How communication skills help in building self esteem and self concept?

Define self-esteem

The term self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall sense of self-worth or personal

value.

We develop self-esteem during our childhoods through the way people, and especially

our parents, treat us. Children who get lots of love and attention when they are young,

and have people telling them they are clever and attractive usually have more self-esteem

than children who are often told they are stupid or ugly, or ignored.

But self-esteem doesn't just stay the same. We can have our self-esteem improved or

worsened by the messages we are given, and by what we decide those messages mean.

Communication and Self-esteem

We give and receive messages by a process called communication. These messages

influence our own behaviour and self-concept, and also the behaviour and self concept of

others.

We can also build other people's self-esteem by giving them compliments and

encouragement in the things they are doing.

Influences of Communication on self-esteem

 Effective communication with other peers results in sharing of different ideas that

leads to the development of one’s own confidence level and higher self-esteem.

 Also self esteem depends on the messages you receive from others that assess

your self-concept. For example, we are not able to believe that we are smart if the
 ones who are important in our lives tell us that we are slow or dumb. Furthermore;

this is how your self esteem grows.

 Better communication skills can get us to the point where we can participate in

public speaking events and various debates. Such opportunities help you to

develop self-esteem.

 Effective communication with others also helps to resolve any conflicts in

communication and many misunderstandings. When people don’t misunderstand

you and your views and tend to understand you, this automatically results in

improving your self esteem.

 Through better communication you are more successful in interpreting your own

ideas and beliefs to others, trying to explain what you are and how you see the

world. When people engage in to listen to you, your confidence level and self

esteem grows.

 With better communication skills, you are capable of sharing your feelings with

others. When people feel they understand you, they try to get along with you and

this can also help you accomplish higher self esteem.

Define Self-Concept

Self is easily defined; it is one's beliefs, attitudes, feelings and values. It is who one is and

what one stands for. Self-concept, is a relevantly stable set of perceptions and emotional

states. It is the way one sees and understands oneself, and contributes to how one

perceives oneself and perceives situations

Communication and Self-concept

A self-concept does not develop overnight; it develops slowly over the course of a

person's lifetime, and is a function of a person's biological makeup, how and where a

person was raised, and their social environment.

Influences of Communication on self-concept

 Good communication encourages self-confidence. When people are confident

they think about themselves positively.

 Communication with others helps us to understand about ourselves and what we

think.

 When two or more people communicate effectively, they acknowledge

eachother’s abilities and skills which enables individuals to develop and achieve

more.

 Effective communication also enables us to know that how people view us. We

normally start thinking about ourselves in the same manner in which people think

of us.

 Communication with others also increase our knowledge about new trends and

this is how you try to self develop.

 Communication with others also enables us to develop new ideas and learn more

which we can imply on ourselves in order to develop your self concept.

Ways and efforts to resolve conflicts in different types of Communication

Define conflict

Conflict is defined as a serious disagreement or argument, typically protracted one.

Types of Conflict

Conflict is classified into the following four types:

Interpersonal conflict

It refers to a conflict between two individuals. This occurs typically due to how people

are different from one another. We have varied personalities which usually results to

incompatible choices and opinions.

Intrapersonal conflict

It occurs within an individual. The experience takes place in the person’s mind. Hence, it

is a type of conflict that is psychological involving the individual’s thoughts, values,

principles and emotions.

Intragroup conflict

It is a type of conflict that happens among individuals within a team. The

incompatibilities and misunderstandings among these individuals lead to an intragroup

conflict. It arises from interpersonal disagreements (e.g. team members have different

personalities which may lead to tension) or differences in views and ideas (e.g. in a

presentation, members of the team might find the notions presented by the one presiding

to be erroneous due to their differences in opinion

Intergroup conflict

It takes place when a misunderstanding arises among different teams within an

organization. For instance, the sales department of an organization can come in conflict

with the customer support department. This is due to the varied sets of goals and interests

of these different groups.

Phases of conflict

A conflict has five phases

Prelude to conflict - It involves all the factors which possibly arise a conflict among

individuals. Lack of coordination, differences in interests, dissimilarity in cultural,

religion, educational background all are instrumental in arising a conflict.

Triggering Event - No conflict can arise on its own. There has to be an event which

triggers the conflict. Sometimes also due to differences in cultural backgrounds.

Initiation Phase - Initiation phase is actually the phase when the conflict has already

begun. Heated arguments, abuses, verbal disagreements are all warning alarms which

indicate that the fight is already on.

Differentiation Phase - It is the phase when the individuals voice out their differences

against each other. The reasons for the conflict are raised in the differentiation phase.

Resolution Phase - A Conflict leads to nowhere. Individuals must try to compromise to

some extent and resolve the conflict soon. The resolution phase explores the various

options to resolve the conflict.

Conflicts in Communication

Most people know that in order to resolve conflicts, we need to communicate about the

issue; but negative patterns of communication can often lead to greater frustration and

escalation of conflict.

Body Language/Tone of Voice

Communication is more than the words we choose to use. In fact, our body language and

tone of voice often speak louder than our words. When we give an incongruent message

where our tone of voice and body language does not match our message, confusion and

frustration often follow.

Differences in Style

Each of us has a unique way of communicating, often based on our family experiences,

culture, gender and many other factors. While there is no right or wrong style, our past

experiences often lead to expectations that are not usually verbally communicated with

others, which can cause tension and misunderstandings in relationships.

Tips to Resolve Conflict Within a Family

Soften the Startup

One of the skills for the family members to overcome communication roadblocks

includes a soft startup to the conversation by starting with something positive, expressing

appreciation, focusing on problems one at a time and taking responsibility for thoughts

and feelings.
Make and Receive Repair Attempts

Another important skill in overcoming communication roadblocks within a family is

learning to make and receive repair attempts.

Effective Speaking and Listening Skills

Overcoming communication roadblocks requires effective speaking and listening skills.

Markman, Stanley and Blumberg (2010) share what they call the “speaker-listener”

technique to help individuals more effectively communicate. Each partner or each family

member takes turns being the speaker and the listener.

Rules for the speaker and listener for resolving conflicts

The rules for the speaker include

1. The speaker should share his/her own thoughts, feelings and concerns—not what

he/she thinks the listener’s concerns are.

2. Use “I” statements when speaking to accurately express thoughts and feelings.

3. Keep statements short, to ensure the listener does not get overwhelmed with

information.

4. Stop after each short statement so that the listener can paraphrase, or repeat back in

his/her own words, what was said to ensure he/she understands. If the paraphrase is not

quite right, gently rephrase the statement again to help the listener understand.
The rules for the listener include:

1. Paraphrase what the speaker is saying. If unclear, ask for clarification. Continue until

the speaker indicates the message was received correctly.

2. Don’t argue or give opinion about what the speaker says—wait to do this until you are

the speaker, and then do so in a respectful manner.

3. While the speaker is talking, the listener should not talk or interrupt except to

paraphrase after the speaker.