Running head: CONSULTING RELATIONAL AGGRESSION 1

Consulting Relational Aggression

Allison Fay & Colleen Pelton
Bridgewater State University
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Introduction

The current problem that has been described as “relational aggression” by Tristin Jolly

who is a seventh grade school counselor for Freetown-Lakeville Middle School. She described

relational aggression as bullying with a “queen bee” mentality focusing on girls. Relational

aggression is defined as “behaviors that harm others through damage (or threat of damage) to

relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion” (Spieker, S., Campbell,

S., Vandergrift, N., Pierce, K., Cauffman, E., Susman, E., & Roisman, G., 2012). According to

Speiker et al. (2012), relational aggression acts within two ways. It can be reactive such as

excluding a student from a group because the other student is simply mad at them. Secondly, it

can be defensive such as spreading rumors about a student to damage their reputation and in

order to enhance their own.

Middle school is a time where gender is normally separated. Developmentally, peer

groups of the same sex is the norm. Supporting that the problem is focused on girl students, the

Speiker’s et al. (2012) study had concluded that girl students that participated in the experiment

had been exposed to relational aggression by third grade. In addition, the girl students were more

likely to partake in relational aggression than male students. It is evident that relational

aggression is mainly focused on the female student population in not only research but also at

Freetown-Lakeville Middle School.

There is a difference between aggression and bullying. According to The Ophelia Project,

“aggression is an isolated event where a person intentionally harms another. Bullying involves

more specifically, repetition.” Bullying is an aggressive behavior that involves unwanted,

negative actions that are repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power or strength. An

example of the difference between the two would be that aggression is a friend did not invite you
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over their house because they do not like you or want you around, while bullying is when that

same person excludes you from something every day, like not letting you play games with them,

not letting you sit with them during lunch, and not inviting you to places (The Ophelia Project,

2011).

Prevalence

Relational Aggression can be hard to report in schools. According to Yoon, Barton &

Taiarol (2016), relational aggression can be viewed as normal adolescent behavior by educators

and is often difficult to report because it is second hand information. However, the prevalence of

relational aggression is rapidly growing. According to the U.S. Department of Education (2016),

20.8% of students aged 12 through 18 reported being bullied in school year of 2014-2015. The

two types of bullying most reported were 13.3% of bullied students reported name calling, made

fun of or insulted. 12.2% reported being the subject of rumors. Both of these types of bullying

can be considered relational aggression. It is evident that relational aggression is currently the

highest form of bullying in the United States.

Recent studies have shown that victims of relational aggression tend to be more

depressed, anxious, and have lower self-esteem (Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol, 2016, p. 306). When

relational aggression becomes chronic, victims often view themselves as the cause of the

maltreatment. Producing these thoughts will result in victim’s self-esteem lowering and overall

difficulty adjusting in school (Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol, 2016, p. 306). According to Yoon,

Bartion, & Taiarol (2016), girls report higher numbers of victimization because they value

intimacy of relationships more than boys. Girls are at a higher risk to be a victim or to perform

relational aggression. Research has shown the girls who display relational aggression experience

similar symptoms to oppositional defiant and conduct disorders. Relational aggression has been
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linked to concurrent and future adjustment problems for both victims and perpetrators (Yoon,

Bartion, & Taiarol, 2016, p. 306).

Possible Causes

Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol (2016), suggest that family dynamic can be a possible cause for

relational aggressive behavior. Paternal psychological control has been positively correlated with

relational aggression for females, and maternal coercive control with maternal corporal

punishment has been associated with relational aggression in males. Another possible cause that

has been explored is the sibling relationship with the perpetrator. It has been established that

sibling aggression has been a strong influence for aggressive behavior in general. Relational

aggression has been reported to be more prevalent with siblings than physical aggression.

Although there has not been a direct link between relational aggression with sibling and peer

relationships, it is likely it plays some type of role for the perpetrator (Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol,

2016, p. 307).

Another likely cause to be explored is peer group mentality. Most victimization occurs in

a group context and that students are threatened by peer groups. These peer groups are often seen

at the middle school level. The perpetrators all play different roles such as leaders, members,

bystanders, etc. It has been expressed that there is not just one “school yard bully” anymore

(Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol, 2016, p. 308).

Effects of Relational Aggression

Relational Aggression has proven to have effects on victims. According to Marsh et al.

(2016), being a victim of relational aggression is connected to future criminality, long-term

depression, and future violent behavior. For victims who have experienced repeated occurrences

over a long period of time may be at greater risk of psychological distress, severe depression,
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psychopathology, and deteriorating physical health (Marsh et al., 2016). It was noted by Marsh et

al. (2016) that a study conducted by Wong and Schonlau (2013) used propensity score matching

to measure being a victim of relational aggression as a child was associated with delinquent

behavior later in adult life. Outcomes for the aggressors are just as crucial. Marsh et al. (2016)

stated that aggressors were more at risk for developing personality disorders in young adulthood.

It was also discussed by Yoon, Bartion, & Taiarol (2016) that aggressors are more likely to show

symptoms associated with oppositional defiant and conduct disorders which highly negatively

impact learning.

Relational Aggression can result in physical symptoms in both the aggressor and target.

The Ophelia Project suggests that when a child reports physical symptoms, ask about relational

aggression. Physical symptoms can include headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, trouble sleeping,

loss of appetite, and unexplained crying. Both aggressor as well as targets experience these

symptoms. “Being a target is directly related to exhibiting symptoms like headaches and trouble

sleeping” (The Ophelia Project 2007). Physical symptoms vary by gender. Girls targeted by

relational aggression are more likely to have headaches and difficulty sleeping while boys who

were targets reported headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping and loss of appetite (The

Ophelia Project 2007). “Boys who engaged in relational aggression reported they experienced

fatigue and trouble sleeping. There was no relationship between girls’ relationally aggressive

behavior and physical symptoms” (The Ophelia Project 2007).

Intervention

Self-affirmation theory can provide a way of understanding people’s responses to

threatening information. “Self-affirmation has been shown to improve people’s receptiveness to

threatening information across a range of domains” (Armitage and Rowe 490). According to
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Armitage and Rowe, “people are motivated to preserve a positive, moral, and adaptive self-

image and to maintain self-integrity” (490). This can result in a subject becoming defensive

when antiaggression messages are being told because this information may be threatening to the

self.

Armitage and Rowe did a study where they “demonstrated that a simple information

message combined with a self-affirming activity significantly reduced the frequency of relational

aggression over a 1-month period” (494). What they did for the study was hand out a

questionnaire to students where students would answer relational aggression questions like “In

the last month, how many times did you threaten to stop being someone’s friend in order to hurt

them or get what you wanted from them?,” and “In the last month, how many times did you get

into an argument with classmates?” (493). The authors then handed everyone an antirelational

aggression message to read. After a month, the researchers came back and gave the students

another questionnaire. They found that student’s relational aggressive behaviors decreased in

frequency in the month after they received the antirelational aggression message.

Sherri Gordon wrote an article on ways to respond to relational aggression. She writes

that “healthy friendships are a safe place where she can truly be herself. But when the chances

for friendship are limited or destroyed due to relational aggression, the impact can be

devastating. And, as a parent, you’re often left wondering what you can do to help.” She then

gives 14 ways to respond to relational aggression. A few of the examples she gives are “Be a

Good Listener,” “Pay Attention to Your Child’s Moods,” “Monitor Internet and Cell Phone

Activity,” “Advise Her, but Don’t Try to "Fix" Things,” “Support Healthy Coping Mechanisms,”

and more. Some important ones should be highlighted, especially for parents as well as educators

and other professionals. Gordon says to “try not to intervene too soon” and that “for many
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parents, the first thought is to call the school and get the situation addressed immediately. But, as

long as there are no safety issues, sometimes it helps to let your daughter manage things. Doing

so reinforces that you believe in her ability to handle her life.” Other important ones to go with

that are knowing when to contact school officials and knowing when to get outside help. “While

it’s important to give your daughter the chance to solve the issue on her own, you don’t ever

want to delay contacting school officials if a student has threatened or physically harmed your

daughter” (Gordon). Gordon also says that “allowing bullying go on too long can have

devastating effects on your [child].”

Conclusion

Relational aggression is defined as “behaviors that harm others through damage (or threat

of damage) to relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion” (Speiker et

al., 2012). Relational aggression affects countless people every day. Going through it can cause

detrimental effects to a child, teenager, or adult. Being a victim of relational aggression is

connected to future criminality, long-term depression, and future violent behavior. For victims

who have experienced repeated occurrences over a long period of time may be at greater risk of

psychological distress, severe depression, psychopathology, and deteriorating physical health

(Marsh et al., 2016). One way to help reduce relational aggression in life could be to introduce

antirelational aggression messages at an early age. If they see those messages early, it would

hopefully reduce aggression in the future.

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References

Armitage, C. J., & Rowe, R. (2017). Evidence that self-affirmation reduces relational aggression:

A proof of concept trial. Psychology of Violence, 7(4), 489-497. doi:10.1037/vio0000062

Gordon, S. (2017). 14 Ways to Respond to Relational Aggression: Helping Your Daughter

Overcome Emotional Bullying. Verywell.

Lessne, D., & Yanez, C. (2016, December 20). Student Reports of Bullying: Results From the

2015 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey (United

States, United States Department of Education). Retrieved November 5, 2017, from

https://nces.ed.gov/pubsearch/pubsinfo.asp?pubid=2017015

Marsh, H. W., Craven, R. G., Parker, P. D., Parada, R. H., Guo, J., Dicke, T., & Abduljabbar, A.

S. (2016). Temporal ordering effects of adolescent depression, relational aggression, and

victimization over six waves: Fully latent reciprocal effects models. Developmental

Psychology, 52(12), 1994-2009. doi:10.1037/dev0000241

Spieker, S., Campbell, S., Vandergrift, N., Pierce, K., Cauffman, E., Susman, E., & Roisman, G.

(2012). Relational aggression in middle childhood: Predictors and adolescent outcomes.

Social Development, 21(2), 354-375. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9507.2011.00631.x

The Ophelia Project. (n.d.). Retrieved from www.opheliaproject.org/

Yoon, J., Barton, E., & Taiariol, J. (2016). Relational aggression in middle school.

The Journal of Early Adolescence,24(3), 303-318. doi:10.1177/0272431604265681