Mays 1

Brooklin M. Mays

Mrs. Kenly

British Literature

26 April 2019

Outline

I. Family Matters: Is Toxic Parenting linked to Teen Depression? How Many Children
are impacted by the legacy?

A. Introduction

B. Thesis Statement: Toxic parenting, in short, is the category in which all "poor"

parenting styles fall under. Toxic parenting can range from neglect to emotional

abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, love withdrawal, and emotional unavailability.

The long terms effects of such parenting may be detrimental to the child's self-

esteem.

II. Background

A. There are 12 types of parenting.

1. [1] Positive parenting [2] Intuitive parenting [3] Conscious parenting [4]

Holistic parenting [5] Nurturing parenting [6] Authoritative parenting [7]

Authoritarian parenting [8] Indulgent parenting [9] Neglectful parenting [10]

Over parenting [11] Narcissistic parenting [12] Toxic parenting.

2. Is there such a thing as toxic parenting?

 Mays 1

B. Toxic parenting, in short, is the category in which all "poor" parenting styles fall

under.

C. Toxic parenting can range from neglect to emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual

abuse, love withdrawal, and emotional unavailability.

III. Does bad parenting have bad effects?

A. The long terms effects of such parenting may be detrimental to the child’s self-

esteem.

1. For instance, a child may rationalize “I am the reason for Mom/Dad treating

me this way”

2. “I must have earned this treatment because I am all the things they describe

me to be.”

3. Individuals fail to realize there are existential and long term effects of toxic

parenting besides a child’s sense of self-worth.

IV. Does bad parenting lead to depression, lack of ability to socialize, and connect with

others?

A. Many argue that teen depression cannot be traced back to parenting.

1. According to What's Happening to our Children an article written by Neal

Lawrence social /environmental factors is the cause of 55% of mental health

cases, suicides, and attempts of self-harm.

2. 50 percent more teens in 2016 demonstrated clinically diagnosable depression

than in 2011 (Lawrence, Neal; 2017).

3. The number of children and teens hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or self-

harm doubled in 2016-2017 (Lawrence, Neal; 2017)

 Mays 1

B. Is there more than one type of toxic parenting?

1. Marc Fisher states that there are 6 different types of toxic parents. [1] the

alcoholics [2] the controllers [3] the sexual abusers [4] the physical abusers [5]

the verbal abuser’s [6] the inadequate parents.

a) A short story about an experience with toxic parenting

b) Movie Reference

V. Can toxic parenting lead to the criminalization of a child?

A) Many disagree that the type of parenting that a child is exposed to has an effect on

how they behave, mature, the relationships they are involved in, how they treat

others, and how they cope with issues.

B) Teenagers get all the ink for being backbiting, cliquish and prone to bad decisions.

But in the harsh game of competitive parenting, the cliques are just as strong

among the parents. In the world of toxic parents, there's always someone the rest of

us love to hate” (Fisher; Marc, 2006).

VI. Can you experience PTSD from bad parenting?

A. Increasing numbers of people are now referring to themselves as "Adult Children,"

a curious metaphor (Blau, Melinda; 1990).

1. Experts believe that 90% of us are still suffering from the ravages of childhood

B. Should the methods of parenting change base on the generation?

1. The parents of today's kids grew up in an era of generational conflict,

adolescent rebellion, sex, and drugs.

 Mays 1

2. Since then, Boomer parents have brought us the era of zero tolerance, the

criminalization of adolescent acting-out, and the elevation of safety and

security to the top of the priority list (Blau; Melinda, 1990).

VII. A controlling parent is also a toxic parent

A. These parents, recalling only too well what they did as teens try to protect their

children from the horrors of what they experienced.

B. Some parents are demanding of their children but, this does not mean that they are

controlling.

1. Signs that you have a controlling parent are: over scrutinized your eating,

appearance, hobbies, or social life, pressured you with perfectionistic expectations

or unattainable standards, forbid you from questioning or disagreeing with them,

discouraged you from expressing anger, fear or sadness around them, violated your

privacy, intimidated/manipulated or overpowered you, and discouraged your

efforts to experiment and think for yourself,

a) Should children be able to tell parents how they feel?

C. Controlling-toxic parents are more worried about your successes and how it will be

a reflection of their “good” parenting skills instead of letting you be in control of

your life and making your own decisions.

1. Children will grow up and realize they did not live their life like how they

wanted to.
 Mays 1

a) When these children grow up and realize that they did not live life how

they wanted to it leads to problems in the parent-child relationship (Fisher,

Marc; 2006).

b) A short story about an experience with toxic parenting

VIII. Who is to blame for toxic parenting?

A. "Many therapists agree that parent bashing is often a euphemism for mother

bashing. Most post-Freudian therapists--reflecting the society in general--promoted

the basic assumption that mothers, as the family "gatekeepers," were somehow

responsible for how children turned out. If the kids had problems, Mother was

either too involved or not enough; if Dad was depressed, it was because Mom was

emasculating him. If fathers have been blamed for anything, it's that they haven't

been there. Even in cases of incest, the mother has often been held responsible--for

not stopping it" (Johnson, Rick; 2016).

IX. Realizing you were/ are a victim of toxic parenting and how to move on

A. Some victims handle their sorrows differently

1. It has been recorded that 54% of Adult Children dump their sorrows on their

parents while other Adult Children assemble to flesh out forgotten images from

painful childhoods.

B. Parent Bashing

1. But there may be little talk of forgiveness, much about blame, and, sometimes,

fantasies of revenge. Will chronic angst simply be transmuted to chronic

 Mays 1

anger? And if parent bashing is the prescription, what are the long-term effects

of that "medicine" on succeeding generations? How will the children of these

Adult Children view their parents?” (Collins, Bryn C, 2018)

C. The Adult Child movement which was started in 2006 to help survivors of extreme

abuse.

D. The group of adults was children of alcoholics, drug abusers, victims of

incest, physical, mental violence. This group aims to help many people exorcize

childhood demons of shame and isolation. It also plans to help them understand

that what happened to them as children was not their fault and that as adults they

need no longer be victims.

X. Survey

A. “Have you experienced depression due to parenting and lack thereof?”

1. 41% of the participants answered yes to the question

a) This proves that toxic parenting does affect the child and how they cope

with issues that they experience.

B. "As you age do you see yourself having more or less contact with your parent(s)?

Why or Why not"

1. A survey participant that mentioned earlier in the survey that they do not have

a good relationship with their parents said that they will have less contact with

their parents because they expect a lot out of he/she and the goals they have for

he/she are not their personal goals. The participant also mentions that she

would be open to regaining a relationship in the future if they stop pushing

 Mays 1

him/her to be more like their siblings and understand that they are their own

person.

XI. Conclusion