Form V Half Yearly Examination

Section II –Success Essay

Marker’s Feedback

To what extent do the composers of your texts invite the

audience to question different definitions of success? In your
response, refer to your set text as well as ONE other related
text of your own choosing.

I quite enjoyed marking this section and found that, overall, many of you
have a pretty comprehensive understanding of the concept of Success and
how it can be applied to your core text and related text. The Great Gatsby
(film or novel) was a very popular choice of related text. I would advise
you to think outside the box with your related texts- you want to stand out,
not just be one of many discussing a popular choice.

Some context and subsequent advice…

I am an HSC marker for this section (AOS: Discovery- which you will begin
at the end of the year), so this advice is based on my experience in that
field.

 It’s important to note that the Area of Study IS a concept study and
therefore your approach should begin with a clear thesis on the
concept.
 Your topic sentences should be conceptual, rather than text based.
Your texts are the evidence of how this concept can be applied and
your RELATED text is just that, something to be related to your core
text.
 It’s always a good idea structurally to begin with your core text,
rather than related. Anything between a 50/50 and 60/40 split is
appropriate, but your CORE text discussion must be in the majority
where it’s not a balanced split.
 Yes, you do need to contextualise your related text: ONE sentence of
plot will do the trick. Otherwise you can easily fall into recount with
a success focus, but without any analysis.
 A synthesised response is often awarded. This means making links
back to the core text in your exploration of your related text.

Thesis statements
My written feedback on many papers commented on whether you had a
strong enough definition of success in your introduction. Many of you had
a basic, general thesis about differing ideas of success and then your topic
sentences directed your argument towards these. Best advice? Do both.
Have a strong thesis on the concept in the introduction AND use your
topic sentences to direct the paragraphs.

Answering the Question

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Most of you were able to offer differing definitions on success and thus
answer some of the question. The other part of the question became a
discriminator: how have composers invited their audience to question
these differing definitions. Stronger responses were able to weave this
into their discussion throughout the essay, while others tacked it on at the
end of paragraphs or ignored it altogether.

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Technical Analysis
At this point in time, it’s concerning that some of you still are not
including techniques in your paragraphs. These should be easy marks. For
each example, you need a technique! For those of you who have mastered
this, the progression is to look into more meaningful techniques and
ensure your analysis has depth.

Indicating Titles
In your introduction, please indicate titles correctly, as well as state the
name of the composer and the text type. For example,

Both Charles Dickens, in his 1860 novel Great Expectations and
Luhrmann in his 2013 film The Great Gatsby, invite their
audiences to question their respective society’s definitions of
success.

Here is an excerpt from the Form I Skills Booklet on Indicating

Titles:

We underline the titles of novels, other books, plays, films, anthologies (of
short stories or poems), paintings, soundtracks, T.V shows and newspaper
titles. For instance:

The Sword in the Stone; The Oxford English Dictionary; Star Wars; The
Mona Lisa, The Sydney Morning Herald, Seinfeld.

When we refer to a poem, a chapter in a book, a song on a soundtrack, a

newspaper article, a painting in a collection and an episode from a
series, we use “inverted commas”:

Coleridge wrote a poem called “Frost at Midnight.”

The most exciting chapter in Treasure Island is “Powder and Arms.”

EXPLANATION: There is a simple rule to follow if you’re not sure whether to

use underlining or inverted commas. If a work is a whole book, or other

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