Sometimes it's hard to find the right words when someone you care about is

suffering. Still, there are plenty of ways you can be supportive in painful
circumstances. When you don’t know what to say or do to help people who
are hurting, try the following:

1. Pray for them.

The power of prayer is real. I consider myself a walking miracle, and I'm
extremely thankful to God for every one of those petitions people made on
my family’s behalf.

2. Hug them.
Hugs are a wonderful way to show you care. Another plus with giving
someone a hug is that you don’t have to worry about saying the wrong
thing. When people hugged me, I felt like it was okay to not say anything
when I didn’t feel like talking. The hug said it all.

3. Stay with them.

Hurting people can be filled with fear. Try to make sure grieving people
are not left alone in those early, dark days.

4. Bring a meal.
Grieving people don’t always feel like keeping up a conversation. When
people are hurting, they may not want to talk when someone stops by with
a meal. Sometimes it's best to leave a yummy, homemade meal at the door.
Doing this will meet people's physical needs and make them feel loved,
while giving them any needed personal space.

5. Send them a text/message.

A brief text can make a huge difference to a person who is
suffering. Each time I receive encouraging or positive messages/texts, I
feel like there are a thousand words of love in that one phrase or even just
an emoji.
6. Call them.
Take a moment and give them a call. People who are hurting may not
answer the phone, but it’s nice to know someone is checking in on them.

True story (testimony): “One day I didn’t know if I could make it another
moment. I had almost completely lost my will to live. The phone rang. It
was one of the moms from my daughter’s soccer team. This woman’s phone
call got me through that overwhelming moment and helped me to keep
going.”

7. Just sit next to them.

I remember crying on the shoulders of my female friends. They acted
like mothers to me (my own mom had died many years ago). One evening a
Christian friend of mine brought over a meal. Another friend of a different
faith had stopped by and was trying to encourage me by telling me about
reincarnation, and my Christian friend and I sat on the sofa next to each
other as this dear woman shared. We both appreciated her efforts to
comfort me, even though we didn’t hold the same beliefs as she did. I felt
loved and cared for by both women, even though they were showing their
concern in different ways. This is a precious memory for me.

8. Include them in your activities.

They may not come, but that’s okay. It’s nice to feel included in
everyday activities and special events, especially when hurting people are
trying to find the “new normal.”

9. Help them resume their activities.

Go with your friend to the grocery store or shopping mall. It’s difficult
to take on everyday errands in the early weeks and months after a traumatic
life experience. Sometimes you don’t want to run into anyone you know. I
felt very self-conscious going out in public for a long time because I knew
people felt so badly for me. One of my friends would come over and help
me do my grocery shopping at a different place farther away from my
neighborhood store. I felt protected by her presence. This is also a special
memory for me.

10. Don’t tell them that they need to move on; help
them to move forward.
Don’t expect a full recovery. Major hurts such as the death of a loved one,
abandonment, illness, divorce, being the victim of sexual abuse or other
serious crimes, and extreme poverty are not things people get over. This
world hurts, very badly a lot of the time. If your child were a prisoner of
war, would you miss him or her less after five years than you did after one
month? Of course not. The pain would be even greater after five years
because it would be that much longer since you had been with each other.
People can heal from major life traumas, but a scar is likely to remain.

We can take courage because sin and death won’t have the final word. God
sent his Son to do for us what we could not do for ourselves: live the
perfect life on our behalf and be the perfect atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Through faith in Christ alone for our salvation, we will triumph over all the
tragedies of this world and live forever with God in glory:

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right
to become children of God (John 1:12).

Now that’s great comfort indeed.