Kelly Murray

Professor Ellen Klein, Ph.D.

Introduction to Communication

1 August 2018

As humans, we are constantly involved in different forms of communication events.

Communication surrounds our daily lives and it is necessary for us to survive and thrive in our

environments. Recently I have been involved in several communication events which I was able

to apply our course concepts to.

I recently had to move out of the apartment that I had been living in for the past two

years. My roommates were three of my best friends who constantly came in and out of my room.

One day while I was packing, one of my roommates was describing her troubles with her

boyfriend to me. I was ​hearing​ her but not really ​listening​ to what she was saying. As I have

learned, there is a large difference between these two actions. ​Hearing​ is “​the sensory process of

receiving and perceiving sounds​” (Floyd 128), while ​listening​ is “​the active process of making

meaning out of another person’s spoken message​” (Floyd 128). She was talking to me but I was

not interpreting what she was saying because of what I was doing. Packing created ​noise​ for me.

Noise​ is “​anything that distracts people from listening to what they wish to listen to​” (Floyd

137). My roommate did not notice that I was not paying attention to her because I kept saying

“uh-huh” and “right” to pretend I was listening, which is called ​pseudolistening​.

In another instance, a woman from my sorority came to talk to me about my role as

president. She and I do not get along, and she has talked negatively about me behind my back

before. She attempted to give me ​constructive criticism ​about my performance. According to

our textbook, ​criticisms​ are, “​complaints about another person or the person’s behavior​” (Floyd

200). Instead of being helpful, she was negative and rude. Overall it was an unpleasant

encounter. She kept attacking me as a person and in summary said I was a joke to her. During

this encounter, I did not say a word to her, and eventually I had to walk away from her because

she was taking valuable time away from my life. My “​withdrawing from a conversation​” (Floyd

201) is known as ​stonewalling​. This was my strategy to brush the conversation off and leave the

situation.

A third communication event I was recently involved in occurred at my workplace. One

of my coworkers was discussing a recent Tinder date she had been on that had ended in an

awkward fashion. She was saying that she did not like the man but he liked her wanted a kiss

goodbye. My boss entered the room and my coworker quickly ended the conversation. She began

speaking about our latest project and my boss was able to chime in to discuss details with us. My

coworker and I are ​peers ​on the same level. We are both college females, and we consider

ourselves to be in an ​in-group ​together. ​In-groups​ are “​groups of people with which a person

identifies​” (Floyd 31). Subjects that we discuss together should not always be discussed with our

superiors, or in this case our boss. Our boss on the other hand is a middle aged male with whom

we cannot relate to easily. He is in our ​out-group​, meaning we do not identify with him (Floyd

31). It is important to recognize these groups and to understand what is appropriate to talk about

and what is not.

After taking this course, I aim to improve my communications with others. I can begin by

becoming more aware of my actions, especially my listening skills. When my roommate was

discussing her love life, I should have been using ​empathic listening​. We use this form of
listening “​to experience what the speaker thinks or feels​” (Floyd 134). I should have tried to be

more sympathetic and understanding towards her, especially because she is struggling. I strive to

be a better listener to those who need me. When I receive ​criticism​, I will try to be more open

towards it. When the criticism is coming from a negative place, I may get ​defensive​ or see

myself as the victim (Floyd 200). I will try harder to overcome my issues and speak rationally to

the other person involved in the conversation. I will also be more aware of the ​in-groups​ and

out-groups​ that surround me, and be more respectful of their boundaries. Certain things should

not be said in certain instances and I will be more conscious from now on. Overall, I hope to be a

greater communicator in general, based on my surplus of knowledge from this course.

 Works Cited

Floyd, Kory. ​Communication Matters.​ McGraw-Hill, 2018. Smartbook Edition.