13 Smart Halloween Costumes to Impress Your Boss

No one ever talks about using your Halloween costume to get ahead at work – until now. At
most companies you can expect a party and a costume contest, and while its fun to win a few
hundred dollars in massage credits, wouldn’t it be more fun to get promoted? Here are 13
Halloween costumes that will help take your career to the next level.

1. Sticky notes with big ideas

You have hundreds of incredible, game-changing ideas lying around, we all do. But somehow
you haven’t been able to get those ideas really noticed or heard. Well, here’s your opportunity.
Put your 20 best ideas on sticky notes, and then dress up like the sticky note man, covered in
sticky notes. Use the company Halloween party to get your colleagues to notice your ideas and
recognize your brilliance.

And now, guess who’s getting invited to the 2015 strategy meeting? (you maybe!)

2. Your manager’s nemesis

Everyone has a nemesis – someone they can’t stand for whatever reason. You boss is no
different. Maybe it’s a product manager, a software engineer, or Mark Cuban. Dress up like this
person in a realistic, but slightly mocking way. Your manager will appreciate the chuckle and
think of you as someone who really “gets it.”

3. Your Manager’s hero

Your manager also has a hero. Maybe it’s another leader, or a philanthropist or Mark Cuban.
Wear a costume that truly honors this person.

4. Your company’s flagship product

Does your branch of Subway serve a unique type of bread? Or perhaps your actuarial firm has
a risk management service that can’t be beat. Get creative and dress up like this product – and
show your colleagues how proud you are of this company.

5. A broken competitor’s product

If you work for Google, dress up like a bendable iPhone. If you work for Apple, dress up like a
Chromebook. If you work for Canada, dress up like Obamacare. If you work for Obama, dress
up like Rob Ford. The list goes on. Bring your colleagues together to collectively make fun of
your competitors and set yourself apart as a natural leader. This will get you noticed by the
higher ups.

6. The last big feature you launched

Nothing shows your pride or passion more than dressing up like that new button or dropdown
menu you just launched. Spice it up with the latest performance metrics and you’ll nail it.

7. A padded resume (yours)

Are your colleagues aware of all your credentials and recent accomplishments? Despite your
daily status updates, they may not be. The company Halloween party is your chance to make
them aware – with your Halloween costume. Print your updated resume out on a large sheet of
paper and wear it like a sandwich sign. You’re sure to be noticed.

8. Macgyver (male) or Sally Ride (female)

Going as Macgyver will let your colleagues know that you’ll do whatever it takes to fix
something, even if your company is 10 seconds from losing its funding.

And going as an astronaut will speak volumes to your intelligence, ability to be a pioneer, and
commitment to suffocating environments.
9. Your CEO’s favorite Power point slide
Every CEO has a favorite Power point slide. Maybe it’s the one with the inspirational quote
about changing the world, the chart that shows growing profits, or the one that shows the
correlation between that data point and this other data point. Figure out what that slide is and go
as that slide. This way your CEO will know you’ve been paying attention.

10. The missing (puzzle) piece

Every company is missing something. Let your company know that you are that something.

11. A live feed of Twitter references

Showing up as a live feed of Twitter references to your company will not only impress your boss
with your technical skills, it’ll also show how aware you are of the company’s place in the larger
world. Just make sure to filter out the negative tweets.

12. The last great business book you almost read

Sure, you didn’t make it all the way through The Power of Positive Thinking, The Checklist
Manifesto, or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Doesn’t matter. Print out the front and
back cover, paste them to your suit, and make yourself look like a serious business professional.

13. A hologram
Seriously if you show up as a working hologram everyone will be wondering why you’re not the
CEO.
 8 Ways to Recover from Being Inappropriate at Work

With illustrated examples

During the first week at my new tech job, I met so many white guys in sneakers and hoodies my
head was spinning. It was only a matter of time before I mixed them up. One morning I was
getting coffee and the inevitable happened.

“Good morning Todd!” I said to my new coworker.

“I’m Chad.” Oh no. Now I’d done it. I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.

“Haha, all you white guys look the same.”

They fired me that afternoon. Not really, but they could have.

Here’s the truth. The chances of you saying something racist, sexist or just plain stupid at work
are pretty high, especially when you are actually racist, sexist or just plain stupid.

Sure, sometimes you can blame it on the day drinking, but in the moment you’ll need a good way
to recover from being inappropriate at work. Here are 8 ways to do just that.

1. Agree that it was bad

Be truly astounded at yourself. Say something like, “Oh my God, that was absolutely horrible, I
can’t believe I just said that.” Hang your head in shame and shudder with grief. Cry.
Be so overwhelmed with pain and regret that your coworker can only have pity on you. End the
conversation by thanking your coworker profusely for teaching you kindness and tolerance, so
they’ll feel too guilty to go to HR.
2. Blame it on the media
You can always say you actually read or heard that inappropriate comment on the TV.

If your coworker is conservative, say you read in the goddamn liberal media. If he or she is
liberal, say you saw it on a worthless Fox News program. You may even go so far as to say that
you were actually relaying the joke ironically, in order to highlight the ignorance that exists in
our society (although that might be stretching it).

3. Look over there

Creating a distraction is a skill we should all have. Never take for granted your ability to spot
something interesting out of the corner of you eye and take attention away from your
thoughtlessness.

4. Over explain the joke

As soon as you explain a joke, it immediately becomes unfunny. Once the humor is lost, you
look more like a harmless bafoon than a malicious criminal.

But don’t stop there. Make sure to offer some reasoning for the comment that makes you seem
sympathetic. You can break the joke or comment into pieces, so that your coworker forgets what
the original comment was and finally loses interest altogether.

5. Fight for your innocence

Tell your coworkers to lighten up. Call one of them a Nazi. OK maybe don’t do that.

But do point out the fact that this is supposed to be a safe environment where you can be
yourself. Question how you’re supposed to be creative in a place that’s so suffocating. Tell your
coworkers that your joke isn’t the problem, the real problem is their oppressive fear of anything
that isn’t politically correct, and when they know full well that subversive thought always rises to
the forefront eventually.

Say that it’s attitudes like theirs that keep the entire company from differentiating itself in a
market saturated with formulaic crap. They’ll end up seeing what you said as some sort of
genius.

6. Say it was taken out of context

Context is key. That’s something you can say to sound smart and deflect attention from your
awful taste.

From there, you might not even need to explain yourself. Indeed, the less you say the better. But
if you do want to explain yourself, create a story around what you said that makes it sound
plausibly legitimate. This could be any historical fact that gives the comment some deep
perspective that your makes your coworkers feel so enlightened they forget they were offended.

7. Distract with company gossip

Distractions need not be physical. Ask if your coworker heard about the latest stock price, where
the next company offsite is going to be or if Jan and Bill have finally decided to go public with
their relationship.

Timing is key. Be sure to divert attention to another subject just after the horror washes over
their faces, but before they start to respond with how offended they are.

8. Act like you mean it

Repeat what you said and stand by it with confidence. Say, hey, it might be offensive, but you’re
not afraid to be offensive which is why you got promoted last quarter. Boom.