SAYING GOODBYE

I can hardly believe that June is half over. After today, we have two more Sundays left. Perhaps
this week has caught up to us quicker than we thought it would.

But the goodbyes are beginning. Saying goodbye to a minister and a congregation is a little
different from saying goodbye to a neighbour or friend. So I think it’s important to clarify some
of those differences.

We may have trouble separating friendships from the congregational relationships which we have
developed over the past years. Maybe it is impossible to separate the two aspects.

But there are significant differences which we need to take into account. Friendships don’t end
just because someone moves away. Friendships can continue even across great distances, albeit
in very different ways.

As I said last Sunday, another reality we need to recognize is that any change involves grief. All
of us are experiencing some form of loss right now. The grieving began months ago, when this
congregation passed the motion that started this process of disbanding.

Actually, I suspect that the grieving goes back much further,– years, perhaps even decades,– as
you began to recognise the reality that the aging and diminishing congregation was not
sustainable.

Unfortunately, that realisation usually triggers one of those spiral reactions: as people realise that
the congregation is not sustainable, they start withdrawing, and even withholding their support;
and the congregation becomes less sustainable, and more people withdraw and withhold... and so
on.

Grief evokes many emotions and reactions, from shock to betrayal to bargaining to hurt to
acceptance. The key to healthy grieving is letting the grief run its natural course. Unhealthy
grieving will only interfere with our future involvement in church life, and get in the way of
establishing healthy relationships in a new setting.

Change can be good, even helpful. Especially in church life, varieties in styles and personalities
serve to broaden perspectives and offer different view points. Each person in a congregation
responds to different ideas and different approaches.

I know that ten people can get ten different messages out of the same sermon or worship service.
Nine people hearing the sermon won’t get anything significant out of it, while the tenth might be
touched deeply by it. And the same sermon preached a week later would probably touch someone
else instead.

I have appreciated the feedback I’ve received during my time among you here,– and not just
because it has been generally positive. For one thing, offering feedback shows that you are
paying attention, and that’s a good thing.

I also believe it shows that we were able to connect to each other as congregation and minister. I
hope it means that I was a good fit for this time and place.
And now, as our time together is drawing to a close, we need to consider our futures.

Although I don’t know yet what is next in terms of my ministry, I know I am looking forward to
having the summer “off” from church work. Not that I haven’t appreciated our time together, but
I am constantly reminded that I don’t have the energy now that I had 20 or 30 years ago.

But I do have some stained glass projects and a “honey-do” list which will need some attention.
And our pipe band is planning a trip to Fredericton, NB, at the end of July. We are entering a
competition as part of the Highland Games there, so I need to practice, practice, practice...

So what about you? I understand that you might be ready for a break from church work as well.
These past few months have been hard work in many ways. I also appreciate the fact that Kirk
United Church has been your source of support and healing for a long time,– a lifetime, for some
of you.

As I said last Sunday, we need to find other sources of that support and healing. In families, when
someone dies, part of the grieving and healing is figuring out how to fill the hole left by the
death, and that often means other family members pick up some of the pieces of the person’s
life’s work.

If Mom was the one who kept the rest of the family in touch, who will do that now that she’s
gone? If Dad was the one who remembered all the birthdays and anniversaries, who will take on
that task?

As it is in families, so it is in congregations. After the disbanding of Kirk United Church, life for
each of us will go on, albeit in very different ways. I do sincerely hope that you will be open to
making new connections in another congregation.

I know that some of you already chosen where you want to go next. The rest of you will be
receiving a letter in the next few days, along with your membership certificate. The letter will try
to explain that your membership is kind of “in limbo” until you decide where to have it
transferred.

Our membership in a congregation is one way we live out our response to God’s call to
discipleship. No, it is not the only way, but participating in a community of faith provides us with
encouragement when we are discouraged, correction when we are off track, and healing when we
are wounded.

This major change in our lives can be seen as an opportunity, a time to hear God’s word in fresh
ways, an time to examine some of our concepts and ideas. After all, one of the purposes of
coming to church is to work at changing ourselves for the better, as we seek to respond to God’s
call.

I think that is what Paul was trying to get at in the passage we heard from his Letter to the
Romans. He writes about boasting of our troubles, because trouble produces endurance,
endurance brings God’s approval, and God’s approval brings hope.

On the surface, this seems like a flippant comment, just like saying to a parent grieving the death
of a child, “It was God’s will...” In our experience, suffering is not something we seek or pursue.
But think about the times we suffer, and the effect suffering has on us. We often don’t even think
about the deeper questions of life until we are suffering. It takes something like an illness or
death or major change to make us stop and ask, “What does this all mean?”

When we start asking that kind of question, we begin to understand something about God. And
then our suffering can begin to offer us hope. Our responses to the challenges and struggles of
life form the foundation of our faith.

God has chosen different ways to reach out to us, in order to communicate more effectively with
us. We can experience God as Father, or Creator. We can experience God as Jesus, God
embodied in human flesh. We can experience God as Holy Spirit, Helper and Guide.

The concept of the Trinity grew out of this human reality. Each aspect reveals something
different about God. God as Creator shows that God has authority and power over creation. God
as Jesus shows that God has experienced the human condition. God as Holy Spirit shows that
God is still present with us.

The three aspects complement each other. Any one of the three seen without the other two is an
incomplete view of God. Our response to these three aspects of God depends on our own
experiences and personalities.

On this Trinity Sunday, we encounter again the God who creates and delights in us; the God who
loves us, frees us, and calls us into discipleship; the God who challenges or comforts us as
necessary.

We are invited to explore images of God: Creator, Wisdom, Saviour, Spirit who guides into all
truth. May God continue to bless all of us in our search for understanding, insight, and faith.

As the hymn we are about to sing puts it, “The church is not a building, the church is not a
steeple, the church is not a resting place, the church is a people! ... We are the church together.”

Let us pray. O God, we celebrate the mystery of the many ways you are revealed to us. We
rejoice in the gift of living each day in relationship with you as Christ’s disciples. We give thanks
for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You call us to be your community. Help us respond in faith,
even as we discover your presence with us. Amen.

HYMN (No. 84 All God’s Children Sing): “We Are the Church” (R. Avery & D. Marsh)

Chorus:
I am the church! You are the church!
We are the church together!
All who follow Jesus, All around the world!
Yes, we're the church together!

The church is not a building, the church is not a steeple,

The church is not a resting place, the church is a people! (Chorus)

We're many kinds of people with many kinds of faces,

All colours and all ages, too from all times and places. (Chorus)
And when the people gather there's singing and there's praying,
There's laughing and there's crying sometimes, all of it saying: (Chorus)

I count if I am 90, or 9 or just a baby,

There's one thing I am sure about and I don't mean maybe: (Chorus)