Dissertation Divorce Before Marriage (Breakup) by Subash Chander

1 | 35 Divorce Before Marriage (Breakup)
Divorce before Marriage (breakup): A CASE STUDY AT

UNIVERSITY OF SINDH JAMSHORO
Subash Chander
A Thesis submitted in the partial fulfilment of the requirements for the

degree of
BS English Literature
(Institute of English Language and Literature)
Institute of English Language and Literature,
University of Sindh, Jamshoro, Pakistan
December, 2018
DEDICATION
I dedicate this thesis to my parents and teachers without their guidance, patience,
Understanding, support, and above all their, love the completion of this work would not be
accomplished we pray that ALLMIGHTY ALLAH may shower his endless blessing upon
them.
I dedicate my dissertation work to Sara Shugufta, she suffers again and

again in her entire life.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
First of all I am very thankful to Allah Almighty that He showered his mercy and blessings on
me to complete my research Work in a smooth way.
I begin by thanking those individuals in my life that had a profound impact on the writing of
this Thesis work: first and foremost, my parents, who taught my brothers and me the
importance and value of an education, and my beloved brother, with whom I spent the
happiest of childhoods.
I express the deepest thanks to my respectable Teacher (Supervisor) Dr. Abdul Hameed
Panhwar Assistant professor at IELL at the University of Sindh Jamshoro for taking part in
the useful decision and giving me all precious and necessary advice, guidance and theoretical
as well as practical experience to enhance ideas for developing and completing my whole
research Thesis Work. And I also appreciate my dearest friend Gunish Kumar who helped in
my whole research work.
With profound gratitude and a deep sense of devotion, I am highly indebted to my respected
parents for their appreciation and moral & financial assistance during my whole life.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABSTRACT
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION
1.1. Background
1.2. Statement of Problem
1.3. Research Objectives
1.4. Research Questions
CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW
CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
3.1. Research Paradigm
3.2. Research Site
3.3. Population and Sampling
3.4. Research Instruments
3.4.1. Interview
3.5. Data Collection Process
3.6. Data Analysis Techniques
CHAPTER FOUR: FINDING AND DISCUSSION
4.1. The Views of Sindhi Society towards Romantic Relationship before
Marriage
4.1.1. Honour Killing (KARO KAARI)
4.1.2. Fewer Acceptances of Romantic Relationship by Sindhi
Peoples
4.1.3. The Narrow-Mindedness, Religious Perspectives, Illiteracy
and Ignorance of Pure Relations before Marriage by Sindhi
Peoples
4.2. Common Causes of Breakups among Youth Couples
4.2.1. Misinterpretation
4.2.2. Lack of Trust and Compromise among Couples
4.2.3. Some Common Reasons
4.3. Gender Role in Forming and Breaking-up Relations
4.3.1. Girls’ Dominancy over Boys
4.4. The Effects of Breakup on Boys/Girls’ Socially, Culturally and
Personally Life
4.5. The Effects of Breakup Stigma on the Life of Boys/Girls
4.6. The Ways to Healing and Happiness after Breakup!
4.7. The Effects of Breakup one’s Education/Academic Activities
4.8. The Media Role in Changing the Actual Meaning of Love
CHAPTER FIVE: CONCLUSION
5.1. Suggestions
References:
ABSTRACT
The purpose of this research work is to know something about the divorce (breakup) before
marriage as well as romantic/idealist relationships among youth and to know the causes and
reasons behind it and its effects on the life of youth socially, culturally and personally.
However, this research study focuses on the perspectives of the Sindhi society about romantic
relationships before marriage.
As well as, the role of media play an adequate in changing the real meaning of love and its
purity in real life situations. Where, most people take disadvantages from it because the
media particularly shows the negative side of love. And Media plays a very active role in
changing the mentality of people, the young generation, when watching physical relationship
in films, dramas and in stories, they think that love is related to a physical relationship only.
Though, such types of love and romantic relationships become the causes of breakups.
However, this research study mainly focuses on the negative effects of breakup on the
education of the youth. And the breakup of romantic relationships and romantic relations also
make the youth weak in academic activities. And such activities separate the youth from
education, parents, friends, religion as well as from their whole community and pulls toward
the ditch.
Keywords: The romantic relationship before marriage, the reasons for breakups and effects of the
breakup.
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION

Human needs many things to survive; human needs support of others, for this man has used
various things to live his life in different ways on his own, but in all these things, man has
been more efficient than ever to support human beings. In human beings, there are many
relations as; parents, brothers, sisters, wives, sons, and daughters, our society is based on
these relationships. There are different laws and rules for different relations of society,
leaving this relationship our main essence is the relationship between man and woman. There
are different aspects of it between the man and the woman who keeps them in touch, it’s a
marriage.
The romantic relationship between couples before marriage life is seen all over the world. In
European countries, both partner boys and girls are totally free in the field of a loving
relationship if they are mature enough. The romantic relationship between girls and boys
before marriage is considered good, especially in European countries. There is not any stigma
occurred from any aspect; socially, culturally and personally on their lives. Romance before
marriage is not considered a big issue among boys and girls in their society. But, in the sub-
continent, especially in Sindhi society, the romantic relationship between boys and girls
before marriage life is not considered good; it is seen as a big sin to do so. The persons who
do romance before marriage are killed on the name of honour killing. Our culture is involved
in it; our norms, values, attitudes and religion do not allow us to do romance before marriage
life.
There are a lot of reasons for breakup in youth; which I am going to investigate, occur in our
society. As I already mentioned that our society does not allow meeting both boys and girls
before marriage life. Our culture is totally anti towards romance that is why so many causes
occur for breakup in the relationship of youth. As all human beings have so many necessities
to survive; which are needed on the various spots of life, in which to make a relationship with
the opposite gender is also a basic need. Gender involves making relationships; especially in
youth. Our society is known as the male dominant society. Male is mostly involved in making
and breaking up a relationship because a male’s eyesight can not stay on one thing; especially
on one female. Male, in our society, wants to sleep in a night with all those females whom he
likes. If we see on the other hand, the female also involes making and breaking up a
relationship because a female also needs a relationship with the opposite gender. Whenever
female seems that the person whom she is in a relation can not fulfill the needs of hers, at that
time, the female is going to break it up.
Whereas, Qudsia speculated that whenever a relationship is broken up between boys and
girls, at that time, the breakup affects the various aspects of life; especially it affects social,
cultural and personal life of youth. Mostly these effects occur in a female’s life because she is
seen a sinner by our society. A stigma of breakup on the personal life of a female is very
difficult to remove it for her. But it is very easy to remove for a male because after it male
beards on his face.
Marriage is a Sex practice which is allowed by society. Sex is considered to be a very big sin
before marriage which is said to be adulterated, but after marriage, it is the biggest devotion
of the world. In Sindh, there are many acts happened and even happening nowadays about
couple’s secret relations (sex) which are named as ‘adulterated’ by our society and those
couples were killed on the basis of this act (adulterated), our society is filled with such
thousands of stories.
Here, my total concentration on the relationship between male and female before marriage.
But behind all of this, the reasons are to be identified and understood. The sex is a natural
phenomenon that cannot be fought with, every living thing do sex, they can be humans,
animals, and birds.
“Sex is the basic need of every adult, and it is the biggest worship of the world. Sex is
worship that takes you closer to God's sake and you feel Creator yourself. The person
who is in love is not in any other worship of the world. The sex is spiritual worship
with the body, which makes you grow in heaven and makes you feel in heaven. The
section plays an important role in eliminating the house” (Osho).
1.1. Background:
Love was the only reason behind the making of this universe; God creates this universal
system for his beloved. Boringness feeling of Prophet Adam PBUH and creation of Hawa
from his left rib is a sign of love. The story of sacrifice in love is a too much ancient history
of human beings, Haabel and Kaabel (sons of Prophet Adam PBUH) fought because of love,
and the first murder was also an act of love. Since then there is a lot of successful and
unsuccessful stories are famous about love in the world.
The martyrdom of heavenly head of Amin Prophet Imam Hussain PBUH is also written as a
victim of love in the world. It is evident in the folk stories of Sindh that people have
sacrificed their lives for love; Shah Abdul Latif's seven loaves are the best example. Those
who loved every single herb to enjoy their love, and never did anyone turn away before the
trouble.
Jamshoro's maternal academic age, history of Sindh University, was also associated with the
history of sacrifices in love. The founder of the University of University Allama, I.I. Qazi,
could not even defend himself after the departure of love and suicide for the sake of love,
always became an actor in the field of love.
1.2. Statement of problem:

It has been a great deal of our culture in the separation of two lovers. In the culture of Indo-
Pak, man’s decision is considered strong and decisive. The house is always considered to be
the end of the man's decision. In our society, lovers are not allowed to spend their lives on
their own ways. Parents give their decisions on children forcibly. Our society is divided into
castes, pieties, religions, fascinating, economic conditions, heights, education, colour and
generation, which is also the biggest cause of the breakup.
Especially in our society girls are mentally tortured by everybody, and these all things
happening by our culture and ethics. So it effects on her mental health badly and she starts to
get worse or hate herself. In our society, when a boy cannot be able to get all the fun from the
girl, in the way he wants, or we can say, nowadays, when a boy wants to do something wrong
with a girl and that girl denies to do so, after that the boy abandons her. And thinks about her
mischief through social media; her photos and the screen shots are uploaded, and starts
blackmailing. This means that social media is being used as a source of defaming the girl.
Marriage is considered to be essential in our society; there are thousands of reasons behind it.
Before getting married, between a young boy and a young girl, there are many relations but
one is considered the most special relationship, which is known as love. Love is the name of
the full of emotions that is for each other in their hearts, which only can make you feel that
the rest of the world, see it as a misconception, and take it in wrong way. This unhealthy
society has been an enemy of two lovers; lovers have to cross the thousands of rivers in the
way to reach on their destination. This society has always thrown two lovers into swinging to
the semen, and it is not possible for every lover who can cross these troubles planned by
society.
If we speak about today's love; then most of the people misuse the word ‘love’ as a credit
card for sex. It’s like a kind of hunger; hunger of sex, the hunger for money, hunger personal
interest, and many more. This is the reason which causes increasing the number of divorce
before marriage. The young girl and the boy make a lot of promises with each other at the
beginning of love but they cannot make them possible. In love they totally become blind;
they cannot see the social sanctions of society and religion, and they promise of marriage and
make the decision to live together till the death. They also promise to break down the all
barriers of society, caste, patriotism, and customs and cross all the boundaries of religions.
When the two lovers get breakup, at that time they try to torture themselves through drinking
alcohol, smoking cigarettes. They want to live lonely in locked rooms and become totally
depressed. Behind all of these reasons, all the hands are involved in society and culture.
In Sindhi there is a famous saying that “there is no food like happiness and there is no disease
like inner pain”. And then there will be no happiness for them, failure in love is very harmful
to human beings; especially for young girls and boys.
1.3. Research objectives:
1. To know the perceptions of Sindhi society about romance before marriage life and to
investigate the origins of breakup in the life of adolescence?
2. To illustrate the characteristics of making and breaking up a loving relation in gender

and to know about effects and stigma which cause socially, culturally and personally
in various conditions and situations?
1.4. Research Questions:
1. How Sindhi society views the romantic relationship between boys and girls before
marriage?
2. What are the most common causes of breakup among couples and the role of
gender in forming and breaking up of a romantic relationship which affects the
life of people socially, culturally and personally in various conditions and
situations?
CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW

The breakup of a close relationship can be one of life’s most emotional experiences, although
there seems to be considerable variability in the level of overall distress, the septic emotions
experienced (e.g. guilt, anger, sorrow), and the duration of the emotional distress that is
experienced (Frazier & Cook, 1993; Sprecher, 1994). As several emotion theorists (e.g.
Lazurus et al., 1970) have argued, emotions are adaptive responses to social events. When the
stimulus prompting the emotional response is the dissolution of affection ties, the experience
of emotional distress depends upon how an individual construes the various features of the
situation that are salient at the time of the breakup and subsequently, (Susan Sprecher Illionis
State University Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · December 1998).
Wisely understood the hazards of having a heart –a heart can be broken. But, what causes a
heart to break more or less? It is well known that individuals who have recently ended a
romantic relationship report lower levels of well-being than those who are in relationships
(e.g., Sbarra& Emery, 2005; Simon & Barrett, 2010), but no study, to our knowledge, has
examined changes in well-being from pre- to post-dissolution of an unmarried adult
relationship. This study prospectively examined how unmarried relationship break-up is
related to mental health and life satisfaction in a longitudinal, national sample. Based in part
on the investment model (Rusbult; 1980), we also examined characteristics of the relationship
(such as duration and living together) that may exacerbate the negative impacts of breaking
up. Further, it is based on the stressful-event-as-stress-relief model (Wheaton, 1990). While,
Fleming & LeRoy, (1939) in their book The Wizard of Oz provides considerable factors that
may buffer against the negative effects of a break-up (such as dating someone new).
“Be a loving person rather than in a love relationship – because relationships happen
one day and disappear another day. They are flowers; in the morning they bloom, by
the evening they are gone. So the change in things is a natural process” [ CITATION
Osh16 \l 1033 ].
Natural or cyclical love’s average age is approximately 18 months, after this love period ends.
After that, love is transformed into anxiety or infection. [ CITATION Sye18 \l 1033 ]
Breakups are very commonplace (Bramlett & Mosher, 2002; Carver, Joyner, & Udry, 2003)
and elicit bad feelings consisting of sadness, anger, and disgrace (Baumeister, Wotman, &
Stillwell, 1993; Leary, Koch, & Hechenbleikner, 2001). Even though such negative feelings
following a smash-up may additionally seem normative, romantic destroy-united states can
have extreme results such as insomnia, reduced immune feature, broken coronary heart
syndrome, depression, and suicide (T. Field, 2011; Monroe, Rohde, Seeley, & Lewinsohn,
1999; Skopp, Zhang, Smolenski, & Reger, 2016). The literature on romantic relationships and
social rejection suggests numerous strategies to cope with a romantic spoil-up, which include
reducing negative cognitions approximately oneself (Boelen & Reijntjes, 2009), recovering
the self-concept (Larson & Sbarra, 2015; Mason, Law, Bryan, Portley, & Sbarra, 2012),
specializing in personal growth (Tashiro & Frazier, 2003), and taking acetaminophen (DeWall
et al., 2010). It isn't unusual for human beings to nevertheless have love feelings for his or her
ex-accomplice (H. E. Fisher, Brown, Aron, Strong, & Mashek, 2010; Lange slag& Van
Strien, 2016), which is undoubtedly associated with disappointment (Sbarra & Ferrer, 2006)
and negatively related to self-idea restoration (Mason et al., 2012). Therefore, some other
manner to cope with a romantic destroy-up can be to decrease the depth of love feelings for
the ex-partner.
Love law is “using behavioural or cognitive techniques to alternate the depth of

contemporary emotions of romantic love” (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016, p. 2). Love law is
intently related to the properly-mounted concept of emotion regulation (Gross, 2002, 2013).
In herbal language, love is regularly taken into consideration to be an emotion (Fehr &
Russell, 1984; P. Shaver, Schwartz, Kirson, & O'Connor, 1987). Even although some
researchers also remember love to be an emotion (P. R. Shaver, Morgan, & Wu, 1996), other
researchers have argued that love isn't always an emotion, for numerous reasons. To begin
with, there are one-of-a-kind sorts of love (Berscheid, 2010; H. E. Fisher, 1998; Hatfield,
1988; Sternberg, 1986), such as infatuation (or passionate love) and attachment (or
companionate love). Infatuation is the overpowering, amorous feeling for one man or woman
that is typically most excessive all through the early level of affection, while attachment is the
comforting feeling of emotional bonding with some other character that takes some time to
develop (H. E. Fisher, 1998; Hatfield, 1988; Lange slag, Muris, & Franken, 2013). There
being extraordinary a form of love is one cause to expect that love as an entire isn't always an
emotion (Lange slag, 2006).
Because the word ‘love’ does no longer have a plural form, we use the time period ‘love
feelings’ to explain the gathering of different love types. Please be aware that the time period
‘feeling’ does not always check with an emotion (Thoits, 1989). There are also reasons to
assume that the person types of love aren't feelings either. That is, love feelings elicit specific
feelings depending on the state of affairs. Reciprocated infatuation, for example, may
additionally elicit the emotion pleasure (H. E. Fisher, Aron, Mashek, Li, & Brown, 2002),
while unreciprocated infatuation may additionally elicit the emotion sadness (Leary et al.,
2001). This example additionally shows that love feelings are not inherently fine or unsightly.
Valence is the time period used to explain (UN) pleasantness (Russell, 2003). Another motive
why love emotions are not feeling is that love emotions can be very lengthy-lasting, while
emotions are commonly shorter lasting. For instance, it isn't uncommon for infatuation to
closing for weeks or months and for attachment to final for years or many years (Hatfield,
Pillemer, O’Brien, & Le, 2008; Lange slag et al., 2013), while emotions typically final for a
1/2 hour up to several days (Verduyn & Lavrijsen, 2015). Instead of emotion, some
researchers have labelled love as a mindset (Rubin, 1970) or a script (Skolnick, 1987). Other
researchers, including us, classify love emotions as motivations (or drives) (including
craving, lust, starvation, and thirst) (Aron & Aron, 2016; H. Fisher, Aron, & Brown, 2005;
Lamy, 2016; Lange slag, 2006). So, despite the fact that love and emotion regulation are
closely related, they are conceptually specific within the feel that love regulation objectives
love emotions (including infatuation and attachment), whilst emotion regulation goals
emotions (inclusive of pleasure, disappointment, worry, and anger) (Lange slag & Van Strien,
2016). It has been proven that even though people commonly suppose that love emotions
cannot be regulated, love regulation is surely possible (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016).
Cognitive reappraisal is a famous emotion law approach that includes reinterpreting the
emotional stimulus (Gross, 2002; Ochsner & Gross, 2005). For example, after receiving a
task application rejection, you can remind yourself that the revenue became very low so as to
sense much less sad about the rejection. In a meta-analysis, cognitive reappraisal becomes
proven to be effective for regulating emotions (Webb, Miles, & Sheeran, 2012) and it is
considered useful for mental and social functioning (Gross, 2002; Gross & John, 2003).
Reappraisal of emotional stimuli is an essential thing of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy,
which is a commonplace remedy of emotional issues (Hofmann & Asmundson, 2008).
Several research has proven that cognitive reappraisal is likewise powerful for regulating
motivations inclusive of meals and drug yearning. For instance, non-dieting ladies said
reduced food craving after considering the bad effects of consuming the supplied food than
after considering its scrumptious smell, taste, and texture (Siep et al., 2012). Likewise, while
alcohol-established and social drinkers have been informed to consider the lengthy-term bad
outcomes of repeated consumption of depicted alcoholic beverages, subjective yearning
decreased in both agencies (Nagvi et al., 2015). Finally, cigarette people who smoke said
reduced cigarette and food yearning after considering the long-time period effects of smoking
and ingesting high fast foods in comparison to when thinking about on the spot emotions
associated with smoking or ingesting (Kober et al.,2010). So, reminding yourself of the
terrible characteristics of your ex-accomplice would possibly decrease your love feelings and
assist you to feel less awful approximately the spoil-up. In a proceeding look at (Lange slag
& Van Strien, 2016), contributors certainly stated using such poor reappraisal when they had
been heartbroken. In addition, in a love law task, infatuation and attachment had been
reduced by using thinking about the bad factors of the beloved or the relationship or
imagining terrible future eventualities. This indicates that negative reappraisal of the scenario
is an effective love regulation strategy. Because members have been free to select between
three strategies (i.e., a terrible reappraisal of the liked, the connection, or the destiny), it
remains unclear which of these is powerful for lowering love feelings.
If love down-regulation would help humans address a ruin up, then it might be predicted that
decreasing love feelings after a break-up might make human beings feel higher. In the
previous look at, but, participants who had lately experienced a romantic ruin up felt extra
unsightly after bad reappraisal than after no regulation (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016). It is
probable that love down the law with the aid of negative reappraisal has the fast-term effect
of making human beings feel greater ugly because it involves questioning poor mind. Even
though this detrimental effect of terrible reappraisal turned into unexpected and awaits
replication, it does indicate that love down-law after a destroy-up isn't always just the down-
regulation of bad feelings.
Importantly, it's been proven that frequent thoughts approximately negative aspects of the ex-
accomplice or the relationship are definitely related to the healing of the self (Brenner &
Vogel, 2015), which suggests that bad reappraisal may be an adaptive method to deal with a
destroy-up notwithstanding the fast-term destructive impact.
Another shape of cognitive reappraisal entails reappraising the emotion rather than the
emotional stimulus (Webb et al., 2012). For example, after receiving a process application
rejection, you may tell yourself that it's far regular to feel unhappy and accept that sadness
without judgment.
Reappraisal of emotions is a part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and

mindfulness and works by using counteracting maladaptive reaction-focused emotion
regulation strategies including suppression (Gross & John, 2003; Hofmann & Asmundson,
2008). Meta-analyses showed that reappraisal of emotions is effective for regulating emotions
(Webb et al. 2012) and that mindfulness remedy is powerful for lowering drug craving and
drug use (Li, Howard, Garland, McGovern, & Lazar, 2017). In one look at, the effect of
mindfulness remedy on drug yearning was mediated with the aid of a latent thing
representing acceptance, focus, and no judgment (Witkiewitz, Bowen, Douglas, & Hsu,
2013), which indicates that reappraisal of feelings turned into the underlying mechanism. So,
inform yourself that it is ordinary to nonetheless love your ex-companion and to accept the
ones love feelings without judgment would possibly decrease your love emotions and assist
you senseless bad approximately the break-up. A previous take a look at has shown that a
mixture of Hatha yoga and mindfulness meditation reduced rumination related to a romantic
destroy-up (Harris, 2015). To our knowledge, it has no longer but been tested whether or not
reappraisal of love emotions for an ex-companion decreases love emotions.
Distraction is an emotion regulation strategy that entails performing a distracting secondary

assignment to restriction interest to emotional stimuli (Ochsner & Gross, 2005). For example,
after receiving a task utility rejection you can play a video game to distract yourself. In a
meta-evaluation, distraction changed into discovered to be powerful for regulating feelings
(Webb et al., 2012), although it is probably maladaptive inside the long-term
(Thiruchselvama, Blecherta, Sheppes, Rydstromb, & Gross, 2011). Several studies have
proven that distraction is powerful for regulating motivations as nicely. For example,
distraction-decreased food craving (Van Dillen & Andrade, 2016) and hobby in alternative
romantic partners (Van Dillen, Papies, & Hofmann, 2013). So, gambling an online game or
looking a film to distract yourself from a spoil-up may lower love feelings and assist you to
feel much less horrific about the smash-up, at the least inside the short time period. In the
previous examine, many individuals reported using distraction after they have been
heartbroken (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016). To our understanding, it has not but been
examined whether or not distraction decreases love emotions for an ex-companion.
Emotions and emotion regulation have been studied notably the use of occasion-associated
potentials (ERPs). The late fine capability (LPP) displays a couple of, overlapping positivity
over the posterior scalp starting within the time range of the classic P300, i.e., round 300 ms
after stimulus onset. Because the LPP amplitude is usually stronger for each bad and superb
as compared to impartial stimuli (Hajcak, Weinberg, MacNamara, & Foti, 2011), it's far taken
into consideration to be modulated by way of arousal (i.e., intensity) in place of valence. The
LPP amplitude is an idea to reflect stimulated interest for emotional statistics (Schupp,
Flaisch, Stock burger, & Junghöfer, 2006). The LPP is better in response to photographs of
the cherished (Lange slag, Franken, & Van Strien, 2008; Lange slag, Jansma, Franken, & Van
Strien, 2007). This impact happened regardless of whether or not people were in court with
their loved or whether or not the relationship had ended (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016),
which shows that people typically nevertheless display encouraged attention for their ex-
associate. Several mental disorders contain expanded interest in ailment-associated data. For
example, depressed sufferers have multiplied attention for terrible records (Everaert, Koster,
& Derakshan, 2012), social phobia sufferers have expanded attention for socially threatening
statistics (Musa & Lépine, 2000), and substance use ailment patients have expanded interest
for substance-related facts (M. Field & Cox, 2008). Because this expanded interest has been
connected to the upkeep of those issues, some treatments focus on decreasing the multiplied
interest for sickness-related facts (Hakamata et al., 2010). Therefore, reducing influenced
attention for an ex-companion can be useful after a romantic ruin up.
Importantly, the LPP amplitude is modulated by means of emotion regulation instructions in

step with the regulatory aim: emotion up-regulation generally complements the LPP
amplitude, whereas emotion down-law normally reduces it (Hajcak, Mac Namara, & Olvet,
2010). This indicates that emotion law reduces motivated interest for emotional information.
In the preceding observe (Lange slag& Van Strien, 2016), love down-regulation by way of
negative reappraisal of the liked, the relationship, and/or the destiny decreased the LPP
amplitude, albeit more in individuals who had been in a dating with their cherished instead of
in members who had experienced a ruin up (due to the fact the latter institution had greater
character variability). The decreased LPP due to love down-regulation indicates that terrible
reappraisal reduced stimulated interest for the liked, which can also help human beings
recover from a romantic destroy-up.
The modern-day look at aimed to extend the findings of the preceding love law examine
(Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016) in several methods. First, to boom specificity and to keep
away from any results of strategy choice (Baur, Conzelmann, Wieser, & Pauli, 2015), this
observation focused on a poor reappraisal of the ex-associate in preference to letting
individuals pick freely between bad reappraisal of the ex-accomplice, the connection, or the
future. Second, except bad reappraisal of the ex-partner (hereafter: bad reappraisal), we
additionally evaluated the techniques reappraisal of affection emotions (hereafter: love
reappraisal) and distraction. Third, to reduce demand characteristics (Orne, 1962),
contributors have been in no way knowledgeable that the purpose changed into to lower love
feelings. Fourth, with the intention to improve the sign-to-noise ratio of self-record data, we
used an event-related layout in preference to a blocked design (cf. Moser, Krompinger, Dietz,
& Simons, 2009; Moser, Most, & Simons, 2010), which allowed us to accumulate love and
valence scores on the quilt of every trial. Finally, participants completed regulation earlier
than viewing a photo of the ex-companion instead of during image presentation. This
challenge mimics each day lifestyles conditions wherein people regulate their feelings at one
point and finally encounter (stimuli associated with) the ex-accomplice. This venture became
based totally on previous emotion law studies which have proven that providing descriptions
that make a next image greater or much less emotional modifications the emotional reaction
and the LPP amplitude in response to that picture (Foti & Hajcak, 2008; Mac Namara, Foti, &
Hajcak, 2009; Peng, Qu, Gu, & Luo, 2013).
The first research query of the current study became: are negative reappraisal, love
reappraisal, and distraction effective for down-regulating love emotions after a romantic
spoil-up? Based on the preceding research described above, it changed into hypothesized that
everyone three regulation strategies might decrease love feelings. Because love is not
inherently fine or negative, it's far critical to assess the effect of different regulation strategies
on pleasantness. Therefore, the second one studies question turned into: how do negative
reappraisal, love reappraisal, and distraction after a romantic ruin-up modulate the valence of
impact? We predicted to duplicate the previous finding that poor reappraisal made human
beings experience greater unpleasant (Lange slag& Van Strien, 2016). Love reappraisal, in an
evaluation, became predicted to have no impact on valence due to the fact the affection
reappraisal mind is impartial. And, because the distraction approach in the present day looks
at involved thinking about effective matters, it changed into hypothesized that distraction
would make people sense greater great.
Based on the preceding examine (Lange slag & Van Strien, 2016), we hypothesized that poor
reappraisal would lower the LPP amplitude in reaction to a photo of the ex-companion. In
every other examine, emotion reappraisal initially stronger the LPP in response to emotional
stimuli but decreased the LPP while stimuli had been repeated (Uusberg, Talpsep, & Paaver,
2016). Each image inside the cutting-edge look at depicted the ex-associate, which essentially
resulted in a repetition of the ex-accomplice, so it was anticipated that the internet end result
might be that love reappraisal might lessen the LPP amplitude. Finally, based on preceding
emotion law studies which have shown that distraction reduces the LPP amplitude (Little &
Franken, 2011; Schönfelder, Kanske, Heissler, & Wessa, 2013; Shafir, Schwartz, Blechert, &
Sheppes, 2015), it changed into anticipated that distraction could reduce the LPP amplitude as
nicely. Reduced LPP amplitudes after law might mean that law decreased the encouraged
attention for the ex-accomplice.
My findings will be that in our Sindhi society romantic relationships breakup because of
some causes and these causes are divided into castes, religions, culture, economic conditions,
heights, education, colour, and generation and also because of media the breakup between
couples and its effect on their social lives.
CHAPTER THREE: Research Methodology:

According to Kothari (2004), Research methodology is a scientific way through which we get
to the bottom of the research problem. It has been understood as a science of studying how
research is completed technically. In it, we study the range of steps that are usually taken on
by a researcher in examining his research problem beside with the logic behind them.
“accordingly, as we talk of research methodology we not only talk of the
research methods but also think about the logic behind the methods we apply
in the milieu of our research study and make clear why we are using a
particular method or technique and why we are not using others so that
research results are accomplished of being evaluated either by the researcher
himself or by others” (C.R Kothari 2004).
In order to this, Why a research study has commenced, how to define research problem, in
what manner and why the assumption has been initiated, what information has been together
and what exact method has been taken on, why particular technique of analyzing has been
used and a group of related other questions are generally answered when we talk of research
methodology relating to a research problem or study.
The method is a way through which we solve or find out any problems step by step. It means
the method is like a track on which researchers walk in a particular direction. The title of this
chapter indicates methods that I’m going to describe the detail about the methods and
procedures for collecting data of my research work. And also describe the motive or objective
of my study. In this study, I am going to use qualitative data analysis. Through the use of a
predetermined interview, I will find out reason and logic behind the breakup.
However, Methodology is used to refer to the research design, methods, approaches and
procedures used in an exploration that is well designed to uncover something (Keeves, 1997).
For instance, data gathering, participants, instruments used, and data analysis, are the entire
elements of the wide ground of methodology. In addition, the methodology communicates the
logic and stream of the systematic procedures pursued in conducting a research project, so as
to increase knowledge concerning a research problem. It consists of statements complete,
limitations come across and how they eased or decreased. It emphasizes how we come up to
be familiar with the world or gain knowledge about a part of it (Moreno, 1947).
Through the systematic routes and methods of research, lots of studies have been conducted
through diversities of research design. I will go through the qualitative paradigm of research.
The outline of this chapter includes Research paradigm, research area, population and
sampling, research tools, data collection process and data analysis techniques. The detail of
each step is given below.
3.1. Research paradigm:
The Research paradigm is related to the aim of the research. Moreover, in educational
research, the word paradigm is used to explain a researcher’s ‘worldview’ (Mackenzie &
Knipe, 2006). This worldview is the perception, or thinking, or school of thought, or set of
shared beliefs, that informs the meaning or interpretation of research data. Or, as Lather
(1986) has demonstrated that a research paradigm essentially reflects the researcher’s
viewpoint regarding the world that s/he lives in and wished to live in. It represents the
conceptual ideas and principles that form how a researcher sees the world and how s/he
understands and take action within that world. When we say that it describes the researcher’s
worldview, we indicate that a paradigm comprises the abstract values and ideology that form
how a researcher sees the world and how he/she interprets and acts within that world. It is the
lens in the course of which a researcher looks at the world. It is the abstract lens through
which the researcher looks at the methodological features of their research project to resolve
the research methods that will be used and how the data will be analysed (as cited in, Kivunja
.C, and Kuyini A.B 2017).
Accordingly, I will go to use the descriptive qualitative design of research. According to Ary
(2006, p.24), qualitative research emphasis on the understanding of social fact from the social
the views of human contribution (participation) in the study. On an additional, Sugiyono
(2008), demonstrated that the descriptive qualitative research design is a naturalistic method.
In order to this explanation, we can say the qualitative design is a way through which we can
gather data in detail. By means of this design, I will obtain the information in deep.
Therefore, my research findings will be about peoples’ view, ideas and experiences about the
breakup. Since this type of research; gives a platform for participants to share their ideas
about the research problem without restraint. Further, researchers also get more detailed
reasons and data in association with their topics. This paradigm of research is more suitable
for a small number of population and my study and my study is not associated with a wider
context. Therefore, I’m doing qualitative research to investigate ‘what are the reasons for
breakup in adults’ lives.
3.2. Research site:

Research site means a particular area where research will be conducted. My research area is
the University of Sindh, whole research will be taken from the students as well as teachers of
Sindh University. I have selected this area because it is the central and biggest university of
Sindh province where students come from the different districts of Sindh and from other
provinces of Pakistan and even from other countries. Therefore, I have decided to conduct
research on this site, to expose the problems of peoples on the basis of the breakup. I wish
that the results will be more interesting and different because participants belong is different
by area, language, and social background.
3.3. Population and Sampling:
Kumar (2011) addressed that the Sampling is the procedure of choosing a small number of (a
sample) from a greater group (the sampling population) to become the foundation for
assessing or predicting the incidence of an unfamiliar part of the information, state of affairs
or result on the subject of the bigger group. A sample is a subgroup of the population you are
paying attention in.
I will go through judgmental/ purposive sampling. The main thoughtfulness in purposive

sampling is your judgement as to who can give the best information to attain the objectives of
my study. I as a researcher merely go to those people who in my view are to be expected to
have the requisite information and be ready to share it with me. This type of sampling is very
useful when I want to build a historical reality, describe a phenomenon or develop something
about which only a little is known. This sampling approach is more general in qualitative
research.
According to Sugiono (2008, p.117), the population is a very broader area which contains
object and subject possess some qualities and characteristics that’s decided by the researchers
to get the findings of his/her works. In nutshell, we can say a population is a large number of
people from them researchers get their data for his/her study.
The population for my research study will be the students of Sindh University Jamshoro and
their experience of love breakup. However, in every discipline students are learning many
lessons through a breakup. The population must include students from some departments of
the University of Sindh Jamshoro and their privacy must be secret. Now I’m going to
describe the sampling of research work is as follow.
On the basis of Webster, (1985) Sampling is a restricted fragment of the numerical population
whose qualities are measured to obtain information about the whole. In simple words, we can
say sampling is a set of participants who are selected from a large number of populations to
be a respondent for any research work. There are many types of sampling but I have selected
purposive sampling. In line with Patton, (2002) Purposive sampling is a technique which
mostly used in the qualitative research for the recognition, selection and information-rich
case for the most successful of finite resources. On another hand, Creswell and Clark (2011),
said purposive sampling includes, recognising and selecting single person or group of a
person based on their knowledge, skills, experience and on their own will. This is the brief
description of sampling and its type purposive sampling which I have chosen for my research
work.
Earlier I have mentioned there are many types of sampling but I have opted purposive
sampling because it is better and fruitful in qualitative research for small numbers of
participants. It will help me to get out more authentic data in the associationwith my research
question. Because the sample will be selected on the researcher’s judgement, experience and
on their own knowledge, that’s why I have selected the purposive type of sampling for my
research work. For my work total number sample will be 10 students in digit and they will be
selected randomly from different departments of Sindh University. In addition, my research is
qualitative and respondent will give a response in detail with their comprehension. Because
all students are not experienced about “Breakup”, for my research work I need experienced
students who are able to give a responseto my questions. Through purposive sampling, I will
get a competent sample for my research study.
3.4. Research Instruments:
Kumar (2011) in his book demonstrated that the research instruments are anything that
becomes a means of collecting information for your study is called a ‘research tool’ or a
‘research instrument’, for example, observation forms, interview schedules, questionnaires
and interview guides.
Research Instruments are like weapons. We can say that everything which is used to get
information is called a research tool. Every paradigm of research has taken different tools.
For instance, (tools for quantitative research are associated with particular tools. On the other
hand, for qualitative we use different tools).
According to Nabil (2016), he said researcher himself is an instrument in a qualitative

research study. The purpose in qualitative research it is intended either to achieve in-depth
information about a situation/event/episode or to be familiar with as much as feasible about
diverse sides of an individual on the statement that the individual is distinctive of the group
and for this reason will give insight into the group. For descriptive qualitative research work,
researchers used a variety of research Instruments such as interviews, open-ended
questionnaire, unstructured observation, etc. These research tools are alike weapons which
are triggered by researchers to gather data for their own work. For my research work, I will
get data through an informal interview. Every researcher uses those tools which suit their
paradigm of research, population, sample, and to get data easily and authentically. I have
selected this tool to facilitate me and my respondents for data collection. Detail of this
instrument is given below.
3.4.1. Interview:
Interviewing is a commonly used method of collecting information from people. In

many walks of life we collect information through different forms of interaction with
others (Kumar, R. 2011).
It is a research Instruments which used to collect data. The interview is a set of questions
through that researcher obtain a response from the respondent.
Accordingly, I will set the questions in the interview for my research participants. Because
descriptive qualitative research data based on words and others opinion, therefore, I have
select an informal interview is a better selection to give a chance to the participants to share
their ideas freely without any restriction another reason is for the selection of informal
interview as a research because in this kind of interview respondent feel comfort to share
their ideas without any fear or pressure, for this reason, interview questions are considered
more easiest, successful and useful instrument. It is a very time conserving tool researchers
get data rapidly from a large number of populations.
3.5. Data collection process
There are many ways which are used by the researchers to gather data. However, various
tools are used in various researches by various researchers. Those tools are used on the basis
of research design and researchers experiences. As above I have mentioned a tool for data
collection is an informal interviewquestion. With this tool, my entire data will be collected.
Questions for an interview will be set on the basis of experienced peoples. The interview will
be presented to the supervisor for approval after the approval it will proceed for next step.
Before the taking interview, I’ll explain the interview questions to the participants to make
them clear. After it, the inteeview will be conducted from the respondents and they easily
give a response, if they feel any difficulty while giving an interview I will make everything
clear.
3.6. Data analysis techniques:
Thematic analysis is a process which widely used in qualitative research. According to Braun
and Clarke, (2006), it is a method for recognising, arranging, analysing, describing and
reporting themes explored within data. In addition to this, the data which will be collected
through interview and conducted interviews would be analysed through thematic method.
Analysis process will follow the Braun and Clarke model of thematic analysis. By following
this model, firstly I will read the all raw data documents which I collected through interviews.
Secondly, data will be coded with the English Alphabet, after these similar codes will be
extracts into themes and themes will be given on the basis of similar codes. The themes will
be reviewed to ensure which reflect the meaning of the data set. After this, I will define the
detailed story of themes. Finally, the report of whole data will be written on the basis of
thematic analysis format. The report will be summarising, logically relevant and not repeated.
CHAPTER FOUR: FINDING AND DISCUSSION

This chapter, describes the data obtained through the interview from the participants of this
research study. The participants have provided information on the basis of their university life
experiences as well as social and personal.
4.1. The Views of Sindhi Society towards Romantic Relationship before

Marriage:
Most of the selected boys and girls participants expressed their views about the idealist
relationships before marriage as they said that the thoughts of Sindhi peoples are not the fair
not merely in Sindhi society but in other provinces in Pakistan considers the romantic
relations before marriage from the negative point. And it is seen very bad and dishonoured
relation in Sindhi society Such as;
4.1.1. Honour Killing (KARO KAARI): mostly peoples declared that the views of Sindhi
peoples are not fair towards the idealist relations before marriage between girls and boys.
Because they believe that these relations affect their family reputation in society. If they find
any quixotic relation between boy and girl they name it “KARO KAARI” not merely in
Sindhi society but rather in other rural as well as urban areas of Sindh and other provinces of
Pakistan. Whereas they do not simply name it KARO KAARI but they kill both the boy and
girl on the stigma of KARO KAARI.
Similarly, Ali (2018) in his article ‘Honour Killing in Sindh’ defines that in Pakistan one
cannot disagree with it because it is a certainty. Nevertheless, this practice takes rapidity and
state in Sindh and still on the draconian problem the government of Pakistan is also quiet.
Furthermore, in inner Sindh, social norms and cultural values are extremely embedded.
Hence, on the name of Honour, the notion of killing a woman is an essential element of
ancestral culture. And this is social, economically and politically brocade of Sindhi society.
Whereas, most people kill their sisters, daughter and also their mothers on the name of
Honour Killing and get innocent because the killers get a pardon by their head and other
family members through taking “Diyat, Blood money”.
4.1.2. Fewer Acceptances of Romantic Relationship by Sindhi Peoples: In accordance

most of the participants defined their views that in their societies they do not accept this
relationship before marriage between girl and boys because they believe that such relations
are not good enough among them cause the other society members do not agree with them
especially this ruin the good family relations. Whereas, they also said that both girls and boys
together without any intention of pure relation or making it official that will not be acceptable
for Sindhi families in our culture.
4.1.3. The Narrow-Mindedness, Religious Perspectives, Illiteracy and Ignorance of Pure

Relations before Marriage by Sindhi Peoples:
Whereas most of the peoples said that we are living in the 21 st century, after all, we are not
open-minded and still do not accept any relations among couples before marriage in Sindhi
society. At the same time, they said that the relationship between a girl and a boy according to
our Sindhi society is taken as inappropriate while it’s not. It’s just because of our Sindhi
people's sick mentality, illiteracy and ignorance. They don't understand the beauty of LOVE.
In accordance with this, most of the participants said that due to the “Narrow-mindedness” of
Sindhi people these romantic relationships are not well in their perspectives between girls and
boys before marriage. While, it seems odd in Sindhi that love before marriage, people think
that there is nothing like love before marriage. Love is just a thing which only happens after
marriage, before marriage, there is not any kind of love. However, but few people who are
aware of love they really appreciate love before marriage but it should be the same as it was
in earlier days.
However, there are two types of people one those believe in these relations before marriage
and others do not believe in such relations because they thought it as a sin in Sindhi society.
Because we keep traditions in our mind, even culture sects and religious perspectives of
peoples matter a lot. For instance, if a boy or girl both are from different religion then our
Sindhi peoples will not ever accept such relations in our society. Whereas, they are illiterate
of such relations since they are not merely aware of the word “romantic” because they
considered it as one type of “Sexual Interaction” between boy and girl.
4.2. Common Causes of Breakups Among Youth Couples:
The participants of this study shared types of the reason that play a vital role in breakups
idealist relationships among youth couples. As Engels (2018) in her research article provides
some brutal reasons that become the cause of breakup among youth couples. Such as; lack of
trust, no fulfilment of needs, misinterpretations, lack of understanding, communication
issues, money issues, different expectations, differences in priorities, moving through life at
different speeds, relational abuse and life habit abuse these all are the reasons that can break
up any idealist relationship among youth.
4.2.1. Misinterpretation: however, they believe that there are certain causes of breakups
among youth couples are common misinterpretation about one another and the
misunderstandings that are youth always holds with them. Because mostly couples blaming
on their partners that they are not sincere with them and they have sexual relations with other
peoples. Whilst, the common misinterpretations like, needs of partners which are not
fulfilment by their followers. Hence, these common needs and other aspects among their
relations become the causes of breakups. Mostly we have seen that peoples are like birds. If
we hold tightly they die, if we hold loosely, they fly, but if we hold with care, they remain
with us forever. Similarly, they also said that the most common causes of a breakup are simply
misunderstandings occur due to the involvement of some other peoples in the relation.
4.2.2. Lack of Trust and Compromise among Couple:
Whilst, most of the peoples said that there are a lack of compromise and trust effects a lot on
their relationships and these become the exclusively causes of a breakup between girl and
boy. And lack of trust is the most common cause of breakup among couples and especially in
the youth. Where they do not trust their partners, suppose a girl is talking with other boy and
her boyfriend caught her talking with another boy this becomes the cause of the breakup.
4.2.3. Some Common Reasons:
Similarly, most of the boys and girls have shared some common reasons of breakups among
young couples they believe that reasons and causes behind breakups are misunderstandings,
immaturity, negative intentions of the men towards women, physical intimacy, non-serious
attitude towards relationship, narrow mentality, male dominance etc. And they also said that
trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity,
emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, or... No sex. Or not enough sex... Money
issues, Empty nesting, bad communication, not compromising, cheating, not enough in
common some really hard stuff happens and it just does not work anymore. And also an
emotional dependency on a partner and most of the time due to family restrictions may cause
breakups among young couples. So, lack of understanding, trust, insecurities usually lead
towards the breakups.
4.3. Gender Role in Forming and Breaking-up Relations:

The girls and boys those selected as participants for this research paper shared some common
views about the forming and breaking-up romantic relations before marriage as they said that
“If girls can read the mind of boys they may get per se one slap”. Mostly girls play a vital
role in forming the relationship. Even, we as male understand them weaker sex and give the
name of frailty but this is not so far.
However, boys always think about sex with girls. This becomes the main cause of the
breakup of an impracticable relationship. Boys mostly want to make the sexual relationship
not merely with their partners but other girls as well. We certainly can say that gender play a
vital role in forming and breaking-up the romantic relationship. Whereas, they said that girls
cannot break and form any relations with boys without any reason. But boys are not like so
far girls. Because they make haste informing as well as breaking-up relations without any
reason they just look for some profit. As well as boys are a reserve and possessive due to
mostly girls cannot fulfil their commands and are not supposed to fulfil their commands
before the official marriage relation. Boys are always supposed to act like her official partner
before marriage. Similarly, they also said that the role of a boy at first step as he is very
interested in making a girl happy in initials days. The girl is happy then afterwards both take
themselves for granted and when the work is done they going to leave one another.
Moreover, they said that boys Not taking his woman seriously, not taking the responsibility of
marriage, flirting with other girls while being in a relationship, dominance over his woman,
not understanding the feelings of the woman, ruining her life after taking her to bed and then
leaving her and many others.
However, most of the boys and girls said that both boys and girls play the same role in
forming and breaking-up an idealist relation before marriage so they both should be mature
enough to accept the differences of each other and should not force their partner for doing
something they do not want to do or like. And it totally depends upon who is holding the
relationship more seriously. Because a person who takes the relation not seriously. And
somehow the main reason of breakup is the ego between boy and girl during relation.
However, the love is just a Drama that has last episode Body! When the body meets the
Drama is the end. If the girl is beautiful and boy is rich then there will not be a late in pure
love.
4.3.1. Girls Dominancy over Boys:

However, most of the students from different universities said that in most universities not
merely at Sindh University but at other universities, they found that girls are dominated by
boys in this 21st century. Wherein, girls going to use boys as tissue paper when the work is
done they search for another. This kind of activities does not merely affect their education but
their socially, politically and culturally lives. Whereas most of the boys come from the rural
areas so they are unaware of such things and to them, girls involved in their love and then
they not just play with them even break up the relationship and for this reason, there have
been most boys committed suicide.
4.4. The Effects of Breakups on Boys/Girls’ Socially, Culturally and

Personally Life:
The participants according to their experience said that the stigma of having breakups will
always be with people. And this mark of disgrace affects a lot on the life of people in their
society, culture and they feel them personally as inferior and also make them weak and sense
of humour/fall in depression, as well as most boys, going to take drugs regularly that makes
them worst personally, socially and culturally where other communities see them with critical
and negative eyes. And underestimate them in all perspectives. Similarly, Sanz (2015)
reported in her research article that there are many effects of breakup on the youth these
effects are; anger and frustration, crying and sadness, fear, insomnia lose of interest in
activities, feeling worthless and thoughts about death, also called suicidal ideation.
These stigmas of breakup affect a lot on the reputation of the peoples in the society and in
their culture. Through this, they feel shame and this shamelessness obviously break their
relationship with society and their family too. As personally, they feel alone in the world.
However,” we are living in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional
pain”. Whereas, it affects both sides however, mostly on the girls whereat after a breakup it
affects on girls socially and culturally life in worst ways.
Obviously, when a people are not well mentally, they are depressed, they feel unwanted, they
think to commit suicide and such type of thoughts they face, they lose the interest in their
social interactions, they avoid people, and they lose their self-esteem. It affects their social,
cultural and personal behaviours. And also there are some pity effects occur in life after
breakup whatever gender is, it suffers many serious matters. While when a breakup occurs
recently social life is disturbed. A person does not give importance to anyone and wants to be
alone as nobody could disturb in any matter.
However, most of the girls and boys said that an initial stage it affects badly but afterwards it
makes a person strong, mature and independent. As they can use this pain in order to get
success in all the aspects of life. This makes them mature in act of when they are going to
make such relations again in their life. As well as, it also makes them independent and they
take responsibilities of their loving one and also their own.
4.5. The Effects of Breakup Stigma on the Life of Boys/Girls:
The boys and girls reported that in certain situations the stigma of breakup is really very
difficult to manage especially for girls in their society. It is nailing them in their entire life.
Like the hole in heart and stone in kidney! People around them, their community members
consider them as they are market girls and such stigmas affect a lot on their life. And that will
be most difficult to manage.
4.6. The Ways to Healing and Happiness after Breakup!
However, most of the information providers provide certain ways in order to healing and get
happiness after the breakup they said that when the wrong people leave your life, the right
things start happening. So, do not pain for those who left you, but use pain to earn success.
Whereas girls must have to stop being a prisoner of their past, they have to try to be the
architect of their own future. Because when nails grow long, we cut the nails not fingers.
Similarly, when misunderstandings grow up, cut your ego, not your relationship. Do not put
the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.
Whereas, they also said that for getting over from breakup for happiness one should make
itself busy in reading and many different social activities and by thinking for family and other
peoples who are related to their life. And one should live for others who are very much closer
to their life. And Give yourself the proper time, read books, workout, engage yourself with
arts like music, sketching, drawings, friends, family, surround yourself with good people who
level you up and push you towards positivity, educate yourself, learn what you have not
learned before, do what you want to do.
4.7. The Effects of Breakup on One’s Education/ Academic Activities:

Similarly, they said that after breakup couples become depressed, angry and may possess
negative emotions that in certain ways affect a lot on their educations and academic activities
and an emotionally weak person can't focus on any task whether related to academic or work.
So to deal with depression and any emotional problems one must be aware of such effective
things. That not simply destroy their education, affects their academic activities but also
destroy their life too in certain situations. Because most of the stories take to turn into sad
tragedies that give the way to negative emotions, angriness and depression that is why it
affects a lot on their education where they cannot be aware with such tragedies and such
tragedies obstruct their attention, concentration, and focus from their academic activities.
4.8. The Media Role in Changing the Actual Meaning of Love:
Mainly, most of the participants stated that Media plays a very active role in changing the
mentality of people, the young generation, when watching physical relationship in films,
dramas and in stories, they think that love is related to a physical relationship only. Whereas,
If the media show the other side of the relationship that will also change the meaning of love.
However, media play a vital role but unfortunately it glamorize love so much that kills the
real intensity of love, means they show the type of love which doesn't exist in real life
situations and such kind of love corrupt the minds of youth because then they start to desire
that kind of love which they can't find in real life.
Whereas, it has observed that some Bollywood movies and songs, not just play a vital role in
forming relationships but it exclusively breakup ranges of Idealist Relationships. And such
songs and movies are;
A song by Lata Mangeshker a renowned bollywood singer of the 21st century her sung one
song played many roles in forming relationships and forced peoples to leave their homeland:
Pyaar kiya to darna kya

Jab pyaar kiya to darna kya
Pyaar kiya koi chori nahin ki
Pyaar kiya
Pyaar kiya koi chori nahin ki
Chhup chhup aahe bharna kya
Why should we be afraid, if we have loved?
Why should we be afraid, when we have loved?
We have just loved and haven't committed a crime,
We have loved,
We have just loved and haven't committed a crime,
Why should we hide and then sigh,
There is another song by Muratab Ali sung by Lata Mangeshker and this song makes peoples
limited to their Homeland they never ever go for ahead:
Chhod De Sari Duniya Kisi Ke Liye

Yeh Munaasib Nahin Aadmi Ke Liye
Pyaar Se Bhi Zaroori Kayi Kam Hain
Pyaar Sab Kuchh Nahin Zindagi Ke Liye
Chhod De Sari Duniya kisi Ke Liye
Leave this all world for someone

It is not genuine for man
There is so much important work except love.
Love is not all things for life...
Leave this all world for someone
However, there are some movies that also affected and destroy the life of many people’s there
is one bollywood movie DEVDAS Directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali released in 2002 based
on Sarat Chander’s Novel Devdas 1901. After watched this movie mostly youth not simply
became the drug addicted but also leave their families and destructed their own lives.
However, some participants said that Indeed media has changed the meaning of love, love means
care, love means to share, love means trust, and love means faith. But our media shows love illusion
love as lust, live as a game. And the media depicts it wrong. We have seen in media channels that
when two persons fall in love with each other so they became greedy, greed to catch something, can
you wrong as well. But they do not understand that there is no kind of greed in love. And secondly on
the social media we can find totally a changed scenario. Especially on web series, this makes love
lust. Youth is watching interestingly and applying confidentially on their lives.
After all, they said that there is no privacy in nowadays of a relationship what media is
promoting is just interpersonal relations which they called to love and that affections feeling
of love that respect of love and that mind of love does not exist except and few percents of
the population. Mostly boys just think about their benefits which can be gained from the
relationship.
CHAPTER FIVE: CONCLUSION

From the above-given analysis and discussion, it can be concluded that the idealist/romantic
relationships among girls and boys as youth couples are not interpreted as a good relationship
in Sindhi as well as other communities of Pakistan. Whereas, most of the people believe that
before marriage, such relationships among youngsters extremely left negative perceptions on
their lives.
It has also been observed that due to divorce (breakups) before marriage changed the minds
of young people where they going to agree to commit the suicide and also left their parents.
However, divorce (breakup) before marriage has a negative effect on the life of peoples. As
well as, it has also researched that mostly peoples makes relationships before marriage just
because to fulfill their physical needs. Such needs left its behind negative effects where there
peoples understand it as a sinful relation.
At the same time, it is also noted that the stigma of divorce (breakup) before marriage is
exclusively difficult to manage. Where, most of the girls hinder such stigmas in their life
because it restricted their growth in their family as well as in society. And it also depicted that
these idealist relationships between boys and girls less the family reputation in the society.
Where, most of their community members underestimate them as inferior souls.
However, it is analyzed that when a girl going to make idealist relations with a boy then their
community as well as family members present her as “Quean”. Whereas, the same relation if
a boy makes with any girl then what their community and family members feel they feel it as
prideful act.
Whatsoever, we think about media, but it can be concluded that media has changed the real
meaning of love. Where, the media shows such relations as; physically interactions, the
negative side of love and it affects a lot on the youngsters’ mind because after became aware
of such shameful activities shown by media they apply such things in their real life. Wherein,
their real life they became unaware about the realism of love they became orphan from the
beauty of love.
At the last but not least has observed that mostly such romantic relations and after their
breakups it affects a lot on the academic activities of the youth. Where, the education might
be destroyed by such relationships before marriage because it certainly changes the minds of
youth not merely in the education field but in all connected to their lives.
5.1. Suggestions:
There are some suggestions for the youth these are given on the basis of data collected from
different universities students in Sindh Pakistan and mostly at IELL, University of Sindh
Jamshoro Pakistan:
It is suggested that if a girl or boy going to make such idealist relations then they have to first
inform their parents and community members and make them aware of such relations
because most of the community and family members percept such relations as sin and
shameful and they kill their sisters, daughter and even their mothers on the name of “Honour
Killing KARO KAARI”.
It is suggested that before going to make romantic relationships before marriage just be aware
and know the ‘Beauty of Love’.
It is suggested that do not fall in false relationships at universities, schools and colleges
because it should be noted that here you are just for study purpose. We all know that we have
feelings, emotions and imaginations and we however cannot control them if we cannot then
just feel the realty of love, the beauty of love and imagine spreading the fragrance of love and
trying to be away/apart from falsification of love. And if you are going to make a relation
then that must be a pure relationship free from all the universal needs and expectations and
the purest relations is one that meets you with God.
It is also suggested that when you are going to make love relationship with someone thus
should not be on the basis of born emotions by media, because these emotion in actual are not
real these emotions are rustic and temporary as a person who too much hunger when he get
food then his/her hunger will be over but in real love emotion always growing over and over
till death and that love is not on basis of media, movies and modern romantic songs because it
is a natural phenomenon of love that is everlasting.
References:
1. (Sprecher S December 1998, Illinois State University Journal of Social and Personal
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2. Breaking Up is Hard (Fleming & LeRoy, 1939), Wizard of Oz.
3. Religion & Woman’s Gender[ CITATION Osh16 \l 1033 ]. Publication Indus
Academy Karachi.
4. Breakup[ CITATION Sye18 \l 1033 ]. Interview: Love after the breakup.
5. Bramlett, M. D., & Mosher, W. D. (2002). Cohabitation, marriage, divorces, and
remarriage in the United States. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health
Statistics.
6. Baumeister, R. F., Wotman, S. R., & Stillwell, A. M. (1993). Unrequited love: On
heartbreak, anger, guilt, scriptlessness, and humiliation. Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 64, 377-394
7. Field, T. (2011). Romantic break-ups, heartbreak and bereavement. Psychology, 2,
382-387.
8. Boelen, P. A., &Reijntjes, A. (2009). Negative cognitions in emotional problems
following romantic relationship break-ups. Stress and Health, 25, 11-19.
9. Fisher, H. E., Brown, L. L., Aron, A., Strong, G., &Mashek, D. (2010). Reward,
addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of
Neurophysiology, 104, 51-60.
10. Langeslag, S. J. E., & Van Strien, J. W. (2016). Regulation of romantic love feelings:
Preconceptions, strategies and feasibility. PLOS ONE, 11, e0161087.
11. Larson, G. M., &Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Participating in research on romantic breakups
promotes emotional recovery via changes in self-concept clarity. Social Psychological
and Personality Science, 6, 399-406.
12. Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation
processes: implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, 85, 348-362.
13. Sbarra, D. A., & Ferrer, E. (2006). The structure and process of emotional experience
following no marital relationship dissolution: Dynamic factor analyses of love, anger,
and sadness, Emotion, 6, 224-238.
14. Schönfelder, S., Kanske, P., Heissler, J., &Wessa, M. (2013). Time-course of emotion-
related responding during distraction and reappraisal. Social Cognitive and Affective
Neuroscience, 9, 1310-1319.
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temptation: How cognitive load can facilitate self-regulation. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology 104, 427-443.
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Paradigms in Educational Contexts. International Journal of Higher Education, 6(5),
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1 | 35 Divorce Before Marriage (Breakup)

Divorce before Marriage (breakup): A CASE STUDY AT

A Thesis submitted in the partial fulfilment of the requirements for the

(Institute of English Language and Literature)

Institute of English Language and Literature,

University of Sindh, Jamshoro, Pakistan

I dedicate my dissertation work to Sara Shugufta, she suffers again and

CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION

1.2. Statement of problem:

1.3. Research objectives:

2. To illustrate the characteristics of making and breaking up a loving relation in gender

1.4. Research Questions:

CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW

Love law is “using behavioural or cognitive techniques to alternate the depth of

Reappraisal of emotions is a part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and

Distraction is an emotion regulation strategy that entails performing a distracting secondary

Importantly, the LPP amplitude is modulated by means of emotion regulation instructions in

CHAPTER THREE: Research Methodology:

3.1. Research paradigm:

3.2. Research site:

3.3. Population and Sampling:

I will go through judgmental/ purposive sampling. The main thoughtfulness in purposive

3.4. Research Instruments:

According to Nabil (2016), he said researcher himself is an instrument in a qualitative

Interviewing is a commonly used method of collecting information from people. In

3.5. Data collection process

3.6. Data analysis techniques:

CHAPTER FOUR: FINDING AND DISCUSSION

4.1. The Views of Sindhi Society towards Romantic Relationship before

4.1.2. Fewer Acceptances of Romantic Relationship by Sindhi Peoples: In accordance

4.1.3. The Narrow-Mindedness, Religious Perspectives, Illiteracy and Ignorance of Pure

4.2. Common Causes of Breakups Among Youth Couples:

4.2.2. Lack of Trust and Compromise among Couple:

4.2.3. Some Common Reasons:

4.3. Gender Role in Forming and Breaking-up Relations:

4.3.1. Girls Dominancy over Boys:

4.4. The Effects of Breakups on Boys/Girls’ Socially, Culturally and

4.5. The Effects of Breakup Stigma on the Life of Boys/Girls:

4.6. The Ways to Healing and Happiness after Breakup!

4.7. The Effects of Breakup on One’s Education/ Academic Activities:

4.8. The Media Role in Changing the Actual Meaning of Love:

Pyaar kiya to darna kya

Why should we hide and then sigh,

Chhod De Sari Duniya Kisi Ke Liye

Leave this all world for someone

CHAPTER FIVE: CONCLUSION

16. Kivunja, C., &Kuyini, A. B. (2017). Understanding and Applying Research

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