I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my

00:02
video coaching newsletter and the topic
00:04
of today's newsletter is going to be is
00:07
she playing me well I've got two
00:10
different emails from two different
00:13
viewers and they've got kind of a bit of
00:16
a similar situation one guy has been
00:20
with his wife for about 15 years which
00:21
is the second email - really short when
00:23
I actually came in while I was working
00:26
on this particular video I thought it
00:30
would be a great addition because the
00:32
first email I'm gonna go through was a
00:33
little bit longer it's more detailed and
00:36
so this particular guy is what you kind
00:40
of get to see is a guy that's beginning
00:43
to date a woman who ends up like the guy
00:46
who's been married for 15 years and is
00:49
having problems with his wife being
00:52
unfaithful so on some level both these
00:55
guys are kind of like am I getting
00:57
played what the hell is going on here so
01:00
with that said I'm gonna go I got a
01:03
quote that I wrote and then when I go
01:04
through the first guy's email and the
01:10
quote says as a man if you don't know
who you are what you want why you want
it and are vague and unclear and your
attentions you will attract women who
will jerk you around and confuse you you
attract how you act if you are too
afraid to stand up for yourself because
you fear losing people from your life
you will attract women and other people
who would treat you like a doormat why
if you don't value yourself and your
time and what you have to offer nobody
else will either

so with that said let's go through the

01:50
dudes first guy's email says Flo I hope
01:56
you're well I love your videos and book
01:58
and I download the e-book and it was and
02:00
continued to be a great and informative
02:03
read however I was dating this girl I've
02:06
known for quite a few years but only
02:08
have just started talking to again
02:10
things start off great cuddles day
02:14
and sex I did not blow up her phone and
02:17
things were going well
02:19
she has just gotten out of a
02:20
relationship a few months back and she
02:22
made it clear she didn't know what she
02:25
wanted and wasn't looking for a
02:28
relationship something that's really
02:31
super important I talked about in my
02:32
book how to be a 3% man is making a good
02:37
selection and everything that is in the
02:40
book is based upon the assumption that
02:42
you're dating a normal happy healthy
02:46
woman who's got her shit together not
02:48
some kind of fucking fruit loop who's
02:51
got a truckload of problems who will say
02:54
one thing and do another because the
02:58
reality is and I've talked about this
02:59
many times in the past and even some of
03:02
the videos I've done recently about what
03:04
constitutes a good woman a good
03:06
candidate for a long-term monogamous
03:08
relationship and which ones are better
03:10
suited for fuck-buddy
03:12
friends-with-benefits sex playmate type
03:14
of relationships and when I see a lot of
03:17
when I do phone sessions with dudes as
03:20
they get into a relationship in a
03:23
situation where they're in essence
03:24
trying to turn a ho into a housewife and
03:27
it pretty much universally doesn't end
03:31
well and so what I do when I'm talking
03:33
these guys is after they tell me a
03:35
situation we go through the background
03:37
of the woman in question I just point
03:41
out the obvious things the without
03:44
sugarcoating it because I'm just always
03:46
gonna tell it like it is because it
03:48
doesn't serve them anybody to blow
03:49
sunshine up their ass because the
03:51
reality is most of the people that are
03:54
writing to me or maybe watching this
03:56
video
03:57
you got enough people in your life
03:58
blowing sunshine up your ass and telling
04:00
you everything's just gonna be fine and
04:02
hunky-dory with enough time if it's
04:04
meant to be it'll be and they see little
04:05
platitudes like that but the reality is
04:08
when you understand people when you
04:09
understand men and women and what
04:11
motivates human beings to do what they
04:14
do they become pretty predictable and if
04:19
you haven't read maybe this is the first
04:21
video of mine your watch and you can
04:22
actually go to my website understanding
04:24
relationships calm and that's
04:25
relationships with an S
04:27
and subscribe to the newsletter and then
04:30
you can read both my books for free 3%
04:32
man and mastering yourself because you
04:36
got to learn the basics you got to learn
04:37
the fundamentals because if you don't
04:40
practice the fundamentals and you just
04:42
because we all tend to project what we
04:44
want onto other people if we have a
04:46
fantasy of the perfect woman and
04:48
physically she matches what we want and
04:50
the attractions really strong we jive
04:53
really well with her right away
04:55
oftentimes pre-qualifying and being
04:59
discerning it just goes right out the
05:01
fucking window and it's not until you're
05:03
several months down the road that you
05:05
recognize that you probably should have
05:06
never gotten too involved with that
05:09
particular woman but by then you're in
05:12
love you're infatuated and the emotions
05:15
are gonna override the logic we litter
05:18
if we literally talk ourselves and do it
05:20
and we make excuses for the other person
05:22
and that's where I can come in to help
05:25
people is that once they tell me the
05:28
brass you know what what's the bottom
05:31
line of what's going on you know I'm
05:33
gonna tell them a harsh reality whether
05:35
they like it or not sometimes people
05:36
don't want to hear it but truth is truth
05:41
it is what it is and then the rest is up
05:45
to the person I'm talking to or in this
05:47
case you the viewer or the listener if
05:50
you're listening to the podcast version
05:52
on iTunes or SoundCloud or Spotify or
05:55
stitcher or any those platforms so he
06:00
says I was dating this girl that I have
06:01
known for quite a few years but have
06:03
only started just started talking to
06:05
again so we say you didn't blow up her
06:08
phone things her gray cuddles date sex
06:10
old everything was awesome she had just
06:13
gotten out of a relationship a few
06:15
months back and she made it clear that
06:17
she didn't know what she wanted and
06:19
wasn't looking for a relationship so a
06:22
woman says I can't remember if a woman
06:24
is just coming out of a relationship
06:25
especially when it's lasted several
06:26
years and they go right into dating
06:29
somebody knew there was really no time
06:31
to get over it the other person and if
06:33
you're a new guy and you think oh this
06:35
is my future ex-wife or my future
06:38
girlfriend or the future
06:40
my children and she was with somebody
06:43
for five years and now she's been single
06:45
for four or five weeks you know her
06:48
emotions are gonna be all over the place
06:50
especially if that guy more than likely
06:52
is still in her life because what
06:55
happens is people men and women both do
06:57
this we end a relationship and then we
06:59
think we're gonna find somebody new
07:01
right away and then within a couple of
07:03
months it doesn't happen and you start
07:05
to become fearful what if I never find
07:08
anybody else again what if this is the
07:09
only woman I'm ever gonna connect with
07:11
the rest of my life on this kind of soul
07:13
level I got a hold onto her and you
07:19
start talking yourself into going back
07:23
well maybe I reacted too harshly
07:26
because as time passes we all tend to
07:29
look through rose-colored glasses and
07:31
think everything was just all great and
07:32
hunky-dory the reality is when you go
07:34
back all those things that turned you
07:36
off they are still there they didn't
07:37
magically change overnight so typically
07:43
when women are saying things like this
07:45
especially when you start dating them
07:46
that I don't know what I want and I'm
07:49
not looking for a relationship but
07:50
they're really trying to say is slow the
07:51
fuck down and something I hammer home a
07:54
lot of my phone sessions is the simple
07:56
the three H formula hang out have fun
07:59
hook up hang out means make a date
08:02
create an opportunity to get together
08:03
have some fun while you're hanging out
08:06
and when the signs are there that she's
08:08
ready to be kissed
08:09
touched then you escalated ultimately
08:12
ending up with you inside of her in the
08:14
bedroom and that's it that's what the
08:16
guy has to focus on and too many guys
08:18
make the mistake because they've seen
08:20
too many movies and sappy TV shows where
08:22
you get a lock and girl down right away
08:23
or all some dudes gonna come along and
08:25
steal her from you and when it's up
08:28
happen is when you behave that way you
08:30
make them feel like they're being
08:32
smothered and remember that teak net
08:34
honk whoa you must love in such a way
08:36
that the person you love feels free and
08:39
for a man it's creating a fun experience
08:41
or every time you get together with a
08:43
woman she's having fun she's laughing
08:44
you're hooking up you having good sex
08:46
and
08:48
she's the one as she falls in love where
08:51
she wants to bond connect and open up to
08:53
receive love that she starts focusing on
08:56
dating and relationship labels and
08:58
that's one things I talk about in detail
08:59
in my book is why you let the woman
09:02
drive that train even though they tell
09:05
you in sappy movies like no you gotta
09:06
tell her girl how you really feel and
09:09
what you really want women go into
09:11
dating with hey let's just see what
09:14
happens let's see if there's some
09:16
chemistry there and they live in the
09:20
moment
09:21
way better than men do and guys are
09:24
focused on the future and what may or
09:26
may not happen instead of living in the
09:28
moment so if you're dating a woman she's
09:31
like I'm not sure what I'm looking for
09:32
I'm not looking for a relationship what
09:34
she's trying to say so fuck down
09:36
don't pressure me don't try to force me
09:38
into a relationship so like I say in the
09:40
book create an opportunity for sex tap
09:42
and hang out have fun hook up that's it
09:43
that's what you're responsible for leave
09:47
the relationship labels and all that
09:49
crap to the woman to decide she'll bring
09:52
it up when she feels ready she'll hint
09:54
she'll talk about it she'll bring it up
09:57
and if she bring it up she's not there
10:00
yet
10:01
it is however she said she could see
10:04
yourself falling hard for me however as
10:08
time went on she would come around to my
10:10
place to hang out quite a few times a
10:12
week and sex would happen most times
10:15
however this is interesting he says
10:18
however we agreed at the start we would
10:20
not see other people and just see each
10:23
other did you both agree to that or did
10:26
you volunteer that and just assume it
10:28
was implied on her part like guys make
10:31
it way too many fucking assumptions when
10:33
they're dating time went on and she no
10:37
longer would let me take her out for
10:39
dates or have fun somewhere so was that
10:42
me if she doesn't want to be seen in
10:43
public like that where you have been
10:45
going out and doing things publicly
10:47
before that tells me that she enjoys the
10:50
sex and the hooking up but she doesn't
10:53
wanna be seen with you because she's not
10:55
feeling it and obviously she's kind of
10:59
controlling it to where she
11:01
comes over and she hooks up and when
11:04
that's over she leaves and her mind
11:08
she's acting not in any way that's gonna
11:11
communicate remember she said she's
11:12
looking for a relationship
11:14
so she's acting consistent with that but
11:18
he agreed to be exclusive right away you
11:23
can remember women have to earn the
11:25
exclusivity they have to earn you guys
11:28
just give that shit away
11:29
they're just automatically thinking
11:31
about what their kids are gonna look
11:32
like and where they're gonna live all in
11:34
first fucking date it's going on in
11:35
their mind when I asked why she said she
11:39
didn't want to go out with me and just
11:41
wanted to stay indoors she's trying
11:45
obviously I would say more than likely
11:47
based on that is that he was probably
11:50
pushing too hard for a relationship he
11:52
was giving off that vibe that he's
11:54
looking at her like a girlfriend or a
11:55
future girlfriend keep mind she just
11:58
broke up with her boyfriend of a few
12:00
months and so she's hanging out with him
12:02
because it's a lot better than staying
12:03
home all by herself and feeling bad
12:05
about the relationship that ended and
12:08
thinking about her ex-boyfriend so in
12:12
this particular way in her mind she can
12:14
kind of keep things slow and not allow
12:17
him to treat her like a girlfriend
12:20
that's why she just comes over his house
12:22
to hang out they have fun they hook up
12:24
and then she leaves but just looking at
12:27
this behavior so far it's obviously he
12:30
was focused on I mean he wrote me about
12:32
this so he was focused more on the
12:35
relationship and therefore he was
12:37
bringing a little too much drama in
12:39
other words there's too many strings
12:40
attached so she tries to minimize the
12:43
risk had given him the impression that
12:45
it's going anywhere
12:48
and this is reality this is what most
12:51
guys do because that's why when you
12:55
start dating a woman you give off too
12:56
much of the vibe that you're looking at
12:58
or as a future girlfriend you're only in
12:59
your first or second date and you're
13:01
trying to lock her down already that's
13:03
what most guys do so women are looking
13:06
for that freedom that's why if you don't
13:09
know what you're doing it's really easy
13:11
to turn a woman off and literally chase
13:12
her right out of your life
13:14
he says anyway he's two months down the
13:16
line and she's been going to dinner with
13:18
other guys but told me she would not
13:20
like it if I dated other girls so you
13:26
say that you both agreed to not see
13:27
other people well sounds like you more
13:30
than likely because I've been doing this
13:32
a long time I've got tens of thousands
13:34
of emails and tens of thousands of phone
13:37
sessions I've done over the last 14 15
13:39
years more than likely you agreed to
13:44
this and you just assumed that she was
13:46
agreeing to it but the reality is look
13:49
at her actions she didn't but and in her
13:54
mind it's like I mean think well this is
13:55
a negotiation you are basically agreeing
13:58
to be exclusive with her and she doesn't
14:01
have to give you that same agreement so
14:04
it's like you're not standing up for
14:06
yourself you're allowing this your
14:08
invite you're tolerating this you put
14:11
the vibe out there that this is okay
14:13
because more than likely you assumed
14:15
that she was gonna be your girlfriend
14:16
and assumed you had a commitment more
14:19
than likely she never really actually
14:20
said she would only be committed to you
14:22
maybe she hinted at it and you just
14:24
jumped all over it and said okay I'm not
14:26
gonna date anybody else but he didn't
14:28
pay attention the fact that she was
14:29
probably a little evasive and didn't
14:33
really say a whole lot about that to
14:36
really give away what her true
14:38
intentions were anyway is the only issue
14:40
we had was every time she got scared
14:42
about her feelings what tells me you're
14:44
focused on her feelings and where you
14:46
stand with her you're constantly looking
14:49
for validation from her that she still
14:51
likes you and wants to be your future
14:54
wants you to be her future boyfriend
14:57
you're focused on feelings you're acting
14:59
like a woman right here
15:00
remember hang out have fun a hookup what
15:03
does I have to do anything about
15:04
feelings when she's in love she'll tell
15:09
you she'll let you know you can see it
15:10
in her eyes she would say she was
15:14
confused and didn't want a relationship
15:15
for a long time it tells me he was
15:17
probably constantly bringing it up and
15:18
she was like no no no no no he knew
15:20
something was off but he really liked
15:22
the girl and wasn't really paying
15:25
attention because he's projecting what
15:26
he wanted onto her and kind of
15:28
knowing the reality of the situation and
15:30
that's how you get heartbroken that's
15:32
how you get fuckin walked all over and
15:34
the fact he was too nice he go he got
15:38
dominated he got treated like a doormat
15:40
I just like the quote I mentioned the
15:42
beginning of the video anyways we call
15:44
it a day because she was dating other
15:46
guys when I wasn't and she said she
15:48
wouldn't like it she said she wouldn't
15:52
like it that was a true statement so you
15:55
took that as meaning okay now she's
15:57
gonna be exclusive she never she
15:59
wouldn't like it she said nothing about
16:01
hey I'm not gonna date other dudes you
16:03
didn't mention that anywhere in the
16:04
email so I'm more than likely that's
16:05
what happened you just assumed that you
16:10
had to be exclusive and exclusivity on
16:12
her part was implied oh she also agreed
16:18
to call it a day because she likes
16:20
someone else sounds like it was her idea
16:24
to call it a day anyway she went and did
16:28
her thing and a week later she asked to
16:30
meet me or meet with me and then
16:32
proceeded to discuss with me that the
16:33
new guy had annoyed her it's not your
16:36
basically a back-up plan and because you
16:38
really liked her you put up with it and
16:40
you were just happy to have her hanging
16:43
out with you so you're allowing this
16:46
girl to walk all over you and you're not
16:48
standing up for yourself and therefore
16:49
you're not worthy of any respect you're
16:51
not worthy of a commitment and besides
16:54
you gave the commitment away without
16:55
really making her earn it and therefore
16:57
since she didn't have to earn it
16:59
she didn't value it what happens when
17:03
you give stuff to people they didn't
17:04
earn they don't really appreciate it we
17:07
tend to appreciate things you really
17:09
have to work for I told her I'm not
17:12
gonna sit here console her about the new
17:14
guy she's seeing well at least he did
17:15
that right so this is what happens guys
17:21
get themselves in this situation and
17:22
they want to date the girl and yet she's
17:24
still dating and sleeping with other
17:25
dudes and now you're kind of like no
17:27
longer sleeping with her and she's
17:28
hanging out she knows she can have you
17:31
any time it doesn't work out with our
17:32
dude and then that's how you end up with
17:34
fucking blue balls and it not going
17:36
anywhere anyway he's a week and a half
17:39
later we meet up again she told me that
17:42
he's no
17:42
around and I told her I missed her and
17:44
she said she missed me
17:45
she didn't proceeded to tell me that she
17:47
was being really picky on tinder boy she
17:50
misses you so much he's just on tinder
17:55
telling you what you want to hear and
17:57
you just lapped it up like a kitty cat
18:00
lapping up milk I said why are you on
18:03
tinder she said well when am I gonna
18:06
meet when am I gonna meet someone
18:08
face-to-face the reason she's on tinder
18:15
is that you're just kind of like a
18:17
placeholder for now you're a break glass
18:19
in case of emergency dude in her life
18:21
she said it rarely happens I said to her
18:24
you met someone face-to-face once
18:27
outside your work meeting me and she
18:29
smiled so attention he's he's seeking
18:33
her validation he's seeking her approval
18:35
hey remember me you met me like that
18:39
don't you want to date me this
18:45
communicates that you're sitting around
18:46
waiting on her instead of living your
18:48
life focusing on your mission purpose
18:50
and allowing her to reach out and hang
18:53
out have fun hook up and not stressing
18:55
about it or worrying about it but
18:58
instead you're focused unlocking her
19:00
down like a woman you're acting like a
19:03
woman and she's acting like a man and
19:05
different and I'm sure taking her time
19:08
she smiled and I told her I miss her and
19:12
I want her to start I wanted to start
19:15
seeing her again so therefore I want a
19:18
strings attached a relationship she just
19:20
started getting in touch with you she
19:22
said maybe when a woman says maybe it
19:24
means new then later on and the message
19:30
she said she didn't know she knows she
19:34
just doesn't want to sit member we I did
19:35
a video last week what I don't know
19:37
really means she knows she just doesn't
19:39
want to say cuz she doesn't want to hurt
19:40
your feelings and she does want to
19:41
create drama because she knows that
19:43
you're probably not gonna go along with
19:44
it is she a fuck girl well you're kind
19:50
of enabling her behavior dude I mean
19:54
you're trying to
19:55
to date this girl and turn her into
19:57
relationship material meanwhile she's on
19:58
tinder you know burning up her phone and
20:01
her fingers swiping left and right and
20:03
you've put your life on hold and it's
20:05
like you're like a dude standing at the
20:07
altar waiting for her to decide to come
20:09
and marry you instead of just hanging
20:11
out and fun hooking up and that's why
20:13
she's leaving leaving you there my gut
20:16
is telling me that she is well again
20:19
you're enabling her behavior by the way
20:21
you're behaving
20:22
remember no one will ever do or say
20:23
anything to you that you don't invite
20:25
them to do she knew exactly where she
20:29
stood with you at all times she didn't
20:31
have to earn you at all and therefore
20:33
she didn't value or appreciate you
20:35
because you quite frankly you don't
20:36
value or appreciate your time and what
20:38
you have to offer she used to say weird
20:42
things like I'm not good for you
20:45
I'm not faithful in relationship check
20:49
please right there I'm not faithful in
20:52
relationships
20:53
that is not something that you just
20:55
fucking gloss over it'll be alright man
20:57
it's cool you're good you're good it's
21:00
alright I'll be different I'm the guy
21:04
it's gonna change her you hear that it's
21:08
like that means fuck buddy friends with
21:09
benefits
21:10
sex playmate that's it it's not
21:12
girlfriend or wife material at all I
21:14
told you right there that she isn't
21:15
value monogamy and exclusivity and at
21:19
the end of the day when she says she
21:20
used to say weird things like I'm not
21:22
good for you what that means is you're a
21:25
really nice guy and I'm gonna break your
21:27
heart cuz you're a fucking beta male and
21:28
you know what you deserve it she knows
21:33
she's jerking you around but you're
21:36
putting up with it you're tolerating it
21:38
so it's like when I'm doing a phone
21:40
session the guy and he tells me shit
21:42
like that I'm gonna hold on dude we got
21:46
pump the brakes a little bit here that
21:49
girl is never gonna be faithful to you
21:51
or any other dude and anytime you just
21:54
dismiss that and go out I'll be fine
21:56
you're gonna get burned I learned the
21:58
hard way I wrote about in my book and
22:00
I've seen it thousands and thousands of
22:02
times you can't turn a ho into a
22:04
housewife just treat her the way she is
22:07
as a fuck buddy friend
22:09
benefits that's it don't make the
22:11
mistake of getting all motion here apt
22:12
up in her she can't give you what she
22:15
wants she doesn't value it she doesn't
22:16
appreciate it it means that when she's
22:18
happy she'll probably be faithful and
22:20
when she's not she's gonna be dicking
22:23
around with other dudes so that's her
22:25
nature who could she possibly have
22:27
learned it from obviously your
22:29
environment also she told the guy in
22:34
tinder that she was looking for
22:35
something serious now she may be telling
22:37
herself that because that's what society
22:39
says but if you look at her actions
22:41
she's not capable of that and she knows
22:42
that she doesn't value it her words and
22:49
her actions do not match but when she
22:52
was seeing me she kept saying she wasn't
22:54
looking for anything serious cuz she
22:56
could tell that you were and you were
22:57
trying to force things in that direction
22:58
I called her out on it and asking her if
23:02
she was looking for something serious
23:03
again you're just so focused on locking
23:06
this girl down she's just not capable of
23:10
giving you the kind of relationship you
23:11
want this is where pre-qualification
23:13
comes in this is where the things I
23:16
talked about in the video good women
23:18
that I did a few weeks back I'm gonna
23:22
have a good relationship with their mom
23:23
especially their dad their parents are
23:24
faithful or together their teammates
23:27
girls that grew up in that kind of
23:29
environment they learn to value that
23:30
they see how a healthy relationship is
23:32
supposed to work but little girls that
23:35
grow up in families were mom or dad or
23:38
both of them are cheating on each other
23:40
and they continually cheat on each
23:41
other's future second and third spouse
23:43
and boyfriend and girlfriend it's they
23:46
don't value it they learn to be selfish
23:48
they learn to be unsure they learn to be
23:50
scared they don't know who to trust they
23:52
think everybody is like that and like I
23:56
said those kind of people are faithful
23:57
when things are going well and when
23:59
things are not you can't be surprised
24:01
that they're talking to other other
24:03
people I just feel like she's keeping me
24:05
on a string for attention when she wants
24:07
it or a backup yeah you're pretty
24:09
accurate that's the truth I need some
24:12
perspective on this don't call her don't
24:15
text you anymore if you hear from her
24:17
invite her over to your place to make
24:18
dinner together or just to hang out I
24:20
wouldn't leave your house or go anywhere
24:22
with her
24:23
I mean that was what she preferred
24:24
before anyways hang out have fun and
24:26
look up in the meantime if you want a
24:27
girlfriend or a future wife
24:29
that's grilling it it's just you know
24:31
it's not in the cards I mean that's
24:35
that's reality and you can ignore
24:38
reality but you can't ignore the
24:39
consequences of ignoring reality she has
24:41
a lot of guys on social media and used
24:43
to say to me that she just wants
24:45
attention obviously that's the hallmark
24:47
of a girl who didn't get enough
24:48
attention from her dad she had no father
24:52
figure to teach her a healthy balanced
24:54
way to be a good woman is she playing me
24:58
and trying to keep me on the side for
25:00
when she clicks her fingers well you've
25:02
pretty much communicated constantly
25:05
since the beginning that you're cool
25:07
with that so I I've read the book 10 to
25:12
15 times I'd get out there and start
25:14
dating and just admit to yourself and be
25:17
honest for yourself I'm sure you can
25:18
have fun and the sex is probably great
25:19
but don't take her out
25:21
just let her couldn't let her get in
25:23
touch and when she gets in touch assume
25:25
she wants to see her and fight her over
25:26
to your place hang out have fun and hook
25:27
up she can stay the night or not really
25:29
doesn't matter don't ever make the
25:32
mistake especially even if she starts to
25:34
fall for you of agreeing to be in a
25:36
relationship with a woman like this
25:38
because if you do let's fast forward 15
25:43
years let's just imagine we have a time
25:46
machine and here's a guy the second
25:49
email the guy it's in a situation of
25:51
this is where you end up if you just
25:53
ignore things like this hey coach I just
25:57
found your stuff thank you for
25:59
everything you do I have a question for
26:01
you my wife of 15 years left me several
26:03
months ago for another man that affair
26:07
is over now but she still sees other men
26:09
and always comes over for sex and asked
26:11
me out on dates hang out have fun hook
26:16
up it's a simple formula I truly love
26:19
her but I can't suffer her bullshit
26:21
anymore I'm afraid that if I just drop
26:24
her like I should there would never be a
26:26
chance to keep my family together I
26:29
would say based on her actions it's
26:32
probably better suited to having an open
26:34
relationship
26:36
because you've seen that she doesn't
26:39
value your marriage vows they don't mean
26:41
shit to her
26:43
monogamy exclusivity doesn't mean shit
26:45
to her I'll use look at how she left you
26:47
for another guy I'm sure you love her
26:51
and you care about her she's the mother
26:52
of your children but the reality is she
26:55
isn't value exclusivity and monogamy so
26:59
let her reach out just like I told the
27:02
first guy let her reach out to you make
27:04
a date hang out have fun and hook up if
27:07
she wants to get back together and be
27:08
exclusive just keep in mind next time
27:10
you fuck up she'll be fucking somebody
27:12
else that's reality you know I wish it
27:15
was different but I look at her actions
27:16
and her actions show me that she didn't
27:19
care so I mean you could be great for
27:21
five years but you start slacking off
27:23
again maybe you get busy with work maybe
27:25
you stop going to the gym things get
27:27
crazy next thing you know you'd gain
27:28
twenty thirty pounds in a matter of
27:30
months you know I'd have them sex very
27:32
often you're away on a business trip and
27:35
you kind of sniping at each other on the
27:37
phone when you're talking one night and
27:40
you hang up and she's mad at you you're
27:43
kind of mad at her and then you know she
27:45
walks outside maybe take the garbage out
27:47
or whatever and your next-door neighbor
27:48
was like hey when a beer she goes over
27:52
and has a beer and oops it just happened
27:56
she just happened to sleep with your
27:57
next-door neighbor that's what it is
28:01
that's reality so you have to decide
28:05
well I mean if you're you could be the
28:08
best husband in the world as long as
28:09
your game is tight and you're taking
28:11
care of things you should be taken care
28:12
of she'll probably be faithful but when
28:14
you're not and when things aren't going
28:15
well this is what you got this is you
28:19
know like the first guy's email this is
28:20
your future if you date somebody like
28:23
the previous guy was dating he says I
28:26
know that she loves me and I love her
28:28
but she's totally mine fucking me any
28:30
advice would be appreciated well again
28:32
don't try to turn a hole into a house
28:33
like like I said in the beginning with
28:36
the other guy's email let her reach out
28:38
hang out have fun and hook up I mean you
28:40
gotta admit to yourself and be honest
28:42
okay I married a woman who doesn't value
28:44
monogamy exclusivity communication
28:47
commitment doesn't mean anything I mean
28:48
she left you
28:49
another guy you allowed her to come back
28:52
so that communicates that you're gonna
28:54
forgive her and you're cool with that
28:56
but if I were you and you want to stay
29:01
together or you want to keep your family
29:02
together if you will its she's just
29:06
better suited for an open type of
29:08
relationship and you're gonna decide you
29:10
don't understand when things are going
29:12
well she'll probably be faithful and
29:13
when things aren't and the reality is
29:15
longer and the more years sure to be
29:17
gather together like the you know decade
29:19
after decade I'm you're gonna slip up
29:20
everybody does me all guys do at some
29:23
point we get busy we get caught up and
29:24
work and when you're onner when you're
29:27
married or in a relationship with
29:28
somebody does a value exclusivity or
29:29
monogamy you shouldn't be surprised when
29:32
they cheat on you or leave you for
29:33
somebody else but things didn't work out
29:36
the other dude so what happens she wants
29:37
to come back to you because she knew
29:39
you'd probably forgive her for it so
29:42
it's like I said you can stay in the
29:45
relationship you can stay in the
29:47
marriage but this next time you slip up
29:49
this is this is a prediction this is a
29:55
what's the word
29:56
foreshadowing this is this is what
29:58
you're gonna get when you fuck up
30:00
she's got cheat on you and you got a
30:02
side whether you're cool with that I
30:06
can't make the decision for my job as
30:08
coach is to help you achieve your
30:10
outcome but you know it's also to give
30:12
you a real dose of fucking realism which
30:15
is she doesn't care she doesn't value it
30:17
even if she says she does and it'll
30:19
never happen again
30:20
I don't want it'll happen when she's not
30:22
happy that's reality and you're gonna
30:25
side whether you can live with that or
30:27
not whether you can live with a woman
30:28
who will cheat on you when she's not
30:30
happy and if you can't well then
30:33
obviously your only choice is to end the
30:35
marriage and move on to find somebody
30:38
who values exclusivity but like I said
30:40
it's your life it's your family she's
30:41
your wife
30:42
it's just you know now you know what
30:44
you're dealing with now the decision is
30:47
on you either way I want you to be happy
30:51
I want you to have what you want but you
30:53
just a woman like this just like the you
30:55
know the first email that's what happens
30:57
you get a guy who's dating a girl that
30:59
was screwing around with other dudes and
31:01
cheating on him and
31:02
here's this guy 15 years his wife
31:04
literally left them for another man it
31:06
didn't work out because think about from
31:07
the other dudes perspective why would
31:09
you want to get involved in this messy
31:10
situation she's got kids with you she
31:12
probably the mortgage obviously you
31:15
don't want to lose your family he's like
31:18
you have to got tired of fucking her for
31:20
a few months you want her anymore he
31:23
wanted to move on to the next thing and
31:25
so whatever needs he was meeting for
31:29
your wife now she's back and you're
31:31
meeting them that's just the way it is
31:34
wish it was different but reality is
31:37
reality so if you'd like to get my help
31:40
personally the quickest way is it go to
31:42
my website click the products tab the
31:44
top of your screen on any page and book
31:46
a coaching session with yours truly and
31:50
until next time I will talk to you soon
31:59
[Music]