Alice in Philosophyland

Mary Ellen Waithe

Cleveland State University

Once upon a time, just about now, a group of philosophers attended a meeting of the

Anachronistic Philosophers Association Committee on the Status of Women. They all gathered

round to hear the story of a philosopher named Alice, a late-blooming feminist and historian of

philosophy.

She began by telling the assembled sages how she almost didn't become a philosopher, or

a feminist for that matter. It started out in the 1970s while Alice was an undergraduate at a well-

known women's college in New York City. The Chair of the Philosophy Department, Dr. No,

held the keys to the kingdom of philosophy. He alone could authorize a student to become a

philosophy major. The intrepid Alice, who already had forty credits of philosophy under her

belt, petitioned to become a major. This required a personal meeting with the chair, at which Dr.

No denied her petition. “We don't have women majors,” he said. Alice thought that was odd

because the school had only recently begun to admit men. "Well," she asked "who does major in

philosophy?" "It's a male profession" Dr. No said. "By the end of this semester I'll have 40

credits in philosophy, mostly A's" pleaded Alice. "You're welcome to minor" he replied.

"History's my minor, I want to major in Philosophy." "Sorry," said Dr. No, "but you'll just get

married, have babies and waste the degree."

A tearful Alice left Dr. No's office, ashamed of herself that she wished him dead. Little

did she know that he soon would die, whether she wished it or not. And when he did, later that

summer, she successfully petitioned the Philosophy Department and was immediately granted

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major status, just in time to begin her senior year. Little did Alice realize it then, but the

experience with Dr. No was turning her into a feminist.

Just as Dr. No had predicted, Alice did get married to another philosophy graduate.

Together, they attended graduate school where he, but not she, was given a teaching

assistantship. When she politely inquired as to why she didn't receive an assistantship she was

informed that they never gave them to both halves of a couple, and since philosophy was a

predominately male field, the male was more likely to be successfully placed upon completion of

the doctorate, something that was good for the school's reputation. This meant that Mr. Alice got

important teaching experience with which to pad his CV while Alice herself got to work full-time

for the first three years graduate school. What the school didn't know, but Alice did, was that Mr.

Alice, a talented logician, hated to write, and would never finish his dissertation. As she saw it,

he was "wasting" his teaching assistantship without even the excuse of having babies to tend to.

She still didn't realize it, but Alice was becoming more and more of a feminist every day.

After completing three years of graduate school in only four years while employed full-

time as a paralegal, Alice was offered a one-year stint as a bioethicist in a notorious New York

hospital for the criminally insane. There, at Bellevue, they operated under the Marquis of

Queensbury rules, much like those under which the profession of philosophy operated. One day,

while waiting to give a paper on justice and the insanity defense, Alice, familiar with rabbit

holes, holed up in the warren-like basement library of the CUNY Graduate Center, intent on

reading the Times to take her mind off the presentation she would be making in a half-hour.

Looking up from her seat she spied a book titled Bibliography of Philosophy. " Ah, well" she

said, it must be fate (and indeed it was) so she picked it up and flipped through it. As the pages

zipped by she caught sight of a peculiar entry, Historia Mulierum Philosopharum it said.

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"Hmm..." she said "I’ve never heard of any women philosophers except that Queen Kristina that

everyone seems to dismiss as a Cartesian crackpot.” Of course, what she didn’t realize then, was

that the everyone to whom her gross generalization referred, were the male historians of the

profession who, apparently, were charged with maintaining and polishing the canon. She mused:

“Historia Mulierum Philosopharum. Were there really other women philosophers? And why was

the book written in Latin? Were there enough women philosophers before the 17th century to fill

up an entire book?”

She thought back to Dr. No's categorical statement that philosophy was a man's field.

Why hadn't any of her graduate professors mentioned the women philosophers that Historia

Mulierum Philosopharum must be about? Why hadn’t all those histories of philosophy

mentioned them? Why weren’t they mentioned in the Canon-manual, then known as the

Encyclopedia of Philosophy? In centuries past, in encyclopedia after encyclopedia, the women

would be mentioned, only to vanish like the Cheshire Cat from mention in smaller, but more

widely-read histories of philosophy.

At the mention of its name, the Cheshire Cat suddenly appeared, precariously perched on

philosophy’s branch of the tree of knowledge. Every stripe on its fur patterned to spell out the

name of a woman philosopher from before the 19th century. “I wish you wouldn’t keep

appearing and vanishing so suddenly; you make one quite giddy!” Alice said. “All right,” said

the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with

the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. “Well! I’ve often seen a cat

without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in

all my life!” She still didn't know it, but that bizarre experience would really bring out the

feminism in her.

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 From that day on, she would sneak time away from researching for her dissertation to

track down the names and works of early women philosophers. While finishing her dissertation,

and working full-time, she gradually assembled materials about early women philosophers. The

years flew by and one book after another flew from her pen. A volume on Ancient Women

Philosophers, one on Medieval Women Philosophers, one on Renaissance and Enlightenment

Women Philosophers, and one on Women Philosophers of the early 20th century. As these books

appeared other women philosophers got to work preparing critical editions of works by women

philosophers. The corpus of Hildegard von Bingen appeared, and that of Kristina of Sweden,

Hildegard, Julian of Norwich, Mary Shepherd, Catharine Beecher, Margaret Cavendish and

others. Encyclopedias of philosophy that had previously included only Simone de Beauvoir

amongst women philosophers now included articles on dozens of women philosophers. The

works of Mary Wollstonecraft, Harriet Taylor, Anne Conway, Damaris Cudworth Masham, Mary

Astell and many other early women philosophers were reprinted. Polite mention of a few

women philosophers, sometimes entire articles, appeared in encyclopedias of philosophy, and

even in a few introductory philosophy texts. But still the histories did not change. “Why”

thought Alice, “anyone reading those histories today would think that prior to the 20th century

there had been no women philosophers.” Curiouser and Curiouser.

With the encouragement and support of the Anachronistic Philosophy Association,

feminist philosophy has become a staple offering in nearly every graduate and undergraduate

philosophy program in the nation. And although this was encouraging and pleased Alice's now

staunchly feminist heart, it did not go far enough.

One day, while in her back yard, Alice fell into a rabbit hole. Down and down she went,

finally landing with a thump in Philosophyland, the place where all philosophers eventually seek

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out each other. "What do you want with us?" the inhabitants of Philosophyland queried. "Truth

and justice" Alice replied. The Red Queen, one of the philosophers, stepped forward. "We'll

begin with justice" she said. Alice felt that she was on trial, so she began to argue her case. "It's

tempting to think that philosophy has adequately responded to the demands of women in the

profession for fairness and equal consideration by admitting feminist philosophy into the canon

of philosophy.... "

At the mention of its name the canon lumbered forward an inch or two. Large, heavy

things like canons don't move easily, and certainly not on their own. Alice was amazed that it had

moved at all. “No room, no room” yelled the logician March Hare. “No room at the Tea Party.

And no room in the Canon.” Everyone paid attention to March Hare, it seemed, even though

none present dared echo the sentiments he expressed, or even acknowledge that they had been

expressed.

"As you can see," spoke the Red Queen "the Canon is quite unmanageable as it is, stuffed

with plenty of fodder already before feminism came round demanding to be included in it. Why,

our undergraduate curricula are already overly-full what with logic and ethics and those damned

history of philosophy sequences. Perhaps you are saying that it was a mistake to stuff feminism

ino the Canon?” March Hare asked sarcastically.

"No, not at all, said Alice."

"And you will agree, won't you, that when Justice demanded the inclusion of the

perspectives of women, that the inclusion of feminist theory improved the Canon both by adding

important subject matter and important new methodologies?"

"Yes," said Alice, "but I really do think that we need to talk about truth before we talk

about justice. You see, as stuffed as it is, the Canon is not truly representative of what the

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content of philosophy actually is unless it includes the contributions made to philosophy by

women of the past, whether they were feminists or not. So this Canon is not a true Canon of

philosophy. It needs to include women philosophers' works from every historical period and on

every philosophical topic."

"But if they're not already in the Canon, then we philosophy professors don't know them"

said Tweedledum. Mock Turtle chimed in. “We philosophy professors have had the best of

educations . . . Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of

Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. Why, we’re just reeling at the

thought of expanding our knowledge, and writhing in our uncomfortable embarrassment at

having known only the male part of the history of philosophy. Nevertheless, we do think this

“Restore the Canon” idea of yours much too ambitious. It will create much too much Distraction

for the Anachronistic Philosophical Association. The hell with these cute little women

philosophers” Mock Turtle exclaimed derisively. “I for one, don’t want to know anything about

them.”

Alice had expected to encounter this attitude, after all, there were still quite a few Dr. Nos

alive. And there was no reason to think that their attitudes would die out with them.

“If they're not already in the Canon, then we philosophy professors don't know them"

repeated Tweedledum, for restating something made it doubly true. “And if we don't know them,

they're not in the Canon" said Tweedledee. “And if they’re not in the Canon, we won’t know

about them” repeated Tweedledum a non sequitur if Alice had ever heard one.

"It's the law of the excluded muddle" noted the Walrus. Or was it?

"So you see there's really nothing we can do" said Tweedledum and Tweedledee in

unison.

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 "But, surely the profession has an interest in truth?" asked Alice.

"Not if it expands the curriculum my dear" said Mad Hatter. "Just think of how many

more courses universities would have to offer if we were to clog up existing courses with works

by women philosophers."

"We did it for feminism, we did it for Marxism, we did it for deconstructionism. We did it

for bioethics. Disciplines expand. It happens. Institutions grow with them." Alice felt that she

was pleading a lost cause. Things sure were weird in Philosophyland, weirder than they'd ever

been in Bellevue.

"Next you'll be saying that medical schools should be teaching about the human genome"

said the Mad Hatter.

"My point exactly" said Alice.

"Modus ponens" quizzed Walrus "or is it modus tollens?" Or neither?

"She's really stirring up quite a storm" said protective Cup and Sorcerer. "Tempests in

teacups are our baliwick; we're not sure we like the competition."

"I'm afraid that the Canon is quite full" the Mock Turtle repeated. “Imagine what would

happen if we expanded it. When we taught Plato’s theory of the human soul, we’d have to teach

Aesara of Lucania. When we taught the Symposium in an aesthetics course, we’d have to

consider whether the main argument really was Diotima’s or was Plato’s – my goodness, we’d

have to compare her views on immortality with his and tease out Plato’s own view from that of

Socrates. You see, my dear” Mock Turtle continued, we’re not even up to Aristotle and already

we’ve added two works to the curriculum.” “ But they’re very small works” replied Alice

“certainly you could squeeze them in???”

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 “What would be next, Conway with Leibniz, Elizabeth with Descartes??? My goodness,

where would the inquiry ever end? You make me want to cry.” Mock Turtle really knew how to

mock thought Alice.

“Think it about it” said Walrus, our discipline is twenty-six hundred years old, and this

woman wants to add six months – maybe a year – to the study of it! I propose that instead, we

include just the biggest of these women philosophers. Perhaps the biggest busted, so at least

we’ll have something to drool over.” Turning to Alice he waxed poetic, something philosophers

rarely did.

“I weep for you,” Mock Turtle said:

“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Women of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
One Hypatia, one Hildegard
One Harriet Taylor Mill,
A Heloise, a Wollstonecraft
Will surely fill the bill!
Van Schurmann and Anne Conway
Emilie du Chatelet
and Catherine Trotter Cockburn
Are more than enough, I say!”

At this point, White Rabbit hopped slowly by. “Too late, too late” he said, the Canon’s

already finished. What’s next, Continuing Education for Philosophy Professors?? The Canon’s

already finished, I say. Has been for, hmm..., can’t tell how long, my watch has stopped. But it’s

certainly been finished for quite some time now. Too late, too late to change it.”

Yours really is a long, sad tale, said Mouse. Not as long and sad as my tail, but long and

sad nonetheless.”

“Yes it is” acknowledged Alice, happy that at least someone commiserated with her. “Can you

imagine the effect it has on women entering what they falsely believe to be a ‘male’ profession?

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Why, way back in 1970 when Dr. No tried to quash my ambitions to become a philosopher,

women accounted for only 12% of Ph.D.s in Philosophy in the USA. How many more may have

been encouraged had they only learned from the get-go that philosophy was something that

women have always done?”

“Dunno,” said March Hare.

“And in 1980, when I found that book Historia Mulierum Philosopharum, women

accounted for 24% of Philosophy Ph.Ds in the USA.”

“That’s double what it had been” chimed in March Hare who was still in charge of

Arithmetic “you really shouldn’t be complaining.”

"Blow up the damn Canon" a flustered Alice retorted. "Blow it to smithereens and put the

pieces back together along with works by women philosophers. You'll have a bigger Canon, but

at least it will truly be the Canon of philosophy."

At the very mention of something being smashed to smithereens Humpty Dumpty felt

compelled to join the conversation. “What if all the King’s horses and all the King’s men can’t

put the Canon back together again?”

"The Egghead is right, said Red Queen. Violence to the Canon is not the answer. Why, I

myself have benefited tremendously from anger management classes, I suggest that you avail

yourself of them my dear. So, if we assume that violence is not the answer, what would you

have us do?" asked the Queen. “Expand the Canon as though it were some giant Hubble

telescope?” And at the mention of its name, the Canon again lurched forward, slowly, if that is

possible. Only, instead of the entire canon moving forward, its neck stretched ahead of its

corpulent corpus like a telescope.

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 “Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment

she quite forgot how to speak good English). “It’s just opening out like the largest telescope that

ever was!” Thus elongated, the Canon’s neck stretched so that it was directly underneath the tree

of knowledge, underneath the very branch on which Cheshire Cat’s smile still appeared to be

perched. Slowly the Cat began to shed its fur, which drifted downwards landing like so much

rain on the Canon of Philosophy. Only in Philosophyland thought Alice, would cat hair turn to

rain. But that’s how it was. Fortunately for Alice, as it turned out. She, along with all the other

philosophers watched in amazement as each droplet turned into a miniature bust of a woman

philosopher. They were all there, too numerous to mention. Well, maybe only a hundred or so.

It was immediately apparent that the old Canon was rusting so quickly that it was damn near

useless.

“Off with those heads” The Red Queen shrieked, pointing to the busts of women

philosophers. “Polish that Canon.” But try as they might, the assembled sages of

Philosophyland--March Hare, White Rabbit, Mouse, Humpty Dumpty, Tweedle Dum and

Tweedle Dee, Protective Cup & Sorcerer, Mock Turtle and Walrus succeeded only in rubbing it

in. And in rubbing Alice the wrong way.

“What can we do??” they cried in unison.

“Funny you should ask” Alice replied. Directing her invective at Mock Turtle in

particular, she continued. “Truth and Justice demand that we not just hide inside our shells and

pretend that philosophy was a male profession right up until the 20th century. If you really want

to upgrade the Canon, the Anachronistic Philosophy Association can take steps to fix that

obsolete machine.

“How’s that?” asked Walrus.

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 “Think outside the Rabbit Hole” suggested Alice, “give up on the idea of a 4-year

philosophy curriculum.”

“NEVER” the assembled philosophers cried out in unison – the only thing they had ever

done in unison, Alice noted.

“Why, we ought to serve this question up to the Committee on the Status of Women” said

Protective Cup-and-Sorcerer, reading the Committee’s charter aloud. “The Committee is charged

with assessing and reporting on the status of women in the profession. Among its responsibilities

are to identify unfair or discriminatory practices and to advise the Board and the members of the

Association of ways in which they may be rectified.”

“Well, keeping women out of the Canon, or pretending that they’re not part of it, or

granting philosophy degrees based on an education that ignores the contributions to the field

made by women certainly are unfair and discriminatory practices” noted Humpty Dumpty. Kind

of like the bias against us eggheads.”

Protective Cup & Sorcerer read on: “The Committee is concerned with teaching and

research. It seeks to facilitate an understanding of issues of gender.”

Red Queen jumped in. “If gender bias is reflected in the histories of our discipline,

histories from which we all teach, then I guess we all contribute to canonizing that bias, even if

some of us are women ourselves.”

“Soooo...” ventured Alice “how about recommending that within a decade all Philosophy

Departments include the teaching of at least some women philosophers in their History of

Philosophy courses?”

“Well,” said Mouse, “what you’re really saying is that this long and sad tale is a matter

for the Committee on the Teaching of Philosophy. After all, their Charter says, and I quote It is

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charged with assessing trends and needs in the teaching of philosophy and making

recommendations for action by the Board. ...it also undertakes programs for the improvement of

teaching. I guess improving teaching of the history of philosophy would qualify.”

“A Committee takes action??”

Alice looked around to see who had posed the question, but she couldn’t be sure. Possibly Mock

Turtle. Alice ignored the comment.

“Perhaps within five years all Philosophy Graduate programs should aim to have at least

20% of those courses that now are dedicated to a single philosopher be dedicated to women

philosophers? If a program has courses on Mill, Locke, Kant, Aristotle, it’ll have one on

Conway. Or Wollstonecraft. Or Hildegard.”

“We get the idea” said March Hare.

“Well, you know” Alice replied, “the Anachronistic Philosophy Association gives prizes

and awards and stuff, it sets goals. It could set goals like that. If it wanted to. Or, perhaps a

Doctoral Dissertation Prize for the best Dissertation about a woman philosopher’s theories? A

Book Award for a work on a woman philosopher?”

“We must have a bit of a fight, about this, or maybe just a lively discussion, but I don’t

care about going on long,” said Tweedledum. “What’s the time now?” Tweedledee looked at his

watch, and said, “Much more than half past the time alotted.” Running out of time was so

typical of Philosophy meetings. “Let’s fight – er, discuss till the end of time and then have

lunch,” said Tweedledum.

“Well,” Alice wondered, “will they really chew on the question of expanding the Canon

and along with it, the philosophy curriculum? Would the Anachronistic Philosophy Association

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be able to digest such a heavy matter? Or will it just get stuck in their craw until the end of time,

if not longer?”

Expecting nothing but wanting much, Alice crawled out of the Rabbit Hole and out of

Philosophyland. She thought about her life and how Dr. No had been partially correct: she had

eventually married. She had eventually had babies. And sometimes it seemed that she had

wasted that degree by trying so hard to upgrade that rusty Canon and its curricula.

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