Floccinaucinihilipilification

Once all the deceased scientists were playing hide and seek in heaven. There were Ptolemy, Galileo,
Newton and Archimedes and so on. Unfortunately Einstein got the task of finding others. He was asked
to close his eyes and count up to hundred. All but Newton hide themselves in safe places. Newton gently
took a chalk and draw a square of edge one metre and stood in it. After opening the eyes Einstein found
Newton in front and declared him to be the first one out. But Newton was not ready to accept. He
explained “I am standing upon a square of area 1m2. Therefore I am no more Newton.
Newton/m2=Pascal. Hence it’s rather Pascal who is the 1st one out”.
Now you know unit of force or pressure are not written as Newton or Pascal, but newton or pascal
instead.

Mathematics is very closely related with Physics, Statistics, Economics and Engineering. Again it is called
the dearest daughter of Philosophy. Mathematics is often termed as the queen of science. Let’s see how
Mathematics is related with other branches of science.

An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an
approximation to his equations. A MATHEMATICIAN DOESN'T CARE.

Physics doesn’t accept anything until it is proved correct. Mathematics doesn’t reject anything until it is
proved wrong. Here is the example:
A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were strolling in the meadows of Scotland where the saw
a sheep across the path. Only one side of the sheep was visible and the colour was black.
Sheep of Scotland are black” commented the engineer.
“How can you say that? You haven’t seen the other sheep yet” the physicist rectified “at most you can
tell that there are some sheep in Scotland which are black”
“Not so early” obstructed the mathematician “We are yet to see the other side of it. And who knows
which colour is there? ALL WE KNOW IS THAT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE SHEEP IN SCOTLAND, AND THAT
AT LEAST ONE SIDE OF THAT ONE SHEEP IS BLACK!"

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of
the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and
pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself
to be on the outside."

A physicist and a chemist are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost somewhere in a
canyon. They yell out for help: "Hello! Where are we?"
After sometime they hear a voice: "You're in a hot-air balloon!!"
The physicist says, "That must have been a mathematician."
The chemist asks, "How do you know?"
The physicist replied: "The answer was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, and it was UTTERLY USELESS."
To mathematicians, solutions mean coming to the conclusion. But to chemists, solutions are things that
are still all mixed up.

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can .The physicist tried
to calculate force required to be applied and also the direction of the application of it. The chemist tried
different chemical reactions on it. But all were in vain. They couldn’t open or break the can. Tired and
frustrated, they were looking for the mathematician who was found to be relaxing on the beach.
“Why don’t you help us to solve the problem?” they cried.
“I have already solved it”
“Is it!” they exclaimed with joy, “What is that?”
“Simple!” the mathematician replied “let us assume that we have a can opener ..."

Some biologists were conducting an experiment on a cockroach. They cut one of its left legs and ordered
it “run!” The cockroach started running. Then they cut one of its right legs and again ordered “run!” The
cockroach did the same. Then they cut its second right leg and again ordered “run!” Again the cockroach
did the same. But when they cut its third right leg and ordered to run, it couldn’t. The experiment and
observations are in front of you. But what should be inference? The biologists concluded “IF FOUR LEGS
ARE CUT DOWN THE COCKROACH LOSES ITS ABILITY OF HEARING”

Several scientists were posed the following question: "What is pi ?"

The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "IT IS EQUAL TO PI".
(A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!")

More with pi! (Or pie, I rather say!)

A student was asked by the mathematics teacher “What is the area of a circle?”
The student replied“πR2”
When an English teacher heard this he scolded the student “you stupid fool! Why are you telling Pie are
square? Not only is your answer wrong, construction of the sentence is also wrong. The correct answer
will be - Pie is round”.

A man asked a mathematician "What is mathematics good for?" He replied: "When you show somebody
the Kanchenjunga during the sunrise for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?', what would
be your response?”
“Why, I would kick the guy off the cliff!"
“Me too!” replied the mathematician.

There is something wrong in the following calculation. Check it out

Half-filled bottle = Half empty bottle
1 1 1
 2 X full filled bottle = 2 X empty bottle (cancelling 2 from both sides)
 Full filled bottle = empty bottle

Lastly, answer the question:

What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 oranges?