A GUIDEBOOK

FOR CONFESSION
The Sacrament of Reconciliation

••

BI H?

i
1 1

I
Scepter
 The sacrament
of reconciliation and
penance L< one of
the great helps to friendship
with God and spiritual progress.
This booklet advises on
ways to prepare for confession —
a necessa/y step to making
a good confession and avoiding
the routine which can so
easily creep into religious
practice.

ISBN 0-933932-98-7

9 '780933"932982
 A GUIDEBOOK
FOR CONFESSION
The Sacrament of Reconciliation

edited by

Ddnal 0 Cuilleanain

Scepter Publishers
PO Box 1270
Princeton, NJ 08542
Published by Scepter Publishers, Inc., P.O. Box
1270, Princeton, N.J. 08542, with ecclesiastical
approval.

Coven Pope John Paul II is shown leaving the

confessional in St. Peter's Basilica where he
hears confessions on Good Friday each year.
(Photo source: Catholic News Service)

ISBN 0-933932-98-7

© 1996 Scepter Publishers

Printed in the United States of America
 Table of Contents

Words of our Holy Father 4-5

1. A Helping Hand 6

2. The New Rite of Penance 10

3. How to Make a Good Confession... 12

4. The Apostolate of Reconciliation.... 20

5. An Examination of Conscience 24

6. The Commandments of the Church

and Some Basic Prayers 37
T HE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION is a funda-
mental part of the Church's life and mission.
Without overlooking any of the many ways in
which Christ's victory over sin becomes a reality
in the life of the Church and of the world, it is
important for me to emphasize that it is above all
in the Sacrament of Forgiveness and Reconcil-
iation that the power of the redeeming blood of
Christ is made effective in our personal lives....
In different parts of the world there is a great
neglect of the Sacrament of Penance. This is
sometimes linked to an obscuring of the reli-
gious and moral conscience, a loss of the sense of
sin, or a lack of adequate instruction on the
importance of this Sacrament in the life of
Christ's Church. At times the neglect occurs
because we fail to take seriously our lack of love
and justice and God's corresponding offer of rec-
onciling mercy. Sometimes there is a hesitation
or an unwillingness to accept maturely and
responsibly the consequences of the objective
truths of faith. For these reasons it is necessary to
emphasize once again that "with regard to the
substance of the Sacrament there has always
remained firm and unchanged in the conscious-
ness of the Church the certainty that, by the will
of Christ, forgiveness is offered to each individ-
ual by means of sacramental absolution given by
the ministers of penance" (Reconciliatio et Paeni-
tentia, 30).
Again I ask all my brother bishops and
priests to do everything possible to make the
administration of this Sacrament a primary
aspect of their service to God's people. There can
be no substitute for the means of grace which
Christ himself has placed in our hands.
—Pope John Paul II, Ad Limina
address to American bishops
April 15,1983
 1. A helping hand

Do you want a hand? Have you been toying with

the idea of making a really good confession? Have
you been putting it off for some time: for months,
maybe for years? Do you find it hard to examine
your conscience, among other reasons, because
you are not really sure what the commandments
are all about? Then perhaps you need a bit of a
hand: this booklet has been written with that in
mind.
Out of the rut
Even if you go to confession regularly, what I have
to say may help you get out of the rut of routine
and help you discover new ways of serving and
loving God and your neighbor—perhaps of help-
ing others discover the joys of reconciliation.
God's mercy and confession
When preparing for the sacrament of reconciliation
remember that it is the sacrament of God's love,
mercy, and forgiveness. He is like the father of the
prodigal son: he has been waiting for you for a long
time (Lk 15:11-32). God is not testing your memo-
ry, but he is asking you to try to pinpoint those
actions of yours which are sinful, which have their
roots in a sinful attitude or habit, and which have
left you in a state of sin. He wants you to repent, to
confess, and to resolve to work at overcoming any
such sinful habit or attitude.
 7
The power to forgive sins
It was because he knew our weakness that our
Lord gave the power to his apostles and their suc-
cessors to forgive sins. On the very day of his res-
urrection he said to his apostles: "Receive the Holy
Spirit; whose sins you shall forgive, they are for-
given them; and whose sins you shall retain, they
are retained" (Jn 20: 23).
Sins and sins
Everyone knows almost by instinct that some sins
are worse than others. There is a gradation from
sins that are comparatively slight infractions of
God's law to those that are heinous crimes. But
along that line of gradation there is one crucial cut-
off point. That is the distinction that the Church has
always made between venial and mortal sins.
When the sin involves grave matter, or some-
thing that we personally believe is grave, when
there is full knowledge of what we are doing, and
full consent, then the sin is mortal. This means that
it is so serious that it cuts us off from our union
with God through sanctifying grace, the life of God
within us, and thereby closes to us the gates of
heaven, if we were to have the misfortune of dying
in that state.
A sin is venial when the matter of the sin is not
grave, or if there is a lack of full knowledge and full
consent to the sin. This distinction is important
because it is necessary for a valid confession to tell
all of the mortal sins that we have committed—at
least those that we can remember. It is not neces-
sary to confess venial sins although it is good to
confess at least some of them.
You should do your best to recall all mortal sins
committed since your last confession, but you
don't have to give a detailed description of them to
the priest: it is enough to say what the sins were
and how frequently you committed them. For your
own sake be brief and to the point.
Clarifications
Don't worry if the priest asks you a few questions
or suggests that you make a few clarifications. He
is only trying to help you make a good and com-
plete confession, and being a good doctor of souls,
he may need to ask about a few other symptoms
you may have overlooked. He will not pry, but he
will often want to ensure he gives you the best
treatment and advice. It might be helpful if you tell
him something of your personal circumstances—
whether you are married or single, working, study-
ing, or unemployed, etc. And it might be a good
idea to ask him to help you with a few questions
once you have said your bit.
SIMS of
omission
In going through the examination of conscience
towards the end of this booklet, you may find some
questions which don't refer to any particular sinful
action, but rather to omissions of something good.
Some omissions can be sins of omission, and can be
quite common, especially in our duties of justice
and charity towards God and others.
Reconciliation with God and others
The sacrament of penance is now frequently
called the sacrament of reconciliation because it
first reconciles us with God, and then reconciles
us with our neighbor, particularly with the other
members of the Church, the Mystical Body of
Christ. We are all supernaturally united in such a
way that when one of us offends God by sinning,
this harms everyone else at the same time; and
when we repent, or pray, or perform an act of
charity, we are helping everyone else.
Spiritual guidance
If you haven't been to confession for some time
and you want to make a fresh start in your
Christian life, then make the resolution to go to the
sacrament of penance again soon. Maybe there are
a lot of things about your faith that you are not too
sure about, maybe there are lots of questions you
would like to get answers to: then why not ask a
priest for spiritual counselling or guidance? You
will be surprised how helpful it can be.
10
2. How to go to confession according to
the new rite of penance

1. Priest welcomes you as you enter the confessional: "Grace

to make a good confession" or "I welcome you in the
name of Christ."

You: make the sign of the cross: IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER,
AND OF THE SON, AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. AMEN.

2. Priest says: "May God, who has enlightened every

heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his
mercy."

You: (If you wish, read or recite some passage from Sacred
Scripture. For example: LORD, YOU KNOW ALL THINGS;
You KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. [In 21:17])

3. You, begin your confession: BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE

SINNED, IT HAS BEEN [tell how long] SINCE MY LAST
CONFESSION. THESE ARE MY SINS: (Tell your sins, the num-
ber of times, any necessary circumstances, even the roots
of sin.)
Then say: FOR THESE AND ALL THE SINS OF MY LIFE, (ESPE-
CIALLY FOR [sins against such and such
commandment or virtue]) I AM SORRY.

4. You: make your Act of Contrition (after the priest gives

you any advice and your penance): O, MY GOD, I AM
HEARTILY SORRY FOR HAVING OFFENDED YOU, AND I
DETEST ALL MY SINS BECAUSE OF YOUR JUST PUNISHMENTS;
BUT MOST OF ALL, BECAUSE THEY OFFEND YOU, MY G O D ,
 11
WHO ARE ALL-GOOD AND DESERVING OF ALL MY LOVE. I
FIRMLY RESOLVE, WITH THE HELP OF YOUR GRACE, TO SIN
NO MORE AND TO AVOID THE NEAR OCCASIONS OF SIN.

Or: use your own words of sorrow, or a text from Scripture, for
example: "LORD, HAVE MERCY ON ME, A SINNER" (Lk
18:13).
5. The priest gives the absolution, and when he makes the
sign of the cross, you answer: AMEN
Priest may say: "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good."
You could then say: "His MERCY ENDURES FOREVER."
Priest: "The Lord has freed you from your sins.
Go in peace."
You say: THANK YOU, FATHER.

THE FIVE STEPS OF CONFESSION

(Pray to God the Holy Spirit for his light
and his grace.)
1. Examine your conscience.
2. Be sorry for your sins, try to have the perfect
sorrow of love.
3. Make a firm resolution not to sin again, and to
avoid the near occasions of sin.
4. Tell all your sins in the confessional.
5. Do your penance promptly.
12
3. How to make a good confession

We should do all in our power to ready ourselves

for that sacramental reconciliation with God. Let's
examine how we can make more of this sacramen-
tal aid by improving its five essential elements:
examination of conscience, repentance, purpose of
amendment, telling our sins, and fulfilling the
penance.
Examining our conscience
In seeking God's pardon for our sins, the first
thing we have to do is examine our conscience to
uncover the faults which have offended him.
There is no fixed way to do this. Methods may
vary as much as one's personal circumstances:
child or adult, married or single, manual worker
or professional, one who confesses every week or
one who confesses at rare intervals. But we are all
obliged to observe the same commandments;
everyone is called to a good Christian life
If we want to examine ourselves well, we
should ask our Lady and our guardian angel for
help. From the Holy Spirit they will obtain for us
the light we need not to overlook faults we might
ignore more or less unconsciously. If we want our
confession to be a means of advancing in the spir-
itual life, in love of God, we must examine our-
selves carefully, putting at least as much interest
into it as we would in any other important matter.
 13
Our examination need not be complicated or dif-
ficult; what really matters is that we make sure
nothing important remains hidden in some corner
of our soul.
We may be so accustomed to our usual way of
acting that only exceptional things attract our
attention. But we cannot limit ourselves to a super-
ficial glance at the past. We should go after those
faults committed out of habit, acts which little by
little cause real damage to the soul.
Lukewarmness, negligence in fulfilling our per-
sonal duties, frivolity in speech, negative judg-
ments of others (even if more or less true), omitted
duties to our neighbor, lies, not keeping our word,
worldliness in our amusements or social and family
relations, lack of moderation, curiosity, voluntary
distractions at Mass or prayer, carelessness in our
spiritual life, resistance to God's grace calling us to
certain acts of virtue, and so on—all these matters
merit our attention, self-accusation and whole-
hearted repentance in the sacrament of pardon.
Purified thus by God's grace, we will advance a
little each day on the way of personal sanctity.
Contrition
If we are to "make up" with God, we must be sorry
for our misdeeds. But repentance, or sorrow of
heart, should not be understood as something
emotional. One of the conditions essential to the
14
sacrament of penance is not missing just because we
fail to weep over our faults or feel sorry for them.
Sorrow for sin, moreover, does not mean that a
sinful action no longer appeals to us. It means that
we have firmly decided to detest it. Repentance
should in some way refer to God, otherwise it
would not draw us close to him or win his pardon.
Sorrow based on merely human motives would
leave us entrapped within the narrow walls of our
own poverty.
Fundamentally there are three kinds of sorrow
for sin. The first, sometimes called sorrow of love,
perfect contrition,* or simply "contrition," springs
from the heart: "Sorrow of Love because he is
good; because he is your Friend, who gave his life
for you; because everything good you have is his;
because you have offended him so much; because
he has forgiven you. He! Forgiven you! Weep, my
son, with sorrow of Love."**
The second, sorrow of fear or "attrition," also
sometimes called "imperfect contrition," proceeds
from fear of the punishment due in the next life for

*Note: Perfect contrition is in itself powerful enough to for-

give even mortal sins, but this requires the intention of con-
fessing the sin sacramentally as soon as possible. Persons
who have cornmitted a mortal sin are not permitted to
receive Communion until they have received sacramental
absolution.
**Josemaria Escriva, The Way, Chicago, 1954, point no. 436.
 15
our sins. It is not as perfect or disinterested as con-
trition. But since fear of God's retribution at least
refers to our Lord, it suffices to win God's pardon.
A third form of sorrow, which is not supernat-
ural, results from pride. It originates not in love or
fear of God, but in a self-love wounded by the
spectacle of its own shortcomings. We are hurt and
humiliated not by the offense against God, but by
our own littleness. We should try to avoid this kind
of sorrow for sins, for instead of aiming at God's
pardon, we would then be seeking ourselves, seek-
ing our own self-perfection.
Purpose of amendment
The sorrow caused by our sins would not be sin-
cere if it were not accompanied by the determina-
tion not to sin again. But to make a good confes-
sion, it is not necessary to be certain that we will
never again offend our Lord in the same way. What
is needed is the will to use the means that can help
us avoid that sin in the future. The fear of future
falls should not keep us away from the sacrament.
A patient doesn't refuse medicine just because he
knows he is likely to get sick again.
A person determined not to fall again sets about
avoiding the occasions of sin. Let's not fool our-
selves. If we want to give up sinning we have to
use the necessary means. A patient who wants to
be cured takes the medicine and follows the diet
prescribed by the doctor. If he doesn't, it can't be
16
said—no matter how you look at it—that he really
wants to get well. "But I don't want to sin; it's just
that I'm weak." And that's why we have to avoid
occasions of sin. In die wrong setting each of us
becomes a pushover.
Our "purpose of amendment" is also shown in
our willingness to use positive means to strengthen
ourselves. And the primary means are prayer ("Pray
that you may not enter into temptation" [Lk 22:46]),
frequent—if possible daily—reception of the
Eucharist, and devotion to the Blessed Virgin. How
can we conquer temptations to sensuality, laziness,
selfishness, and so on, if we do not turn to our Lord
and his Mother asking for the necessary strength?
"Consider what depths of mercy lie in the Justice
of God! For, according to human justice, he who
pleads guilty is punished, but in the divine court,
he is pardoned. Blessed be the holy Sacrament of
Penance!"*
Confession "directly to God"
Some mink that an interior conversion is enough to
return to God's good graces after sinning, that all
they need do is tell God that they are deeply sorry
for having offended him. But such persons forget
that it was Jesus himself who said, "Whose sins
you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and
whose sins you shall retain, they are retained" (Jn

The Way, no. 309.

 17
20: 23). Because no one is a good judge in his own
cause, the power to pardon or not has been com-
mitted by Christ to his ministers to be exercised in
the tribunal of penance. If they are to grant or deny
pardon, priests must know the sins and interior
dispositions of the penitents.
Telling our sins
The accusation of all mortal sins and their precise
number, if we know it, is called by theologians the
integrity of the confession. Confession will be
incomplete if we omit some mortal sin or fail to
declare the number of times it was committed.
(This can, of course, be approximate if we don't
remember the exact number.) Confession should be
sincere, very sincere. It is useless to attempt to hide
mortal sins or remain silent about them. Such
silence would increase the number of sins by
adding a new one—the abuse of a sacrament—
which is a further offense against God. Moreover,
none of the sins confessed would be pardoned. If
this omission were due, not to bad will, but to an
involuntary oversight, we would be forgiven that
sin too, but the obligation to mention it in the fol-
lowing confession would remain.
To avoid getting tongue-tied, it is advisable to
say first what is most difficult or what most
shames us. Thus we avoid the danger of passing
over it or remaining silent through embarrass-
ment at the last moment. Sometimes it might be
18
advisable to let the priest know that it is hard for
us to confess such sins. Then he can help us
through his questions to make a good confession.
If we do this, the rest comes easy. We should con-
fess as delicately as possible, but without search-
ing for such polite ways of saying things that the
confessor comes to regard our defects as little
short of virtues.
Fulfilling the penance
Once we have confessed our sins, the priest impos-
es a penance. Because we don't fully understand
the malice of sin, we seldom grasp the need for
penance. Those who die in mortal sin suffer the
eternal punishments of hell (cf. Catechism of the
Catholic Church [from here on referred to as CCC]
1035). Those who die in venial sin undergo purifi-
cation in purgatory so as to achieve the holiness
necessary to enter heaven. The Tradition of the
Church speaks of a cleansing fire of purification,
though it is entirely different from the punishment
of the damned (cf. CCC 1030-1031).
On receiving sacramental absolution, our sins—
and the punishment due us—are pardoned by
God. It often happens, however, that our disposi-
tions are not always perfect when we approach
confession. In this case our sins are forgiven, but
we are not granted total remission of the punish-
ment.
 19
An article of faith corifirms this, and the very
existence of purgatory demonstrates that part of
our punishment is still to be paid even after the
faults have been pardoned. Sin leaves traces in the
soul which must be cleansed either in this life or in
purgatory, where the souls of those who died truly
repentant complete the satisfaction for faults they
committed during their lives. Does expiating our
sins here on earth mean converting life into a tor-
ture chamber? Quite the contrary. Our life on earth
should be a time of joy as we begin to taste the hap-
piness of heaven, but this is not really possible
until we learn to embrace suffering gladly.
Usually the best opportunities for penance are
right at hand. We don't have to go far to find an
occasion to offer something to God that requires a
little effort work well done, punctuality, order in
our personal effects, restraining a sharp tongue,
overcoming anger, guarding our senses, under-
standing people with different tastes and opinions,
small sacrifices at meals, getting up and going to
bed on time, finishing what we are doing, delaying
a smoke, putting things away, not being a pest, not
worrying about trifles, and so on. These ordinary
situations provide the best opportunity to mortify
ourselves and to offer God this prayer of the body.
Even in the case of little things, the value comes
from doing them out of love. And the proof of love
is cheerfulness.
20
4. The apostolate of reconciliation

Our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, has spoken

repeatedly about the need for a re-evangelization
of the West, of those traditionally Christian coun-
tries which are more and more giving up and for-
getting their Christian heritage. One of the things
that we can do to take part in this urgent task is to
try to bring back friends and family members to
the practice of confession—to get them to reconcile
themselves with God and with the Church.
Only Catholics can receive the sacrament of rec-
onciliation from a Catholic priest, and at least a
minimum knowledge of the truths of the faith is
also required. This is no longer something that can
be taken for granted, even among baptized
Catholics.
The basic truths
While if s best to try to get your friend or family
member to talk to a priest in spiritual direction as a
means of preparation for confession, you can also
give the necessary doctrinal information in conver-
sation or by means of some kind of instruction
class using a very basic text such as a simple cate-
chism. The person basically needs to have a belief
in God, the Creator and Redeemer, who rewards
the good and punishes the wicked; belief in the
Blessed Trinity; belief in the incarnation and
redemption of Jesus Christ; belief in the Holy
 21
Spirit; and readiness to believe all that a Christian
should, even though he or she may not know many
of the truths of their faith yet.
The basic steps
You should then explain the basic parts of the
sacrament of penance, enumerated in a previous
section of this booklet:
Examination of conscience
Sorrow for one's sins
Resolve to try to avoid them in the future
Confession of the sins to a priest
Performance of the penance given by the
priest in confession
The difference between mortal and venial sins
should be pointed out, as well as the need to con-
fess all mortal sins committed since the last valid
confession. (In some cases an approximation of the
number may be necessary.)
Sorrow and a resolution
In regard to sorrow for sins, one should point out
that it is not necessary to feel this sorrow in any sort
of emotional way. It is possible to have true sorrow
for sin even though the sin may continue to attract
us. And our sorrow may even be based on the fear
of the pains of hell and the loss of heaven (attri-
tion), as well as on love of God (contrition), with-
out making the confession invalid.
22
In regard to the resolution to avoid these sins in
the future, we could point out that this is a matter
of a decision of the will to try to avoid these sins
and this can exist at the same time as a fairly strong
expectation that one will probably fall into these
sins again. One should have the resolve of doing
one's best to avoid them, however.
Telling the sins
Confession must be made to a priest who has
received the power to forgive sins through ordi-
nation. One must mention how long it has been
since the last good confession. The more difficult
sins should be mentioned first, any that one is
particularly ashamed of, for example. Mention
should be made of any circumstances that make a
sin more serious. If one has trouble expressing
oneself, one can tell this to the priest and ask for
help. Any sins that are forgotten are forgiven, but
they should be told in the next confession. An act
of contrition or similar expression of sorrow is
said before the priest gives absolution or while he
is giving it. Leave when the priest indicates he is
finished, usually by saying something like "Go in
peace" or "God bless you."
The penance
The penance imposed by the priest should be said
as soon as possible so it is not forgotten, but one
 23
can receive Communion without having complet-
ed it. It is also good to do some additional penance
besides that imposed by the priest in order to help
satisfy our debt to God.
Further confessions
You can point out that it's not necessary to go to
confession again before receiving Communion if
one has not committed a mortal sin, but that it is
good to go to confession regularly, perhaps once a
month or every two weeks, as a means of growth
as a Christian and to help one persevere in the state
of grace. If one has not committed mortal sins one
should confess some venial sin or sins that one is
sorry for and it is good at the end to add something
like, "I am sorry for the sins of my past life, espe-
cially those a g a i n s t . . . . (such or such command-
ment or virtue)."

"Have recourse to confession; it's not there merely to

pardon grave sins or venial sins or even faults. It's
also there to strengthen us, to fill the soul with grace
and hasten us along, so that we might travel the road
more quickly. It will also show us how to be more
adept in struggling and to win, how to behave in
such a way that we live virtuously and detest sin."

—Blessed Josemaria Escriva, quoted in

Bulletin on the Life qfMsgr. Escriva, no. 5
24
5. A n examination of conscience

The first commandment

I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt not have strange

gods before me.
With this commandment God prohibits idolatry, a sin
which was very common long ago. Apart from pro-
hibiting sacrifices to idols, however, this command-
ment reminds us that God wants us to believe in him
as the one true God, to believe what he has revealed
to us and has passed on to us through the Church.
Without faith we cannot please God. God is our
Creator and Redeemer and Sanctifier, so we should
hope for our own salvation, and we should love God
above all things because he is infinitely lovable in
himself. Sins against the first commandment are very
often sins against faith, hope, and charity.
1. Have I doubted God's existence? Have I denied
my faith in thought, word, or deed?
2. Have I sought a deeper understanding of my
faith, and have I asked clarification of points I find
hard to grasp? Have I deliberately cast doubt on any
truth of faith which the Church teaches as having
been revealed by God?
3. Did I endanger my faith by joining or attending
meetings and activities of organizations contrary to
the Church or to Catholic faith (anti-Catholic gather-
ings, non-Catholic prayer meetings, Freemasonry,
cults, and other religions)?
 25
4. Have I put myself in danger of losing my faith
by what I have read?
5. Have I lost sight of God as a loving Father and
despaired of my salvation?
6. On the other hand, have I taken his mercy for
granted and sinned by presumption?
7. Have I been diligent in practicing my faith? Do
I pray regularly, knowing that by praying I practice
the virtues of faith, hope, and love?
8. Have I committed a sin of sacrilege, showing
disrespect to God by harming a sacred person, place
or thing? Have I received any of the sacraments
unworthily? Have I made a bad confession?
9. Am I sorry for these sins and does my purpose
of amendment embrace the desire to grow in faith,
hope, and love of God? Am I willing to make the
effort to obtain a more thorough knowledge of the
faith? Do I pray for a deeper faith: "Lord, I believe,
help my unbelief" (Mk 9: 24)?

The second commandment

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
It is only natural that we should honor the holy Name
of God because of who he is. The second command-
ment prohibits blasphemy and false oaths. It doesn't
prohibit "four-lettered" words: they are simply vulgar
and in bad taste, though of course they are sometimes
an expression of anger or bad temper, and as such
would come under the fifth commandment. It can be
more or less sinful to use God's name irreverently, as
26
an exclamation of annoyance or surprise; here we are
talking about profanities which we should avoid.
However, it would be a mortal sin to blaspheme in the
strict sense of the word, to swear falsely, or to take a
false oath.
1. Have I shown a lack of reverence to God's name
in conversation or exclamations? Am I willing to
make the effort to get rid of any bad habits in this
regard?
2. Have I sworn oaths lightly, calling God to wit-
ness the truth of what I say?
3. Have I spoken falsely under oath, for example
in a court of law?
4. Have I fulfilled promises made under oath?
5. Have I blasphemed? Did I cause scandal?

The third commandment

Keep holy the Sabbath day.

During the time of the Old Testament God command-
ed the people of Israel to set aside the Sabbath day for
worship. In the New Testament the Church, with the
authority Jesus Christ gave it, has told us how to do
this: by attending Mass, which is the supreme act of
adoration. It is very good for us to come together on
Sundays, as God's people, to give God this public
worship together, to hear God's word and to receive
the Blessed Eucharist. The Church also stipulates
additional ways in which we should worship God.
1. Did I miss Mass on Sundays or on holy days of
 27
obligation? Was I careless about arriving on time? Did
I do my best to pay attention?
2. Did I cause others to miss Mass, or was I a
source of distraction for them?
3. Did I always observe the required one hour fast
from any food and drink (except water) before receiv-
ing Holy Communion?
4. Did I fulfill my Easter duty of receiving Holy
Communion worthily, going to confession before-
hand if necessary?
5. Did I fulfill the penance the priest gave me in
my last confession?
6. Have I performed some act of penance on
Fridays as laid down by the bishops of this country?
Do I do so with the right intention?
7. In the home, as a parent, do I try to mark the
feast days of the Church with a little celebration?

The fourth commandment

Honor thy father and thy mother.
What makes for a happy family? Undoubtedly it is
important to ensure proper housing, recreational
facilities, and all those services which people can
almost take for granted in many parts of the world,
although there are still many who are very deprived.
With all that, and even without, family life will be all
that it can and should be if both parents and children
strive to live by, and love the fourth commandment
and try to reproduce the atmosphere of the Holy
Family in their home.
28
The fourth commandment also obliges us to obey
civil authority lawfully exercised in accordance with
God's law.

For children:
1. Have I been disobedient or disrespectful
towards my parents?
2. Have I neglected to help my parents in their
needs?
3. Did I treat my parents with little affection or
respect?
4. Do I feel hurt and react proudly when I am cor-
rected by them?
5. Have I been rude, sulky, uncooperative, or in-
communicative with my parents?
6. Do I do my house chores?
7. Do I quarrel with my brothers and sisters?
8. Do I take part in family prayer?
For parents:
1. Do I do everything possible to look after the
spiritual and material well-being and formation of my
children? Do I try to ensure they are assimilating their
education in the faith?
2. Do I make it easy for my children, especially the
older ones, to obey? Without abdicating my responsi-
bility and authority as a parent, do I try to educate
them in the use of freedom, loosening the "apron
strings" gradually?
3. Do I put time and effort into winning the
friendship and trust of my children so as to be able to
 29
give them effective orientation in life?
4. If one of my children were to receive a divine
vocation to God's service, would I welcome it and
encourage it?
5. Do I avoid taking it out on my children when I
am tired or in bad humor?
6. Do I obey lawful authority, civil and ecclesiasti-
cal? Do I teach my children to do likewise?
7. Do I neglect to watch over my children: the
companions they have, the books and magazines they
read, the movies and TV shows they watch?

The fifth commandment

Thou shalt not kill.

Violence, death, destruction, drug addiction, suicide:
these words appear so often in our daily newspa-
pers^—a sad and constant reporting of man's inhu-
manity to man, and a reminder of how important it is
for individuals and society to respect and defend the
right to life. The fifth commandment expresses this
and also prohibits inflicting injury on oneself or others.
1. Have I been physically violent towards others?
Have I injured anyone, except in the case of legitimate
self-defense?
2. Do I easily get angry or lose my temper? Do I
try to avoid using offensive or bad language?
3. Have I put other people's lives or my own in
danger by driving recklessly or under the influence of
alcohol?
30
4. Have I taken drugs, hard or soft? Have I
encouraged others to do so?
5. Have I taken part in, consented to, or been in
any way responsible for an abortion?
6. Do I eat or drink in excess, realizing that such
excess is damaging for my spiritual life and also
harmful to my health?
7. Do I allow myself to be dominated by the pas-
sions of anger, hatred, envy, jealousy, or desire for
revenge? Do I feed my anger by nursing grievances?
Am I willing to forgive real or imaginary offenses?
8. Was I an occasion for others to sin by my con-
versation, way of dressing, invitation to a particular
show, lending harmful books or magazines, etc.? Did
I try to repair the scandal I may have caused?
9. Did I neglect my health? Did I ever attempt to
take my life?
10. Do I make an effort to contribute towards an
improvement of the quality of life of those who suffer
hardship or neglect?

The sixth commandment

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

The fifth commandment reminds us that human life
is sacred. The sixth goes further: it tells us that the
channels through which human life comes are also
sacred. Sex is not a plaything but rather a means
whereby God brings men and women together to
form a lifelong partnership in marriage and involves
them in his work of creation (procreation). As an
 31
encouragement and as a reward to the self-giving of
husband and wife, God has made that union and
cooperation pleasurable and fulfilling. When people
treat their sexuality in a sacred way, respecting
God's law, whether married or single (and it does
make a difference), they are happier, enjoy life, are
more generous and thoughtful.
Those who offend against the sixth command-
ment, against the Christian virtues of modesty, purity,
and marital fidelity, inevitably treat sex and partners
merely as sources of pleasure; they become increas-
ingly selfish and less human, leaving less and less
room for love, human or supernatural. We should
realize that it is both possible and rewarding to live
pure lives without being prudish.
1. Have I committed the sin of adultery (sexual
intercourse when one or both of the participants is
married to someone else) or fornication (sexual inter-
course outside marriage)?
2. In courtship do I treat my companion with
respect and affection? Do I try to deepen the relation-
ship in accordance with God's Law, not contrary to it?
3. Do I engage in acts that involve or lead to pas-
sion such as "petting," "necking," passionate kisses,
and prolonged embraces?
4. Did I commit impure acts? By myself through
the practice of self-abuse (masturbation) which is an
intrinsically and gravely disordered action (CCC
2352)? With someone else? How many times? With
people of the same or opposite sex? Was there any cir-
cumstance of relationship, etc., that could make it
32
more serious? Did those actions lead to conception?
Did I do anything to prevent it? After the new life had
begun?
5. Do I put myself in danger of sinning against the
sixth commandment by the company I keep, by the
books and magazines I read, by the places I go to, by
the films I watch?
6. Did I engage in impure conversations? Did I
start them? Did I look at immodest pictures, or cast
immodest looks upon myself or others?
7. Have I made use of artificial contraception? Am
I aware of the Church's teaching on responsible par-
enthood (as explained, for example, in Humanae Vitae
and other papal documents)?
8. Do I strive to grow in love and affection
towards my spouse? Do I make a point of remember-
ing and celebrating birthdays and anniversaries? Do I
try to keep my love young?
9. When disagreements occur with my spouse, am
I quick to forgive and forget? Am I a good listener? Do
I try to be a source of cheerfulness and optimism in
the home, especially when faced with family or finan-
cial difficulties?

The seventh commandment

Thou shalt not steal

At long last, you might think, a straightforward com-
mandment. It is, if we are scrupulously honest, but if
we are even a little dishonest, it can become compli-
cated with if's and but's. Besides, the seventh com-
 33
mandment commands us to be just, to give everyone
his or her due, and if we unjustly deprive others of
their property, we are bound to restitution.
It stands to reason that if we commit a sin against
justice, then before it is forgiven we must have the
firm intention of making restitution as quickly as pos-
sible. Since this can be complicated at times, we
should ask the priest in confession for advice and
clarification as to what we should do.
A lot of human suffering would be eliminated, a
lot of hungry people would be fed, a lot of crime
would be eliminated if we all practiced the virtue of
justice scrupulously and crowned it with charity.
1. Have I stolen small or large sums of money, or
goods of small or great value? Am I willing to give
them back to their rightful owner?
2. Have I bought, or otherwise received, items
which I know or suspect to be stolen?
3. Am I extravagant in my expenses to the point of
incurring debts I know I may be unable to repay? Am
I living beyond my means?
4. Did I deliberately overcharge for something I
was selling?
5. Have I unlawfully broken a contract or business
agreement to the detriment of another person?
6. Have I obtained money or goods by deceit or
fraud?
7. Have I paid my taxes? Did I make truthful tax-
returns?
8. Have I paid a just wage to those who work for
me? Have I withheld wages, or obligatory payments
32
more serious? Did those actions lead to conception?
Did I do anything to prevent it? After the new life had
begun?
5. Do I put myself in danger of sinning against the
sixth commandment by the company I keep, by the
books and magazines I read, by the places I go to, by
the films I watch?
6. Did I engage in impure conversations? Did I
start them? Did I look at immodest pictures, or cast
immodest looks upon myself or others?
7. Have I made use of artificial contraception? Am
I aware of the Church's teaching on responsible par-
enthood (as explained, for example, in Humanae Vitae
and other papal documents)?
8. Do I strive to grow in love and affection
towards my spouse? Do I make a point of remember-
ing and celebrating birthdays and anniversaries? Do I
try to keep my love young?
9. When disagreements occur with my spouse, am
I quick to forgive and forget? Am I a good listener? Do
I try to be a source of cheerfulness and optimism in
the home, especially when faced with family or finan-
cial difficulties?

The seventh commandment

Thou shalt not steal

At long last, you might think, a straightforward com-
mandment. It is, if we are scrupulously honest, but if
we are even a little dishonest, it can become compli-
cated with if's and but's. Besides, the seventh com-
 33
mandment commands us to be just, to give everyone
his or her due, and if we unjustly deprive others of
their property, we are bound to restitution.
It stands to reason that if we commit a sin against
justice, then before it is forgiven we must have the
firm intention of making restitution as quickly as pos-
sible. Since this can be complicated at times, we
should ask the priest in confession for advice and
clarification as to what we should do.
A lot of human suffering would be eliminated, a
lot of hungry people would be fed, a lot of crime
would be eliminated if we all practiced the virtue of
justice scrupulously and crowned it with charity.
1. Have I stolen small or large sums of money, or
goods of small or great value? Am I willing to give
them back to their rightful owner?
2. Have I bought, or otherwise received, items
which I know or suspect to be stolen?
3. Am I extravagant in my expenses to the point of
incurring debts I know I may be unable to repay? Am
I living beyond my means?
4. Did I deliberately overcharge for something I
was selling?
5. Have I unlawfully broken a contract or business
agreement to the detriment of another person?
6. Have I obtained money or goods by deceit or
fraud?
7. Have I paid my taxes? Did I make truthful tax-
returns?
8. Have I paid a just wage to those who work for
me? Have I withheld wages, or obligatory payments
34
to social security or insurance schemes on behalf of
those who work for me?
9. Do I always do an honest day's work? Do I waste
time or materials at work, or cause others to do so?
10. Am I generous in giving alms? Do I support
needy and worthwhile causes?

The eighth commandment

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

It's not always easy to put a price on some items: how
much is that mountain or that island worth? If I steal
a sum of money from someone he will be at a loss but
if he is still working, or covered by insurance, he will
be able to get more money. But if I take away some-
one's good name through calumny, or detraction, or
innuendo, her reputation may be damaged for life.
We all have a right to our good name. It is a sin,
and often a grave sin, for someone to damage our
good name. Idle words and, of course, malicious
words can do a lot of damage to individuals, families,
and society.
The eighth commandment is a very beautiful one
because it commands us to make proper use of a fac-
ulty which we have and animals don't—the possi-
bility of expressing our thoughts orally. God wants us
to be sincere—to maintain a consistency between
what we think and what we say.
1. Have I taken away someone's good name by
calumny (falsely accusing him of something evil) or
 35
detraction (unnecessarily revealing a defect or evil
action)?
2. Have I made rash judgments about people's
actions or motives?
3. Have I insulted anyone? Have I hurt other peo-
ple's feelings? If so, have I apologized?
4. Have I broken trust by revealing a secret? In
particular, have I revealed or leaked confidential
information of a professional nature?
5. Have I indulged in gossip? Have I encouraged
others to gossip?
6. Have I told lies, to avoid embarrassment, to get
out of awkward situations, to look good, etc?
7. Am I willing to make a very sensible resolution:
to tell the truth always and not to say anything about
other people if it is not to their credit, except for very
grave reasons?

Ninth and tenth commandments

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
The last two commandments warn us off from such
thoughts or desires as would lead us to sin against
the sixth and seventh commandments respectively.
In the Sermon on the Mount our Lord refers indi-
rectly to these commandments when he says:
"Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see
God," "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven" (Mt 5:8,3). He also indicates the
malice of internal sins against the virtue of chastity:
36
"But I say to you that every one who looks at a
woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart" (Mt 5: 28).
When dealing with these internal sins, it's impor-
tant for us to distinguish between appetite and con-
senting to an illicit thought or desire. I may feel an
attraction to a person or thing in an illicit fashion, but
my rejection of the temptation will be meritorious in
God's eyes.
The materialistic attitudes of our times must sure-
ly spring from a scant regard for the tenth command-
ment, and the disregard for the dignity of the human
person, which we often bemoan, has a lot to do with
both of these commandments.
1. Have I deliberately indulged in lustful thoughts
or desires? Did I consent to impure feelings? Do I real-
ize that temptation is one thing, but to give in is
another? Do I try to control my imagination?
2. Do I avoid idleness, since it is often in the idle
moment that temptation comes?
3. Do I practice Christian detachment by not crav-
ing after the most recent fads or developments? Do I
complain when I lack comforts? Is my mood exces-
sively dependent on what I have or don't have?
4. Am I willing to give time and money generous-
ly, within my means, to alleviate the needs of others?
5. Do I help others without making a fuss?
6. Do I make a positive effort to rejoice at the good
fortune of others? Do I suppress any tendency to be
jealous of other people's good qualities, good luck, or
possessions?
 37
6. The commandments of the Church and
some basic Christian prayers
The Ten Commandments of God have been listed
at the beginning of the points of the Examination of
Conscience. The following are the Six Com-
mandments of the Church.
1. To assist at Mass on all Sundays and holy
days of obligation.
2. To fast and abstain on the days appointed.
3. To confess our sins at least once a year.
4. To receive Holy Communion during Easter
time.
5. To contribute to the support of the Church.
6. To observe the laws of the Church concerning
marriage.
The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy
name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on
earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily
bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us; and lead us not into
temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
The Hail Mary
Hail Mary, full of grace! the Lord is with you;
blessed are you among women, and blessed is the
38
fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the
Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and
ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

The Angelus
V. The angel of the Lord declared unto Mary.
R. And she conceived of the Holy Spirit.
Hail Mary....
V. Behold the handmaid of the Lord.
R. Be it done unto me according to thy word.
Hail Mary....
V. And the Word was made flesh.
R. And dwelt among us.
Hail Mary....
V. Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of
Christ.
Let us pray. Pour forth, we beseech thee, O Lord,
thy grace into our hearts, that we to whom the In-
carnation of Christ, thy Son, was made known by
the message of an angel, may by his passion and
 39
cross be brought to the glory of his resurrection,
through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

Regina Coeli

V. Queen of heaven, rejoice, Alleluia.

R. For he whom thou didst deserve to bear,
Alleluia.
V. Hath risen as he said, Alleluia.
R. Pray for us to God, Alleluia.
V. Rejoice and be glad, O Virgin Mary, Alleluia.
R. Because our Lord is truly risen, Alleluia.
Let us Pray. O God, who by the resurrection of thy
Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, hast vouchsafed to
make glad the whole world, grant, we beseech
thee, that, through the intercession of the Virgin
Mary, his Mother, we may attain the joys of eternal
life. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

Hail, Holy Queen

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our

sweetness, and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor
banished children of Eve. To thee do we send up
our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of
tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine
eyes of mercy toward us, and after this, our exile,
show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus,
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
40
The Memorare
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that
never was it known that anyone who fled to your
protection, implored your help, or sought your
intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this con-
fidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my
Mother. To you I come, before you I stand, sinful
and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but, in your mercy, hear
and answer me. Amen.

An Act of Contrition

O my God! I am heartily sorry for having offended

you, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the
loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all
because they offend you, my God, who art all-good
and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to
confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my
life. Amen.
I