LESSON 5

DOLLARS AND SENSE IN YOUR

MARRIAGE
Selected Scriptures
————————————
In this lesson we encounter the principles for financial success in marriage.
OUTLINE
Credit card debt, keeping up with the neighbors, separate incomes, separate accounts, “my
money” and “your money” instead of “our money”—these are all warning signs for a
marriage headed for financial conflict. The solution? Use God’s principles to manage
money in marriage.
I. God Is Interested in How You Secure Your Money
A. We Recognize God as the Source of Our Money
B. We Refuse to Make Money Our God
C. We Realize That Money Does Not Satisfy
D. We Resort to Work in Order to Supply Our Needs
E. We Rely on the Promises of God
II. God Is Interested in How You Save Your Money
III. God Is Interested in How You Spend Your Money
A. Pay Your Taxes
B. Care for Your Family
C. Be Content with Needs Met
D. Avoid Debt
IV. God Is Interested in How We Share Our Money
V. Conclusions: God Is Interested in How Money Serves Us
A. Master the Principles of God’s Word
B. Manage Your Money as a Couple
C. Make a Commitment to Grow as Stewards
OVERVIEW
It is probably no surprise to you that, when asked about the reasons for their divorce, 85
percent of couples named money as one of the primary factors. In a ten-year study of
married couples, 70 percent reported having money problems. The Scriptures indicate that
money—that is, our ability to be good stewards of it—is one of the chief barometers of
spiritual maturity. Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
(Matthew 6:21).
All of married life is a process of blending two sets of values, and because money is an
instrument for expressing those values, conflicts erupt over money. But the conflicts are
really over values. Couples must confront the clashing of their values in order to find a way
to respect each other individually as well as find a path for the marriage to travel on as well.
God intends for couples to come together over money, not be driven apart. One of Satan’s
chief strategies is to get couples out of fellowship with each other knowing they are likely
then to drift out of fellowship with God.
 Just as two pianos tuned to the same standard will be in tune with each other, so a
husband and wife who both agree with God about money will also agree with each other. In
this lesson we will survey God’s standards for how we are to handle the money He has
entrusted to us.
GOD IS INTERESTED IN HOW YOU SECURE YOUR MONEY
God is interested not just in what we do with a tithe of our money, but what we do with
all the resources He entrusts to us.
We Recognize God as the Source of Our Money
Some Christians struggle with the concept that God is the source and owner of all our
money. That is true simply because God is the source and owner of everything—including
money! The Scriptures could not be more clear on this point (Leviticus 25:23;
Deuteronomy 8:18; Psalm 24:1; 50:10; Proverbs 10:22; Ezekiel 18:4; Haggai 2:8; I
Corinthians 6:19–20). If God is the owner, that makes us His stewards, or managers. What
He gives us to use in our lives on this earth really belongs to Him and we are to use it for
His glory.
We Refuse to Make Money Our God
After everything Job went through, losing all of his material possessions and family, he
makes an amazing statement about money:
“If I have made gold my hope, or said to fine gold, ‘You are my confidence;’ if I have
rejoiced because my wealth was great, and because my hand had gained much; this also
would be an iniquity deserving of judgment, for I would have denied God who is above”
(Job 31:24–25, 28).
Even after losing everything by acts of God, Job refused to make money his focus. He
knew that to make money his god would be to deny the one true God of heaven and earth.
God is the owner of everything. To worship money which he created would be to serve the
creation instead of the Creator (Romans 1:25).
We Realize That Money Does Not Satisfy
Solomon was perhaps the wisest financial counselor who ever lived. He had money,
experience, and wisdom all rolled into one. And the proverbs he wrote about money show
incredible insight into its true purpose, and how it compares to the things which are really
important in life. Solomon taught that love was more important than money (Proverbs
15:17; 17:1). That means love and close relationships will satisfy us in ways money never
can.
I have had couples tell me, after they had succeeded in accumulating significant wealth,
that the happiest days of their lives were when they were just starting out, clinging to one
another and not knowing how they would make it financially. They were a team striving to
succeed, and it produced a bond which money cannot replace.
Not only can money not satisfy, but money is temporal as well. You can’t take it with
you. A man once told his wife he was going to put a jar of money in the attic and, when he
died, grab it on his way to heaven. She told him he was a little crazy to think he could do
such a thing. When he eventually died, his wife remembered what he had said and went to
look in the attic. Sure enough, there was the jar of money sitting right where he had put it.
“Maybe he should have put it in the basement,” she thought to herself as she took the
money from the attic.
 Regardless of where you go when you die, you can’t take your money with you.
Whatever you plan on doing with your money, you had better do it now.
We Resort to Work in Order to Supply Our Needs
The way we get the money we need to live on is through the work of our hands.
Proverbs also speaks pointedly about hard, honest work being the norm in our world for
accumulating the money we need (Proverbs 6:9–11; 13:11; 15:27; 21:6; 28:20, 22). Getting
money by lying, stealing, or cheating—or any dishonest means—is completely out of
God’s will. You may succeed in getting it dishonestly in the short term, but eventually
dishonest gain will be found out.
Instead of being tempted to dishonesty, many people, including many Christians, are
tempted by get-rich-quick schemes. If some deal you are offered sounds too good to be
true, it’s because it probably is too good to be true. Be very wary of schemes which
promise you wealth “for an hour’s work each day.” Instead of getting rich quick, Proverbs
13:11 says “he who gathers money little by little makes it grow” (NIV). Too many of God’s
people are even buying lottery tickets and gambling as a way to increase their wealth. That
is a colossal waste of God’s money, based on the mathematical improbability of winning
anything. Getting rich quick is not where we are to go for our daily bread. We are to work
by the sweat of our brow to earn what we need.
We Rely on the Promises of God
Finally, a proper view of God and money is that we rely upon His promises for
everything: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by
Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). We do everything we can to work hard at an honorable
job, recognize God’s ownership, find our satisfaction in God . . . but ultimately, even doing
all we know to do, we have to rest in His promises to provide our needs.
GOD IS INTERESTED IN HOW YOU SAVE YOUR MONEY
I remember during seminary someone taught us the 10–20-70 rule: you give God the
first 10 percent of your money, you save the next 20 percent, and live on the remaining 70
percent. Not many people save that much money today in America, but it’s a fairly easy
rule to remember and a good one to strive for if you can do it. If you can’t save 20 percent
of your money, you need to save something.
Statistics indicate that only about eight to 12 percent of Americans are self-sustaining at
age 65. The rest are either dependent on relatives or charity or are still working. That is not
to make anyone feel bad if they are that age without all the resources they would desire. But
it is a wake-up call to young people to tell them they need to start saving. It is a biblical
mandate that we do so. Again, Proverbs gives us direction and incentive in this area of our
financial lives (13:22; 21:20; 30:25). Solomon the naturalist points out how even the ants
store up food in the summer for the winter, and how we should follow their example.
Even Jesus, in the parable of the talents in Matthew 25 said that, at the very least,
money should be put in the bank so it can draw interest (verse 27). Being wise and saving a
little (or a lot) each month will, in time, produce a reserve for emergencies, funds to help
others, and money to live on in your latter years. Saving is part of God’s plan.
GOD IS INTERESTED IN HOW YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY
Research has shown that women will spend 10 percent more if they go shopping with a
friend, and 12 percent more if they take a child along. But the strangest statistic to me is
that women spend 20 percent more if they take their husband shopping with them. I’m not
sure I understand that, except I do know that if I go shopping with Donna and notice there’s
something she wants but is hesitant to spend the money on, I’ll buy it! I guess that’s how
“she” spends 20 percent more.
Here are some biblical considerations on how we spend our money, all of which God is
interested in:
Pay Your Taxes
Jesus said clearly that we are responsible to give government what is theirs as well as
giving God what is His (Matthew 22:21). Nobody enjoys sending a large portion of their
income to the government each year, but it’s the law—not to mention the fact that we get
quite a bit in return for our tax dollar. It may not be the most efficiently spent money in
history; but we are required to pay taxes, and Christians should pay them accurately and on-
time. There are Christians and others who have taken a position that taxes are
unconstitutional and we shouldn’t pay them. But Jesus said to give Caesar what is Caesar’s.
Care for Your Family
First Timothy 5:8 says we have a responsibility to provide for our own families, that we
are worse than an unbeliever if we don’t. There is no excuse for able-bodied men not
working to provide for their families. We have to work as hard as we can to make money
and then use it to take care of our own households.
Be Content with Needs Met
First Timothy 6:6–10 is a passage of Scripture for the American, consumer-oriented
Christian. It warns against the entrapment of riches and the deceitfulness of greed. Paul
says that “godliness with contentment is great gain” and that with “food and clothing” we
should be content. In other words, the challenge is to separate needs from “greeds,” not an
easy thing to do in a materialistic culture.
There is a wonderful prayer recorded in Proverbs 30:7–9 which brings us face-to-face
with the two extremes to which we can go with regard to money: poverty or riches. The
danger of poverty is that we might steal and profane the name of God; the danger of riches
is that we become fat and happy and deny the true source of our riches, God Himself. In
other words, Agur, the author of this prayer, was praying for balance, for moderation, so he
would not be tempted to sin.
Many people have the God-given capacity to possess enormous sums of money and
handle it with righteousness; others can labor with very little and be content. The goal for
all of us is contentment with what God has called us to do, has provided for us, and what
our hard work has returned to us.
Avoid Debt
Proverbs 22:7 says “the borrower is servant to the lender.” That doesn’t mean debt is
sin, but it does mean that the person in debt is not completely free. The lender is always
there, looking to you for the satisfaction of his interests. While debt is not forbidden in the
Bible, it is certainly presented in a negative light. Six times in the book of Proverbs we are
told not to co-sign notes with others nor to enter into their debts with them.
Credit cards have become the source of financial disaster for many in America,
including many Christians. Prompt plastic surgery would be in order in those cases. Credit
cards can be useful tools in terms of convenience; but in the case where convenience is
needed—purchases while traveling, mail-order or Internet shopping—the newer debit or
check cards are the better solutions. They have the convenience of a credit card but the
 accountability of a personal check. You can’t get into debt with a check card. If you
continue to use a credit card, you should have one rule: pay off the balance at the end of
each month. The first month you can’t or don’t, get rid of the credit card. Freedom from
debt may be second only to freedom from the guilt of sin in terms of personal freedoms in
this life.
GOD IS INTERESTED IN HOW WE SHARE OUR MONEY
To be a blessed child of God, we must be generous—generous in giving to the Lord and
generous in giving to others (Proverbs 3:9–10; 11:24–25; Malachi 3:10; Luke 6:38; II
Corinthians 9:7). The simple fact is that, over the years, the people I have known who were
generous givers have always been the most abundantly blessed both financially and in all
realms. We teach on financial stewardship every January in our church; and year after year,
people accept the challenge to begin tithing to the Lord. They are amazed to discover that
they live better on 90 percent of their income than they did previously on 100 percent. God
is faithful to cause us to reap even more generously than we sow (Galatians 6:7).
CONCLUSIONS: GOD IS INTERESTED IN HOW MONEY
SERVES US
God never intended for money to be a master over us. Rather, He intends for money to
be a servant, a tool, in the hands of the godly to accomplish His purposes on the earth. Here
are three ways to apply God’s principles for using money in our marriages.
Master the Principles of God’s Word
If both partners submit their individual financial desires and practices to the principles
of God’s Word, then they will be united.
Manage Your Money as a Couple
Extend the partnership aspect of your marriage to money. Use “our money” instead of
“your money” and “my money.” Make financial decisions together; don’t keep secrets;
don’t violate agreed upon plans.
Make a Commitment to Grow as Stewards
Take a course, or encourage your church to offer training for couples in biblical
financial management. Read books, watch videos, and get the education you need to make
your marriage a financial success in God’s sight.
Financial stewardship in marriage is a godly goal, but not the ultimate goal. Having a
marriage with both partners living under the lordship of Jesus Christ is the place to begin.
Nothing will fall in place as it should until that happens. The best managed checkbook in
the world will not satisfy because it cannot purchase the Bread of Life or Living Waters.
Make sure you gain those by faith before doing anything else (Isaiah 55:1–2).
APPLICATION
1. Read Matthew 6:19–24.
a. What does Jesus say not to do regarding financial resources? (verse 19)
b. What is He illustrating about the temporal nature of “things” by citing rust, moths, and
thieves? (verse 19)
c. What kind of investment protects material wealth from the corruption of this earth? (verse
20)
d. Practically speaking, what is an investment of treasure in heaven? Does it have to do with
how much time we invest in accumulating material goods; how we spend our money; or
both? Explain. (verse 20)
e. How is an investment of treasure in heaven paid back? When do we see dividends from
that investment, and how?
f. Explain verse 21 in your own words:
g. Is it fair to make a judgment about a person’s heart based on where and how he invests his
treasure? Why or why not? (verse 21)
h. What does the key word “also” suggest about the connection between treasure and heart?
(verse 21)
i. Verse 24 picks up the theme of verses 19–21. What do verses 22–23 have to do with the
topic of material possessions? (What is the relationship between the “eye” and, say,
covetousness or greed?)
j. How does verse 24 state the truth of verse 21 in different words?
k. What is the conclusion Jesus draws in verse 24 about the inseparability of God, money,
and the believer?
2. What do the following verses contribute to your understanding of the truth that God is the
owner of all things, including our money?
a. Leviticus 25:23
b. Deuteronomy 8:18
c. I Chronicles 29:10–14
d. Psalm 24:1
e. Psalm 50:10
f. Proverbs 10:22
g. Ezekiel 18:4
h. Haggai 2:8
i. I Corinthians 6:19–20
3. Explain the priorities concerning money presented in Proverbs 15:16:
a. Explain the same thing according to Proverbs 15:17:
b. And according to Proverbs 17:1:
c. Summarize the teaching of these three verses in one paraphrased proverb of your own
creation:
4. Read Proverbs 6:1–5.
a. What is the situation in this passage? (verse 1)
b. What is the danger? (verse 2)
c. What should you do if you make this mistake? (verses 3–5)
5. Read Proverbs 6:6–11.
a. What is the warning in this passage?
b. How is the ant a model of industriousness worthy of imitation? (verse 8)
c. In human terms, what do “summer” and “harvest” and the implied “winter” represent?
d. What will happen to the one who does not lay up stores when they are abundant? (verse
11)
DID YOU KNOW?
Families using credit cards will spend 30 to 40 percent more than if they made purchases
with cash. Less than six percent of credit card holders pay off their entire balance every
month. Of people with financial problems, 80 percent own more than they’re worth. Sixty
percent have borrowed more money than they can realistically repay during their entire life.
And 40 percent have borrowed more money than they can even make payments on. In 95
percent of families, the majority of the debt is generated by husbands. Because women
seem to have a built-in fear of debt, they generate debt in small increments; men, however,
take families into debt in giant steps (the boat, the car, the expensive toys).
1

1
David Jeremiah, Family Factor : Study Guide (Nashville, Tenn.: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2003),
55.