DOES SOCIAL

MEDIA SHAKE UP
YOUR
RELATIONSHIP?

Mary Schiele

5/9/2019
ICT Capstone
COM 479, Spring 2019
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Abstract

The line that separates the virtual world, with reality has blurred over the past decade due

to social networking sites. Social networking sites have become an important aspect within

society, specifically effecting our relationships. To get a better understanding of how these

virtual realities effect romantic relationships, a survey was conducted including nine multiple

choice questions and five open-ended questions where participants could fill-in. Seventeen

couples participated ranging from different age cohorts, of 18-70 years old. At the end of the

survey, it was concluded that while social networking sites have a negative effect on

relationships, in most cases it has built a different sense of trust. When comparing the different

age cohorts, couples between the age 18-35, have issues involving social networking sites

throughout the longevity of the relationship, couples between the age of 36-50, only had issues in

the beginning of the relationship, while couples in the age group 51-70 had no issues from social

networking sites. When looking at genders, more female participants felt social networking sites

took away from spending quality time together, while male participants, believe issues stem from

there partner being jealous. Lastly, Instagram was the most widely used platform. While, social

networking sites are used as a form of pleasure, they can affect our relationships destructively.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS

ABSTRACT……………………………………………………………………………………....2

TABLE OF CONTENTS……………………………………………………………………….…3

LIST OF TABLES………………………………………………………………………………...4

INTRODUCTION………………………………………………………………………………...5

LITERATURE REVIEW…………………………………………………………………………7

Monitoring Behavior in Relationships…………………………………………………….7

A Person’s Presence on Social Networking Sites…………………………………………7

Relationships in Youth…………………………………………………………………….8

Social Networking Sites…………………………………………………………………...9

RESEARCH QUESTION………………………………………………………………………..11

VARIABLES…………………………………………………………………………………….11

METHODOLOGY………………………………………………………………………………11

Participants………………………………………………………………………………13

Sampling Procedure……………………………………………………………………...13

Data Collection…………………………………………………………………………..13

FINDINGS……………………………………………………………………………………….14

DISCUSSION……………………………………………………………………………………16

CONCLUSION…………………………………………………………………………………..18

Limitations……………………………………………………………………………….18

REFERENCE…………………………………………………………………………………….20

APPENDIX………………………………………………………………………………………21

Survey Questionnaire…………………………………………………………………….21
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List of Tables
Figure 1

Figure 2

Figure 3

Figure 4
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Introduction

Social networking sites have become a part of life that most of the modern society cannot

live without. We use social networking sites to connect with distant relatives or friends, to stay

up to date with the latest breaking story, to laugh for no reason, and much more. It’s importance

to society is like a snowball rolling down a hill; Becoming bigger and bigger as time goes on.

From the significance, social networking sites impose on a singular person, I wondered how it

affected their romantic relationships. This is a territory that is personal but is also made public

through social media. How does social networking sites improve or destroy relationships? From

this study, I hope to give clarity on if social networking sites affect relationships at all. If they do,

is it negatively, or positively? Generally, how does it affect relationships? And, while each

relationship is unique in their own way, is there a pattern between different age cohorts or

gender? This study, is beneficial to everyone no matter where they stand in life right now. Even

if you are not on social networking sites, someone close to you probably is, and it is an

affordance that is attaining momentum as time goes on. Social networking sites have become

intertwined in all aspects of life. Whether you are in high school and using Instagram for your

social life, or in your late thirties using LinkedIn searching for a new job, or in your seventies

connecting with distant relatives, keeping in touch on what is happening in each other’s lives.

Today, showing our peers our relationships, romantically or socially, has become

significantly important. Before society could hold the internet in their hand, relationships were

private, shared with family and close friends, but for the most part between the two-people

involved. From the advances in technology people are able to share every part of their lives.

From this, there is a new pressure that is put on relationships. People feel the urge to post when
 Schiele 6

their significant other does something for them, or to post there significant other to show their

affection towards them.

Another aspect that social media sites have heightened in relationships is jealousy. Being

able to get a form of temptation 24 hours out of the day, can bring a sense of uneasiness to your

partner. This is a problem that is growing, and has made it harder to have a serious relationship

in current time. Even though, this can bring out the green monster, it also can form a special

bond. From being drawn at all times during the day, it can create a form of trust that would not

be there if there was no offer initially.

A relationship formed today, compared to 50 years ago, has many different sides to it but

in reality, goes back to the core values. Trust, honesty, and attraction. Social media sites have

made these basic concepts more challenging to relationships, but it is another factor that society

must evolve with. As well as, showing its effect on an individual and how much it can change

our views on relationships and ourselves; going back to changing our views on those core values.
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Literature Review

Monitoring Behavior in Relationships:

In the article, Social Networking Sites in Romantic Relationships: Attachment,

Uncertainty, and Partner Surveillance on Facebook, discusses the different ways someone can

learn about an individual, and the easiness social media sites have provided to monitoring a

person, and seeing their interest. They discuss the different ways to interact through social

networking sites such as posting messages on each other’s profiles, searching a partner’s

extended network of friends, examine a partner’s history of post and pictures, and becoming

‘Facebook official.’. They explain, how someone may go through mutual friends to gain

information, or watch from afar – seeing how they interact with others, or go on to social media

sites to see the individual’s common uses. They discuss Tokunaga’s identification of the four

characteristics of social networking sites that promote interpersonal electronic surveillance (IES).

First, the easiness in accessing information. Secondly, there are multiple medias one can post,

giving the user access to different information. For example, a picture compared to a written

post. Next, how social networking sites are an archive of a person’s life. Lastly, being in close

proximity is unnecessary, letting one access information anywhere.

A Person’s Presence on Social Networking Sites:

While most of society is on a social networking site, there activity on the application

differs. In the article, The Role of Social and Parasocial Relationships on Social Networking

Sites Loyalty, it discusses the relations of a parasocial relationship and interpersonal relationship,

and social behavior. Three ways a parasocial relationship resembles an interpersonal relationship

are how each relationship are voluntary in nature, they both provide a form of companionship,
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and social attraction is a prerequisite. Showing, parasocial relationships form between people

who are members of the same group, or have similar backgrounds.

Next, the role of social relationships. Social relationships refer to the sum of the social

interactions between people over time that can be positive or negative. It goes on to state the

positive aspects a social relationship may bring to a person. First, giving a person a sense of

identity, deterring them from feeling as if they were isolated. Also, the help of socializing online

can help a user deal with difficult and stressful situations better, then if they were to discuss in

person.

The last article I chose to explore a person’s presence online was, Why Men and Women

Continue to Sue Social Networking Sites: The role of gender differences. They discussed the

different affordances each gender gained from using social networking sites. First, they look at

each gender social norm. By an early age, girls are expected to be social and nurturing, while

boys are expected to be independent and assertive. But by looking at the belongingness theory,

both men and women are actively seeking a need for social connection, through different

strategies and criteria. Through the gender theory of self-construal, they look at what each gender

expects to help self-enhancement. Women tend to be motivated by maintaining close ties, getting

social information, and by relational uses. While men are driven by obtaining general

knowledge.

Relationships in Youth:

In the article, Youth and Intimate Media Cultures: Gender, Sexuality, Relationships, and

Desire as Storytelling Practices in Social Networking Sites, it explores different studies

pertaining to adolescent’s perspective towards social networking sites. It examines how young

people consider online spaces an important part of their performances of intimacy, and thus are
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continuously balancing what they make public or private. For example, making a romantic

relationship public through a social networking site. Also, how young people present themselves

through social networking sites, and create an identity. Focusing on a picture, showing how a

picture can be used to judge if a person is authentic or not. By expressing oneself, but also

performing and promoting your real, authentic, self is the identity the younger audience

identifies as self-representation in social networking sites.

The next article brought to light, discusses two previous studies done on adolescent’s

romantic relationship. In, Exploring the Role of Social Networking Sites within Adolescent

Romantic Relationships and Dating Experience, they explored the characteristics discussed in

both studies. One of the similarities was the importance younger people had with sharing of

passwords. Both studies noted that teenagers regarded password sharing as a sign of trust and of

a committed relationship and that monitoring each other’s social networking sites was common

among men and woman.

Social Networking Sites:

In the article by Daria J. Kuss and Mark D. Griffiths, they discuss, Social Networking

Sites and Addiction: Ten Lessons Learned. They observe the claims made by others that believe

social networking sites meet the basic human needs discussed in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. In

Maslow’s hierarchy, it is broke into different sectors. First, safety needs. These are met by social

networking sites being customizable with regards to privacy. Next, the associative needs are met

by letting users to ‘follow’ or ‘friend’ their peers. The need to estimate is fulfilled by users being

able to obtain ‘likes’, and compare themselves to others. Lastly, the need for self-realization is

fulfilled by presenting oneself in a way the person wants to be presented. From this relation to
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Maslow’s hierarchy they believe it to be the reason social networking sites are popular in today’s

society.

The benefits of social networking sites have been debated since social networking sites

emerged. In the article, The Social Side of Sustainability: Well-being as a Driver and an

Outcome of Social Relationships and Interactions on Social Networking Sites, shows the benefits

and contradictions. Through analyzing data from 2003 and 2011, they found for each minute of

online leisure time led to a decrease in socializing by .05 minutes. Also, by taking a look at

Facebook users over a fourteen-day period, they examined the impact social networking sites

have on a person’s well-being. Although, they were able to see the negative effects, there were

also some positive reattributes as well.

Some highlights from social networking site usage was from having the ability to be

social most of the day, it added to a person’s psychological well-being, in addition to

intensifying one’s life satisfaction. Lastly, it stated that when a user is focused on close friends it

will enhance their own self-esteem, compared to someone focused on the quality of their social

network.

The last article, A Critical Consideration of Social Networking Sites’ Addiction Potential,

discusses how social networking sites may be considered addictive, but are also looked at as

problematic. They acknowledge how in the eighties, 65-70% of adults believed that TV was

addictive, but only a few considered themselves addicted. They correlated this to teens and social

networking sites. Younger generations use the word ‘addiction’ in passing making it have a less

significant impact when used. While addiction in most cases is used in a more serious tone, from

using it so vaguely, it does not mean that people are addicted to social networking sites because

they will dedicate more time to the application; but instead is considered problematic.
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Research Question: How does social networking sites improve or destroy relationships?

Variables

Dependent Variable: Effect social networking sites have on one’s romantic relationship

Independent Variable: Social networking sites

Methodology

For my research question, the effect social networking sites have on improving or

destroying relationships, I will be using a quantitative approach. From this research method, I am

able to reach a wide range of couples varying in age, and be able to compare my findings with

others who have conducted similar research.

When conducting my research, I will be giving a series of questions my participants can

answer online. The questions I asked my participants included nine multiple choice, and five

open-ended questions for them to fill-in. I hope by giving my participants the option to express

themselves, it will not limit them to the multiple-choice answers, but let them freely express their

own opinions. Some of the multiple-choice questions were, “Do you trust your significant

other’s online activity?” and offered the options, yes-trustworthy, maybe-uncertainty, and no-

untrustworthy. Another question asked was, “Would you say the impact of social media sites on

your relationship was mostly positive or mostly negative?” with the options, positive, negative,

or had no impact on my relationship. For open-ended questions, participants were asked

questions like, “What is the most you have done, in changing your relationship because of social

media?”, and asking how often they compare their relationship to others through social media.

When researching this topic, I found a multitude of studies done on adolescents, college

students, and the relationship between child and parent. This brought the curiosity to surface, of

does growing up in different eras effect someone’s outlook on relationships and social
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networking sites. This led to the decision of using relationships in three different age cohorts.

First, the millennial generation and generation Z. Generation Z, is the newest age cohort of them

all, and includes anyone born in 1997 and up. I only gave this survey to people above the age 18,

because from recent research it shows relationships that start before 18, are not deemed as

significant and long lasting. Since this age cohort is only including a couple of years in it, I also

included the millennial generation; Making the first age cohort participants between the ages 18-

35. Next, generation X, ages 35 to 50. Lastly, the Baby Boomer Generation, ages 51 to 69. I

chose to stop my population at 69 years of age because the last two generations, only make up

about 13 percent of adult population, and are not as likely to use social networking sites. While

the baby boomer generation is still considered more mature, they are still young enough to be on

social networking sites and be able to pick up new tricks.

In order to obtain enough couples from each age group, I decided to share this survey

with couples I personally knew, that were able to have access to the questionnaire through an

online link to Qualtrics. The survey was shared through text, and was kept anonymous to respect

the participant’s relationship, as well as in hopes to get answers that are more honest. To identify

my gathered data once collected, Qualtrics provided answers given by participants. Using charts

and statistics I was able to further analyze the answers.

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Participants

- The objective was to survey at least 5 couples within each age cohort.

- Couples that are active on social networking sites.

- Couples within the United States.

Sampling Procedure

- Distributed through an anonymous online link through text message.

- Convenience sampling: data collection from members who are willing to participate due

to time restriction

Data Collection

- Fourteen questions will be asked through Qualtrics; nine multiple choice, five open-

ended.

- Only survey targeting couples ranging from the age 18-69.

- Participants in different stages within their relationship (i.e. married,

boyfriend/girlfriend).
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Findings

A total of 34 participants answered the survey;14 people ranged from the ages 18-34, 10

people ranged from the ages 35-50, and

10 people ranged from the ages 51-69.

The biggest group to take the survey were

participants from the millennial

generation. The most popular social

networking site was Instagram with 22

users, followed by Facebook with 8 users, and YouTube with 4 users. Out of the 34 participants,

44.12% use social networking sites

for about an hour a day, and

44.12% for two to three hours.

Also, when looking at the

difference of social networking site

usage between genders, majority of

men said they use these applications two to three hours a day, while majority of women stated to

use social networking sites for an hour a day. Participants were also asked what stage their

relationship was currently in with the options, married, been together for 7+ years but do not

have an official marriage license, engaged, boyfriend/girlfriend, or single. Split evenly,

50% claimed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, with

50% being in a marriage. Lastly, participants were

asked how serious they were about the relationship

they were in currently. They had the options to rate

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it on a scale of 1 to 10, with majority choosing 10, there was a mean of 9.29, showing almost all

relationships in the study were considered serious. From the results above, it showed the

significance within a person’s everyday life. From this I wanted to see how social networking

sites impacted a relationship either positively or negatively.

First, I asked whether the participant felt social networking sites had a positive or

negative impact on their relationship. As well as, if participants trust their significant other on

social networking sites. Almost all participants deemed their significant other trustworthy, with

one participant choosing maybe, having some uncertainty. While, all participants trusted their

significant other, 8 participants said it has had a negative impact on their relationship, 7 said it

had a positive impact, and the remaining 18 stated to have no impact on their relationship.

Although most participants stated

social networking sites to have no

impact on their relationship, I was

curious to see what impact it has

had on their behavior on social networking sites.

Lastly, when looking at the age cohort, 18-35, 50% of participants stated to changing

their behavior. Many of the answers received were, “stop following an ex”, and, “not liking other

dude’s photos”. Another question asked was how often they monitor their significant others

social media profile. Looking at the results above, one can see most people stated to trusting their

significant other, but 81.25% participants between the ages 18-35, admitted to checking their

significant others profile. With 100% of the participants between the ages 36-50, admitting to

checking it, and 40% of participants checking their significant others profile between the ages

51-69.
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Discussion

The data collected agreed with the academic scholars in my literature review. Looking at

my literature review, Ouystel, Gool, Walrave, Ponnet, and Peters, discusses the significance of

trust. Looking at sharing passwords as a form of trust. My findings agreed with this, that trust is

a major aspect within a relationship, by sharing passwords with one another, it forms a new sense

of trust and makes uncertainty diminish. Also, looking at how the different genders value social

networking sites. Krasnova, Veltri, Eling, and Buxmann observe the different characteristics

each gender is naturally drawn too and what they deem important. This is shown through my

research by looking at the results from participants. When men were asked to leave any

additional comments, most stated that these applications have made their significant other more

jealous. A male participant stated, “It doesn’t affect it too much, but definitely adds to some

uncertainty and being jealous on her end.” While women are looked at as nurturing and caring.

This related back to my research by most women participants stating an emotional pull towards

conflict within their relationship. A female participant stated, “It takes up a lot of time when you

can be spending quality time together.”

From my findings, we can also conclude there is always some sort of minor impact from

social networking sites. Whether that is uncertainty within oneself, or not trusting one’s partner,

or being the root of conflict. While most couples stated to have no impact from social

networking sites, when asked if they would change anything within their relationship due to

social networking sites, majority responded with some sort of changing statement. From this we

can see that while the change may be a small act, it is still some sort of change that we should be

aware of. Looking at the impact social networking sites have on strong relationships, we should

be aware of the growing popularity social networking sites have opposed on society, specifically
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within younger generations. This research helped recognize the areas in which people feel

effected by social networking sites. Also, how these applications can test a relationships trust, by

looking at how they interact with others through social networking sites, access to accounts, and

monitoring each other’s profiles.

When conducting this research, it brought to mind a couple different questions. Since this

study was strictly with participants in relationships currently, I feel it made their answers shift to

showing how strong their relationship is now, instead of looking at if there was any issues or

uncertainty within the relationship. With that said, I think it would be interesting to look at

couples who have separated, and see if there was any influence from social networking sites. If

this study was to be conducted, I would change a couple aspects of the study. First, I would want

to make almost all questions open-ended, besides questions about a person’s demographics. I

found, by putting the open-ended questions, participants answered with more detail, and was able

to say exactly what had happened; instead of being limited to answers already provided. Also, I

would like to ask a couple more questions such as, what reason do you use social networking

sites for? Or, when using social networking sites, has it ever effected your outlook on yourself?

Please explain. From these, I believe it could give a better insight on why a person can justify

certain actions through a social networking site involving their relationships. Also, I think it

would be interesting to see these aspects within a younger generation. Looking at romantic

relationships in adolescents, I think it would be interesting to see the difference in actions and

concerns. Since the younger generation has grown up with social networking sites, it is

understandable to see why they value these applications. By studying a couple who are together,

and ones who have broken up, I wonder how big of an effect social networking sites have on

these young participants.

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Conclusion

With social networking sites becoming extremely popular in today’s society I knew

researching something with social networking sites would not only be beneficial to the reader,

but also to myself. After, brainstorming multiple topics I chose social networking sites and

romantic relationships. As part of the research, the data collected allowed me to analyze what

features in social networking sites, affect a romantic relationship. As well as, letting me explore

the differences between generations, and genders. My findings showed that while all couples

trusted there significant other, there was always a sense of uncertainty from either side.

Therefore, suggesting that social networking sites are a big factor in negatively affecting

relationships, supporting my research question. Looking at the different age cohorts, social

networking sites had the most effect on the millennial generation, but still had some effect on the

other age cohorts as well. Likewise, women valued quality time with their significant other,

saying how social networking sites created issues by taking away time with each other. While,

men stated social networking sites created jealousy within their relationships. Creating conflict

over the amount of using a social networking sites.

Limitations

Due to this being conducted over a short amount of time, it made the project have

limitations on its data collection. I believe the method of choice was appropriate, but if was

conducted again, I would like to make all questions open-ended. Also, from having a limited

time to conduct the research, the number of participants was limited to people I personally knew.

From this, it made me consider if I was able to conduct random sampling, how the results would

differ. Lastly, location was my last limitation. Most of my participants were from California and

Hawaii, two very democratic states. If I was able to open this survey to anyone, I would like to
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see how location plays as a factor in a person’s perspective with social networking sites and

relationships.
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References

Carbonell, X., & Panova, T. (2017). A critical consideration of social networking sites’ addiction
potential. Addiction Research & Theory, 25(1), 48-57.

De Ridder, Sander, & Van Bauwel, Sofie. (2015). Youth and Intimate Media Cultures: Gender,
Sexuality, Relationships, and Desire as Storytelling Practices in Social Networking
Sites. Communications: The European Journal of Communication Research, 40(3), 319-
340.

Fox, J., & Warber, K. (2014). Social networking sites in romantic relationships: Attachment,
uncertainty, and partner surveillance on facebook. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social
Networking, 17(1), 3-7.

Krasnova, Veltri, Eling, & Buxmann. (2017). Why men and women continue to use social
networking sites: The role of gender differences. Journal of Strategic Information
Systems, 26(4), 261-284.

Kuss, D., Griffiths, M., & Tchounwou, P. (2017). Social Networking Sites and Addiction: Ten
Lessons Learned. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public
Health, 14(3), International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2017,
Vol.14(3).

Munzel, A., Meyer-Waarden, L., & Galan, J. (2018). The social side of sustainability: Well-
being as a driver and an outcome of social relationships and interactions on social
networking sites. Technological Forecasting and Social Change, 130, 14.

Tsiotsou, R. (2015). The role of social and parasocial relationships on social networking sites
loyalty. Computers in Human Behavior, 48, 401-414.

Van Ouytsel, Van Gool, Walrave, Ponnet, & Peeters. (2016). Exploring the role of social
networking sites within adolescent romantic relationships and dating
experiences. Computers in Human Behavior, 55, 76-86.
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Appendix:

Survey Questionnaire:

1. How often do you use social media sites a day?

 About an hour, a day

 2-3 hours

 3-5 hours

 5 or more hours

2. Which do you use the most? (Pick all that apply)

 Instagram

 Twitter

 Facebook

 Snapchat

 YouTube

 Other (Please Specify)

3. How often do you compare your relationship to those on social media?

4. Do you have access (i.e. passwords) to your partner’s social media sites?

5. How often do you visit your partner’s social media profile(s)?

 Once a day

 2 times a day

 3 times a day

 4 times a day

 5 times a day or more

If more than 5 please specify:

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6. Relationship Status:

 Married

 Legally married (been together for 7+ years but do not have an official marriage

license)

 Engaged

 Boyfriend/girlfriend

 Single

7. Age/Gender:

8. Do you trust your significant other’s online activity?

 Yes, trustworthy

 Maybe, Uncertainty

 No, untrustworthy

9. Thinking about your current relationship, would you say social media sites have had a

major impact on your relationship, minor impact, or no impact at all?

 Major

 Minor

 None

10. Would you say the impact of social media sites on your relationship was mostly

positive or mostly negative?

 Positive

 Negative

 Had no impact on my relationship

11. On a scale from 1-10, how serious are you about your current relationship?
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12. What is the most you have done, in changing your relationship because of social

media?

13. At what point (if ever) did social media sites start to affect your relationship?

 Never

 From the beginning

 1-2 months

 3-5 months

 6-8 months

 9-11 months

 1 year+

 Other:

14. Additional comments about social media and your relationship: