Top 10 Badasses of Classic Literature

150 Comments
Share
by Jack W. Simpson

The concept of the badass, while the term itself its a relative neologism, is as
old as time itself. Novelists, poets and playwrights through the ages have
witnessed, and utilized, the appeal of the powerful character of a badass. Here are
some canonical examples. There are overlooked literary badasses, of course. I plan
to submit a sequel to this list, denoting populist literary characters. Think Harry
Potter series, LOTR, etc. If you think I have missed any classic tough guys of note
� do tell!

Disclaimer: I am an agnostic, and do not wish to perpetrate my views in any way.

That is not the purpose of this post. My use of the bible and biblical references
in this text respect it not only as a religious text, but as a work of high art
also.

10
Sherlock Holmes
various Conan-Doyle novels

Holmespic

The original model for the now archetypal �super-sleuth,� Holmes is a master of two
things: deduction, and being hard.

Holmes sports cranial badassery of an unequaled level. A private detective,

Sherlock doesn�t decide which case to take based on prospective profit, risk level
or who happens to ask � he takes the cases that interest and challenge him. He has
been known to draw conclusions from the smallest and most intricate of details,
such as the scratches on the edge of a man�s pocket-watch.

Not only is our first entry a formidable thinker, he is also wondrously proficient
at delivering a beating, as demonstrated in a rather cool slow-mo clip in the
recent blockbuster featuring our subject. He is familiar with pistols, swords,
hand-to-hand combat including martial arts and boxing and singlestick (hitting
someone with a walking stick, apparently).

Finally, there is the matter of the deerstalker. This hunting cap, famously
connoted with the detective, is never, not once, worn by Sherlock Holmes. The
closest he comes is wearing a �close fitting cloth cap� in the Boscombe Valley
Mystery. I�m pleased to clear that up.

Badass rating: 7.4

9
Heathcliff
Wuthering Heights

Heathcliff

One of a few wild cards in this list.

In his younger days, Heathcliff shows signs of being a wuss. Often excluded due to
his difficult nature and the fact he is adopted, he spends more time whining than
anything.
However in his maturity, Heathcliff returns from a long period of absence. He has
made a fortune in said absence (it is hinted he has also been serving time in the
military) and eventually uses it to gain control of the house, and the people, of
his tortured youth. He later beats the crap out of his childhood aggressor,
Hindley, when he locks him out of Wuthering Heights and threatens to shoot him.
Heathcliff loses points for being a wife-beater, and at one point (if memory
serves) he narrowly stops himself from letting a child fall to their death.
However, he gains serious badass points for having only one name.

While admittedly, Byronic hero Heathcliff is not an obvious choice, you must agree:
the 19th century emo does have some enduringly badass, whilst not strictly morally
viable qualities.

Badass rating: 6.6

8
Tybalt
Romeo and Juliet

Tybalt

�Prince of Cats� Tybalt is a major rabble-rouser, making him also quite the badass.

Described by Mercutio as being a seriously good duelist, Tybalts main badass

quality is his fighting talk. He is literally a renaissance Arnie, with quips such
as:

�Peace? I hate the word.

As I hate hell, all montages, and thee.
Have at thee, coward.�

Infuriated by Romeo unintentionally when the young lover gets him in trouble with
his influential uncle at a big shindig, Tybalt does what all badasses do: get
vengeance. He later murders good Mercutio before getting himself seen off by Romeo.

Badass rating: 7.0

7
Hedda Gabler
from the stage-play of the same name

110410Theater

My second wild card.

Hedda is Henrik Ibsen�s creation, a notorious feminist badass. During the play, she
is responsible for as many as three deaths (her own, her unborn child, her ex-
lover�s) over a period of no more than three days.

Similarly to Holmes, she is very fond of firearms. Gabler is known to sit in her
back garden blasting shells from her dead father�s revolvers into the distance out
of boredom, terrifying unsuspecting visitors half to death. Her husband George
often seems terrified of her, and Hedda eventually commits suicide by shooting
herself in the temple. Perhaps a controversial thought, but shooting oneself in the
head arguably requires a high amount of bravery and thus she is awarded extra
badass points.

Badass rating: 7.5

6
Macbeth
from the play of the same name

Polanskifinalhead Small

One of my personal favorite Shakespeares, Macbeth is a play about a general who,

after an encounter with some prophetic witches, decides he is tired of taking a
back seat and is just gonna take the hell over Scotland, using only his �brandished
steel, smoked with bloody execution.�

The warlike Macbeth, albeit with goading from his wife, cunningly invites the king
of Scotland, Duncan, to his house, then casually kills him in his sleep. Regicide?
Badass points awarded. Sneaky behavior? Badass points awarded. Having unrivaled
tough guy talkery? (Once more Shakespeare provides.) Badass points awarded. Being
incredibly violent? (At one point he is described as slicing someone �from the nave
to the chops.�) Badass points awarded.

Macbeth gems:

�I go, and it is done; the bell invites me.

Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell
That summons thee to heaven, or to hell.�

�Lady Macbeth: Are you a man?

Macbeth: Ay, and a bold one, that dare look on that
Which might appall the devil.�

Despite turning into a nihilistic whinge after the death of his wife, and flaking
out when he has hallucinations, Macbeth puts on a great show with every badasses�
dream showdown when the entire rebel army comes to his door. Like a Shakespearean
Tony �Scarface� Montana, our badass goes out in a blaze of not so glorious battle.

Badass rating: 8.9

5
Beowulf
from the epic poem of the same name

Imgbeowulf1

Beowulf is a viking. This instantly guarantees him a badass rating of at least 9.0.

From ripping off the arms of demons, to partying, Beowulf is a legend in its truest
form. Probably our oldest example of a literary badass, the composition of Beowulf
was somewhere between the 8th and 11th century, and is written mostly in Old
English. If you have never tried to read Old English, never try to read Old
English.

You thought Leonidas was a hard-ass for dying in battle with the Persians? Beowulf
died from wounds inflicted by a dragon. And he managed to kill it before popping
his clogs. The badass scale is off the chain!

Badass rating: 9.7

4
Lucifer
various works including Paradise Lost

270Px-Paradise Lost 19

Lucifer is the antichrist.

Look up the term �bad� in the dictionary, and if it is one of those rare
dictionaries with pictures in it, there will be pictures of Lucifer in his various
incarnations plastered all over the word.

Lucifer led a rebellion against God himself. That takes cojones. (At this point I�d
like to reiterate that I do not condone any of these actions, most certainly
leading an army against God.)

Badass rating: 6.66

3
Sir Lancelot
Arthurian legend

Lancelot-4-Ioan-Gruffudd-216180 1400 943

First included in the legend of Arthur by some french bloke long after the stories
initially began doing the rounds.

Lance-a-lot has a weapon. In his name. No more will or needs to be said.

He sleeps with the king�s wife. Because he can.

He found his name under a rock, after winning a fight against initially ten, then
twenty, knights.

He did, however, mellow in later life and became a priest.

Badass rating: 9.1

2
Achilles
notably, but not limited to, Homer�s Iliad

Hector Vs Achilles By Genzoman

Homer�s characters don�t own last names, they are defined by character. Achilles is
often referred to as swift-footed, or godlike. Both are an understatement.

A demigod, Achilles was literally dipped in the river Styx to make him tougher.
Said dipping left him completely invincible save for the part which his mother,
Thetis, held him by while she dipped � his heel.

Later, our tough guy is dispatched by arrow to aforementioned heel giving us our
modern day expression of Achilles heel � point of weakness. This by no means takes
away his ability to kick a lot of ass. As seen in the blockbuster film Troy,
Achilles (Brad Pitt) plays a serious part in the Trojan war, leading his famously
hard company the Myrmidons as part of the Greek army.

After beating one of the Trojans� top fighters Hector in a duel, Achilles drags his
body by chariot in a badass but dishonorable manor, thus losing points.
Badass rating: 9.5

1
Jesus Christ of Nazareth
The Holy Judaeo-Christian Bible

Jesuswearingthethornofcrowns

Jesus Christ, a controversial choice?

In the short 30 odd years of his life, The Messiah exhibited some truly badass
behavior, the most notorious of which is coming back from the dead. No one before
or since has managed such a feat.

Along with Macbeth, Jesus is one of the only badasses on this list who we can
convincingly prove existed, and is worshiped by millions of people worldwide. As
the Savior of human kind (rather nervously do I make this comparison� but, kind of
like a new testament version of the terminator), I Believe the Messiah is well
deserving of top spot in this list.