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What is Sleight-Of-Mouth?
SOM was concretized by the co-developers of NLP, Richard Bandler and John
Grinder and they assembled these persuasive techniques by studying the work of
Milton Erickson, Gregory Bateson, Virginia Satir and Fritz Pearls amongst others.
Following Bandler and Grinder, Robert Dilts, further took their work and
systematized into a schematic that makes it easy to practice, learn and master.
How it works?
Just about every statement that someone makes is not necessarily true, it’s simply
a belief statement.
What you’re going to learn is how to use any of 14 specific patterns to change and
shift the beliefs of others.
I can’t (because)
Only others can
I don’t have time
I don’t have money
I’m not ________ (good enough, etc)
Who Is SOM For?
You’re
What Someone Going To
Believes Challenge
Surface V Deep Structure
Communication
Structure Of Belief
I really like it bu
t I can’t afford it
.
I am looking at bank account
MetaFrame - What is basis of their belief? (What are they really saying?)
Model of the World - Compare their belief to the belief of others (make small).
Intent Consequence
What do you hope to gain Have you considered what
by believing/saying
I can’t afford this is going to cost you
I like it, but
that? it/expensive not to have it?
Redefine
Redefine
It’s not a matter of liking, it’s It’s not a matter of expense, it’s Another Outcome
a matter of needing. a matter of being competitive.
The real issue isn’t
Chunk Down whether or not
Has there ever Metaphor/Analogy
you can afford it,
You can’t afford it?
been a time you Many the real issue is
What specifically are
could not afford times not It seems you want to drive whether or not
you comparing
something and about $ A Ferrari but you want you want to grow
this
you bought it money, it’s about that on a CHEVY your business.
to?
anyway? commitment to budget.
Counter Example Chunk Up
BELIEF EXAMPLE
1) Rapport
2) Tonality
Pattern 1- MetaFrame
A MetaFrame is the underlying belief (real meaning) of the statement or
comment.
What they are really saying: I don’t see value. I don’t see value relative to cost. I
don’t see how/why I need it. It has not been made important to me.
Meta Frame Response: Challenge the basis/foundation NOT the belief itself.
RESPONSE: “So what you’re really saying is that you’re not serious about
growing your business?”
MetaFrame
MEANS
but I can’t
I really like it
afford it.
Causes
So, what you’re really saying is you’re not serious about growing your business
by investing in your ___________.
MEANS
but I can’t
I really like it
afford it.
Causes
Practice
1) I ran out of time today, I don’t have time for the gym.
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