Is Your Behavior Holding You Back?

May 21, 2015

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Q. Are there any right or wrong behaviors?

A. No! There are only wrong attitudes which affect the behaviors.

Q. Is there a 'best' behavior for leadership or sales?

A. Yes! There's a parameter of behavior which has proven to produce the best performance from
both the leader and the people the leader is inspiring; and for successful salespeople.

In fact, there is a parameter of behavioral traits, for every job or career discipline, which allows
success more easily.

Let me explain:

A behavior is the way we tend to behave in given circumstances. There are four main behaviors
we all have, in varying degrees, which determine how we behave in given circumstances, which
affects our impact on other people, and therefore, our success (always bearing in mind the 80/20
rule):

Dominance: How we respond to problems and challenges. Examples:-

 Demanding
 Decisive
 Dogmatic
 Determined
 Direct
 A doer

Influence (Influence): How we respond to people and contacts. Examples:-

  Enthusiastic
 Impressive
 Impressionable
 Charming
 Persuasive
 Inspiring

Steadiness: How we respond to pace and consistency. Examples:-

 Stable
 Relaxed
 Passive
 Patient
 Predictable
 Consistent

Compliance and conscientiousness: How we respond to procedures and constraints, set by

others. Examples:-

 Careful
 Considerate
 Cautious
 Competent
 Accurate
 Precise

Please be aware that when I give information like this, there is always an 80/20 rule, and
behavior is no exception. For example, dominant men are the only men who are likely to wear
bright red ties (80/20 rule allows for the anomalies). Look around and check this out.

You can tell a person's behavior by the way they talk, the way they are (body language, clothing,
adornments), and even the way they write; which means in a short space of time, you can
understand them better. You can understand their strengths and weaknesses, and what emotions
drive them and affect them most.

Consider your own behavior – Would you buy a bright yellow car? (Don’t include classic pale
yellow cars.) Almost all bright yellow cars are bought by highly influential people only. The
segment of people to sell a bright yellow car to, is very small; so when you see an owner of a
bright yellow car, you can almost be certain they have influential behavior, giving you an instant
set of criteria about their behavior and emotions.

Are you a finger-pointer, like the person above? Chances are, you wouldn't even know, because
most of the time, it's an unconscious gesture; one you are not aware of. You might need to ask a
colleague or friend. Then ask yourself if you like being pointed at. Can you see how different
behavioral (unconscious) traits impact on other people. Often, this can hold you back in your
career and relationships.
An attitude is a trait we acquire with our own unique 'map of the world'. From birth, our
experiences in life develop our own unique 'map of the world'. Within those experiences we
develop attitudes towards things.

Example: As a child, you may have been indifferent to spiders; until you met older children who
told you that spider’s bite and can hurt you. Then you began to fear spiders and developed an
attitude towards them, which may meant killing them if they came near you.

Maybe you got bitten by a dog and it was painful. Maybe now your attitude towards a growling
dog is fear. Your behavior will determine now, how you handle the dog.

If you're dominant; you might attack the dog with a stick, or threaten it, to try and frighten it.

If you're influential; you may talk to the dog, to try and soothe it; in other words 'talk your way
out of it'.

If you're steady; you may stand still, or slowly move away from the dog. Easy does it!

If you're compliant and conscientious; you may freeze and stand completely still. You may

Now consider this as a leader, in the way you handle a person you have to reprimand (I don't
advocate you hitting someone with a stick :)).

Your behavior is the way you tend to behave; which then gets driven by your attitude.

There are many 'wrong' attitudes'; but even they are subject to opinions.

There are no right or wrong, good or bad behaviors; just different.

We can adapt our behavior for short periods of time, to represent what we feel is appropriate for
the circumstances.

We can even change our behavior if we want to.

Behavior is visible and audible. We can recognize it by noticing the body language of people,
through movements, gestures, distances, posture and angles. By the way they dress and adorn
themselves. By the way they 'nest' in the office and at home. By the words that they choose to
use in given circumstances.

The leaders which command the best performance from their teams, mostly have influential and
dominant traits. But they also understand their own behavior; their strengths and their
weaknesses. It is similar with salespeople.

They also understand the different behaviors and emotions of other behaviors, who are not like
them, so they can open the door to communication with them.
This allows them to be in control, without it being obvious; to have better understanding,
communicate better, inspire and have better appreciation. It allows them to understand the
emotions of others so they know how others are motivated, and what it takes to inspire other
people.

In sales, it allows a salesperson to be able to create more empathy and sell in a particular way, in
a particular behavioral style, to match the behavioral style of the potential buyer. This creates
more sales.

If you want to become a great leader, or a great salesperson, you need to increase your emotional
intelligence with behavioral and attitudinal knowledge.

So does your behavior fit your career path? Are you in the right, or wrong job? Is it holding you
back? Or is it that, if you understood your behavioral strengths and weaknesses, you could adapt
to any given circumstances?

And yes, if you recognize that there needs to be a change in your behavior, to become more
successful, you CAN change your behavior to become a more effective leader or salesperson.

There is a major criteria though. You have to WANT to!

More complimentary leadership and selling techniques – click here

Glenn Harrison is an international emotionally intelligent trainer and coach of Presentation,

Leadership and Selling Skills. He is an expert in body language and behavioral profiling, and
teaches people to present, lead and sell, from a behavioral point of view, and not just from a
delegates own behavioral style.

www.motivationaltraining.com