B E I N S PI R ED • B E B R AV E • B E K I N D • B E YO U R S EL F

TEEN Breathe

And the Oscar goes to… • Are selies making you sad? • Take the lead • Age of anxiety
Smile away your cares • Creature comforts • When friends fall out • Age-gap buddies
INSIDE ISSUE 10
2 SMILE AWAY YOUR CARES
A smile a day can keep
unhappiness at bay
6 MIGHTY MOTIVATORS
Why working with friends
can boost self-belief
8 HANDS UP – I WAS WRONG
It’s really not so hard to admit
you’ve made a mistake
10 A SELFIE TOO FAR
Top tips on avoiding selie-sadness
14 LIFE AFTER REJECTION
Don’t let the sting of being
turned down hold you back
16 WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
The reality of being caught in
the middle of warring friends
18 AGE OF ANXIETY
Life is stressful but there are ways
to cope and people to help
20 HAPPY TREES
Branch out with positive messages
22 PHONE-CALL WOES
Dial into all the skills needed to be
conident talking on the phone
24 HAPPY TO LUNCH
Time out to refuel physically and
mentally for an afternoon’s work
26 MIDDAY SPECIALS
Move over limp sarnies, here’s how
to get the taste buds really zinging
28 SHAKE UP YOUR THINKING…
… and get fresh ideas lowing
32 CALM THE TERROR
How to regain conidence after
a sad or distressing time
ON THE COVER: Illustration by Lady Desidia
34 LOOK FURTHER
After all, compliments aren’t
just about appearances
36 CANINE CAPERS
Get tails wagging with this
dog-friendly yoga posture
38 READY TO FLAMINGO?
The beneits of playing hockey
40 LIGHT TOUCH
Caring for loved ones is natural,
but try to give them space, too
42 FOLLOW THE LEADER
What to do if you’re put in charge
44 EXPERIENCE IS EVERYTHING
Improve your chances of getting
a foot inside the world of work
46 CREATURE COMFORTS
Look after wildlife this winter
48 AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...
Direct your inner ilm-maker
54 TIME TO GROW UP (OR IS IT?)
Venturing out of the comfort zone
56 REVENGE OR JUSTICE?
The complex feelings that surface
when someone wrongs you
58 FACEBOOK FAREWELLS
If people’s posts are getting you
down, try reining your friends list
60 AGE-GAP BUDDIES
The beneits of spending time with
grandparents and older people
62 NOVEL PASTIME
Reading in a whole new light
64 TAKE A MOMENT
Try this on-the-go exercise
 WELCOME TO
TEEN Breathe
What do caring, committed and creative have in common? Yes,
they all begin with C (that’s just Teen Breathe crowbarring
in some awful alliteration). But beyond that they’re three of
the top qualities to be found in people who take the lead.
There are many others: fairness, respect and honesty are
another important trio. And the last of these – honesty – isn’t
just about not telling lies or exaggerating. It’s about being able
to admit mistakes, to learn from them and to move on.
It might sound scary (and it is, a little) but smart leaders realise
that to do the job well, whether it’s being deputy head girl or
directing a movie, they need to have people’s trust. Being able
to put their hands up and say ‘I was wrong’ is part of this, as is
being a bit brave and 100 per cent committed to doing their best.
Of course, not everyone chooses to be in charge, but if a leading
role comes your way, try not to be daunted. Remember no one’s
perfect (or needs to be); everyone makes mistakes; there are
many diferent styles of leadership (it’s not all shouty and bossy);
and your team will respect your hard work, honesty and help.

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2
Smile away
your cares
Did you know that
your beautiful smile
has amazing beneits
for both you and the
people around you?
Discover how the simple
act of smiling more
can make the world a
cheerier place

3
 FIVE WAYS TO
BRING MORE
SMILES INTO
YOUR LIFE

1 Have a smile
party. Surround
yourself with
happy, positive-
minded, fun-
loving people,
and focus on
enjoying life’s
light-hearted,
joyful moments.

2 Vow to be a
smiley person
and set out to
Smiling comes naturally when you’re Smile and the world smiles with you
gift a grin to all
carefree and feeling good. It’s easy to It’s true. A genuine smile lights up your
those you meet.
grin when life is going well – but how face and can transmit a sense of hope
about the times when life is challenging,
exhausting and just plain hard work?
In the change from child to adult, the
and positivity. Smiling is contagious.
When you smile at someone, they’ll
usually return the favour because it’s
3 Make time for
self-care. It’s
easier to smile
stresses and strains of responsibilities a natural, unconscious response. If when you’re
can easily make it more of a struggle someone doesn’t return a smile, they’re making space
to smile. The demands of homework, making a conscious efort not to and in your life for
routine, chores, exams, expectations that’s ine. You’re not grinning in order what matters.
and unforeseen diiculties can take you to receive one in return – you’re doing
out of the moment and make you lose
touch with your bright, joyful self.
it because it feels good, regardless of
how the other person reacts.
4 Carry a smile
totem with you
– something that
When this happens, you’re more You’ll probably ind that most people
can’t fail to put a
likely to scowl than grin, but your smile will smile back. It’s heart-warming to be
smile on your face
holds the key to a happier life. on the receiving end of a smile, and it
even when you’ve
Look upon your facial expression as can lift someone’s mood. It can make a
had a challenging
a kind of mood barometer. Are you diference to someone who’s feeling
day. Perhaps it’s
wearing a fair-weather smile or a rainy- alone or sad. A kind smile acts like a hug
a cute animal
day frown? Though it may not feel like and can create a chain reaction. Imagine
picture, funny
it, the choice is actually yours. how many smiley faces originate from
photo or a big
Of course, there will be days when the smile you’ve shared today.
smiley key ring.
you don’t feel like smiling but do it
anyway. Give yourself a big, toothy
grin in the mirror. Smile so your eyes
sparkle and notice how that feels.
5 Make time to
play. Have fun.
Be present in the
Things might not immediately moment. Laugh
change on the outside, but you lots and make
can change how you feel on the grinning your
inside right this moment and that go-to expression
makes all the diference to your of choice.
self-esteem and sense of wellbeing.

4
 DID YOU KNOW?
GET YOUR SMILE ON…
Smiling enhances your mood. When you smile, feelgood
neurotransmitters release dopamine, endorphins and Take a moment to think about
serotonin, the natural chemicals that make you feel happy, the people, pets, spaces and
relaxed and carefree. places that help lift your frown
Whether you have good reason to be happy or not, the and then make a note of them
facial muscles you use to smile can trigger the release of here. Keep your list in a safe
endorphins, so the more you smile the better you feel. place and reach for it when
Smiling not only boosts happy endorphins, it also helps to you’re in need of inspiration.
reduce the stress hormone, cortisol, so you’ll feel less anxious
and more at ease.
As a result of those clever endorphins, smiling is an efective
pain reliever. If you bruise your knee or knock your elbow,
grin and laugh of the pain. It really does help.
When you keep grinning through life’s various challenges,
remembering to wear a natural smile in a situation such as
a job interview – it’ll help you’ll feel uplifted, relaxed,
conident and more positive.
The world-famous smiley face was created in 1963 by the
artist Harvey Ball who understood the power of a smile. In
2001, the Harvey Ball World Smile Foundation was established
in his honour, and a World Smile Day takes place every year.
See worldsmileday.com.
No matter where you go, you don’t need an interpreter for
smiles. Smiling can help you connect with people all over the
world. It’s the universal language of happiness.
Grinning is attractive. It makes you appear warm, friendly and
approachable. If you’re looking to make new friends, build
lasting relationships, and share some happiness with the
world around you, be more generous with your smiles.
WORDS: CAROL ANNE STRANGE. ILLUSTRATION: CÉLESTE WALLAERT. PHOTOGRAPHS: RAWPIXEL.COM

5
 Mighty motivators WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATIONS: ANIESZKA BANKS

Imagine it’s a Sunday evening and you’re doing your art homework or some
last-minute revision – how are you feeling? Are you doing it just so you don’t
get into trouble at school, because your parents are nagging you, or are you
doing it because you’re motivated to do well in that subject and get a sensee
of satisfaction from producing work to the best of your ability?
It’s normal for anyone working on solo projects to experience feelings of
boredom, anxiety or a lack of enthusiasm. The good news is that within easy sy
reach of you are secret aids that can help you to unleash your full potential
and overcome any lingering negative feelings – your friends.
ely,
If you can share your experiences with your peers, and work collaboratively,
the chances are you’ll encourage them and work to the best of your ability. 

6
How encouraging others and sharing ideas
can lead to greater self-motivation… 
Sharing helps
Learning and growing with friends allows you to share
experiences and make more of your own potential than
you might otherwise achieve if you studied alone. They
can encourage you if you get stuck – and you can return
the favour. In a similar way, you can exchange ideas and
tips – a friend might be strong in one of your weaker
subjects and vice versa. Also, knowing others share
your concerns about a project or essay can release anyy
stress or anxiety, while a friend’s enthusiasm for a taskk
can often prove to be infectious.  Extrinsic motivation is when external
 
Use social media
Consider how to share your goals so others can support
you and you can help them. You could consider setting
up a group chat for exam revision facts or tips. Friends
could then add to it or ask questions. It may be you share
images on Instagram or Snapchat, which show your
progress on a task, whether that’s a painting, improving
itness, practising an instrument or developing a skill.
Having friends comment, answer questions and ofer
words of motivation will provide a real boost.
Get together
If you’re working on similar projects or ideas, meet up
for a fun brain-storming hour or two, whether it’s in
a café, a park or at someone’s house. It doesn’t mean
you’re copying each other’s ideas, but you can share,
ask questions and develop your own thoughts and
understanding of the issues. For example, if you’re
revising, you can quiz each other, share resources and
boost each other’s learning. If you’re working on a
physical goal, such as yoga moves or reaching itness
targets, practising together can help you progress
quicker. Everyone will be at diferent levels or stages,
of course,, but collaborative working
g can make thingsg
more fun and more interesting.
THE PSYCHOLOGY
MOTIVATION 
OF MOTIVATION
Understanding
Und about the psychology
of motivation
m can help you be a better
motivator
mo of yourself and others. There
are
ar two main types of motivation:
factors encourage success, such as a
reward or money – or even the threat
of something happening, such as being
grounded or losing a phone for a week.
Intrinsic motivation is based on inner
factors and your own personal desire
to do or achieve something because of
a sense of satisfaction, pleasure or your
deep-rooted self-determination.
Which type of motivation works?
Frequently, people are inspired by both
types of motivation. For example, if
you’re taking part in a competition, your
motivation might be to win a medal but
it’s likely you would also want the inner
satisfaction of doing your best.
When you think about how to work
with your friends, consider ways in which
you can remind each other that it’s not
just about extrinsic motivation and doing oing
things because you have to, butt because
tisfaction
you want a personal sense of satisfaction
of having done something well.
Say,y, for example, a friend has to go
running in the th rain because they’re
preparing for a big event. You could
run with them and remind them of the
bene ts it will bring you both but
physical benei
there’s also th that added motivation for them
of achieving – or beating – a personal target. 
In this way, you might come to see that
a positive mindset
min can be infectious.
7
 Hands up – I was wrong
Everyone gets something wrong or makes a mistake at some point
in their life, so why is it so diicult to own up to an innocent blunder?
It can be an awful feeling when you realise you’ve said
or done something wrong. Maybe you shared a piece of
incorrect gossip about the new pupil in your class, told a
friend something that turned out to be totally false or gave
someone the wrong date for a special event which meant
they missed out. Whatever the reason for being wrong,
having to admit it, often with an apology, can make your
stomach churn, your face lush, and your pulse race.
No one relishes putting up their hand to say: ‘I was
wrong.’ You become accountable for your mistake and
that can make you feel awkward, embarrassed, ashamed
and less than perfect. Admitting a mistake challenges
your pride and can dent your ego. Saying you were wrong
8
WORDS: CAROL ANNE STRANGE. ILLUSTRATION: MATT CHINWORTH
means having to accept that you’re not always right or
perfect, and that can feel deeply uncomfortable.
Of course, having a sense of pride in yourself isn’t a bad
thing. When you take pride in your good qualities, abilities,
appearance and achievements, it’s positive and encourages
healthy feelings of self-worth. Problems arise when you
have an inlated opinion of yourself and become too proud
to admit, and take responsibility for, your mistakes.
Stubborn pride
When pride rules, you believe you’re always right, even
when you’re proven wrong. Stubborn pride foolishly
protects an inbuilt need to be seen as being perfect. It can
make you self-righteous and your ego will simply not stand
down or admit failure. To do so would reveal your laws and
weaknesses and your pride doesn’t want this.
As a result, some people will go to great lengths to avoid
owning up to being wrong. They will deny, make excuses,
attack, or blame someone or something else because it’s
easier than looking within and inding they’re at fault.
No one likes an arrogant ‘know-it-all’, especially one who
never confesses to being wrong. This unattractive side
of being too proud to admit your mistakes has an impact
on yourself and others. It can ruin friendships and spoil
experiences. Relationships are at risk, leading to a loss of
trust, love and respect. It can ill you with angst and even
guilt for not doing what you know is right – and this, in
turn, can damage your self-worth in the long run.
Strength of character
Imagine switching of your pride for a moment and focus
purely on the facts of a situation that has resulted in you
making a mistake. When you look upon the matter
objectively, without consequence to yourself, it’s usually
plain to see the right course of action to take. When you
can say you were wrong and ofer a genuine apology, it
will help to clear up a situation that might otherwise linger
on for years and tarnish your memories.
Owning up to your mistake and taking responsibility
means that you can move forward with a clear conscience.
Finding the courage to say you were wrong will feel
like a burden has been lifted. There is a certain dignity in
showing that you can rise above your personal pride and
do the right thing. It demonstrates integrity, authenticity
and strength of character. It shows that you value your
relationships over the importance of being right.
This vulnerability and humility makes you more
approachable. People will see you in a fresh light. It will
earn you respect, trust and admiration, and will enable
you to grow into a well-rounded individual.
So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and don’t be too
proud to say you got it wrong. You are human and on a
beautiful, but sometimes challenging, journey that will
often test you. Keep your pride in check, have the courage
to do what feels right and learn from experience.
TIME TO REFLECT
Take a few moments to consider when pride has stopped
you from saying and doing the right thing…
When was the last time you felt too proud to own
up to your mistake and say you were wrong?
By not admitting you said or did something wrong,
what happened (or didn’t happen) as a result?
How did this make you feel?
What could you have said to change the situation?
9
10
 are selfies making
you sad?
Posting pictures of yourself on social media can be easy and fun. But it can also cause anxiety
and insecurity. Here’s how to steer clear of selie-sadness

There was a time when no one would dare take photos
of themself for fear of looking too vain, or obsessed with
themselves and their looks. But now everyone does it –
and so often that it even got its own word, ‘selie’, and a
place in the dictionary. Smartphones make it super-easy
and their nifty editing ilters often produce funny and
quirky results – many of which are promptly posted. But
how many selies are too many? Can you be addicted to
taking them? And could they be afecting your conidence?
Copying Kim and Kylie
A whopping 17 million selies are uploaded to social media
every week in the UK. Many are posted by teenage girls,
following in the footsteps of reality TV and red-carpet
favourites Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner, who regularly
share images of their ‘perfect’ pouting selves. For some,
taking selies becomes such a habit that they post to their
Instagram stories or Snapchat from the moment they wake
up to the time when their head hits the pillow.
Addicted to attention
For self-confessed selie addicts, taking photos of
themselves is like a diary, documenting their day – but
they’re sharing it with their hundreds or thousands of
followers. ‘I post all day,’ said one 15-year-old Teen Breathe
reader. ‘I’m not obsessed but I know people who are and
really want people to like or comment on their image. If
they don’t get many likes, they’ll remove the picture.’
For some, posting selies is a bit like a test to see how
attractive people think they are. It’s normal to want to
receive reassurance, but it can lead to low self-esteem if you
judge yourself by the number of likes and comments that
are put up. ‘When lots of people like what you’ve posted,
you get a real boost,’ said another Teen Breathe reader,
14. ‘That’s why people keep posting. But people can also
post negative comments and that can be upsetting.’

Making comparison
It’s almost impossible not to compare yourself to the
people who populate your social media feeds with their
seemingly perfect pictures, but it’s important to remember
that people rarely post their true selves. Instead, they opt
for heavy make-up and suggestive poses. Often, older
people are trying to look younger while younger folk are
trying to make out they’re in their late teens or even 20s.
This is where apps come in – removing spots, blemishes
and scars; brightening skin, teeth and eyes; plumping up
cheeks. Ultimately, they’re disguising reality. Anyone can
fake perfection with a ilter on their face, so try not to
compare yourself to their posts. Similarly, it’s easy for
people’s posts to give the impression they’re always having
fun, but who’s going to upload a picture of themself
looking miserable, tired or red-eyed? Many of the images
you see may be sun-kissed and sensational, but pictures
rarely relect the true day-to-day realities of life.

11
 SELFIES – THE
ALTERNATIVES
Make your social media feed
interesting in a diferent way by
sharing photos of things you see
and interesting scenes.
If you feel brave, post images of
the ‘real’ you, such as a make-up
free image or just a natural shot
rather than a posed or highly
edited one. It might inspire your
friends to do the same.
If you’re posting selies because
you feel low, boost your mood
by doing some exercise, chatting
to friends or doing an activity
that relaxes you.
Remember to try not to compare
yourself to others based on the
selies they post – most are not
true depictions of real life.
Funny-face ilters can be great,
but limit their reach to close
friends and family.
12
Ignore the haters
Putting your photo out for public approval will often attract positive,
self-esteem-boosting comments – but there’ll always be someone
who’s jealous or struggling with their own self-esteem who’ll post
hurtful remarks, often anonymously. One cruel sentence on Instagram
or Snapchat can seriously dent a person’s conidence no matter how
self-assured they seem or how hard they try to ignore it.
Stay selie safe
To ensure you’re selie safe, set your social media sites to private
(otherwise anyone can see them). It’s also useful to know the people
following you. Social media doesn’t have to be a popularity contest, so WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
don’t be concerned by the number of likes you receive. Some people
post for the numbers and have hundreds of followers (most of whom
they don’t know). You can choose to be diferent and ensure that the
people liking your pictures are people you know.
Avoid the addiction
Addiction is a strong word, but it’s important to keep an eye on how
many selies you post and why you’re doing it. Do you enjoy the
excitement of getting likes? Do you post because you need a boost?
Or are you posting because it’s a genuine, nice photo of yourself, taken
at a special event, that you wish to share? If you ind that posting
selies is more about seeking approval than sharing a funny or nice
photo, it might be time to think about changing your selie habit.
 How many posts have you shared this week?
draw your favourites and savour the memory
13
 Find the bright side
after rejection
The sting of rejection comes to everyone, but the challenge is not
to get too disheartened – better times are just around the corner
Whether it’s being sidelined suddenly by a group of friends
or being told you’ve not made the sports team, rejection
hurts. It can be painful and embarrassing and leave you
feeling insecure. But one thing is for sure – at some point,
everyone experiences the harsh emotion of being rejected.
It could be being ignored by people you like or not being
selected for a role. Rejection could come from not being
ofered a place after a college or job interview.
Wherever it comes from, rejection stings and some
people can become so insecure about the possibility of it
happening again that they end up avoiding many exciting
opportunities, in an attempt to swerve that sense of hurt
again. However, there are many ways to deal with those
feelings and bounce back, so you can learn to accept
rejection instead of living your life in fear of it.
1 Accept it hurts
Being rejected for whatever reason may cause real
emotional pain so don’t be afraid to express the feelings
you experience and take time out to process events.
Cry, shout and write down how you feel – anything you
need to do to get those feelings out. It’s helpful to give
them a label when you write or talk about them. For
example, ‘I feel upset that…’ These are your feelings and
they’re normal. Wallow in that hurt for a short while, as
it will then be easier to move forward.
If you keep the feelings in, they’ll slowly eat away at you
and the situation will be harder to overcome. Set yourself
a time limit to feel sorry for yourself, and then get ready to
face the world again. If you go overboard and spend too
long feeling sorry for yourself, you could be wasting vital
time that could be better used embracing exciting new
opportunities and making new connections.
2 Talk it out
Share how you feel with a friend, family member or
teacher who you know will be a good listener. Everyone
14
will have experienced what you’re feeling and once you’ve
told someone else, you’ll start to feel less hurt and they’ll
give you some comforting words and advice, too.
Other people can give you a diferent perspective and
also make you see the reality of the situation and how
what seems a big deal right now is not as important as
you think. It’s also good to put your feelings into words
as acknowledging them can help you move on.
Think about the kind of advice you’d give someone in
your situation. It may help you to realise there are other
solutions and opportunities ahead. However, it might not
be a good idea to talk about it on social media, especially
if you’re upset and angry. You might regret it in future
when your perspective has shifted (as it inevitably will).
3 Look back and then move forward
When you’re ready, consider what happened exactly
and why it didn’t work out. Was it something beyond
your control? Was there anything you could have done
diferently or would do diferently in the same situation?
It may be it’s just bad luck but it could also be you learn
something from what has happened. The important thing
is not to exaggerate your faults or look for reasons you
weren’t chosen or were left out.
It’s easy to be very self-critical after being rejected,
whatever the reasons, and you may ind yourself saying
things such as ‘No one likes me’ or ‘I’m rubbish’, but try
to stick to the facts. Be kind to yourself, otherwise you’ll
develop a deeper fear of rejection, which in turn will mean
you’ll stop putting yourself in situations where you can
be accepted and enjoy success.
4 It will sting but not for long
Rejection isn’t always about not being made a sports
captain or a prefect, or being sidelined by a friend you
really liked. It could be that no one gets a joke you make,
you were left of the invite list for a party or you simply
 feel ignored in a chat. It’s part of life, so try not to be too
hard on yourself. Instead, congratulate yourself for trying or
taking a risk, especially if it made you feel uncomfortable.
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: KATERINA GORELIK
In need of a quick conidence boost? Think of all the
times you’ve enjoyed those giddy feelings of success in the
past. You will triumph again and you’ll probably appreciate
it more after overcoming obstacles to achieve it.
5  Be philosophical
Often, rejection isn’t a personal attack on you. The other
person – or people – rejected you and the ‘issue’ is with
them. Does it mean you’re worthless and not a good
person? No. The situation just hasn’t worked out for you.
It may be useful to remember the sage advice ‘everything
happens for a reason’: consider what positives you can get
from this and look for ways to turn it into a valuable new
learning experience? Can you develop a necessary skill
that you might have otherwise been lacking? You can use
rejection to improve an aspect of yourself. One opportunity
may not have worked out, but something else will.
Think positively and become a stronger person from it.
Have belief that this is part of your unique journey in life
and better things will come for you. Yes, rejection can be
a harsh reality check, but it can actually nudge you in a
better direction for the long term.
6  Give yourself an ‘internal’ hug
A quick way to restore your conidence after rejection
is to remember all of the amazing qualities you have. Why
not take a moment now to jot some of them down?
15
 Whose side are you on?
Being part of a group of close-knit friends is great fun… until a couple of your mates fall out
and you’re stuck in the middle of their squabbling. When two people you care about argue,
it can put you in a diicult situation and place an enormous amount of pressure on you. But
there are ways for you to deal with it to ensure you remain friends with both, avoid stressful
situations and, hopefully, help them make up and move on

Stay neutral Avoid pressure

1 If your friends have fallen out,
it doesn’t mean they have to split up
with you, too. Their conlict shouldn’t
afect your relationship with them,
so remind everyone that you’re there
for both of them and this won’t
change whatever happens. If they’re
good friends, they’ll respect you for
staying loyal to both of them.
2 During fall outs, insecure
friends can sometimes react selishly
and may even demand you only
remain friends with them. If they
do this, they’ll be putting you in
a diicult situation. A good friend
won’t try to emotionally blackmail
you or intimidate you to be disloyal
to anyone else.

16
 Listen without prejudice
3 You might not agree with their
opinions, but take time to listen if
they want to talk about the fall out.
It would be easy to say you don’t
want to hear it and wish to stay out
of the debate, but for some, talking
is their way to move forward and
release pent-up emotions. If they ask
your opinion, don’t start being mean
about the other person or agree
with any negative comments. It’ll
end badly for you when they make
up. Instead, try to ind a way to help
them resolve the issue, but insist you
aren’t there to take sides.
Respect their decision
4 While it may be tempting to
try to get them to make up straight
away, respect that they may not be
ready for that even though it would
make your life easier. Avoid forcing
them to talk to each other or having
to spend time together if they need
time and space to fully process
what’s happened. Sometimes they
may just need breathing room to
realise their mistakes and hopefully
they’ll be able to reconcile themselves
without your input.
Don’t be the messenger
5
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: ANIESZKA BANKS
Avoid stressful situations that
may be caused by agreeing to pass
messages between the two. You’ll be
the one who ends up caught in the
arguments and being dragged into
their disputes – and probably receive
criticism yourself if the message is
misunderstood. If you’re asked to take
on the role of a go-between, suggest
they ind a way to communicate with
each other directly or ofer to be
a mediator between them.
Attempt reconciliation Be patient
6 If you think it might work, 9 It’s hard to be patient when
and it’s the right time, encourage it’s a tense situation, but accept they
them to make up. Ensure you have may not make up quickly. If you
a good understanding of what’s struggle with the mediation, seek
happened before getting involved. advice from other friends or speak
Often problems are caused by to both parties to see what they
misunderstandings – can you point want to happen. If they’re true
this out? Is it a petty argument that friends, they will get over any small
quickly got out of hand? Sometimes, arguments with or without your
people need reminding that life is help. Friendships and friendship
too short for silly arguments and it groups change many times
may make them question whether throughout life so it could be their
it’s worth falling out for. relationship wasn’t meant to be.
What’s most important is you
Be the mediator surround yourself with healthy,
7 Arrange for your friends to positive people who realise you’re
meet with you at a neutral place. a really good friend.
Acting as the mediator in the middle,
try to make them see you’re there
to help everyone to move forward
because you want them to be friends.
Suggest guidelines about arguing,
raising voices, respecting each other
and give each person time to talk. See
if you can work out a way for them to
forgive, apologise and move on. If
you can’t, at least you tried.
Focus on behaviour
8 – don’t make it personal
Sometimes it may be that you
disagree with a friend’s comments
or behaviour. Depending on your
relationship, you may be able to
make them realise what they’ve
done and encourage them to
apologise. To avoid conlict, when
you speak to them, focus on their
behaviour and what they’ve done
rather than getting personal and
criticising them or being judgmental.
Communicating in a calm, polite
and kind way will hopefully inspire
them to do the same.
17
 age of anxiety
Do you often feel anxious or stressed? If not,
perhaps you have a friend or relative who
feels this way. Social media, excessive use of
the internet, gaming, peer pressure, family
issues and exams are some of the reasons
given for feeling under pressure, anxious or
unable to relax.
If you do ever feel anxious, you don’t have
to sufer in silence and think there’s nothing
that can help. Try some of these suggestions
to help regain some inner peace and feel
ready to take on the world again…
18
1  Be kind
It’s important to stop being hard on yourself. Imagine
the advice you’d give to a friend who conided they felt the
way you do at the moment, and then take your own advice.
If you’d suggest they speak to someone else who might be
able to help, pamper themselves, or just stop worrying so
much about what others think – do this yourself.
2  Plan treats
Ensure you have nice days or evenings planned for
future days and weeks so you have events to look forward
to. It could be catching up with an old friend, heading to
the cinema to watch an exciting release, getting a new
hairstyle or cooking something you really love. Having
something positive in the diary will raise your spirits.
 3  Turn of your phone
For a few hours, have no access to the internet or social
media. At irst, it will feel diicult, but the more you do it,
8  Food for thought
Some foods and drinks can raise anxiety levels. If you’re
stressed, try not to have too many cafeine-packed cofees
the more you’ll realise how stressed all those constant and hot chocolates or sugar-rich sweets. Instead, opt for
refreshes and updates can make you and how much time food deemed as calming or anxiety reducing, such as
you spend looking at the screen. You’ll also realise you yoghurt, bananas and dark leafy greens.
don’t need it as much as you think. It’s also a good idea not
to have your phone near you at night as this can interrupt
your sleep. Give your brain a break and occupy it with other
things, such as reading, meditation, yoga, exercise or sleep.
9  Write it down
Make a list of the things that are stressing you at the
moment and then start to consider how you can tackle
each one in turn. Perhaps share the list with someone you

4  Get outside
It’s easy to forget how much of a lift you can get from
being outside in fresh air and nature, so try to give yourself
some time to take notice of it. Go for a walk somewhere
nice, take your dog out or go to the park and read, taking
in the nature and fresh air around you. Make a point of
really noticing all the things around you that you might
not always appreciate.
trust so they can help you explore what you could do.
Writing things down is also a great way to release anxiety
and give you some clarity of thought. You might want to
set yourself a few minutes a day to note stressful thoughts
and only allow yourself to worry during this time.
10  Know when to get help
If your anxiety doesn’t improve and starts afecting
your everyday life, speak to your parents, teachers or GP

5  Breathe
Focusing on your breathing will help you slow down
your mind and reduce feelings of tension and anxiety. With
who will be able to advise you where to get help. There are
many organisations out there who have experience of
helping people who get anxious and will be able to assist
the tip of your tongue resting just behind your teeth, inhale you. Remember: you aren’t alone, so never sufer in silence.
through the nose for the count of four, hold for six and
exhale slowly through the mouth. Repeating this several
times will relax you and also help your mind and body.

6  Let go of worries
Time is often wasted worrying about things you’ve said
or done. Remember, you can’t do anything about the past
apart from learn from it. That one spelling mistake in your
homework – it doesn’t matter now. Instead, consider all the
good things you’ve done. Another thing you might worry
about is what others, often people you barely know, think.
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

If this is you, focus only on your opinions and those of your

closest family and friends. You can’t change other people’s
minds about you or what you do, look like or wear, but you
can change how you deal with it.

7  Sleep
Ensure you get the sleep you need. Have a regular
bedtime and wake-up time and try not to look at your
phone before going to sleep. Also avoid hot showers or
baths just before sleep as you need a while to cool down
before getting your Zs. Is that phone still to hand? You
could use it to try a podcast or app that has soothing
sounds or listen to some guided help to help you relax.

19
 Happy trees
Looking at a tree can change the way you feel. It’s something
that many have discovered. Research by the Woodland Trust
revealed that almost 80 per cent of people believed trees
were essential for relaxing and making them feel happier.
It could be their powerful roots that connect with the
earth and keep them grounded; their strong trunks that
support a web of branches; their leaves that cast wondrous
shadows; or their buds and berries that relect the seasons.
Next time you’re walking near a tree, stop for a moment
and observe it. Look closely at its leaves – their colours,
20
shapes and markings. Each one’s diferent, relecting its
own personality. Now think about how you might connect
this natural link to your own life and enjoy being creative at
the same time. One way to do this is by growing your own
happy tree and decorating it with well-nurtured leaves
carrying encouraging and uplifting messages.
Don’t worry about whether you’re ‘good at art’. The
process of being creative focuses the mind, which can help
you to relax. It’s also a great way to step away from any
worries and cares. Here’s how to grow your happy tree…
 HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY TREE
Choose your materials
Select your background. It might
be a purpose-made canvas, an
old cardboard box or a piece of
plain white paper.
There are many things you can
use to create the roots, trunk,
branches and leaves of your tree.
You could collect a few real leaves
that have fallen to the ground;
scrap paper left over from other
projects; old cereal boxes; string,
or – if you’re feeling lush – perhaps
buy some pretty coloured card
from the local stationery shop.
You could also think about how
you might create your tree from
something that might otherwise
be thrown away or left unloved,
which can make you feel good
and is kinder to the environment.
Finally, you’ll need to get hold of
environmentally friendly adhesive
(a web search for ‘green glue’ or
‘eco glue’ will suggest some
options) to set your tree in place.
Create the leaves
If you’re not using real leaves, use
scissors to shape some from your
chosen materials. Be inventive
with this – they don’t have to be a
conventional shape, size or colour.
Blue stars? Why not? Let your
imagination run wild and create
whatever comes to mind.
Add your happy words
Use pens or paints to write
WORDS: SIMONE SCOTT. ILLUSTRATION: LAURA BACKEBERG
something that makes you feel
happy on each leaf. Take time to
think of all the people and things
that bring a lovely warm glow or
make you smile. It might be a close
friend, a parent or grandparent,
your pet, sitting on the beach (or
under a tree), or even a memory
of a few hours curled up with a
good book. Think about the words
you’re using and connect with
them as you’re writing.
Create the roots and trunk
You could draw or use string to
plant some roots and then add
pieces of card, paper or layer up
some of your happy leaves to
create the trunk. It’s your tree, so
use your creative spark to make
whatever feels good for you.
Branch out
Happy leaves, string, card or paper
can be arranged, layered or cut out
so that you have as many or as few
branches as you would like. Then
it’s time to place your carefully
nurtured happy leaves. You might
choose to mix and match them;
move them around; or add more
until it’s the way you want. Play
around with several arrangements
and see which one feels right for
you, reading the happy messages
and enjoying all the textures of
the materials as you go.
Solo tree or a forest?
This can be a mindful solo
experience, or you can make it a
more sociable activity by inviting
friends to join you in creating one
big tree of happiness. If you share
the experience, plan ahead and
decide who’ll bring what to help
spread the cost of any expenses.
Relect
You may like to pin your inished
tree up on your bedroom wall, or
put it somewhere where it’s easy
to see and an uplifting visual
reminder of the wonderful things
in your life. Then, if you’re ever
feeling a little low, it’ll be a
welcome boost of happiness.
Allow your creative juices
to low as you grow, and
connect with the happy,
healing power of trees.
21
 Hung up
about
phone
calls?
WhatsApp and Snapchat are great tools for
communicating with friends, but learning
how to have a conident phone conversation
is an important skill to master, too

You have to make a phone call – perhaps to ask about work

experience, ind out what time the swimming pool opens,
or order takeaway food. How do you feel? Do you go ahead
and dial without a pause or second thought, or are you one
of the many who experience ‘phone anxiety’?

What is phone anxiety?

If you’re anxious about using the phone, you might worry
about making a call, put it of, or avoid the task completely
by messaging or emailing instead. When on the phone, you
might ind your voice suddenly dries up, you don’t know
what to say, or you just can’t seem to get your words out in
the right order. These are all common signs of being
nervous or anxious. Although these feelings are usually
temporary and disappear once you’ve made the call, phone
anxiety can mean you forget to ask about the thing you
called for, you don’t fully take in what’s being said, or you
miss out entirely by not making the call in the irst place.

22
 Why do people experience phone anxiety?
Phone calls are no longer the everyday habit they once
were. The rapid development of digital technologies over
the past two decades means it’s now more common to
‘talk’ via text or instant messaging. You might not make
frequent phone calls and, as with anything, the less familiar
you are with a particular task, the more likely you are to
lack conidence when you do have to do it.
Speaking on the telephone can seem more challenging
than other forms of communication. Social media, email
and texts give you time to consider what you want to say.
There’s less pressure to respond immediately. You have
space to think about what people might really mean and
what your answer is going to be. On the phone, however,
even brief pauses can feel awkward and uncomfortable.
You might feel rushed into giving a response.
Phone calls are, of course, diferent from face-to-face
interaction. In conversation, people use lots of non-verbal
clues – such as eye contact, facial expression, body
language, gesture and context – to help them convey
their message and understand the other person.
When speaking on the phone, these helpful signals –
that might be taken for granted when you’re chatting to
someone in person – are missing, leaving those on the call
with some guesswork to do. Researchers suggest we might
understand only seven per cent of a message from the
actual words heard. The remaining 93 per cent of
deciphering comes from how these words are conveyed
(eg, tone of voice) and contextual clues (eg, body language).
It’s no wonder communicating on the phone seems tricky.
Why is the phone necessary?
Although the phone might not be your preferred or most
popular choice of communication, it’s still useful to learn
how to make a phone call with conidence.
Having conversations in this way can strengthen
relationships. Hearing a friend’s voice can help you to feel
more connected than simply seeing their words appear
on a screen. Sometimes the phone is the quickest way to
get the information you need – when you start working, it
could also be essential. As with anything, often all it takes
WORDS: VICKY H BOURNE. PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
is a little bit of practice to feel a lot more conident.
HOW TO MAKE
MORE CONFIDENT
PHONE CALLS
Stand tall. Although the other person on
the call can’t see you, your body language still
makes a big diference to your attitude – and
they can pick up on that. Standing up to make a
phone call might help you feel more conident.
Distribute your weight evenly across both feet,
roll your shoulders back and down and take a
few slow breaths. Smile when you’re speaking
to release tension and feel more relaxed.
Prepare. Before the call, make notes of
any questions you want to ask so you have a
reminder if your mind suddenly goes blank.
Have a pen and paper to hand to jot down
important information during the call.
Rehearse important conversations. If you
have an important or signiicant call to make,
such as enquiring about a part-time job, try to
practise irst with a supportive friend or family
member. You might feel a little silly, but role play
helps to improve conidence and performance.
Ask for feedback on what you did well and what
you should consider doing diferently.
Remove distractions. It can be diicult to
concentrate when there’s background noise.
Move to a quieter place to make your call.
Don’t take it personally. It can be easy to
misinterpret other people’s intentions without
the usual conversational clues. If you receive a
short or less than helpful response, remember
the other person might be tired, preoccupied
or like you, also dislike using the phone. Always
remain polite, ask for the information you need
and inish the call in a pleasant way.
‘Catch’ your worries. The listener can’t see
your red face or shaking hands. They’re also
unlikely to notice simple slips of the tongue or
a croaky voice. It’s easy to worry about things
others don’t even register.
Ask for repetition or clariication when
you need it. Don’t be afraid to say you didn’t
hear or understand. It happens all the time on
the phone. Try saying: ‘I didn’t quite catch that.
Could you repeat it, please?’ or ‘Would you be
able to explain that again, please?’
23
 Happy to
lunch
Who doesn’t love the lunchtime bell? It signals the end
of a lesson, the start of the longest break of the day and,
importantly, food. It means a chance to refuel physically
and refocus the mind for an afternoon’s swatting…

NUTRITION AND HYDRATION FOR CONCENTRATION

Research shows that students who
eat a nutritious lunch are more likely
to achieve better scores in tests and
exams compared to those who don’t.
This could be because the bodies of
those pupils are being provided with
the essential nutrients and boost
of energy needed for upcoming
lessons. The brain runs on glucose
(a breakdown of carbohydrate), which
is why people can start to feel fuzzy-
headed and don’t function at their
best when they haven’t eaten for an
extended period of time.
Whether you choose to have a
cooked meal in school, eat outside of
the grounds or take a packed lunch,
there are four elements that should
be present to keep things interesting
– a main dish, a side dish, a snack
or dessert and a drink. Each one of
these has its own purpose:
MAIN
To stay fuelled all afternoon your
main dish should combine a protein
source, such as eggs, chicken, beans
or cottage cheese; a slow-release
carbohydrate, maybe seeded bread,
sweet potato, basmati rice or pasta;
and a source of ibre, which could be
salad or vegetables.
Wholegrains such as wholemeal
pasta, as well as vegetables, are a
great source of B vitamins, which help
the body to release energy from the
foods you eat throughout the day.
Healthy fats are essential for brain
function, so adding a drizzle of olive
oil or a sprinkling of feta cheese to
your main dish will help to enhance
nutrient uptake and keep your brain
and heart healthy. So you could, for
example, have a baked potato
(carbohydrate) with cottage cheese
(protein), rocket (ibre) and a drizzle
of olive oil (healthy fat).
SIDE
Add some colour or crunch. A side
dish allows you to add another portion
of your ive-a-day and include texture
to make your lunch more interesting
to eat. It could be a side salad with
chopped fruit and nuts.
SNACK
You might enjoy this as a dessert or
during the afternoon break. Either
way, a little bit of what you fancy does
you good and a healthy balanced
lunch is just that – balanced, meaning
you can aford a bit of indulgence, so
maybe a packet of crisps or a small
chocolate bar. There’s no need to
deny yourself little treats.
DRINK
Maintaining optimal hydration levels
– in other words, drinking enough
luid – helps the body to maintain
vital functions including keeping
the brain working at its best. A lack
of luid (dehydration) can lead to
headaches, which can in turn distract
you from daily tasks and afect your
ability to complete physical exercises.
Aim to drink at least eight glasses
of luid a day (or more if you’re
exercising or it’s warm outside – if
your pee’s a pale straw colour you’re
on the right lines). And the more you
sweat, the more you’ll need to drink.
Keep a water bottle with you
to encourage you to drink more
and don’t forget about herbal teas
to add variety and lavour. Regular
teas and cofees also count towards
your luid intake, as do smoothies,
milk and soups.

24
 NOW YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES UP A NUTRITIOUS LUNCH,
TRY THESE IDEAS FOR SOME INSPIRATION:

MENU MAIN SIDE SNACK DRINK

Salmon and cream Rocket salad with Natural yoghurt with
1 cheese cucumber wrap walnuts raspberries
Orange juice (150ml)

Oat-based cereal bar

Caesar salad bites Roasted chickpeas
2 (see page 26) with paprika
(homemade or Apple juice (150ml)
shop-bought)

Sweet potato with

Hummus and carrots
3 sweetcorn, tuna and
or pitta bread
Small bar of chocolate Still or sparkling water
feta cheese

Cheesy pesto wheels

4 (see page 27)
Greek salad Cucumber and tzatziki Fruit smoothie (150ml)

Chicken salad with Orange segments

Avocado naan
5 grated carrot and
(see page 27)
dipped in dark Milk
yoghurt chocolate

TURN THE PAGE FOR SOME DELICIOUS AND SIMPLE LUNCHTIME RECIPES
WORDS: NICHOLA LUDLAM-RAINE. NICHOLA IS A REGISTERED DIETITIAN AND HEALTH BLOGGER AT NICSNUTRITION.COM

HEALTHY BODY AND MIND

The most important thing to remember when it comes to performing at your best is to get the basics
right, which means in addition to eating a healthy balanced diet and staying hydrated, it’s useful to try
to make sure you’re sleeping well and exercising regularly, too

Sleep for concentration Exercise for concentration

How do you feel and function when you’ve had a lack of Keep your body moving throughout
sleep the night before? I, for one, do not feel 100 per cent the day so that you’re less likely to
and ind myself thinking about ‘how tired I am’, rather than become restless or sluggish. The
the task in hand. Sleep is vital for brain function, which digestive system needs movement
includes thought processing, concentration, productivity to work efectively and the body is
and performance. Lack of sleep can hinder all of these designed to move, not to sit all day.
functions and afect memory and problem-solving skills, Using stairs rather than the lift is an
too. Research has also shown that sleep deprivation can easy way to include exercise in your
lead to people eating more fatty and sugary foods the next day and taking a 10-minute walk
day as the brain is literally craving energy. during lunch is a great midday boost.
Most students require around nine hours of sleep a night Keeping moving will also help to
and ideally it should be undisrupted. Getting enough sleep increase the amount of oxygen to
and adequate rest can help to keep you more focused and the brain, which boosts afternoon
productive during the day. productivity and energy levels.

25
 Midday specials
Lunch doesn’t have to mean cheese, ham or hummus sarnies on a neverending loop.
Be inventive with ingredients and look at recipes to adapt. Here, we’ve chosen enticing
snacks by Jessica Oldield and turned them into tasty additions for our lunchboxes.
Simply adjust the proportions to match your other lunchtime treats

CAESAR SALAD BITES

Preparation: 10 minutes
Cooking: 10 minutes
Serves 4 as party snacks or 1-2 full slices of sourdough
with toppings would make up a main element of lunch

4 slices of sourdough (5mm), baked at (400°F/200°C/

Gas 6) until crisp, then broken in half
4 tbsp roasted garlic dressing (see below)
1 baby-gem lettuce leaf, torn into 8 pieces
90g halloumi, sliced into 8 pieces and fried until golden
Salt
20g grated Parmesan-style cheese
½ lemon, cut into wedges, to serve

1. Spread the 8 sourdough pieces with a layer

of dressing, reserving some.
2. Put a piece of lettuce and halloumi on top,
then dollop on the reserved dressing.
3. Top with grated cheese and season with salt.
4. Repeat for 8 bites, then serve with lemon wedges.

ROASTED GARLIC DRESSING

Preparation: 45 minutes including roasting
Makes about 300ml

2 heads of garlic, roasted whole

(approx 40 mins until tender)
250g plain Greek yoghurt
½ tsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
¼ teaspoon salt

1. Squeeze the roasted garlic from the skins into a bowl

and discard the skins.
2. Add all other ingredients and blend with a stick blender
until smooth.
3. Store in airtight container in the fridge for 3 to 5 days.

26
 CHEESY PESTO WHEELS
Preparation: 10 minutes + chilling: 30 minutes
Cooking: 20 minutes
Serves 8 as party snacks or 4-6 wheels would make up
a main element of lunch

2 tbsp pesto (see below)

1 sheet (24x24cm) puf pastry, thawed
100g grated Cheddar
1 tbsp dried cranberries, roughly chopped
1 egg, lightly beaten

1. Spread the pesto over the pastry sheet, leaving

a 1cm border around the edge.
2. Scatter over the cheese and cranberries. Brush
the edges with the beaten egg.
3. Starting from one side, roll up the pastry tightly
to enclose the illing.
4. Wrap the roll in cling ilm and chill for 30 minutes.
5. Preheat the oven to (400°F/200°C/Gas 6).
6. Brush the roll with egg, then cut it into 8 slices.
AVOCADO NAAN 7. Place each slice, cut-side up, on a paper-lined
baking tray.
Preparation: 10 minutes 8. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden.
Serves 6 as party snacks or 2-3 slices would make up
a side for lunch PESTO
1 naan bread Preparation: 10 minutes
2 avocados Makes about 250g
Salt
Juice of 1 lemon 4 tbsp pine nuts, lightly toasted
80ml light tahini 100g basil leaves
100ml iced water 1 tbsp hemp seeds (optional)
Seeds from ½ pomegranate Finely grated zest of 1 lemon
35g coconut lakes, toasted 1 tbsp lemon juice
Large handful of coriander leaves, roughly chopped 80ml extra-virgin olive oil
Extra-virgin olive oil, to drizzle (optional) ½ small garlic clove, peeled
¼ tsp salt
1. Toast the naan until golden.
2. Peel the avocados, carefully remove the stone 1. Place all the ingredients in a food processor
and then mash the lesh to a loose chunky purée. and pulse until combined.
3. Season with salt and half the lemon juice.
4. Whisk together the tahini and the remaining lemon
juice, then whisk in 100ml iced water until smooth.
5. Season with salt.
6. Spread the naan with the tahini mixture and
top with the pomegranate seeds, coconut lakes
and coriander.
7. Slice into six. Drizzle with olive oil, if liked.

Edited extract from Vegetarian Party Food

by Jessica Oldield (Hardie Grant, £12.99).
Photography © Beatriz da Costa

27
 Shake up
your thinking
Have you ever heard the expression ‘to think outside the box’? This phrase
is often used when new and original solutions are required, rather than the
usual ideas that commonly spring to mind. But why do most people tend
to think in the same way, and how can you learn to think more creatively?
If you got together a group of people and asked
them to solve a problem – such as, ‘How could
we fundraise for a local charity this year?’ – the
likelihood is that most of them will give similar
answers. Their thoughts will immediately turn to
their previous experiences and they’ll use their
existing knowledge of the world. Few will come
up with truly unique or innovative solutions.
While learning from the past is often helpful,
there are times when it’s useful or perhaps even
necessary to think in bold new ways – this may
allow you to respond to changing circumstances
or to stand out from the crowd on your terms.
The world’s greatest scientists, innovators,
artists, writers, entrepreneurs, spiritual leaders
and social campaigners all have one thing in
common – the ability to think creatively. Whatever
their ield of expertise, successful people realise
if they continue to view things from the same
perspective and do things as they’ve been done
before, they’ll continue to get the same results.
People who think outside the box take the
same information as everybody else but look at
it diferently. They’re open to new suggestions
and leave behind previous experiences,
attitudes and mindsets that could limit fresh
ideas. They’re willing to change their mind or
admit they might have been wrong in the past.
Creative thinkers ask questions. For example,
when American chemist Spencer Silver failed
to create an adhesive strong enough for use in
aircraft, instead of discarding it, he asked: ‘Well,
what could this be used for?’ And ta-dah! – with
28
his weak glue, he created the world’s very irst
sticky notes in 1974.
British cyclists had never been particularly
successful until David Brailsford was made
performance director at British Cycling in 2003.
He looked at things diferently and realised
that making many tiny changes could be more
efective than one big change. Dave (as he
likes to be known) even investigated which
mattresses would ensure the best night’s sleep
for riders and which hand-washing techniques
could make them less likely to catch a cold.
Britain has since become the most successful
track-cycling nation in the world.
It’s not only world-leading scientists and
creatives who can beneit from learning to think
more laterally. Whether you’re working on a
school project, planning a party or trying to
resolve a conlict, looking at things diferently
can help you to ind more efective solutions.
Imagine you’re on the school’s eco-committee.
For three years, assemblies, announcements and
various posters about reusing and recycling
have failed to make any notable diference to
the amount of waste left after lunch. It’s surely
time to start looking at things diferently.
How about the design technology department
gets involved and helps every student make their
own reusable food wrap, or the canteen starts to
serve sandwiches on plates instead of in paper
boxes? The more diverse ideas you can generate,
the more likely you are to ind the one that’ll
work best for your current situation.
29
30
 Learning to think outside the box helps you to solve problems, respond to changing
circumstances and cope with new challenges. Read on for suggestions about how
you, too, can train your brain to view things diferently

1. Find an object in your environment (eg, a paper clip, pebble, book, mug or glass jar).
How many diferent uses can you think of for this object?
Example: Uses for an empty jar: a drinking vessel, a vase, a tea-light holder, a time capsule, food storage,
a display ‘cabinet’ for small objects, a desk tidy, a spider catcher or a plant container.

2. Consider how you could complete a task without using one of the usual tools, ingredients or methods.
Examples: How could you paint a picture without a paintbrush? How could you wash your hair if you couldn’t lift your arms
above shoulder height? How could you put your socks on without using your hands?

3. Play a game of Taboo with friends. Players have to describe a word without using that word or ive related
words. Other team members must guess the word. In this game, your brain works extra-hard
to structure sentences in less typical ways and to think around the issue or concept.
Examples: Describe the word ‘tennis’ without saying the word ‘tennis’ or the words: court, racket, tennis ball, net and Wimbledon.
Describe the word ‘jeans’ without saying the word ‘jeans’ or the words: denim, blue, trousers, clothing and wear.

4. Choose two seemingly unrelated objects and see if you can ind a link.
Examples: Squirrel/pencil. Possible link: squirrels live in trees and pencils are made from wood.
WORDS: VICKY H BOURNE. PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Stapler/trampoline. Possible link: both contain springs.

Keep on learning to improve your ability to make new links and connections. Ask as many questions as you can about
the world around you; try to visit new places; and read books or magazine and newspaper articles on a wide range of
topics. It will all help to make thinking outside the box become like second nature.
 Calm the terror
Most of the time, the world – and those around you – will be safe and function in a predictable way. But there are
times where the opposite happens and it can leave you worried that you’ll be caught up in a disaster or witness a
loved one in distress. It’s important to remember that such events are rare. The way in which they’re sometimes
reported, however, can lead the brain to overestimate how often they happen. Sometimes, it also makes you
fearful that you, or a loved one, will be in the middle of a frightening incident. Here, Teen Breathe gives you a few
suggestions that could help you to cope with these concerns and to move forward if you’ve gone through an
upsetting experience. Hopefully, these suggestions will go some of the way to helping you to take a brave and
bold step out into the world, regain your conidence and keep enjoying the life you were meant to live.

Your response is unique
Each person will have a diferent reaction after something
frightening happens. It depends on age, past experiences
and temperament. Common responses can be shock, tears,
a state of fearfulness or feeling unable to switch of from
what has happened. You might wish to avoid any of the
places that remind you of the traumatic event and decline
activities you previously enjoyed. Physical responses to
such an experience can include shaking, sweating and
reliving in your head images of the event. None of these
things means there’s anything wrong with you. They’re
all normal responses after a frightening encounter.
you can – go to sleep and wake at your regular time, eat
at the usual hour and attend school. When it feels right,
make time to see friends and take part in things you
normally enjoy, whether that’s going to the cinema, having
a cofee-shop lunch or a Saturday shopping expedition.
If your world suddenly feels turned upside down, it will
help to do things that are comfortable and familiar to you.
Talk when it helps
Let those around you know that you’ll open up when
you feel ready and that it’s not helpful for anyone to try
to force you to discuss what happened.

Look after your basic needs Be careful about what you watch on TV
The most important thing after a distressing event is to Repeatedly watching distressing or tragic events on TV can
ensure you’re in a safe environment where you can eat and be linked to poorer outcomes for wellbeing, so it might
sleep. Aim to get back into your normal routine as soon as help to limit your exposure to such broadcasts.

32
 Focus the mind
Trying to block out or not think about a particularly distressing
experience might seem helpful, but it’s not always the best
coping strategy. That said, you may ind there might be times
when distracting your mind is useful. This could involve
getting stuck into a sport or activity you really enjoy or, if
you’re feeling overwhelmed, counting backwards from 300.

Write or illustrate the story

A frightening event can also cause memories of the event to
become jagged and jumbled up in your mind. To help the
brain make sense of what happened, talk or write about the
event and go over it again and again. Gillian Colville, a clinical
psychologist from St George’s Hospital, London, says that
using stories can be an excellent way to make sense of events.
‘If you make a story about what you went through and write
it down, draw it in a picture or in a series of images like a roll
of ilm, it helps to pack away the memories in the brain and
then they [might not] bother you so much.’

Draw strength
It’s possible to emerge from the aftermath of a frightening or
WORDS: DR SARAH MAYNARD – WILDANDPRECIOUSMINDS.COM. ILLUSTRATION: SARA THIELKER

distressing event even stronger than you were before. People

sometimes describe having a greater appreciation of life,
stronger relationships and the ability to see fresh possibilities.

Seek further support

After a scary incident, it can feel like you live in a new,
changed world that is no longer safe. It doesn’t mean these
feelings will stay forever. For most people they will ease over
time. If you continue to be upset and frightened, try to talk
about it to a trusted adult – perhaps your guardian or an older
relative, or your GP or school nurse. If you ind it too diicult
to talk to someone face to face, there are online options:

Childline provides a 24-hour free and conidential

telephone, email and chat service for children and young
people on 0800 1111 or childline.co.uk
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has tip
sheets, guides and videos on dealing with a traumatic
event. See nctsn.org

33
 Look further
Compliments are great to give (and receive), but all too often they’re tied up
with what people look like. The good news is there are plenty of other, more
meaningful, ways to express what you really love about your friends

Almost everybody knows how it feels to have their looks
judged – whether it’s by boys and girls at school, friends
and family, strangers, social media followers, the world.
The remarks might be lattering, such as a friend saying
you have cool dress sense or an aunty openly declaring
that you have beautiful eyes. Sometimes, though, the
observations about your appearance might be unkind
and hurtful (this can be particularly true on social media).
Either way, it can give the impression that appearance
is the most important thing in life. And even though this is
far from true, it’s easy to become self-conscious and allow
worries about physical appearance to hold you back.
You might decide to say ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’ to a drama
audition, for example, even though you know the role of
by heart and love the freedom of expression – you don’t
want to open yourself up to the possibility of any feedback
about how you look. In the same way, you might ignore
sports trials even though you’re the fastest 100m runner
in school. This means missed opportunities for you and
for those who’d love nothing more than to see you shine.
But there’s a way to compliment people that doesn’t
centre on appearance. And it might just help to quieten
those conidence-sapping negative thoughts (yours and
those of friends). It involves shifting the focus away from
looks and celebrating instead what makes people diferent
and special. Not sure what to say? Take a look at our list
(see right) for some ideas and then think about what makes
the people in your life stand out from the crowd.

34
 17 WAYS TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS WITHOUT
MENTIONING APPEARANCE

You’re creative You’re caring You know how to make the

1 Drawing cartoons, writing
stories and poems, customising
trainers, building treehouses, taking
epic photos on your phone – you love
getting artistic, super-colourful and
making everything way more exciting.
You’re brave
2 Whether it’s nailing a big
skateboard jump, mastering a muddy
mountain bike trail or making a big
presentation in front of the class, you
always go for it and do your best.
You’re a brilliant listener
3 You know exactly what to do
when someone needs a friend. You sit
patiently and pay attention, making
sure you listen to every single word.
You make the best
4 sandwiches
Peanut butter and raspberry jam,
Marmite and banana, cream cheese
and cucumber, Quavers and coleslaw
(there’s no judgment here), your
packed lunches and after-school
snacks are what makes you you.
You’re conident speaking
5 to adults
You don’t mumble, you know loads of
interesting facts, you can talk about
the weather for at least ive minutes
(and pretend not to be bored).
WORDS: CLAIRE BLACKMORE. ILLUSTRATION: STEPHANIE GINGER
8 You’re great at putting other
people’s feelings irst and always
want to help. From helping older
people of the bus to helping me
clean out my rabbit’s hutch, you’ll
go out of your way to make sure
people who need assistance never
feel alone. You’ve got a big heart.
You’re adventurous
9 Kayaking, abseiling, caving,
rollercoaster rides, windsuring,
ice-skating – you’re the irst to step
up because you think being out of
your comfort zone is an awesome
way to build your conidence.
Your playlists are brilliant
10 Old school rock ‘n’ roll, indie
classics, pop hits and new songs no
one else has even heard of yet, you’re
the master of music mixes. And you
don’t keep your discoveries to yourself
– you share all the best beats.
You always have time
11 for other people
It doesn’t matter how busy your
revision timetable is or how many
after-school clubs you’re signed up
to, you never neglect your friends
or family. Whether it’s sending a text
or arranging a meet-up in town, you
always make time for those you love.
Parties are better when
12
14 perfect bag of pick ‘n’ mix
30 per cent jellies, 30 per cent sour
mix, 20 per cent milk chocolate, 10
per cent white chocolate, 10 per cent
sherbert – the ratios really matter.
You have the funniest laugh
15 Is it a cackle, a gufaw or a
snort? Who knows, but it’s infectious.
You never waste money on
16 things that don’t matter
Your money goes on activities that
include friends and family. For you,
it’s always about making great
memories, not splashing the cash
on expensive hoodies and jeans.
Life wouldn’t be the same
17 without you
You’re there through the good times,
the sad times, the fun times, the tricky
times, the boring times – and you
make them all 100 times better.

You give the best hugs you’re around

6 They’re not too tight, they’re
not in awkward positions, they’re
not too long, they’re just nice and
comforting. The best bit? When I’m
sad, I don’t even need to ask for one.
If it’s not the cool music you’re
bringing, it’s the personality and
dance moves. Being conident and
brave means you’re the irst one on
the loor – and everyone follows.

You know where to ind You can climb any tree

7 the best memes
Your Google game is seriously strong.
It takes you about 20 seconds to ind
or create the funniest meme for every
occasion – laughter is guaranteed.
13 You know the best branches
to boost your body up on, the twigs
that won’t snap and how to get down
in seconds. You’ve got climbing skills
that would make a monkey jealous.

35
 Canine capers
Friendly, playful, loyal, full of energy – there are many reasons why dogs are referred to as
man’s – and woman’s – best friend. We think they’re (mostly) everyone’s pal and often a
much-loved member of the family who also happens to get the most inventive name going.
In yoga, one of the most popular postures also has a canine reference. It’s called downward-
facing dog or, to give it its Sanskrit title, Adho Mukha Svanasana.
This much-practised pose lengthens and stretches the spine; releases tension in the upper
torso, legs and arms; and provides a lovely oxygen boost to the body. It also builds strength
in the arms, shoulders, wrists, abdominals and legs. Another beneit is that it increases blood low
to the brain, which stimulates the nervous system, improving memory and concentration. If this is
what dogs get up to when no one’s looking, it’s small wonder they’re always wagging their tails.

Here’s how to get into the position

1. On a yoga mat, position yourself on all
fours and keep your back straight and strong
(you should resemble a table-top!). Your knees
should be positioned below your hips, with
your shins resting on the loor. The soles of
the feet face upwards. Your arms should be
in line with the shoulder socket and reach
towards the loor, with your hands resting
lat on the ground, ingers pointing forward
gently splayed.
2. From this position, turn your toes under.
Then, pushing downwards evenly through
your arms and legs, raise your hips skywards.
3. Your body will form a triangle shape. There
will be two straight lines*: one lowing down
from your hips along your spine through your
arms and then into your hands on the loor;
the second goes from your hips along the full
length of your legs and into the feet.
4. Stretch into the legs, lowering the heels
so that the feet are lat on the loor.**
5. Your head should hang gently between
your arms and you can view your stomach.
6. Take a few deep breaths in this position,
feeling the lovely stretch in your hamstrings,
back, spine and arms, and enjoying the release
in the neck.
7. When you’re ready, bend your knees
towards the loor, returning to the table-top
position. From here, walk your hands back
to a seated kneeling position and roll out
your wrists to release any tension.

As with all physical activities, please do not attempt this yoga position if you have any medical conditions that may be aggravated.

WORDS: DAWATTIE BASDEO – MAGNIFICENTMEMAGNIFICENTYOU.COM. ILLUSTRATION: SARA THIELKER

36
TOP TIPS
* To maintain a straight
stretched back and spine,
you may ind it easier
to have your knees
slightly bent.
** Many yogi ind it
diicult to lower the heels
to a position where the
feet are lat on the loor.
This is absolutely normal
and okay. With regular
practice, some ind it
becomes a little easier,
but never stretch the
heel to a point that
feels uncomfortable.

37
 Ever since that unforgettable penalty shoot-out between
Great Britain and Holland, hockey has become one of the
most popular sports to play and watch. It even has its
own terminology – for example, a Flamingo is when a
player lifts their leg to avoid blocking a shot.
But what is it about the sport that makes so many
people love it and how can it beneit you? We spoke to
two inspiring British hockey legends to ind out – Kate
Richardson-Walsh OBE (pictured above left) is the most
capped British player of all time, leading her country to
that incredible Olympic gold medal, and her wife, Helen
Richardson-Walsh MBE (above right), is renowned as one
of the world’s best midielders after scoring one of the
dramatic penalty strokes which sealed the 2016 win.
Now, the golden pair travel the world, encouraging
people to take up hockey and sharing how the
exciting sport is great on an emotional and physical
level. Playing the game improves itness and
releases plenty of mood-enhancing endorphins
that will make you feel positive and happy.

Can you
do the
Flamingo?
The GB women’s hockey team made worldwide headlines during
an epic nail-biting battle for Olympic gold in Rio in 2016. Here’s
all you need to know about giving the great team sport a go

38
Here are a few of the main
beneits to inspire you to
pick up that hockey stick

1  It boosts conidence
According to both Helen and Kate,
who’ve both played in four Olympic
Games, one of the biggest pay-ofs
of taking up hockey is how much it
can boost your conidence.
This is because you’ll ind yourself
playing the sport with a wide range
of people, learning loads of new skills
and improving your communication
skills along the way.
‘You get to meet and play with
people who you might not usually
play with during the school day –
that was my experience,’ says Kate.
‘I was really shy and I used to blush
a lot, which tended to make my ‘We had a team of 31 amazing learn the techniques to get you
shyness worse. Hockey helped me young women, but we were all through those bad times.’
grow in conidence and helped diferent and had diferent strengths
overcome that bashfulness.’ to bring to that team. It was only
when we used those collective 5  Inner strength will be yours
Too often, girls stop playing sport

2  You’ll make new friends

When Helen was at school, the
only time she felt like she truly itted
in was while playing hockey. She says
the sport gave her a place where she
could really be herself and a welcome
group of new friends.
‘Joining a club makes you part of
something straightaway,’ she says.
‘Start when you’re young and those
friends and social network could end
up being with you for life. It doesn’t
matter what level you’re at because
there’s a team for everybody.’
strengths that we created something
special. We’re all diferent and that
should be celebrated.’
4  You’ll develop resilience
As well as teaching you discipline
to train and commit to your team,
hockey also helps develop your
ability to work through setbacks,
whether it’s losing a game, playing
on a cold and wet pitch or patiently
overcoming an injury, something
Kate and Helen know a lot about.
Defender Kate sufered a broken
jaw at the start of the 2012 Olympics
during their teens either because they
become self-conscious about how
they look or because their friends
drop out. But continuing to have an
interest like this can give you a sense
of focus and improve your wellbeing.
‘Be the best version of yourself,’
adds Kate. ‘That’s why Teen Breathe
is so refreshing because, unlike other
magazines, it doesn’t pigeonhole
over what you should be like or
look like, or what your hair should
be doing. It encourages you to
understand what you want and tread d
your own path; to just be you.’

3  It helps celebrate diferences

When you play hockey, you learn
to respect and support teammates
through good times and bad, despite
all being diferent personalities and
having diverse skills on the pitch.
‘We try to encourage new players
to look at their strengths and what
they bring to your team,’ explains
Helen. ‘Ask yourself what you’re good
at and then try to make that element
as good as possible.
and everyone thought her Games
were over – only for her to return
a few games later and help the team
secure a bronze medal. Want to
o join?
Helen has sufered several career- Noo hockey club at your
threatening ankle and back injuries, school? Check out
but she has also fought back to play englandhockey.co.uk,
a pivotal role in the team. scottish-hockey.org.uk
‘It does teach you to be resilient,’ andd hockeywales.org.uk
says Kate. ‘Some of the strongest to ind your nearest club.
players I know have gone through
injuries or setbacks so you have to

39
 a light touch
Caring for loved ones is admirable and part and parcel of life, but
sometimes it’s possible to stray into overprotective territory
Imagine you welcome a young puppy into your home.
You’ll want to care for your precious pet the best you can.
You’ll look after her by making sure she has enough food
and water, play with her, stroke her and take her for walks,
plus house-train your pup and remove any potential
dangers from your home and garden. Feeling so safe and
supported in this caring environment, a puppy will thrive.
But what happens if you take this caring a little too far?
Perhaps you’re so worried the puppy will run away, you
never let her of-lead. So, she never learns good recall or
how to play with other dogs safely. You might never let
her near water as you’re so anxious she’ll have an accident.
So, if she does ever fall into a pond she won’t be able to
cope as she’s never had the chance to feel comfortable in
water. By protecting your puppy too much, she won’t be
able to develop necessary life skills.
People can behave in similar ways towards their close
friends, siblings or other family members. Caring for others
usually comes from a good place – you want to shield your
loved ones from negative experiences and emotions such
as hurt, embarrassment or unhappiness. However, if caring
ends up tipping over into overprotectiveness, it no longer
beneits you or the person you so dearly care about.
Say a friend excitedly announces she’s going to audition
for a drama production. You’re concerned she’ll totally
embarrass herself and won’t cope if she’s rejected, so you
talk her out of her plans. Or imagine your brother wants
to try out abseiling. You’re worried he’ll seriously injure
himself, so you convince him not to go.
In reality, people need to make mistakes and learn from
their experiences, whether positive or negative. Avoiding
anything challenging limits opportunities to grow in
40
self-conidence. Never experiencing disappointment,
diiculty or rejection means fewer chances to develop the
resilience needed to cope with life’s many ups and downs.
If somebody around you feels you’re being overprotective
or stopping them from living their life, they might start to
resent this. In their eyes, it might look like you’re trying to
control or dominate them.
It can also afect the overprotector, making them anxious
and fretful. If this sounds like you, try to identify where your
feelings come from. For example, are you afraid you’ll lose
a close friend to a new hobby or diferent friendship group?
It takes self-awareness to recognise the root cause, but it
can lead to more positive solutions for everybody.
Of course, there are times when you genuinely might
feel somebody you care about is putting themselves at
risk. You wouldn’t, for example, let your new puppy loose
near a fast-lowing river just to give her a new experience.
If you think a friend is going to do something that has the
potential to harm themself or others, it’s important to seek WORDS: VICKY H BOURNE. ILLUSTRATIONS: SAMANTHA NICKERSON
guidance from a trusted source.
How do you ofer supportive, rather than overprotective,
care? If your puppy ran back to you after being bitten by a
larger dog in the local park, you wouldn’t say: ‘I told you so’,
would you? You’d whisk her to the vet for medical help and
then concentrate on building up her conidence when
around other dogs in the future.
People need similar support. If an experience proves
particularly challenging, be there to support your friend.
Help them to make sense of what happened, identify the
positives in the situation and gain the conidence to try
again. Friends who care, support and encourage others
to follow their own path are valuable indeed.
CARING MIGHT BE
OVERPROTECTIVENESS
IF YOU:
Step in to stop others trying
new experiences
Dissuade others from doing
what they want
Focus only on the negatives
(‘You might fail’, ‘Other people
might laugh’)
Attempt to shield others
from potentially unpleasant
or diicult experiences
Try to ix problems rather
than letting others igure out
their own solutions
Limit others’ independence
Worry incessantly
Is your overprotectiveness holding back those you care
for most? Try to let them learn from their mistakes
WHAT TO DO IF…
…you feel you’re becoming …you feel a friend or sibling is
overprotective: overprotective towards you:
1 Be kind to yourself. It’s good to
care about others, and the ability
to recognise any overprotective
1 Be kind. Remember: caring comes
from good intentions.
tendencies is a real positive. 2 Listen. There might be valid
concerns you need to consider.
2 Understand yourself. Are you
afraid you’ll lose a friend or miss
out? If so, what can you do? Perhaps
3 Include them. Worries might
come from a fear of being left out
or pushed aside. See if your friend
it’s time to try a new hobby? Can you would like to join you or encourage
view the situation diferently? An them in their own pursuits.
expanded friendship group can bring
all sorts of beneits.
4 Be assertive. Thank them for
their concern and explain calmly
3 Get support. If worrying about
others is stopping you sleeping
and relaxing, or if you think
why you think the experience will
be good for you.
somebody is in danger, speak to
a trusted adult or phone a service
such as Childline (0800 1111).
41
 Follow the leader…
Don’t be daunted if you’re put in charge
– embrace the opportunity and shine
Are you the kind of person who thrives on stepping
up and leading groups and teams? Or, instead, are you
the type who prefers to remain in the background as
much as possible, following someone else?
Some people are born leaders and have no worries
about being at the head of a team or group, whether
as a sports captain or a head girl or boy. For others,
just the thought of being in charge and having that
extra responsibility can trigger anxious feelings.
What skills do you need to be a leader and can everybody
develop them? Here are some tips about taking charge,
gaining the (hugely important) trust of your team and
being the best leader you can be…
42
Find your conidence
1 To have been chosen as a leader or captain is
a huge honour – and you wouldn’t have been
selected if people didn’t think you were up to it. Yes, it may
be nerve-racking, but remember everyone feels like that at
irst. Embrace those nerves and take on the challenge.
Be careful not to let that conidence slip into arrogance,
however, otherwise the people you lead won’t respect
you for long. Instead, be calm, respectful and proud of
the position you’ve been given and give it your best shot.
Look to your role models for inspiration
2 Consider leaders you know of and keep them in
mind as role models. What do you respect about
them? Is it because they’re caring, fair and supportive? Are
they good at public speaking or motivating others? Model
yourself on their behaviours, but make the role your own
using your skills. Be the best version of you, not anyone else.
 All ired up about taking the lead?

Put in the efort Write or illustrate here the qualities you will
3 The most important role as a captain or leader
is to lead by example. Your teammates or group
personally bring to your new opportunity…

will look up to you and there will be times when they’ll

need your guidance and advice. They’ll also want to see
you as the person giving 100 per cent to whatever you do
and being passionate, enthusiastic and proud.
If you don’t work hard, neither will your team. Be positive,
motivational and demonstrate a supportive, fair attitude.
The chances are people will want to copy you in future.

Harness the team’s strengths

4 Your role is to lead your team to success and help
them reach the top. Often this is only possible if
all members of the group pull together as one.
Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks. Take a tip from the most
successful leaders: use the individual strengths of others
around you to create the best team.

Communicate clearly
5 Part of being a good leader is knowing how
to motivate people, especially when the going
gets tough and they really need it. For example, if a team
member has made a mistake, you need to be able to let
them know they can improve and encourage them to
look forward rather than get hung up on it.
‘HOW I DO IT!’
If your team’s losing, you’ll have to be the one to inspire Hattie Nixon, 15, is a young leader in the
them to remain hungry for the win, determined and Girl Guides and a deputy head girl at a
resilient. Consider some inspirational words and positive secondary school. Here are her top ive tips
phrases that you think will work for your group. for bossing the role of leader:

Deal with conlict Speak up and don’t be afraid to put

6 There’ll often be disagreements within a team or
group. As the leader, you’ll have to deal with them.
This might be the toughest part of being a captain because
it may mean telling someone they’ve made a mistake or
resolving a tricky issue between teammates or classmates.
Consider your body language, tone and words when you
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: CLAIRE VAN HEUKELOM
yourself forward, even if it’s in a room full of
strangers. Make the most of the opportunity.
Consider your body language when
speaking to others. Think about how you
stand and move, plus your eye contact.
Make an efort to seem approachable and

speak to them and be sure to refer to the questionable
behaviour rather than criticise the person.
Accept criticism
7 Your team may not like everything you do or
every single decision you make, but be conident,
positive and believe in yourself. If you can, others will too,
whether they agree with your approach or not.
Nobody is perfect and any role takes time and practice
– try not to let setbacks prevent you from being the great
leader you were destined to be. It’s a fantastic opportunity
and will help boost your conidence for whatever you
choose to do after school or college.
be interested in what others have to say.
Always listen and accept points. When you’re
in a group, it’s important not to dominate.
Let others lead as well.
Understand and respect others’ opinions.
People are diferent and that’s OK. Try to see
things from their perspective.
Be enthusiastic and interesting when talking
to groups. Try to consider who you’re
speaking to and how you can engage them,
even during the boring bits.

43
 Experience is everything
Before launching yourself at the world of work, you could gain skills and a valuable insight into
a particular sector by securing work experience. Teen Breathe talks you through the process…

Gaining work experience allows you to explore the many which ones to choose, pop online and check if any are
exciting career options out there and helps to develop within a manageable travel distance from home.
your personal skills. It also gives you a chance to add Increase your chances of getting an interview by marking
eye-catching information to your curriculum vitae (CV). the letters for the attention of particular employees – ideally
In fact, short-term experience of employment can even the relevant team leader (you can sometimes ind their
result in fresh interests, glowing future references if you information online on the company website or Facebook
wow your temporary new bosses or colleagues, and a real page – if not, a quick call to the irm might help). To cover
understanding of the industry the work falls within. all avenues, feel free to add ‘and the rest of the [insert
To take over the working world step-by-step, start by name] team’ within the letters themselves.
considering your passions and which companies might best
suit them. Do you like to surround yourself with animals or Be creative and take time when writing your
perhaps you feel drawn to music? How do you feel about letter. Focus on truly demonstrating your
volunteering, work shadowing or a Saturday job? interest and enthusiasm, then let your
Once you’ve considered your options, prepare a letter writing low naturally and you could soon
for the company you favour most. If you’re a little unsure of be saying ‘hello’ to the world of work…

Address of sender
LETTER LOGIC
Address of recipient
Master the lost art of letter writing – and Date
send out some work experience enquiries

Find that dream team

Museums? Publishing houses? Craft studios?
Subject of letter
List below ive teams or companies that draw your interest,
then initially pick just one to reach out to… To: ‘Dea r [na me]’, alternatively use ‘Dea
r Sir/Madam’
...................................................................................................................
1
..................................................................................................................
2
..................................................................................................................
3
.................................................................................................................
4
.................................................................................................................
5

From: ‘Yours sincerely’ if the recipient’s

nam
Right: here’s a letter template to help you. The letter’s content
and ‘Yours faithfully’ if ‘Dear Sir/Madam e was used
is key, but make sure it’s set out in the right way, addresses ’ was used
are where they should be and your sign-of is appropriate

44
 Make your introduction count
Ofer the company a good sense of who you
are and what you do. You could mention a few
of your favourite things such as hobbies and
school subjects, along with some compelling
reasons for the company to invite you for a work
placement. You should reference any of your
key achievements or awards you’ve received.
Use this space to note down interesting things about you
MAKE IT COUNT
Keep it snappy
The reader’s brain can only handle so much information
at once, so be sure to get straight to the point, remain
concise and cut out any wale – you don’t want them to
think you’re wasting their time. This is where writing a
irst and second draft could come in handy – iguring out
what you want to write and then inding the best way of
putting it across to the reader. Here at Teen Breathe, we’re
all about multiple drafts.
WORDS: ABBY COSTEN. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Quality control
Give your letter careful thought and take your time to craft
it. It’s likely that the person you’re sending it to will receive
lots of post, so make it hold their attention – in the right
way. If you’re using a computer, choose a nice, professional
font. If you’re writing your letter, use neat handwriting (and
a good pen). Is your paper and envelope crisp and clean?
Some people try to stand out by using coloured paper
and envelopes. Keep it classy, though – if the paper and
envelope look like they’ve survived a glitter storm (but
only just), the recipient might not take your letter seriously.
Answer the big question: why?
Tell the team why you like their work. Try to be
genuine and speciic here, and avoid being too
gushy or including anything negative. Mention
your relevant skills and positive qualities as well
as those you feel could be gained or improved
upon through the work experience. You could
thank them in advance for their consideration.
Use this space to answer ‘why them?’ and ‘why you?’
TIME TO SEND
Get the right address
Hunt down the correct postal or email address. Does
the company’s oicial website provide any contact
information? Do you know the name of the employee you
would most ideally like to read your message? Could you
enlist the help of a parent or guardian if you get stuck?
Set your worries free and be happy
Try not to be disheartened if you don’t receive a response
from your letter. Just be positive and don’t keep resending
the same thing. It can be considered quite common for
letters to go overlooked, especially when directed at small,
overworked or understafed teams.
Look on the bright side – there’s much to be gained from
the actual letter-writing process, regardless of whether or
not you receive a response. You can still ind enjoyment
in unleashing your creativity and it’s a great
starting point from which to
continue building your skills.
Good luck.
45
Creature
comforts
Everybody knows that winter can be a testing time
for wildlife, but taking a moment to perform just a
few thoughtful actions can make a big diference
to some small animals this season

Feed the birds

Any birds that don’t spread their wings and migrate to
warmer climes face a tough battle through the UK’s coldest
weather. In fact, a lot of the smallest varieties have to
consume large amounts of food every day just to survive.
While there are loads of specially designed feeders
available in the shops, homemade versions are also great,
and many birds, including chainches, blackbirds and
robins, will be happy to eat straight from the ground.
Birds need a balance of fats and grains to sustain them
through winter – a selection of seeds or unsalted peanuts
will make a lovely snack, as will leftover fruit and cheese.
Just make sure food is kept out of the way of predators OPEN YOUR OWN BIRD CAFÉ...
(including the neighbourhood cat) and, if you do start In the winter months, feathered friends
feeding the birds, be consistent – otherwise they run the will appreciate a place where they can enjoy
risk of wasting valuable energy on a pointless journey. a selection of good bird food.

Drinking water You could try putting these on the menu:

Access to drinking water is crucial all year round, and
leaving a shallow saucer of water out in a safe spot will be bird cake and food bars
ideal for ground-feeding wildlife. Any sort of basin or bowl sunlower seeds or sunlower hearts
will be helpful, but remember to keep it topped up and, in nyger seeds
extremely cold weather, make sure it doesn’t freeze over. lard and beef suet
If your container has steep sides, it can be a good idea to cooked rice
place a large twig or pebble in it, so that small mammals uncooked oats
who accidentally fall in will be able to climb out more easily. clean water

Wash and brush up Diferent birds prefer diferent foods. Some,

When it comes to water, it’s not just a drink that birds are
in need of – if they can’t clean their feathers, they’re less
waterproof and, therefore, more susceptible to the cold.
Whether you have a purpose-built birdbath, or a dish that
doubles up as a wash station, it’s essential to keep it clean
and accessible for your feathered friends.
such as inches and sparrows, may be quickly
drawn to a hanging feeder containing
sunlower hearts. Others, such as robins and
blackbirds, are more likely to turn up to a café
that takes the form of a bird table with an oat/
fruit/fatty nibble mix on the menu.
 Creepy crawlies
Lots of insects hibernate over the winter months, too.
Lacewings, ladybirds and butterlies, to name but a few,
often tuck themselves away in quiet cracks and crevices
in houses, garages and sheds for the long wait until
spring. They may not be cute and luf y, but they’re still
a valuable part of the ecosystem and, if they’re disturbed
during their hibernation, they’re unlikely to survive the
season – so resist the temptation to move them if you can.
Instead, you could turn your attention to creating
alternative accommodation for little creatures by building
them a bug house. This could be as simple as tying
together bamboo sticks and putting them somewhere safe.
Insects will love to sleep in the hollows and can happily
snooze through the winter like this, out of harm’s way.
No place like home
It’s not just gardens that attract wildlife – churchyards, parks
and scrubland are also creature hotspots. Try to be aware of
all the diferent sorts of habitats that are in your local area.
Patches of long grass can provide homes for rodents
such as mice and voles, which, in turn, can be an invaluable
food source for birds of prey. Hedgerows, fallen leaves,
piles of wood, rampant ivy and even the hollow stems of
last season’s lowers can all be winter sanctuaries for frogs,
toads, dormice, bees and a host of other animals.
When it comes to nature, there’s no such thing as mess
and it’s important to remember that what looks untidy
and overgrown to you could be a haven for small creatures.
Always try to watch your step and try not to cause any
unnecessary disruption to wildlife at this tricky time of year.

Prickly pals
Sadly, half of all hedgehogs fail to make it through their irst
winter and, during a mild spell, many can be fooled into
coming out of hibernation too early. Help to ill them up
with minced meat, meat-based pet food or scrambled eggs.
If you spot an injured or underweight hedgehog after dark,
or if you see any hedgehog out during the day, you should
call your local vet or wildlife centre for guidance. These
WORDS: VICTORIA PICKETT. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

lovely creatures have really struggled in recent years, so

it’s particularly important to look after them.

Put out the welcome mat for your winter guests…

If ofering food, only leave out
enough to be an extra treat. Providing
too much could encourage wild
animals to become dependent, and
could also attract opportunistic vermin.
Keep an eye out for evidence.
Droppings, footprints and, of course,
actual sightings, can all help you to
provide the right kind of assistance
for the creatures that cross your patch.
If you would like to ind out more
about ways to help wildlife in your
region, there are lots of organisations
able to ofer expert advice, including
the RSPB (rspb.org.uk), The Wildlife
Trusts (wildlifetrusts.org) and
Tiggywinkles (sttiggywinkles.org.uk).

47
 And the
And the oscar
Oscar
goes to…
Making your own movie is an exciting prospect, but is it possible to make it happen when
your hard-earned cash will barely cover a trip to the cinema, let alone fund your ilm-making
aspirations? The answer is yes, providing you apply imagination, energy and resourcefulness,
you can use even the most basic smartphone or camera video to make an engaging and
atmospheric movie debut. Move over Soia Coppola and Steven Spielberg…

The idea Pre-production

To make it doable, keep your story idea simple and focus on
making a short ilm (between one and 20 minutes long). When
writing your script, think about the impact of the story on your
audience and keep in mind the practicalities of what you wish
to achieve using the resources you have.
Unless you have contacts in all the right places, amazing CGI
(computer generated image) skills, or generous inancial backers,
it can be a real challenge (although not impossible) to produce
a short ilm that requires a huge cast, shiny vehicles, helicopters,
spaceships, elaborate costumes and expensive locations.
Many of the crucial elements of ilm-making begin in
pre-production. This is the stage where you plan out
every aspect of your ilm so that it’s ready to go into
production. Use this time to reine your ilm script and
then write a shooting script, which provides technical
information such as camera angles and viewpoint.
A storyboard (see page 51), which is comprised of
sketches of each scene, is useful for planning how
you’ll ilm your movie. This, together with a shot list,
outlining which scenes you want to ilm on each day,

WORDS: CAROL ANNE STRANGE. ILLUSTRATIONS: MATT CHINWORTH

Let your imagination run wild for creative solutions. Find
quirky locations, use interesting camera angles and encourage
your stars to improvise – all will help your ilm look good.
provides a good outline of what you need for your
ilm. During pre-production, you should consider:
A shooting schedule to make the ilm
What cast and crew is needed. Work with what
you have and from where you are. Try to engage
the help of family, friends and teachers. Show
the passion you have for what you’re doing and
people will be much more likely to support you.
The locations and sets required and whether you
need to gain permissions (especially if ilming in
a public place or on someone else’s property)
Which equipment, including everything from
clothing to props, are required

48
Shooting your movie
Going into production and actually shooting your short
ilm is perhaps the most exciting part of making a movie
because it’s where you start bringing your vision to life.
Filming can be quite demanding. In the movie industry,
production days are often long and it can take hours to
create a scene that might only equate to a few seconds in
the inished ilm (if it makes the cut at all). The success of
your shoot will depend upon how well you planned
everything in the pre-production stage.
There are, however, certain things that will be out of
your control. What if the weather suddenly changes when
ilming outdoors? What if an actor doesn’t show up for a
key scene? What if a key prop doesn’t work as expected?
You may have to be creative in overcoming problems.
Allow for spontaneity by drawing on what’s already
around you. Use natural light and sound efects. As you
shoot, remember to capture diferent camera angles and
make sure you’re happy with the footage before moving
on. Remember to enjoy yourself, go with it and provide
an experience that everyone involved enjoys, too.
Post-production
Once you’ve captured all the ilm footage you need, it’s
time to edit your movie and make it ready to be revealed to
the world. You can use a free movie-editing app on your
phone or even a basic movie-making program for your
computer. It won’t give you big-budget special efects but
it will help you to edit the footage and add sound, music
(use permissions-granted royalty-free music), visual efects,
titles and end credits so that it looks professional. Take
your time, experiment and stay true to your vision.
Your ilm premiere
Once you’re happy with what you’ve created, save it on
your computer and make a DVD copy. If you hope to work
in the ilm industry, why not enter a short-ilm festival?
Your own movie will act as a showreel for what you
can do and is a good way of demonstrating your creative
and technical talent. Alternatively, you can share it with the
world by uploading (with your parents’ permission) your
inished ilm to YouTube or Vimeo. Why not hold a little ilm
premiere for family and friends? Don’t forget the popcorn.
49
 MOVIE MAGIC
MOVIE
Use the pages here to pull together a shot list and sketch your storyboard. Don’t overanalyse
it, just let the creativity low… it could be the initial step towards your irst blockbuster

MY IDEA SHOOTING EQUIPMENT

SCHEDULE & PROPS

CAST & CREW LOCATION/S PERMISSION/S

50
TITLE

Scene: Scene:

Scene: Scene:
 Film-making support: Young Film Academy (YFA) is open to young people aged between six and 19 and ofers ilm-
making courses, schools and community ilm-making projects, ilm-making outreach events and ilm parties. It helps more
than 7,500 young people each year complete their irst ilms across the UK. Visit: youngilmacademy.co.uk. BFI Future Film
Festival is the UK’s most important ilm industry festival for young, emerging ilm-makers. Visit: whatson.bi.org.uk

Scene: Scene:

Scene: Scene:

52
Subscribe
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 Time to grow up (or
The next chapter of your life is waiting to be written. There are exciting
is it?)
times ahead, but it takes courage to step out of your comfort zone

THE ‘PETER PAN’

SYNDROME
Do you know that
the
extreme fear of gr
owing up/
old is also called ge
rascophobia?
Thankfully, this is
a rare
condition and wh
at most
of us feel is natura
l–
and very normal.

54
 WAYS TO EMBRACE
It’s your time to shine. As you grow up you can start exploring THE CHANGES
your own identity, learn to discover the world by yourself
and take your own decisions. But while you may be in a hurry You’re not alone
to be independent, a part of you may be worried about the 1 We all have to grow up, but
changes, confusing feelings and diicult situations that you don’t have to do it on your own.
could lie ahead. What do you see? A promising world full Ask for guidance. Guardians, older
of opportunities or a daunting life full of challenges? siblings and friends will be happy,
even honoured, to help you in such
Exciting and scary road a personal matter. Make the most
As you grow up you slowly step out of the comfort zone of childhood of the support you can get.
and gradually take control of your life. Not only is this process normal,
it’s necessary for you to eventually ly with your own wings. Make decisions carefully
Can you feel the desire to be free and diferent (and, at the same 2 Try not to throw yourself
time, to belong and it in)? It’s an exciting – and scary – sensation. into dangerous situations, blindly
It takes courage to move on from your ‘old’ life and step into the follow others or ignore the
unknown. There is much to learn and there will be expectations on consequences of your actions.
you – from society, parents, teachers and very often from yourself. Approach each situation carefully to
But remember it can also be fun if you allow yourself to enjoy the make decisions you’re comfortable
journey. You’ll discover many new experiences, new feelings, new with and take time to appreciate
friends and a whole new world of possibilities. what’s happening in your life.
If you don’t feel ready, don’t pressure yourself. You don’t have
to change overnight. Instead, you can slowly let go a little at a time No need to rush
while iguring out who you really are and what you want in life. 3 If you feel that things are
not happening fast enough, stay
Starting point patient. Things may not be as you
If you feel confused and maybe anxious about what the future holds, expected right now, but give it time
you’re not alone. Most people feel that same way. Even adults don’t and don’t be afraid to try again or
have answers to all the questions, but what’s important is to try to do things diferently. You have the
use the knowledge and wisdom you gain over time. power to make changes, and it’s
It’s experience, not time, that helps you better understand the world never too late to do so.
around you – and yourself. Experiences, whether they are good or bad,
are precious and help you to gain emotional maturity and wisdom. Take a step back
But what if you’re worried about taking on the responsibilities that 4 Sometimes life can be
come with growing up? What if you want to stay young and carefree confusing and you might feel lost.
forever? It sounds appealing, but it might also be good to know about Try not to get too emotional. Take a
the person you can be and what you could achieve in life. break and make a list of the diferent
challenges you have to deal with.
Fresh experiences Address them one at a time, and
Consider growing up as a great adventure brimming with enriching cross them of as you move through,
experiences. There’ll be crucial milestones that will give you conidence so you can appreciate your progress.
WORDS: ANNE GUILLOT. ILLUSTRATION: JAMIE EDLER

and reassurance about your future. And as you go through your

teenage years, you’ll naturally become more aware, more responsible Learn to be the best you
and more capable. 5 Fear is not a nice feeling and
Remember that being independent isn’t the same as being on your can make you doubt your abilities.
own. There’ll be people around to help, so don’t be afraid to ask. But don’t let it stop you from
If you ind yourself at odds with your parents or guardians, try to realising your potential. Be bold
stay calm and talk to them honestly about any fears and frustrations and try not to be afraid of growing
you have (the school counsellor or nurse can also help). This will help up. Better, look forward to it and
to build trust, which is a fundamental element of your future become the best person you can be.
independence and all your relationships.
Growing up won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.

55
 Are you seeking revenge…
or justice?

56
 If someone hurts, annoys or embarrasses you, the immediate reaction is often to want to
‘get even’. Usually, that desire to take revenge fades. But what if it doesn’t? What if, in your
eyes, you’ve been wronged so badly you feel you won’t rest until you get your own back?
Or, when you really consider it, do you feel you want justice instead?
So, what exactly are the diferences
between revenge and justice?
The terms are often used together and
sometimes confused for one another
despite having diferent meanings. Let’s
start by looking at their deinitions.
The dictionary states revenge is: ‘The
action of hurting or harming someone in
return for an injury or wrong sufered at
their hands.’ Revenge is an emotional,
often knee-jerk, reaction – an angry urge
to hit back and cause someone to sufer
for the hurt they’ve caused.
Justice, on the other hand, is deined as:
‘just behaviour or treatment’ or ‘fairness
in the way people are treated’. It’s more
concerned with righting a wrong in a way
that most people – not just the wronged
person – would agree was appropriate. In
contrast to revenge, it’s about fairness and,
importantly, the nature of justice should
correlate with the ofence committed.
What causes people to seek revenge?
It tends to go back to emotions including
anger, hurt and embarrassment, which are
prompted by someone else’s behaviour.
People might seek revenge when a
close friend or relative has been physically
harmed, for instance, and lash out in an
equally or even more violent manner. But
it can also be sought for more day-to-day
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: SARAH WILKINS
issues. A cruel, mocking or embarrassing
comment on a classmate’s selie on
Instagram, for example, can quickly spiral
into a lood of vicious online messages
that result in bullying or physical threats
in the playground.
There are ways to get justice instead of
taking revenge: the police can deal with
crimes; teachers can deal with school
bullies; and your guardians can sort out
sibling disputes when tussles over who’s
irst into the bathroom get out of hand.
WHAT IF I WANT REVENGE?
First take a moment to let
your feelings out. Write
down what’s happened and
how you feel or speak to a
trusted friend who might be
able to give you another
perspective. It’s OK to feel
vengeful but you’re in
control of how you respond.
Take the time you need to
work out your feelings and
explore why you’re angry.
Accept your feelings are
natural. Everyone wants to
get their own back at times.
It might help to remind
yourself that anger is fuelling
your thirst for revenge. Try
not to let the need to get
retribution – or hit back
– dominate your thoughts.
Don’t allow revenge
to control you. It can be
all-consuming and self-
destructive. As the ancient
philosopher Confucius said:
‘Before you embark on a
journey of revenge, dig two
graves.’ In other words, yes,
you may get your revenge,
but you’ll destroy yourself
at the same time.
Take time to think. You
may feel you’ll only get
satisfaction when you’ve got
revenge – but it will most
likely be a temporary relief.
You may even be more angry
afterwards, especially if
you’ve behaved in a way
that’s out of character.
Consider all the options.
Would talking to the person
who’s upset you be better
than seeking revenge? Is
there a way to resolve the
situation by talking to them
and trying to understand why
they behaved in an unkind
way? Maybe they didn’t
realise what they were doing
or they’ve made a horrible
mistake that they regret.
Do you seek justice? If you
feel that, say, another student
or a sibling needs to ‘pay’
for what they’ve done, who
decides the next course of
action? If it’s at school, it might
help to talk to a teacher or
the school counsellor. At
home, you might turn to your
guardians or another trusted
family member. Either way,
it’s probably safest if they
ensure you get justice rather
than trying to do it yourself.
Can you move on from the
incident? It can be helpful not
to dwell on situations. Speak
to a friend, relative or teacher
if you’re unsure if it’s best not
to take any action. Try not to
let your mind be consumed
by a desire to hurt another
person. If justice is possible,
get it. If not, try to let it go, so
you can get on with your life.
57
 Facebook farewells
You’ve been patient for weeks and weeks, trying as much
as possible not to get drawn into their Facebook rants. But
you just can’t take them any more. It’s time to delete that
annoying online friend. But how do you unfriend someone?
And how do you do it without causing an argument?
You see, while it’s easy to notch up hundreds of friends
online, it could be that when you scan your buddy list,
you realise you don’t know some of your connections
at all or simply no longer want to have their images and
statements popping up on your feed. Alternatively, you
might want to restrict your Facebook crew to only your
closest friends and family members, or remove someone
with whom you’ve recently fallen out.
Whatever the reason, if you’re thinking of removing a friend
or family member, there are some things to bear in mind to
make it as stress-free as possible.
Be clear about your reasons
Make sure you know why you want to remove them and
that you’re not going to change your mind soon after. It’s
58
easy to fall out with someone and remove them in
a moment of anger, but you’ll look silly when you decide
to send a friend request again after you’ve made up.
If you’re unsure whether to remove them, write down
the reasons why you’re considering it. For example, ‘We’re
not friends any more,’ or ‘I want to remove people I’ve
not spoken to for over a year,’ or ‘I’m inding their posts
inappropriate’. So that you’re 100 per cent sure, take a day
or two considering your decision before inally clicking
the ‘Unfriend’ button.
Remember that most people won’t notice or even care
You may not want to unfriend someone because you’re
worried about how you’ll look or how the other person will
react when they realise they’ve been removed. The truth
is that most of the time, they won’t even notice.
It’s easy to think people register what you do online, but
more often than not they’re too concerned with their own
lives to see what others are doing. You might be aware of
their posts, but they might have hundreds of friends who
post so much that they barely notice most of them.
 Ready? Deleting someone on Facebook is simple:
Go to the person’s timeline or proile
Click the ‘Friends’ button
Click ‘Unfriend’ in the menu
Click the ‘Remove from Friends’ button
Take a deep breath. That wasn’t so hard, was it?
To unfriend or unfollow?
If you don’t want to fully remove a friend or are feeling
anxious about the whole thing, you can choose to unfollow
that person instead. This means you’ll technically still be
friends and able to visit each other’s proiles, but their posts
won’t automatically appear in your feed.
To do this, head to their proile, and untick the ‘Following’
box under their proile picture. Alternatively, when they
post, click the three dots to the right of their message and a
menu will come up allowing you to then unfollow them.
If you don’t want them seeing any of your posts, go to
your privacy settings and click on ‘Who can see your future
posts?’. Here you add people from your friend list and
prevent them seeing your updates.
Be brave
Decluttering Facebook friends can be beneicial for
mental wellbeing. If those you deleted live far away, you
probably won’t have to deal with them again. It may be
best to prepare for people who do notice to ask why you
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: FERN CHOONET
removed them. You’ll have to decide whether to tell them
the truth or brush it of as a spot of decluttering to leave
only people you see regularly. It may be awkward, but
you made the decision to remove them and probably
rarely see them, so stick with your decision. It may feel
uncomfortable, but they – and you – will survive.
It’s OK to look after yourself
It’s natural to feel guilty if you’re unfriending someone but
remember why you’ve decided to remove them. Instead,
focus on friendships you want to nurture and go back to
Facebook being a positive experience for you, sharing it
with people you know and like. Consider how easily you
used to add people as friends and how you might be more
careful in future. It’s good to value your privacy and to
know the people on your Facebook list.
How to cope if you’ve been removed
If someone you liked deletes you from their friends list, it
will hurt. Firstly, consider if they’re a close friend you see
often or just an online friend.
If it’s a ‘real-life’ friend and someone you thought you
were close to, you might want to ask them why they’ve hit
the Unfriend button and see whether you can repair the
relationship (if that’s what you want).
If it’s an online-only friend, consider the kinds of posts
you’ve been making and whether you think your online
behaviour could have prompted their decision. If you’re
sure your posts have been A-OK, accept they might simply
be decluttering their friends list based on what they want
at the moment and that it’s not personal.
It does sting, but you have other friends who are
more deserving of your attention. Try to focus on them.
Remember, it’s better to have a small group of close friends
than hundreds of people you don’t really know.
59
 You may come from a family where your grandparents

Age-gap always seem to be around, helping out in some way

whenever they can. Alternatively, perhaps they live

buddies
so far away that they can only visit infrequently.
As with most things in life, it’s the quality, not the
quantity that’s important. Having a close relationship
with grandparents when you do see them is what
really matters – and some research suggests this
bond can positively inluence how you feel overall.

60
 How can these particular relationships have
a positive inluence on your wellbeing?
Relationships with grandparents are often very diferent to
the ones you have with your parents. You might feel more
able to open up to them about some of the things that are
bothering you and they might have more time to be able to
listen to you and give you attention when you need it most.
When things aren’t going so well at home, grandparents
can also act as a bufer against the circumstances, helping
you to catch your breath for a moment and cope. Close
relationships between younger and older generations
can also help both groups to better understand the issues
and challenges that each is facing. It’s mutually beneicial.
You can learn a lot about navigating the ups and downs
of life from people who have already been there and done
it. They can share with you how they got through it all.
Being connected to older generations within your family
can also give you a greater understanding of what makes strengthen your relationship with them. This is when
you the way you are (did you get your nose or wicked building bonds with people from an older generation –
sense of humour from Nana or Grandad?) and a broader even when there are no family ties – can bring beneits
picture of your family background. For example, you may of their own.
ind out more about what your parents were like growing Care homes for older people often ofer volunteering
up, the trials and tribulations they went through, helping opportunities. These are not only great experiences to
you to appreciate them better during trickier times. pop on your CV (see page 44), but you’ll feel good, knowing
that you are contributing positively to someone else’s day.
What’s in it for older people? Older neighbours are another area for ofering potential
Life for some people, especially those who are older, can be support and developing friendships and those with little
lonely. If they have few social interactions it can afect their or no local family may appreciate and beneit from help
wellbeing. Many take pride and joy in spending time with with shopping or assistance in caring for their pets.
their grandchildren, and often love hearing about what
they’ve been up to recently. Research suggests that Emotional takeaway
intergenerational contact and shared activities boosts Taking time out of your day to spend with older relatives
the emotional and mental wellbeing of older people. or members of your community is a win-win situation. The
beneits both for their wellbeing and yours are clear.
What if your grandparents are no longer around or The long-lasting sense of pride and satisfaction from giving
contact with them isn’t possible? time to someone else can also help build your own sense
Perhaps your grandparents aren’t alive any more, or there of self-esteem and give you an important insight that you
are historical family reasons why you might not be able to can then carry with you into your own older years.
WORDS: DR SARAH MAYNARD. ILLUSTRATIONS: STEPHANIE HOFMANN

Tips for strengthening your relationship with your grandparents

You could ask your grandparents
over for lunch (if it’s not too far or
inconvenient for them to travel to
you) or arrange a date to visit them
and spend some uninterrupted time
chatting. If you have a shared interest,
such as supporting the same football
team or having a mutual TV show you
love to watch, this is a great starting
point and a natural springboard to
enjoying your time together.
Being interested in the lives they
lived when they were your age is also a
good way to get to know them better.
You may even be able to arrange a
nostalgic trip out with them. If your
grandparent is technologically savvy,
regular texts, emails or social media
contact can let them know that you’re
thinking about them (and, of course,
you can share your technological
skills with them too). Otherwise, try
traditional letter writing. It’s a tried and
tested way to brighten up anybody’s
day and show you care.
Don’t forget that your parents can
often be the ‘gatekeepers’ to your
contact with your grandparents, so it
may be a good idea to let them know
irst that you would like to see your
grandparents more. It could be a way
to bring the whole family together.

61
 Novel pastime
Step into new worlds, see a diferent point of view, travel on adventures, spend time with
beloved characters. How? Bookworms with teetering TBR (To Be Read) piles already know
that by opening a novel you can allow yourself to laugh, cry, be distracted from problems
and take time to be still. Read on to ind out how it could become your life-long passion…

Find your source material

If you’re going to read a lot of books,
you’ll probably want to look beyond
high-street bookstores. The school
library, local council library and
second-hand or charity shops are all
great places to ind cheap, pre-read
options. You could try organising
book-swaps with some friends.

Use social media

Although reading is usually a solitary
activity, there’s a big community of
bloggers and vloggers out there who
love to talk about their latest inds
and ofer book recommendations.

Make it a day out

Keep an eye on local literature festivals
or bookshops for in-store author
events. There are several festivals for
YA (Young Adult) readers, including
the three-day YALC (Young Adult
Literary Convention) held in London
every summer. It’s packed with panels
of authors talking about their books,
which they’ll also autograph for you.

62
 FANCY A READING CHALLENGE?
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut reading the same author or type of book.
If you’d like to try some new authors, experiment with diferent types
of writing or if you’re just the kind of person who likes to have a target
and a tick-list, you could try one of these reading challenges:

Challenge One Read:

a classic novel
a magazine (like this one – you’ve got your irst tick!)
a book that’s been made into a movie
a graphic novel
a funny book
Join a book club
This is a great way to be introduced to books Challenge Two Read:
that you might not have picked yourself, but a newspaper
end up really liking. It’s also a way to discuss a book you own but you’ve never read
themes and ideas with other people who are a book recommended by a friend
as passionate as you are about books. a book with fewer than 200 pages
a poem
You can often ind book clubs arranged in a
college or local council library, where members Challenge Three Read:
are generally given between a fortnight and a a book set in another country
month to read the book. If you can’t ind a book a short story
club to join, think about setting one up with a book that has won a prize
your friends and then taking turns to host it a non-iction book
(you could even theme it according to the a book with magic in it
chosen book with food, drink and outits).
Sometimes, a publisher will include discussion Challenge Four Read:
points in the book on its website. If not, here a book set more than 50 years ago
WORDS: TRACY DARNTON. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

are a few general questions to get you started: a book based on a myth or folk tale
a book set in a school or college
Did you enjoy this book? Why? Why not? a sci-i fantasy
Did you get hooked into the story immediately? your parents’ favourite books when they were your age
What do you think were the main themes?
What did you want to happen to the central Challenge Five Read a book with a…
characters after the end of the book? number in the title
Who would you pick to play the characters yellow cover
in a movie adaptation? one-word title
colour in the title
and a book written by an author with the same irst name
Is it OK to give up on a book? or surname as you
Yes. You don’t expect to like everyone you meet
in real life or love every TV programme or ilm Challenge Six Over to you. Write your own reading challenge list
you see – it’s the same with books. Some will for you and your friends or family using new ideas or picking your
thrill you, while others will leave you cold. If you favourite suggestions from the ive challenges:
give a book a go but can’t get on with it, pick
another one. One day you might return to a Read:
1.
book that didn’t grab you and ind that you love
it – but there’s no need to fret about it now. 2.

3.

4.

5.

63
 take a moment
If you ind yourself feeling frazzled after a maths text, anxious after a squabble with a sibling
or confused because a friend’s blanked you, take a pause, breathe slowly and try this exercise
– if you can ind a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed it’ll be even better

1 Place one hand lat in front of you. This could be 6 Again, pause and breathe, before slowly tracing
on your desk, the kitchen table, the bed, the top along the facing line of the foreinger to the tip.
of your tablet, or even your lap. Pause and breathe once more before continuing to
trace the line down the opposite side of the inger.

WORDS: CATHERINE KIELTHY

2 Spread your ingers widely and evenly.
7 Repeat the pausing, breathing and tracing for the
3 Take a deep breath. middle, ring and little ingers before coming to rest at
the outer edge of the wrist of your outstretched hand.
4 Now, with the foreinger of your other hand, begin
tracing your outstretched hand. As you draw your 8 Take a deep breath and continue your day.
hand, try to let anxious thoughts loat away. Focus
on the feeling and motion of your foreinger as you
trace every aspect of your outstretched hand.

5 Start at the inner point of your wrist (facing your

body) and slowly trace around the outside edge
of your thumb. When you reach the tip, pause and
breathe. Then follow the line down the inside of the
thumb to the point where it meets the foreinger.

64
 WHAT DOES HAPPINESS LOOK LIKE?
Is it watching your dad baking bread, a friend dancing to a
favourite song or your dog retrieving a stick (for the 10th time)?
Write or draw here scenes that always deliver a happy hit

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