15 Powerful Beliefs that Will Free You from

Negativity
WRITTEN BY MARC CHERNOFF // 69 COMMENTS

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big
difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is
positive or negative.
―W. Clement Stone
When I was a teenager I was the primary target of an extremely persistent bully at my
high school. One day I came home in tears and wrote this on the whiteboard hanging
on my bedroom wall: “I hate bullies. They make me feel like a loser.”

The next day, while I was at school, my grandmother erased what I wrote on the
whiteboard and replaced it with this: “An entire body of water the size of the Pacific
Ocean can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, all the negativity in the
world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside your head.”

And from that day forward I felt better. I made a conscious decision to stop letting the
bully get inside my head. I changed my beliefs about his level of importance in my life.

It isn’t easy to remain positive when negativity surrounds you, but remember that you
have full control over what you choose to believe. You can effectively defend yourself
against all kinds of negativity by adopting simple, yet powerful, beliefs that support a
positive outlook in the face of seemingly negative circumstances.

Below you will find 15 such beliefs that have helped free me from the grips of
negativity. I have these beliefs written down in my journal, and I review them on a
regular basis, as needed, just to keep them fresh in my mind. I hope you will join me by
adopting them into your own belief system as well…

1. What other people say about me is their problem, not mine. – Don’t take other
people’s negativity personally. Most negative people behave negatively not just to
you, but to everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of
their own reality. Even when a situation seems personal – even if someone insults
you directly – it oftentimes has nothing to do with you. What others say and do, and
the opinions they have, are based entirely on their own self-reflection.
2. I am free to be ME. – Can you remember who you were before the world told you
who you should be? Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to
everyone else and what they want. Stop living for other people and their
opinions. Be true to yourself. You are the only person in charge of your life. The
only question is: What do you want to do with the rest of it?
3. Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is great. – Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect
life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement. To get up every morning and
take and good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is
extraordinary. Every day is a gift. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any
way is to be amazed in every way. (Read The Happiness Project.)
4. It’s okay to have down days. – Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is
wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing
down. However, when you recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of
the exact same ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of
these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s downs.
5. Even when I’m struggling, I have so much to be grateful for. – What if you
awoke today with only the things you were thankful for yesterday? We tend to
forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have,
but of appreciating everything we do have. Stress thrives when your worry list is
 longer than your gratitude list. Happiness thrives when your gratitude list is longer
than your worry list. So find something to be thankful for right now.
6. Every experience is just another important lesson. – Disappointments and
failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to success. So don’t let a hard lesson
harden your heart. When things go wrong, learn what you can and then push the
tragedies and mistakes aside. Remember, life’s best lessons are often learned at
the worst times and from the worst mistakes. We must fail in order to know, and
hurt in order to grow. Good things often fall apart so better things can fall together
in their place.
7. Not everything is meant to stay. – Change can be terrifying, yet all positive
growth and healing requires change. Sometimes you have to find the good in
goodbye. Because the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. Be
strong when everything seems to be going wrong, keep taking small steps, and
eventually you will find what you’re looking for. Learn to trust the journey, even
when you do not understand it.
8. Being wrong is the first step to being right. – Sometimes the wrong choices
bring us to the right places. To be creative and productive in life, you must first lose
your fear of being wrong. And remember, a fear like this can only survive inside
you if you let it live there.
9. I do not need to hold on to what’s holding me back. – You are not what has
happened to you; you are what you choose to become. It’s time to break the beliefs
and routines that have been holding you back. Respect yourself enough to walk
away from anything that no longer grows you. Listen to your intuition, not your
ego. When you stop chasing the wrong beliefs, you give the right ideas a chance to
catch you. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000
Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
10. My happiness today is simply the result of my thinking. – Happiness starts with
you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but WITH
YOU. It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always
impossible to find it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude
is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative
 attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behavior, actions,
and opportunities. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would try
your best to never think another negative thought again.
11. Who I spend quality time with matters. – Surround yourself with people who lift
you higher – those who see the great potential in you, even when you don’t see it in
yourself.
12. Drama and judgments are a waste of perfect happiness. – Make a promise to
yourself. Promise to stop the drama before it begins, to breathe deeply and
peacefully, and to love others and yourself without conditions. Promise to laugh at
your own mistakes, and to realize that no one is perfect; we are all
human. Feelings of self-worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual
differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and
rules are flexible. (Read The Mastery of Love.)
13. Most people are judging me far less than it seems. – The truth is, while you’re
busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you
think of them. Crazy? Yes, but true. The good news is this knowledge instantly
frees you to let loose and do more of what YOU want. And while doing so, you’ll
also liberate others to do the same.
14. I can make the world a happier place. – Do your best to help one person every
day in some small way. By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often
find the answers to our own. When the people around us are happier, it’s a lot
easier to smile.
15. The work is worth it. – Lose the expectation that everything in life should be
easy. It rarely is. In fact, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Enjoy
the challenge of your achievements. See the value in your efforts and be patient
with yourself. And realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a
good attitude while working hard on your dreams. It’s knowing deep down that the
work is well worth it in the end.