Andrea Hansen

Professor Stephen Haslam

COMM 1010-833-303

21 Jan. 2019

Myself as a Communicator – Part Three

This assignment has helped further my understanding of effective communication. I

found that I need to work on actively listening, and that I go to great lengths to avoid

confrontation, or expressing differences of opinion with people I don’t know very well. For this

part of the assignment, I interviewed my boyfriend, my mom, and my sister. I will examine their

responses to the provided questions, and reflect on what I learned about myself from this

experience.

Articulating Needs, Opinions, Views, or Concerns

My sister said I’m competent in this area and getting better. She noted that I try to explain

what I’m looking for in a concise way, although sometimes I get frustrated if I’m misunderstood.

She also stated that I’m straightforward when I need someone to do something specific, rather

than expecting them to read my mind.

My mom said I’m good at sharing my opinion with her, but I’m not keen on sharing

things that are antagonistic. I’m good at helping her understand what my problem is. She

mentioned that I don’t only rely on voice, but also body language and tone.

My boyfriend said that I am very thorough when addressing my concerns about anything,

and I explain why I feel the way I do. He stated that I’m very perceptive on whether he’s

confused on a subject or not, and I give him clarification without him needing to ask. He said I

always think about what to say before I say it, and usually provide a well-articulated response.

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He explained to me that I sometimes cut people off when they’re speaking, to express my point

further, before letting them respond first. When he and I have a disagreement, I think through

things that are bothering me, and include points and explanations about why I feel that way. This

helps him to think deeper about the subject.

Listening

My sister mentioned that I sometimes interrupt people while they’re speaking, but she

can tell that I’m listening to her as long as I’m not looking at my computer or phone. She further

explained that she isn’t bothered by me interjecting into the conversation if what I’m saying is

contextually appropriate, but that it does bother her when she is telling me a story and I interrupt

with something seemingly unrelated. She said I ultimately show her that I’m listening by making

eye contact, and responding in a way that shows I am paying attention to the conversation.

My mom said I am a great listener, and I don’t just purely sit and listen. I also ask

questions to further my understanding of the discussion. She explained how my input of

comments shows her that I’m empathetic, I’m listening, and I’m paying attention. She said when

we are face-to-face and she is talking to me about a problem, I am sincerely listening. She did

say that the only time she feels as though I am not giving my full attention to the conversation is

when I’m getting ready, doing homework, or on my phone.

My boyfriend said I am a good listener, aside from cutting others off when they’re

speaking. He said I show him I am listening by adding to the conversation, I consistently look

like I’m engaged in what he’s saying, and I make eye contact. He stated he has always liked that

I turn to face him if we are having a serious conversation, and he feels as though I am listening

even if we are not facing each other or making eye contact. One thing he mentioned is how I

don’t listen to anything else when I am watching TV. He said that there are a few times when

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he’s caught me not paying attention to the conversation because I’m focusing too much on the

TV.

Nonverbal Communication

My sister said I make great eye contact and I seem open to talk to with my body

language. She said my face can’t lie, though, and explained how she can always tell when I’m

upset about something, based on my facial expressions. She said I often get distracted by things

happening outside of the conversation, and she can tell because I focus my gaze on something

else. I could improve this by not allowing myself to get distracted by things outside the

conversation.

My mom said that she can tell when I’m listening to her, I make eye contact, and I

communicate well with my body language. She said if I’m facing away from her, for example:

while cooking dinner, and we’re talking, she can still see that I’m participating in the

conversation.

My boyfriend said that I’m expressive with my body language and facial expressions. He

said I am able to hold his attention when I’m speaking, and when I’m listening, and he feels that

I express things to him in an effective way, whether verbal or nonverbal. He stated that I don’t

show him that I’m unapproachable or reserved, and that I always seem open to communication.

He explained that my body language gives off a positive attitude, shows that I’m easy going, and

allows people to get along with me very easily.

Communication Strengths

My sister said I am a good listener when I am actively listening, and I am great at

suggesting solutions to problems when she asks for them. She said I am engaging, and can hold a

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stimulating conversation. She explained how I empathize really well when she expresses a

problem that she’s been facing to me.

My mom said I put her at ease when I speak with her, and that my shyness used to get the

best of me, however, she can tell that I’m working to overcome it. I used to never order for

myself in restaurants, or talk to anyone on the phone, and I have been able to work through these

things to become better. She said I have a very nice tone of voice when speaking, and I come off

as a very nice, caring, person, who feels for everyone I talk to. She mentioned that I

communicate differently depending on who I am with, which to her is a strength, because I alter

my communication according to the situation.

My boyfriend said I hold eye contact very well, and I speak with clarity in any given

situation. He mentioned that I smile a lot when communicating, and it shows people how

likeable I am. He also said I am good to hold a conversation with, especially if I am passionate

about the topic. It is safe to share our views and opinions with each other, even if they are

different, because we work together to come to an understanding that accommodates both of us

equally.

Communication Weaknesses

My sister stated that I need to improve my active listening skills, and work on not being

easily distracted during conversations. She also stated that I can get defensive when people

suggest I do something differently, depending on the situation. I also tend to shut down when

having an argument with my family, and I often take myself out of the situation to calm down.

Then, once I’ve calmed down, I am able to talk through the situation more effectively.

My mom said I have always had problems talking in front of people, or being the center

of attention. She knows that I don’t like to speak publicly in groups or for presentations. She said

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that this depends on the situation as well, and referenced the speech I gave for my sister’s

wedding, which was in front of many people, although they were family members and friends.

She said I sometimes have a hard time getting to what my opinion is, depending on the situation,

and included that my communication has improved over the years as I’ve matured.

My boyfriend said I am afraid to speak my mind at times. I sometimes default away from

verbal communication, and expect him to understand what I’m wanting. He said that a lot of

confusion could be avoided if I would just tell him explicitly what I want.

Having a Conversation with Me

My sister said conversations with me are engaging, and our conversations are usually a

lot of fun. We are able to have discussions about things that we don’t always agree upon, but we

hear each other out, and come to an understanding of the other’s opinion of the topic. She also

said that I make smart, funny comments about situations in everyday life.

My mom said I am one of her favorite people to have a conversation with. She said we

learn from each other, mentioned that I come up with great jokes or remarks on the spot, and

make a lot of people laugh.

My boyfriend said having conversations with me is fun, and that I’m very approachable.

He said I am great at holding a conversation for hours, and if we do have differences of opinion,

I bring it up in a nonconfrontational way which makes it easier to digest and handle. He

mentioned if I have something that really bothers me, then I sometimes shy away from it and

have to be coerced into opening up about what’s bothering me. Other than that, I am clear and

concise about my feelings and what I want. He likes that I never come into a conversation

wanting to argue, and also mentioned how I make him laugh and have a quick wit, which he

says, “keeps things interesting.”

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Summary

I was aware of a lot of the things that my mom, boyfriend, and sister mentioned to me.

For instance, actively listening, getting distracted, and shying away from confrontation. I was

pleased to hear them all say that I make them laugh, and that they think I’m funny. I also enjoyed

hearing that I make adequate eye contact and that I am engaging to communicate with. I liked

getting the opportunity to ask my loved ones these questions, so that I could see how others’

perceive me as a communicator. I also feel that this project benefits me immensely, as it has

pointed out some of my communication “blind spots,” or things that I did not initially see, but

now do. Having other people point out aspects of your communication skills that you did not

originally notice, can allow you to work on these aspects and, will improve your relationships

and daily interactions. I completely enjoyed participating in this assignment, and I would like to

continue to work on these aspects throughout my life.