Communication

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For other uses, see Communication (disambiguation).

Communication is the process of conveying information from a sender to a receiver with the use of a medium
in which the communicated information is understood the same way by both sender and receiver. It is a process
that allows organisms to exchange information by several methods. Communication requires that all parties
understand a common language that is exchanged, There are auditory means, such as speaking, singing and
sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage,
touch, eye contact, or the use of writing. Communication is defined as a process by which we assign and convey
meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in
intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and
evaluating. Use of these processes is developmental and transfers to all areas of life: home, school, community,
work, and beyond. It is through communication that collaboration and cooperation occur.[1] Communication is
the articulation of sending a message, through different media [2] whether it be verbal or nonverbal, so long as a
being transmits a thought provoking idea, gesture, action, etc.

Communication happens at many levels (even for one single action), in many different ways, and for most
beings, as well as certain machines. Several, if not all, fields of study dedicate a portion of attention to
communication, so when speaking about communication it is very important to be sure about what aspects of
communication one is speaking about. Definitions of communication range widely, some recognizing that
animals can communicate with each other as well as human beings, and some are more narrow, only including
human beings within the parameters of human symbolic interaction.

Nonetheless, communication is usually described along a few major dimensions: Content (what type of things
are communicated), source, emisor, sender or encoder (by whom), form (in which form), channel (through
which medium), destination, receiver, target or decoder (to whom), and the purpose or pragmatic aspect.
Between parties, communication includes acts that confer knowledge and experiences, give advice and
commands, and ask questions. These acts may take many forms, in one of the various manners of
communication. The form depends on the abilities of the group communicating. Together, communication
content and form make messages that are sent towards a destination. The target can be oneself, another person
or being, another entity (such as a corporation or group of beings).

Communication can be seen as processes of information transmission governed by three levels of semiotic
rules:

1. Syntactic (formal properties of signs and symbols),

2. pragmatic (concerned with the relations between signs/expressions and their users) and
3. semantic (study of relationships between signs and symbols and what they represent).

Therefore, communication is social interaction where at least two interacting agents share a common set of
signs and a common set of semiotic rules. This commonly held rule in some sense ignores autocommunication,
including intrapersonal communication via diaries or self-talk.

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In a simple model, information or content (e.g. a message in natural language) is sent in some form (as spoken
language) from an emisor/ sender/ encoder to a destination/ receiver/ decoder. In a slightly more complex form
a sender and a receiver are linked reciprocally. A particular instance of communication is called a speech act. In
the presence of "communication noise" on the transmission channel (air, in this case), reception and decoding of
content may be faulty, and thus the speech act may not achieve the desired effect. One problem with this
encode-transmit-receive-decode model is that the processes of encoding and decoding imply that the sender and
receiver each possess something that functions as a code book, and that these two code books are, at the very
least, similar if not identical. Although something like code books is implied by the model, they are nowhere
represented in the model, which creates many conceptual difficulties.

Theories of coregulation describe communication as a creative and dynamic continuous process, rather than a
discrete exchange of information.

[edit] Types of communication

There are 3 major parts in any communication which is body language, voice tonality and words. According to
the research (Mehrabian and Ferris,'Inference of Attitude from Nonverbal Communication in Two Channels' in
The Journal of Counselling Psycology Vol.31, 1967,pp.248-52), 55% of impact is determined by body
language-postures,gestures and eye contact, 38% by the tone of voice, 7% by the content or the words used in
the communication process. Although the exact % of influence may differ from variables such as the listener
and the speaker, but i certainly get people to be aware of the focus needed for a effective communication.
Communication is repetitive. Also, it is not what we say, but how we say that makes the difference.

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[edit] Language

Main article: Language

A language is a syntactically organized system of signals, such as voice sounds, intonations or pitch, gestures or
written symbols which communicate thoughts or feelings. If a language is about communicating with signals,
voice, sounds, gestures, or written symbols, can animal communications be considered as a language? Animals
do not have a written form of a language, but use a language to communicate with each another. In that sense,
an animal communication can be considered as a separated language.

Human spoken and written languages can be described as a system of symbols (sometimes known as lexemes)
and the grammars (rules) by which the symbols are manipulated. The word "language" is also used to refer to
common properties of languages. Language learning is normal in human childhood. Most human languages use
patterns of sound or gesture for symbols which enable communication with others around them. There are
thousands of human languages, and these seem to share certain properties, even though many shared properties
have exceptions.

There is no defined line between a language and a dialect, but the linguist Max Weinreich is credited as saying
that "a language is a dialect with an army and a navy". Constructed languages such as Esperanto, programming
languages, and various mathematical formalisms are not necessarily restricted to the properties shared by
human languages.

[edit] Dialogue

Main article: Dialogue

A dialogue is a reciprocal conversation between two or more entities. The etymological origins of the word (in
Greek διά(diá,through) + λόγος(logos, word,speech) concepts like flowing-through meaning) do not necessarily
convey the way in which people have come to use the word, with some confusion between the prefix διά-
(diá-,through) and the prefix δι- (di-, two) leading to the assumption that a dialogue is necessarily between only
two parties.

[edit] Nonverbal communication

Main article: Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is the process of communicating through sending and receiving wordless messages.
Such messages can be communicated through gesture, body language or posture; facial expression and eye
contact, object communication such as clothing, hairstyles or even architecture, or symbols and infographics.
Speech may also contain nonverbal elements known as paralanguage, including voice quality, emotion and
speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as rhythm, intonation and stress. Likewise, written texts have
nonverbal elements such as handwriting style, spatial arrangement of words, or the use of emoticons.A
portmanteau of the English words emotion (or emote) and icon, an emoticon is a symbol or combination of
symbols used to convey emotional content in written or message form.

[edit] Non-human living organisms

Communication in many of its facets is not limited to humans, or even to primates. Every information exchange
between living organisms — i.e. transmission of signals involving a living sender and receiver — can be
considered a form of communication. Thus, there is the broad field of animal communication, which

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encompasses most of the issues in ethology. On a more basic level, there is cell signaling, cellular
communication, and chemical communication between primitive organisms like bacteria, and within the plant
and fungal kingdoms. All of these communication processes are sign-mediated interactions with a great variety
of distinct coordinations.

[edit] Animals

Animal communication is any behaviour on the part of one animal that has an effect on the current or future
behavior of another animal. Of course, human communication can be subsumed as a highly developed form of
animal communication. The study of animal communication, called zoosemiotics' (distinguishable from
anthroposemiotics, the study of human communication) has played an important part in the development of
ethology, sociobiology, and the study of animal cognition. This is quite evident as humans are able to
communicate with animals especially dolphins and other animals used in circuses however these animals have
to learn a special means of communication. Animal communication, and indeed the understanding of the animal
world in general, is a rapidly growing field, and even in the 21st century so far, many prior understandings
related to diverse fields such as personal symbolic name use, animal emotions, animal culture and learning, and
even sexual conduct, long thought to be well understood, have been revolutionized.

[edit] Plants and fungi

Among plants, communication is observed within the plant organism, i.e. within plant cells and between plant
cells, between plants of the same or related species, and between plants and non-plant organisms, especially in
the rootzone. Plant roots communicate in parallel with rhizobia bacteria, with fungi and with insects in the soil.
This parallel sign-mediated interactions which are governed by syntactic, pragmatic and semantic rules are
possible because of the decentralized "nervous system" of plants. As recent research shows 99% of
intraorganismic plant communication processes are neuronal-like. Plants also communicate via volatiles in the
case of herbivory attack behavior to warn neighboring plants. In parallel they produce other volatiles which
attract parasites which attack these herbivores. In Stress situations plants can overwrite the genetic code they
inherited from their parents and revert to that of their grand- or great-grandparents.[3]

Fungi communicate to coordinate and organize their own growth and development such as the formation of
mycelia and fruiting bodies. Additionally fungi communicate with same and related species as well as with
nonfungal organisms in a great variety of symbiotic interactions, especially with bacteria, unicellular
eukaryotes, plants and insects. The used semiochemicals are of biotic origin and they trigger the fungal
organism to react in a specific manner, in difference while to even the same chemical molecules are not being a
part of biotic messages doesn’t trigger to react the fungal organism. It means, fungal organisms are competent
to identify the difference of the same molecules being part of biotic messages or lack of these features. So far
five different primary signalling molecules are known that serve to coordinate very different behavioral patterns
such as filamentation, mating, growth, pathogenicity. Behavioral coordination and the production of such
substances can only be achieved through interpretation processes: self or non-self, abiotic indicator, biotic
message from similar, related, or non-related species, or even “noise”, i.e., similar molecules without biotic
content

Communication theory
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This article does not cite any references or sources.
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed.
(January 2008)

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There is much discussion in the academic world of communication as to what actually constitutes
communication. Currently, many definitions of communication are used in order to conceptualize the processes
by which people navigate and assign meaning. Communication is also understood as the exchanging of
understanding.

We might say that communication consists of transmitting information from one person to another. In fact,
many scholars of communication take this as a working definition, and use Lasswell's maxim, "who says what
to whom in what channel with what effect," as a means of circumscribing the field of communication theory.

A simple communication model with a sender transferring a message containing information to a receiver.

Other commentators suggest that a ritual process of communication exists, one not artificially divorceable from
a particular historical and social context.

Communication stands so deeply rooted in human behaviors and the structures of society that scholars have
difficulty thinking of it while excluding social or behavioral events. Because communication theory remains a
relatively young field of inquiry and integrates itself with other disciplines such as philosophy, psychology, and
sociology, one probably cannot yet expect a consensus conceptualization of communication across disciplines.

Currently, there is no paradigm from which communication scholars may work. One of the issues facing
scholars is the possibility that establishing a communication metatheory will negate their research and stifle the
broad body of knowledge in which communication functions.

Contents
[hide]

• 1 History of Communication Theory

• 2 Communication Theory Framework
• 3 Mapping the theoretical landscape
o 3.1 Contexts
o 3.2 Assumptions
• 4 Some realms of communication and their theories
• 5 More information
• 6 See also

• 7 Bibliography

[edit] History of Communication Theory

Communication as a named and unified discipline has a history of contestation that goes back to the Socratic
dialogues, in many ways making it the first and most contestatory of all early sciences and philosophies.
Aristotle first addressed the problem of communication and attempted to work out a theory of it in The
Rhetoric. He was primarily focused on the art of persuasion. A monologue (speak to self) is also a method of
communication even if the person involved does not have any audition but himself. Humanistic and rhetorical
viewpoints and theories dominated the discipline prior to the twentieth century, when more scientific
methodologies and insights from psychology, sociology, linguistics and advertising began to influence
communication thought and practice.

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Seeking to define "communication" as a static word or unified discipline may not be as important as
understanding communication as a family of resemblances with a plurality of definitions as Ludwig
Wittgenstein had put forth.

[edit] Communication Theory Framework

It is helpful to examine communication and communication theory through one of the following viewpoints:

• Mechanistic: This view considers communication to be a perfect transaction of a message from the
sender to the receiver. (as seen in the diagram above)
• Psychological: This view considers communication as the act of sending a message to a receiver, and the
feelings and thoughts of the receiver upon interpreting the message.
• Social Constructionist (Symbolic Interactionist): This view considers communication to be the product
of the interactants sharing and creating meaning.
• Systemic: This view considers communication to be the new messages created via “through-put”, or
what happens as the message is being interpreted and re-interpreted as it travels through people.

Inspection of a particular theory on this level will provide a framework on the nature of communication as seen
within the confines of that theory.

Theories can also be studied and organized according to the ontological, epistemological, and axiological
framework imposed by the theorist.

Ontology essentially poses the question of what, exactly, it is the theorist is examining. One must consider the
very nature of reality. The answer usually falls in one of three realms depending on whether the theorist sees the
phenomena through the lens of a realist, nominalist, or social constructionist. Realist perspective views the
world objectively, believing that there is a world outside of our own experience and cognitions. Nominalists see
the world subjectively, claiming that everything outside of one’s cognitions is simply names and labels. Social
constructionists straddle the fence between objective and subjective reality, claiming that reality is what we
create together.

Epistemology is an examination of how the theorist studies the chosen phenomena. In studying epistemology,
objective knowledge is said to be the result of a systematic look at the causal relationships of phenomena. This
knowledge is usually attained through use of the scientific method. Scholars often think that empirical evidence
collected in an objective manner is most likely to reflect truth in the findings. Theories of this ilk are usually
created to predict a phenomenon. Subjective theory holds that understanding is based on situated knowledge,
typically found using interpretative methodology such as ethnography and interviews. Subjective theories are
typically developed to explain or understand phenomena in the social world.

Axiology is concerned with what values drive a theorist to develop a theory. Theorists must be mindful of
potential biases so that they will not influence or skew their findings (Miller, 21-23).

[edit] Mapping the theoretical landscape

A discipline gets defined in large part by its theoretical structure. Communication studies often borrow theories
from other social sciences. This theoretical variation makes it difficult to come to terms with the field as a
whole. That said, some common taxonomies exist that serve to divide up the range of communication research.
Two common mappings involve contexts and assumptions.

[edit] Contexts

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Many authors and researchers divide communication by what they sometimes called "contexts" or "levels",
but which more often represent institutional histories. The study of communication in the US, while occurring
within departments of psychology, sociology, linguistics, and anthropology (among others), generally
developed from schools of rhetoric and from schools of journalism. While many of these have become
"departments of communication", they often retain their historical roots, adhering largely to theories from
speech communication in the former case, and from mass media in the latter. The great divide between speech
communication and mass communication becomes complicated by a number of smaller sub-areas of
communication research, including intercultural and international communication, small group communication,
communication technology, policy and legal studies of communication, telecommunication, and work done
under a variety of other labels. Some of these departments take a largely social-scientific perspective, others
tend more heavily toward the humanities, and still others gear themselves more toward production and
professional preparation.

These "levels" of communication provide some way of grouping communication theories, but inevitably, some
theories and concepts leak from one area to another, or fail to find a home at all.

[edit] Assumptions

Another way of dividing up the communication field emphasizes the assumptions that undergird particular
theories, models, and approaches. While this approach also tends to have as its basis institutional divisions,
theories within each of the seven "traditions" of communication theory that Robert Craig suggests tend to
reinforce one another, and retain the same ground epistemological and axiological assumptions. His traditions
include:

• rhetorical - practical art of discourse

• semiotic – intersubjective mediation through signs in order to mediate between different perspectives
• phenomenological - experience of otherness, dialogue
• cybernetic - information processing and explains how all kinds of complex systems, whether living or
nonliving, macro or micro, are able to function, and why they often malfunction
• sociopsychological - expression, interaction and influence
• critical - discursive reflection
• sociocultural - reproduction of social order (Miller, 13)

Craig finds each of these clearly defined against the others, and remaining cohesive approaches to describing
communicative behavior. As a taxonomic aid, these labels help to organize theory by its assumptions, and help
researchers to understand why some theories may seem incommensurable.

While communication theorists very commonly use these two approaches, theorists decentralize the place of
language and machines as communicative technologies. The idea (as argued by Vygotsky) of communication as
the primary tool of a species defined by its tools remains on the outskirts of communication theory. It finds
some representation in the Toronto School of communication theory (alternatively sometimes called medium
theory) as represented by the work of Innis, McLuhan, and others. It seems that the ways in which individuals
and groups use the technologies of communication — and in some cases are used by them — remain central to
what communication researchers do. The ideas that surround this, and in particular the place of persuasion,
remain constants across both the "traditions" and "levels" of communication theory.

[edit] Some realms of communication and their theories

• message production: Constructivist Theory, Action Assembly Theory
• message processing: Elaboration Likelihood Theory, Inoculation Theory
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 • discourse and interaction: Speech Acts Theory, Coordinated Management of Meaning
• developing relationships: Uncertainty Reduction Theory, Social Penetration Theory
• ongoing relationships: Relational Systems Theory, Relational Dialectics
• organizational: Structuration Theory, Unobtrusive and Concertive Control Theory
• small group: Functional Theory, Symbolic Convergence Theory
• media processing and effects: Social Cognitive Theory, Uses and Gratifications Theory
• media and society: agenda setting, spiral of silence
• culture: Speech Codes Theory, Face-saving Theory (Miller, v-viii)
• Symbolic Convergence Theory
• making social worlds: Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM)[1]

Types of Communication
When two applications are trying to exchange information with each other, this is a form of communication. When two components
of an application are working together, calling methods and passing data between them, this is another form of communication.
There are basically two methods of communication. These methods are defined by what the initiator of the conversation does once it
stops sending. These two methods are synchronous and asynchronous communication.

Synchronous

In a synchronous communication, when the initiator of the conversation stops sending their information to the receiver, it goes into a
waiting mode. It will remain in that waiting mode until it receives a response back from the receiver with the information that the
receiver is sending. Only once it receives this information will the initiator continue on with its processing.

Synchronous communication is like making a function call. When you make a function call in an application, you package up the
information that you are sending to the receiver and call the function. Then you wait. Your program will not continue to execute until
the function returns the results of the function call to you.

Asynchronous

In an asynchronous communication, the sender in the conversation will send its information and then go on its merry way. It will not
wait for any response from the receiver in the conversation. In many cases, there is no response that is ever sent back to the
sender. If there is a response that is sent back, then the original sender can decide for itself when and even if to process the
response.

Asynchronous communication is similar to event handling in Visual Basic. In Visual Basic, you can cause something to happen that
will fire an event. But while you are waiting for that event to fire, you are free to go off and do whatever other processing that you
want to do. When that event is fired, you can choose to handle the event using an event handling routine, or just ignore the event
and continue processing.

Why use Asynchronous?

There are three primary reasons that you would want to use asynchronous communication over synchronous communication in your
applications. If your sender always has to wait for a response then the system will spend a lot of time waiting for something else to
happen, rather than on running the application. Asynchronous communications will make the system seem faster to the user, since it
can devote the majority of its time to processing rather than waiting.

There may be instances where the sender really doesn't care when the receiver will deal with the message. It's like delegating a task
to someone. An efficient manager will not wait for that task to complete before going on to other tasks. This is being asynchronous.
If a manager has to wait for the task to complete before doing anything else, first of all they are not an efficient delegator, and
second, they are performing synchronously.

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If your application is running in an environment where the connection between the two applications is not reliable, or if one of the
applications is running on a disconnected computer, like a laptop, then asynchronous communications can be a real benefit. Also, if
one of the applications only ran during off-hours, then without asynchronous communications, the sender would have to wait until
the next day to complete its processing.

© 1998 by Wrox Press. All rights reserved.

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Introduction
People in organizations typically spend over 75% of their time in an interpersonal situation; thus it is no surprise
to find that at the root of a large number of organizational problems is poor communications. Effective
communication is an essential component of organizational success whether it is at the interpersonal,
intergroup, intragroup, organizational, or external levels.

In this chapter we will cover the basic process of communication and then we will cover some of the most
difficult communication issues managers face-providing constructive and effective feedback and performance
appraisal.

The Communication Process

Although all of us have been communicating with others since our infancy, the process of transmitting
information from an individual (or group) to another is a very complex process with many sources of potential
error.

Consider the simple example:

• Terry: "I won't make it to work again tomorrow; this pregnancy keeps me nausious and my doctor says I
should probably be reduced to part time.
• Boss: Terry, this is the third day you've missed and your appointments keep backing up; we have to
cover for you and this is messing all of us up.

decode encoded by receiver

Message to be sent message received
some error likely some error likely)

In any communication at least some of the "meaning" lost in simple transmission of a message from the sender
to the receiver. In many situations a lot of the true message is lost and the message that is heard is often far
different than the one intended. This is most obvious in cross-cultural situations where language is an issue. But
it is also common among people of the same cuture.

Look at the example. Terry has what appears to be a simple message to convey-she won't make it to work today
because of nausia. But she had to translate the thoughts into words and this is the first potential source of error.
Was she just trying to convey that she would be late; was she trying to convey anything else. It turns out she
was. She was upset because she perceived that her co-workers weren't as sympathetic to her situation as they
should be. Her co-workers, however, were really being pressured by Terry's continued absences, and her late
calls. They wished she would just take a leave of absence, but Terry refuses because she would have to take it
without pay.
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Thus what appears to be a simple communication is, in reality, quite complex. Terry is communicating far more
than that she would miss work; she is conveying a number of complex emotions, complicated by her own
complex feelings about pregnancy, work, and her future.

She sent a message but the message is more than the words; it includes the tone, the timing of the call, and the
way she expressed herself.

Similarly, the boss goes through a complex communication process in "hearing" the message. The message that
Terry sent had to be decoded and given meaning. There are many ways to decode the simple message that Terry
gave and the way the message is heard will influence the response to Terry.

In this case the boss heard far more than a simple message that Terry won't be at work today. The boss "heard"
hostility from Terry, indifference, lack of consideration, among other emotions. Terry may not have meant this,
but this is what the boss heard.

Communications is so difficult because at each step in the process there major potential for error. By the time a
message gets from a sender to a receiver there are four basic places where transmission errors can take place
and at each place, there are a multitude of potential sources of error. Thus it is no surprise that social
psychologists estimate that there is usually a 40-60% loss of meaning in the transmission of messages from
sender to receiver.

It is critical to understand this process, understand and be aware of the potential sources of errors and constantly
counteract these tendencies by making a conscientious effort to make sure there is a minimal loss of meaning in
your conversation.

It is also very important to understand that a majoring of communication is non-verbal. This means that when
we attribute meaning to what someone else is saying, the verbal part of the message actually means less than the
non-verbal part. The non-verbal part includes such things as body language and tone.

Barriers to Effective Communication

There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that can enter into the communication process. This
can occur when people now each other very well and should understand the sources of error. In a work setting,
it is even more common since interactions involve people who not only don't have years of experience with
each other, but communication is complicated by the complex and often conflictual relationships that exist at
work. In a work setting, the following suggests a number of sources of noise:

• Language: The choice of words or language in which a sender encodes a message will influence the
quality of communication. Because language is a symbolic representation of a phenomenon, room for
interpreation and distortion of the meaning exists. In the above example, the Boss uses language (this is
the third day you've missed) that is likely to convey far more than objective information. To Terry it
conveys indifference to her medical problems. Note that the same words will be interpreted different by
each different person. Meaning has to be given to words and many factors affect how an individual will
attribute meaning to particular words. It is important to note that no two people will attribute the exact
same meaning to the same words.
• defensiveness, distorted perceptions, guilt, project, transference, distortions from the past
• misreading of body language, tone and other non-verbal forms of communication (see section below)
• noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)
• receiver distortion: selective hearing, ignoring non-verbal cues
• power struggles
• self-fulfilling assupmtions

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 • language-different levels of meaning
• managers hesitation to be candid
• assumptions-eg. assuming others see situation same as you, has same feelings as you
• distrusted source, erroneous translation, value judgment, state of mind of two people
• Perceptual Biases: People attend to stimuli in the environment in very different ways. We each have
shortcuts that we use to organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce some biases into
communication. Some of these shortcuts include stereotyping, projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Stereotyping is one of the most common. This is when we assume that the other person has certain
characteristics based on the group to which they belong without validating that they in fact have these
characteristics.
• Interpersonal Relationships: How we perceive communication is affected by the past experience with
the individual. Percpetion is also affected by the organizational relationship two people have. For
example, communication from a superior may be perceived differently than that from a subordinate or
peer
• Cultural Differences: Effective communication requires deciphering the basic values, motives,
aspirations, and assumptions that operate across geographical lines. Given some dramatic differences
across cultures in approaches to such areas as time, space, and privacy, the opportunities for mis-
communication while we are in cross-cultural situations are plentiful.

You work in a Japanese company in the US. You have noticed that the Japanese staff explains only the
conclusion to Americans when they address a problem, rather than discussin the steps to the conclusion. Also ,

the Japanese staff sends reports directly to Japan without showing them to you. Go to the Top

Reading Nonverbal Communication Cues

A large percentage (studies suggest over 90%) of the meaning we derive from communication, we derive from
the non-verbal cues that the other person gives. Often a person says one thing but communicates something
totaly different through vocal intonation and body language. These mixed signals force the receiver to choose
between the verbal and nonverbal parts of the message. Most often, the receiver chooses the nonverbal aspects.
Mixed messages create tension and distrust because the receiver senses that the communicator is hiding
something or is being less than candid.

Nonverbal communication is made up of the following parts:

1. Visual
2. Tactile
3. Vocal
4. Use of time, space, and image

Visual:
This often called body language and includes facial expression, eye movement, posture, and gestures.
The face is the biggest part of this. All of us "read" people's faces for ways to interpret what they say and
feel. This fact becomes very apparent when we deal with someone with dark sunglasses. Of course we
can easily misread these cues especially when communicating across cultures where gestures can mean
something very different in another culture. For example, in American culture agreement might be
indicated by the head going up and down whereas in India, a side-to-side head movement might mean
the same thing.
We also look to posture to provide cues about the communicator; posture can indicate self-confidence,
aggressiveness, fear, guilt, or anxiety. Similarly, we look at gestures such as how we hold our hands, or
a handshake. Many gestures are culture bound and susceptible to misinterpreation
Tactile:
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 This involves the use of touch to impart meaning as in a handshake, a pat on the back, an arm around the
shoulder, a kiss, or a hug.
Vocal:
The meaning of words can be altered significatnly by changing the intonation of one's voice. Think of
how many ways you can say "no"-you could express mild doubt, terror, amazement, anger among other
emotions. Vocal meanings vary across cultures. Intonation in one culture can mean support; another
anger
Use of Time as Nonverbal Communication:
Use of time can communicate how we view our own status and power in relation to others. Think about
how a subordinate and his/her boss would view arriving at a place for an agreed upon meeting..
Physical Space:
For most of us, someone standing very close to us makes us uncomfortable. We feel our "space" has
been invaded. People seek to extend their territory in many ways to attain power and intimacy. We tend
to mark our territory either with permanent walls, or in a classroom with our coat, pen, paper, etc. We
like to protect and control our territory. For Americans, the "intimate zone" is about two feet; this can
vary from culture to culture. This zone is reserved for our closest friends. The "personal zone" from
about 2-4 feet usually is reserved for family and friends. The social zone (4-12 feet) is where most
business transactions take place. The "public zone" (over 12 feet) is used for lectures.

At the risk of stereotyping, we will generalize and state that Americans and Northern Europeans typify the
noncontact group with small amounts of touching and relativley large spaces between them during transactions.
Arabs and Latins normally stand closer together and do a lot of touching during communication.

Similarly, we use "things" to communicate. This can involve expensive things, neat or messy things,
photographs, plants, etc. Image: We use clothing and other dimensions of physical appearance to communicate
our values and expectations Nonverbal Communication:

The use of gestures, movements, material things, time, and space can clarify or confuse the meaning of
verbal communication. In the above example, factors such as Terry's tone, the time of Terry's call, will
probably play a greater role in how the message is interpreted than the actual words themselves.
Similarly, the tone of the boss will probably have a greater impact on how his message is interpreted
than the actual words.

A "majority" of the meaning we attribute to words comes not from the words themselves, but from
nonverbal factors such as gestures, facial expressions, tone, body language, etc. Nonverbal cues can play
five roles:

1. Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally
2. Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey
3. Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can
often convery a far more vivid message than words and often do
4. Complementing: they may add to or complement a vebal message. A boss who pats a
person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message
5. Accenting: non-verbal communication may accept or underline a verbal message.
Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message.

Skillful communicators understand the importance of nonverbal communication and use it to increase
their effectiveness, as well as use it to understand mroe clearly what someone else is really saying.

A word of warning. Nonverbal cues can differ dramatically from culture to culture. An American hand
gesture meaning "A-OK" would be viewed as obscene in some South American countries. Be careful.

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 Go to the Top

Developing Communication Skills: Listening Skills

There are a number of situations when you need to solicit good information from others; these situations
include interviewing candidates, solving work problems, seeking to help an employee on work
performance, and finding out reasons for performance discrepancies.

Skill in communication involves a number of specific strengths. The first we will discuss involves
listening skills. The following lists some suggests for effective listening when confronted with a
problem at work:

• Listen openly and with empathy to the other person

• Judge the content, not the messenger or delivery; comprehend before you judge
• Use multiple techniques to fully comprehend (ask, repeat, rephrase, etc.)
• Active body state; fight distractions
• Ask the other person for as much detail as he/she can provide; paraphrase what the other
is saying to make sure you understand it and check for understanding
• Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the problem and the employee's
concern
• Attend to non-verbal cues, body language, not just words; listen between the lines
• Ask the other for his views or suggestions
• State your position openly; be specific, not global
• Communicate your feelings but don't act them out (eg. tell a person that his behavior
really upsets you; don't get angry)
• Be descriptive, not evaluative-describe objectively, your reactions, consequences
• Be validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge other;'s
uniqueness, importance
• Be conjunctive, not disjunctive (not "I want to discuss this regardless of what you want to
discuss");
• Don't totally control conversation; acknowledge what was said
• Own up: use "I", not "They"... not "I've heard you are noncooperative"
• Don't react to emotional words, but interpret their purpose
• Practice supportive listening, not one way listening
• Decide on specific follow-up actions and specific follow up dates

A major source of problem in communication is defensiveness. Effective communicators are aware that
defensiveness is a typical response in a work situation especially when negative information or criticism
is involved. Be aware that defensiveness is common, particularly with subordinates when you are
dealing with a problem. Try to make adjustments to compensate for the likely defensiveness. Realize
that when people feel threatened they will try to protect themselves; this is natural. This defensiveness
can take the form of aggression, anger, competitiveness, avoidance among other responses. A skillful
listener is aware of the potential for defensiveness and makes needed adjustment. He or she is aware that
self-protection is necessary and avoids making the other person spend energy defending the self.

In addition, a supportive and effective listener does the following:

• Stop Talking: Asks the other person for as much detail as he/she can provide; asks for
other's views and suggestions

13
 • Looks at the person, listens openly and with empathy to the employee; is clear about his
position; be patient
• Listen and Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the problem and the
other's concern
• is validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand"); acknowledge other;'s
uniqueness, importance
• checks for understanding; paraphrases; asks questions for clarification
• don't control conversation; acknowledges what was said; let's the other finish before
responding
• Focuses on the problem, not the person; is descriptive and specific, not evaluative;
focuses on content, not delivery or emotion
• Attend to emotional as well as cognitive messages (e.g., anger); aware of non-verbal
cues, body language, etc.; listen between the lines
• React to the message, not the person, delivery or emotion
• Make sure you comprehend before you judge; ask questions
• Use many techniques to fully comprehend
• Stay in an active body state to aid listening
• Fight distractions
• ( if in a work situation) Take Notes; Decide on specific follow-up actions and specific
follow up dates

Go to the Top

Constructive Feedback: Developing your Skills

"I don't know how to turn her performance around; she never used to have these attendance problems
and her work used to be so good; I don't know why this is happening and what to do."

This manager is struggling with one of the most important yet trickiest and most difficult management
tasks: providing contructive and useful feedback to others. Effective feedback is absolutely essential to
organizational effectiveness; people must know where they are and where to go next in terms of
expectations and goals-yours, their own, and the organization.

Feedback taps basic human needs-to improve, to compete, to be accurate; people want to be competent.
Feedback can be reinforcing; if given properly, feedback is almost always appreciated and motivates
people to improve. But for many people, daily work is like bowling with a curtain placed between them
and the pins; they receive little information.

Be aware of the many reasons why people are hesitant to give feedback; they include fear of causing
embarassment, discomfort, fear of an emotional reaction, and inability to handle the reaction.

It is crucial that we realize how critical feedback can be and overcome our difficulties; it is very
important and can be very rewarding but it requires skill, understanding, courage, and respect for
yourself and others.

Withholding constructive feedback is like sending people out on a dangerous hike without a compass.
This is especially true in today's fast changing and demanding workplace

Why managers are often reluctant to provide feedback

14
As important as feedback is, this critical managerial task remains one of the most problematic. Many
managers would rather have root canal work than provide feedback to another-especially feedback that
might be viewed as critical. Why are managers so reluctant to provide feedback? The Reasons are many:

• fear of the other person's reaction; people can get very defensive and emotional when
confronted with feedback and many managers are very fearful of the reaction
• the feedback may be based on subjective feeling and the manager may be unable to give
concrete information if the other person questions the basis for the feedback
• the information on which the feedback is based (eg. performance appraisal) may be a
very flawed process and the manager may not totally trust the information
• many managers would prefer being a coach than "playing God."

Other factors get in the way of effective communication or feedback sessions. Some of these reasons
are:

• defensiveness, distorted perceptions, guilt, project, transference, distortions from the past
• misreading of body language, tone
• noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)
• receiver distortion: selective hearing, ignoring non-verbal cues
• power struggles
• self-fulfilling assupmtions
• language-different levels of meaning
• managers hesitation to be candid
• assumptions-eg. assuming others see situation same as you, has same feelings as you
• distrusted source, erroneous translation, value judgment, state of mind of two people

Go to the Top

Go to the Top

Characteristics of Effective Feedback

Effective Feedback has most of the following characteristics:

• descriptive (not evaluative)(avoids defensiveness.) By describing one's own reactions, it

leaves the individual fee to use it or not to use it as he sees fit..
• avoid accusations; present data if necessary
• describe your own reactions or feelings; describe objective consequences that have or
will occur; focus on behavior and your own reaction, not on other individual or his or her
attributes
• suggest more acceptable alternative; be prepared to discuss additional alternatives; focus
on alternatives
• specific rather than general.
• focused on behavior not the person. It is important that we refer to what a person does
rather than to what we think he is. Thus we might say that a person "talked more than anyone
else in this meeting" rather than that he is a "loud-mouth."
• It takes into account the needs of both the receiver and giver of feedback. It should be
given to help, not to hurt. We too often give feedback because it makes us feel better or gives us
a psychological advantage.
• It is directed toward behavior which the receiver can do something about. A person gets
frustrated when reminded of some shortcoming over which he has no control.
15
 • It is solicited rather than imposed. Feedback is most useful when the receiver himself has
formulated the kind of question which those observing him can answer or when he actively seeks
feedback.
• Feedback is useful when well-timed (soon after the behavior-depending, of course, on the
person's readiness to hear it, support available from others, and so forth). Excellent feedback
presented at an inappropriate time may do more harm than good.
• sharing of information, rather than giving advice allows a person to decide for himself, in
accordance with his own goals and needs. When we give advice we tell him what to do, and to
some degree take away his freedom to do decide for himself.
• It involves the amount of information the receiver can use rather than the amount we
would like to give. To overload a person with feedback is to reduce the possibility that he may be
able to use what he receives effectively. When we give more than can be used, we are more often
than not satisfying some need of our own rather than helping the other person.
• It concerns what is said and done, or how, not why. The "why" involves assumptions
regarding motive or intent and this tends to alienate the person generate resentment, suspicion,
and distrust. If we are uncertain of his motives or intent, this uncertainty itself is feedback,
however, and should be revealed.
• It is checked to insure clear communication. One way of doing this is to have the receiver
try to rephrase the feedback. No matter what the intent, feedback is often threatening and thus
subject to considerable distortion or misinterpretation.
• It is checked to determine degree of agreement from others. Such "consensual validation"
is of value to both the sender and receiver.
• It is followed by attention to the consequences of the feedback. The supervisor needs to
become acutely aware of the effects of his feedback.
• It is an important step toward authenticity. Constructive feedback opens the way to a
relationship which is built on trust, honest, and genuine concern and mutual growth.

Part of the feedback process involves understanding and predicting how the other person will react. Or
in the case of our receiving feedback, we need to understand ways that we respond to feedback,
especially threatening feedback.

People often react negatively to threatening feedback. This reaction can take a number of forms
including:

• selective reception and selective perception

• doubting motive of the giver
• denying validity of the data
• rationalizing
• attack the giver of the data

Following the guidelines to effective feedback can go a long way to limit these kinds of reactions but we
need to be conscious of them nonetheless and be ready to react appropriately.

When we are on the receiving end of feedback we should be careful to avoid these pitfalls. Try to keep
these points in mind.

• try not to be defensive

• check on possible misunderstanding ("Let me restate what I am hearing")
• gather information from other sources
• don't overreact
• ask for clarification

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 Go to the Top

A Short Example of Effective Communication

Example:

Maria: My project coordinator, Judy, is in a slump; she's just not producing her usual caliber of work. I
need to find out what the problem is.

On the surface, it would seem that getting good information is easy. But like other forms of
communication, it takes planning and experience to develop skills in this area

Key Techniques

Focus the discussion on the information needed Judy, I've noticed in the past month that you've fallen
behind on keeping the project schedule current. I'd like to figure out with you what we both can do to
get it back on track.

Use open-ended questions to expand the discussion You've always kept the schedule up to the minute-
until about a month ago. Why the change?

Use closed ended questions to prompt for specifics "What projects are you working on that take time
away from your work on this project (warning: closed ended questions are often disguised as open
ended as in "Are you going to have trouble finishing this project?)

Encourage dialogue through eye contact and expression This involves nodding in agreeemnt,
smiling, leaning toward the speaker, making statements that acknowledge the speaker is being heard.

State your understanding of what you are hearing This can be done by restating briefly what the
other person is saying but don't make fun of it

"So it sounds like these phone calls have ended up taking a lot more time than you or Jay expected; you
think the three of us should talk about priorities; is this your position?"

Summarize the key points; try to get some agreement on the next steps and show appreciation for the
effort made so far. "So let's call Jay right now and set up a time when we can meet and iron this out;
keeping the schedule updated is a high priority and I'd like to get this settled by Wednesday.

Go to the Top

A Planning Form for Constructive Feedback

Instructions: Before the feedback session, answer these questions:

• what is your purpose in giving the feedback

• what specific actions do you want to reinforce or correct? what are the consequences of
the action?
• what do you want to accomplish in this discussion
• what specific information do you need to learn; what questions do you need answered
17
 • what issues of timing, location, advance preparation, or other logistics do you need to
consider to get the most out of the discussion

Observe the basic principles of communication

• use open ended and close ended questions appropriately

• use eye contact, encouraging gestures
• focus on the situation, issue, behavior, not the person
• maintain the self-confidence and self-esteem of others
• maintain constructive relationships with your employees, peers, managers
• use active listening techniques such as stating your understanding of what you are
hearing
• make sure you summarize
• lead by example

What pitfalls do you need to watch out for and how will these be overcome:from your experience, what
potential pitfalls will you need to overcome in order ot achieve success in giving constructive feedback?
How will you overcome these pitfalls

Evaluating the Feedback Session

1. State the constructive purpose of your feedback
2. describe specifically what you have observed
3. describe your reactions
4. give the other person an opportunity to respond
5. offer specific suggestions
6. summarize and express your support

How well did the manager:

• focus on the situation,

• issue or behavior, not on the person
• maintain the self-confidence
• and self-esteem of the other
• maintain constructive relationships
• with your employees, peers, and managers
• take initiative to make things better
• lead by example

Go to the Top

Three Kinds of Interviews

Tell and Sell: Tell and Listen Problem Solving

• fits when judgment of • fits same conditions as left • supervisor no longer

superior acceptable to • objective is to communicate judge, but helper; not
subordinate, when sub. has accurately; give chance to diagnosiing and
18
 supplying remedies
ability to change and
• sup. must be willing to
desired objectives are
accept ideas for job
obtainable
improvement
• most effective for new
• must concentrate on
employees
respond situation, not individual
• objectives-communicate
• there will be defensiveness; • goal is to develop
employee's evaluation as
listening skills critical; active employee
accurately as possible;
listening needed; defensive • skills needed- skillful
gain employee acceptance
behavior is reduced; if boss is questioning; skillful
of evaluation;
effective motivator, can communicator
• most important skill is
induce feelings of acceptance • employee will think
persuasion
• can be joint problem solving; constructively if he
• can expect some defensive
• supervisor may change perceives opportunity to
reaction
influence process
• can be difficult if
• risk that subordinate may be • subordinate will likely
inappropriate behavior is
satisfied but with no plan to feel some increased job
attractive to subordinate
improve job satisfaction; but superior
• often ineffective approach
may sacrifice some
control
• this method encourages
behavior focused toward
• failure if subordinate
pleasing supervisor rather
doesn't respond to this
than best thinking
method

Online edition of India's National Newspaper

Wednesday, Nov 07, 2007

Effective communication builds credibility

A consultant was conducting a study at a Fortune 500 company that had just been bought in a hostile takeover. Conversing
with workers at the company, he found that the workers were talking about coffee at length.

The company had provided free coffee to workers all along, and then after the takeover, it suddenly started costing them
some 50 cents. Although the company was doing quite well, the management had neglected to share information with the
employees, an d in the absence of any other information, the workers began to view the coffee as a symbol of the company’s
volatility. Rumours began to circulate that the company was on the docks, and a big lay off was on the cards. A number of
people quit to join other companies and those who stayed behind viewed the new management with mistrust and
resentment.

This is just an example of how poor communication can turn a difficult situation into a crisis A purely practical administrative
measure was perceived as an ominous hint of things to come simply because the management had failed to assuage
understandable fears and doubts of the workers when it mattered the most. The organisation could have avoided a lot of
confusion, anxiety and uncertainty if more attention was paid to the message they were sending to the workers at a time of
turbulence and change.

When leaders fail to communicate clearly and openly, the void is filled by information from other sources. But the question is,
do you want your people to be listening to the leadership or do you want them reacting to hearsay and conjecture?

As successful leaders know, nothing moves in the right direction without effective communication. Here are suggestions on
how communication can be leveraged as a tool to assist organisational change.

Get Proactive

19
During times of change, employees naturally expect sensible planning, confident and efficient decision-making, and most of
all regular, complete and timely communication. Rather than clamping the lid on the flow of information, managers need to
open up and harness the power of communication to win the trust of employees. They also need to increase their
involvement and pave the way for a smooth transition.

It can be in the form of a 10-minute staff meeting, an email addressed to the employees, or an update on the company
website and bulletin boards. It could also be a spontaneous discussion, debate or a one to one interaction.

As long as the leadership is clear in its communication and proactive about discussing issues with employees; it has a good
chance of keeping rumours and misinformation at bay.

When the management practises a policy of open communication consistently, people will, over a period of time, learn to
brush aside water cooler gossip and place their trust in the leadership.Use repetition and multiple channels to get your
message across

People sometimes need to hear the same message at least 4-5 times before they start taking it seriously. A range of written
and oral formats including e-mails, memos, individual meetings and group meetings can be effectively used to deliver news
to your employees. Repetition helps the information get across.

The use of a variety of communication channels ensures that people with different learning styles assimilate the message.

Make it a two way process

When a change is announced through a memo or at a staff meeting, this mono-directional communication gives little
opportunity for the receivers. In this case, it is your staff that can assimilate the information and get involved. Effective
communication is a two way process, so always ensure that employees have the means to get back with ideas, doubts,
clarifications or feedback.

Be honest

All of us need a measure of honesty in our relationships, irrespective of whether they are about kindergarten friendships or
international politics. Leaders must adhere to higher standards of integrity to win the trust of their employees.

A leader must speak accurately and truthfully, and not consciously lie or mislead by remaining silent. It is important to give
an honest answer to questions, even if it means saying ‘I don’t know, but I will try to find out.’

Go low-tech.

While email provides instant connectivity, it is also distance creating. It can hinder communication because it lacks direct
interaction. And when it is used for communicating important, life-altering decisions, it sends the message that the
organisation does not care enough for its employees. It is better to gravitate towards the more personal means of
communication, such as face-to-face meetings for communicating sensitive information during tough times.

Efficient communication is indispensable for any organisation that faces uncertainty and change. Yet, few organisations have
the communication strategies needed to counter the demands of change.

Using the right tools to communicate the right message at the right time can salvage a crisis and motivate people to work
towards success. Truly said, communication works best for those who work at it.

Importance of Communication in an Organization

Communication is one of the basic functions of management in any organization and its importance can hardly
be overemphasized. It is a process of transmitting information, ideas, thoughts, opinions and plans between
various parts of an organization.

You cannot have human relations without communication. However, good and effective communication is
required not only for good human relations but also for good and successful business.

20
You can use softwares like business writing software for writing effective business communication, which is
required at various levels and for various aspects in an organization such as -

Importance of communication for manager and employee relations:

Effective communication of information and decision is an essential component for management-employee

relations. The manager cannot get the work done from employees unless they are communicated effectively of
what he wants to be done? He should also be sure of some basic facts such as how to communicate and what
results can be expected from that communication. Most of management problems arise because of lack of
effective communication. Chances of misunderstanding and misrepresentation can be minimized with proper
communication system.

For motivation and employee morale:

Communication is also a basic tool for motivation, which can improve morale of the employees in an
organization. Inappropriate or faulty communication among employees or between manager and his
subordinates is the major cause of conflict and low morale at work. Manager should clarify to employees about
what is to be done, how well are they doing and what can be done for better performance to improve their
motivation. He can prepare a written statement, clearly outlining the relationship between company objectives
and personal objectives and integrating the interest of the two.

For increase productivity:

With effective communication, you can maintain a good human relation in the organization and by encouraging
ideas or suggestions from employees or workers and implementing them whenever possible, you can also
increase production at low cost.

For employees:

It is through the communication that employees submit their work reports, comments, grievances and
suggestions to their seniors or management. Organization should have effective and speedy communication
policy and procedures to avoid delays, misunderstandings, confusion or distortions of facts and to establish
harmony among all the concerned people and departments.

Importance of written communication:

Communication may be made through oral or written. In oral communication, listeners can make out what
speakers is trying to say, but in written communication, text matter in the message is a reflection of your
thinking. So, written communication or message should be clear, purposeful and concise with correct words, to
avoid any misinterpretation of your message. Written communications provides a permanent record for future
use and it also gives an opportunity to employees to put up their comments or suggestions in writing.

Use of business writing software for effective business communication:

So, effective communication is very important for successful working of an organization. Writing software like
business writing software with grammar checker and text enrichment tool can be used for writing effective
business communications. For more information on business writing software, please visit
www.WritingEditingSoftware.com/business.html

For details on writing software for writing business letters, emails, memo, presentations etc, please visit
Business writing software and for details on softwares to enrich your English writing or creative writing,
English writing software website.
21
 Seven Barriers to
Great Communication
It's not always easy and often takes a lot of determination. But making an effort to remove the
obstacles - tangible and intangible - that stand in our way, can be the key to building
relationships that really work

Writing a report or business email?

Feeling short on words?
Revolutionary software takes your
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View demo now and see how it works!

Many people think that communicating is easy.

It is after all something we've done all our lives.

There is some truth in this simplistic view.

Communicating is straightforward.

What makes it complex, difficult, and frustrating are the barriers we put in the way.

Here are the 7 top barriers.

1. Physical barriers

Physical barriers in the workplace include:

• marked out territories, empires and fiefdoms into which strangers are not allowed
• closed office doors, barrier screens, separate areas for people of different status
• large working areas or working in one unit that is physically separate from others.

Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is
proximity. As long as people still have a personal space that they can call their own,
nearness to others aids communication because it helps us get to know one another.

2. Perceptual barriers

The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If
we didn't, we would have no need to communicate: something like extrasensory
perception would take its place.

22
The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions and perceptions
shape our own realities:

A traveller was walking down a road when he met a man from the next town. "Excuse
me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the
townspeople are like?"

"Well," said the townsman, "how did you find the people in the last town you visited?"

"Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-charged
me for what I got. Gave me very poor service."

"Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find them pretty much the same here."

3. Emotional barriers

One of the chief barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is
comprised mainly of fear, mistrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of
others lie in our childhood and infancy when we were taught to be careful what we said
to others.

"Mind your P's and Q's"; "Don't speak until you're spoken to"; "Children should be seen
and not heard". As a result many people hold back from communicating their thoughts
and feelings to others.

They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive
fear of what others might think of us can stunt our development as effective
communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.

4. Cultural barriers

When we join a group and wish to remain in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the
behaviour patterns of the group. These are the behaviours that the group accept as
signs of belonging.

The group rewards such behaviour through acts of recognition, approval and inclusion.
In groups which are happy to accept you, and where you are happy to conform, there is
a mutuality of interest and a high level of win-win contact.

Where, however, there are barriers to your membership of a group, a high level of
game-playing replaces good communication.

5. Language barriers

Language that describes what we want to say in our terms may present barriers to
others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzz-words and jargon. When we
couch our communication in such language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global
market place the greatest compliment we can pay another person is to talk in their
language.

23
One of the more chilling memories of the Cold War was the threat by the Soviet leader
Nikita Khruschev saying to the Americans at the United Nations: "We will bury you!" This
was taken to mean a threat of nuclear annihilation.

However, a more accurate reading of Khruschev's words would have been: "We will
overtake you!" meaning economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear
and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the more alarmist and
sinister interpretation.

6. Gender barriers

There are distinct differences between the speech patterns in a man and those in a
woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day whereas a man
speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In childhood, girls speak earlier than boys and at the
age of three, have a vocabulary twice that of boys.

The reason for this lies in the wiring of a man's and woman's brains. When a man talks,
his speech is located in the left side of the brain but in no specific area. When a woman
talks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific locations.

This means that a man talks in a linear, logical and compartmentalised way, features of
left-brain thinking; whereas a woman talks more freely mixing logic and emotion,
features of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for much longer
than men each day.

7 Interpersonal barriers

There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from one another:

1. Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both refusal to be in

touch and time alone.
2. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact.
3. Pastimes fill up time with others in social but superficial activities.
4. Working activities are those tasks which follow the rules and procedures of
contact but no more.
5. Games are subtle, manipulative interactions which are about winning and losing.
They include "rackets" and "stamps".
6. Closeness is the aim of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of
honesty and acceptance of yourself and others.

Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to

change your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections.

That way, you can break down the barriers that get in your way and start building
relationships that really work.

24