THE

DEFENDER
Real people, real news… Defending our citizens with the truth! Sunday, April 7th, 2019 $3.50

BILL NYE THE WALKING DEAD GUY

Bill Nye camp site, introduced himself to
wanted everyone but everyone was not that
something friendly. He spent three days in his tent
different...he trying
wanted a to find
challenge. He a cure
heard what was happening in Atlanta but did
with this Apocalypse and what not, so not
he took the next plane there. He is in find
need of a season 4 for his Netflix show one. He concluded that everyone should
Bill Nye Saves the World. After days leave and pretty much die off. Rick
he found Rick and Daryl stuck in a was then confused on how Bill even got
hole. He helped them get out and they to Atlanta and explained to him that is
just talked about this Apocalypse and what
how they are concerned how the the
walkers are talking now. Bill Nye knew world
as risky as it sounds, he had to go find kind of
one and see for himself. Daryl helped
him find one, killed him and Bill got
some DNA. They took Bill back to their
decided to do. Let them die off, but not the middle of the night and stole his
save us because they think we are plane.
infected or could get others infected.
Once they found that he came here with Written by: Deanna Vann

his own plane, in the middle of the Page #1

night a bunch of them sneaked off in

ARE THE AVENGERS OVER?

We recently spotted
Billionaire Tony stark
fighting Thanos solo. The
battle took place in Time
Square, at around 9
Tuesday night. The fight
took several hours, were it
ended with Thanos,
teleporting to another
dimension. No casualties
were found but several
millions of dollars in
structural damages were
reported. We had time to
ask Tony “Iron Man” Stark
why he was is he alone?
He responded by saying
“I'm Focusing on myself”.
After
seeing
Iron
Man fight solo, we can
only confirm that the
Avengers have broken up.
This comes with the
recent events of Thor’s
alcoholic relapse. There
are several reports that
the god of thunder has
been checked into New
York
Alcoholic
Rehabilitation Center. He
has struggled with his
alcoholic issues since the
death of his nemesis but
loved Brother Loki. When
asked about his relapse,
Thor denied the report
claiming that he control
his liquor. Also, we must
not forget the recent
reports
of the
incredible Hulk’s battle
with depression. It has
now been one year since
Bruce Banner transformed
into the Hulk. Earlier last
month, we had a chance
to asked Bruce Banner
about why he hasn’t
transformed. He stated
“I’m finding my happy
place”. The break up
biggest piece of evidence,
comes from Captain
America. As it is
documented, in military
records, that he has
retired from the armed
services due to PTSD from
World War 2. As Iron Man
being the only healthy
avenger, who can save us
from Thanos? With
speculations that Iron
Man has enlisted the help
of other lesser named
heroes, like Spider-man
and Ant-man, it doesn’t
raise people’s confidence.
How can bugs stop
supreme beings? But
there is hope. With
President Donald Trump’s
recent visit to Wakanda
going well. We can only
hope for a U.S and
Wakanda alliance. The committed group of
Alliance would allow the avengers, are our modern
Black Panther to join our Knights.
side against Thanos. We Written by: Adan Vences Page #2
need peace in the world
and a

JAUGAR ATTACKS PARIS HILTON

Ambulances had to rush to the San Diego Zoo Police later revealed that, when questioned, Hilton
early Saturday appeared astonished that the jaguar attacked,
afternoon after exclaiming, “I love Africa in general, South Africa
reports came in and West Africa. They are both great countries.” In
about a jaguar the aftermath of the attack, the biggest question
attack. Eventually, was what would happen to Bremusa. In a press
it was learned that release Monday morning, zoo officials announced,
none other than “Bremusa will not be put down. All proper security
Paris Hilton, who had been at the zoo on a family features were in place but she is a wild animal.
trip, climbed over the concrete barricade to take a Unfortunately, when those security features are
selfie. Just as she turned her back, the female purposely overridden, she will react accordingly.”
jaguar, named Bremusa Steven Irwin
after an amazon warrior, was later
reached out a paw and asked about
latched on to Hiltons’ his feelings on
arm. Witnesses say the
Hilton was stuck against announcement
the bars of the enclosure, screaming, when none and he stated,
other than Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, “I was stoked
happened to walk by and see the attack. Irwin when I heard the news. The truth is that we will
grabbed the jaguar by its paw and jabbed a pressure never save wildlife by killing it.”
point which unfurled its claws, allowing other By: Takeah Dollison
bystanders to snatch Hilton away from the bars.
ASHTON KUTCHER HAS SUPER POWERS
Ashton Kutcher justice for their
gets into a loved ones who
tragic car have been lost
accident through violent
involving three murders.
other cars and a
Written by: Tiffany San
semi-truck, but miraculously recovers Nicholas
months later with incredible powers to
sense people’s secrets by simply touching
them! Doctors are calling Kutcher’s
newfound abilities as Psychometric! After
gaining these abilities, Ashton Kutcher has Page #3
decided to change career paths from actor
to forensics in hopes of helping people find

CARTER JACOBS MISTRESS

Over the weekend famous NBA star Carter York lifestyle. Jacobs has 2 beautiful
Jacobs was caught out and about with a daughters named Crystal and Sara. Him and
mystery woman. Jacobs was drafted by the his
New York Ruckets in
2008 as the Number 1
draft pick. He's been
selected to 6 all-star games
in 12 seasons. Since being signed to a 5 year
100-million dollar deal over the summer,
wife Carol wed in 2010 and since have been
Jacobs
seen on many red carpets together until as of
has not
late. Carter Jacobs appeared at the ESPYS
been
alone; leaving fans questioning their
able to
relationship status. Sources say the mystery
stay out
woman Carter was caught with over the
of the
weekend was not a new love interest. On
media.
Sunday evening shortly after we broke the
It's been said that the
story of the mystery woman, photos surfaced
Jacobs family hasn't
of Jacobs and the mystery woman dating
had quite been able to
back to 2014. 3 days have passed since news
adapt to the New
broke about this alleged scandal and Carter's
wife Carol has yet to respond publicly.
Could it be shame keeping her from
responding? Only time will tell.
Written by: Tyler Smith

NOW HIRING
Super Heroes wanted! Part time only. Pay negotiable.
Call 773-100-1234
Do you hate society and think you can
Super Villains Needs! make a change? We will fuel your
passion! Call us at 773-666-1000.
Do you have strength and
Looking for weapons skills, but don’t know
how to use them? We can help

Henchmen you! Call us at 702-111-6666.

Henchman can make 6 figures in
one job!

Page #4