Tommi & Novalia

THE WEDDING

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THE WEDDING
“And of His signs is this, that He created
mates for you from yourselves that you might
find quiet of mind in them, and He put
between you Love and Compassion. Surely
there are signs in this for a people who
reflect.”
The Holy Qurán, 30:21

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Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a social institution as old as the human race itself. It may be
defined as a relation between a man and a woman which is recognized by
custom or law and involves certain rights and duties, both in the case of the
parties entering the Union, and in case of the children born of it. Marriage has
thus two main functions to perform: it is the means adopted by human society
for regulating relations between the sexes; and it furnishes the mechanism by
means of which the relations of a child to the community is determined.

Qurán states clearly the encourage verses for muslim to get married, “And
marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among
your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor,
Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-
Encompassing and Knowing. (An Nuur (24) : 32).

And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan
girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just,
then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses.

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That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]
Qs. An Nisaa’ (4) : 3).
The rites and ceremonies of marriage have been different with different
peoples and in different ages, but these two functions mentioned above are
common even where in marriage. It always implies the right of sexual
intercourse as allowed and recognized by society and the duties of the parents

in bringing up children. “And do not approach unlawful sexual

intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a
way.” (Al-Isra (17) : 32)
Islam recognises this institution and accepts it as the basis of human
society after purging it of all those evils which had penetrated it. Firstly, Islam
does not regard it as a union only for the gratification of sexual lost, but a social
contract with wide and varied responsibilities and duties. The reason behind it
is that, according to the Divine Faith, a woman is not a plaything in the hand of
man. but a spiritual and moral being who is entrusted to him on the sacred
pledge to which Allah is made a witness. The wife is, therefore, not meant. to
provide sensuous pleasure only to the male, but to fully co-operate with him in
making the life of the family and ultimately of the whole humanity significantly
meaningful.

The Holy Qur'an has in so many verses pointed out the different

purposes of marriage. As one state at the beginning of this book, states: "And

of His signs is this, that He created mates for you from

yourselves that you might find quiet of mind in them, and
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He put between you love and compassion. Surely there are
signs in this for a people who reflect” (Ar Ruum (30) : 21).
In this verse it has been said that the female is not inferior to the male in the
sense that the former is created out of a superior stuff while the latter comes of

a base origin. “And of all things We created two mates; perhaps

you will remember.” (Adz Dzariyaat (51) : 49).

Both man and woman are the progeny of Adam and thus both have the
same soul. The purpose of marriage, according to the Holy Qur'an, is therefore,
the union of the two souls which are one in essence. Their separate existence is
an unnatural state of their being which changes Into the natural state when they
are united by marriage and thus are brought close to each other physically,

mentally and emotionally. “Exalted is He who created all pairs -

from what the earth grows and from themselves and from
that which they do not know¨ ( Yaa Siin (36) : 36).

“And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and
has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren
and has provided for you from the good things. Then in
falsehood do they believe and in the favor of Allah they
disbelieve?”(Qs. An Nahl (16) : 72).

“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one

soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both
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of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through
whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah
is ever, over you, an Observer.” (Qs. An Nisaa (4) : 1).

“The believing men and believing women are allies of one

another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong
and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His
Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them.
Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise (Qs. At
Taubah”(9) : 71).

Both man and woman are the joint heirs of the grace of life, and unless
there is a very close and intimate form of companionship in them, they cannot

enjoy the true grace of life. "It is He - Allah -Who created you from

a single being, and out of it He made its mate, that he may

find comfort in her. And when he covers her, she bears a
light burden and goes about with it. Then, when she grows
heavy, they pray to their Lord: 'If You bestow upon us a
healthy child, we will surely give thanks.' (Al –A’raaf : 189)
“Comfort" implies much more than a mere sexual gratification. It is not too
much to say that the whole conception of the marriage relation in Islam is

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charged with spiritual and moral ideas, and must of necessity elevate the status
of matrimonial alliance in the individual and social life.

In Islam the union of the sexes has been purified and the joy of the
married relation secured by the absolute prohibition of every kind of extra-
matzimonial connection. The Holy Qur'an stresses upon the people to marry
as it is the most effective means whereby one can lead a virtuous life free from

immorality and emotional inhibition. The Holy Qur'an says: "They (your
wives) are as a garment to you, and you are as a garment to
them" (Al-Baqarah: 187).The mutual relation of husband and wife is
here described in words which could not be surpassed in beauty. Here in is the
correct description of the relationship between the two. The husband and the
wife are for mutual support, mutual comfort and mutual protection, fitting into
each other as garments fit into each other.

Then the Holy Qur'an also makes it clear that this union is not a
temporary relationship between two individuals of opposite sexes: It is a
permanent and enduring relationship in the sense that both the parties should
put in their earnest endeavours to lead their lives in perfect harmony and
acquitting themselves creditably of the responsibilities saddled upon them by
entering into this sacred contract.

The Holy Qur'an farther points out that sexual gratification in the
married life is not meant only for the satisfaction of the physical lust, but it must

be directed to some higher ends. “Your women are tilth for you, so

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go into your tilth as ye like, and provide beforehand for your
souls, and fear Allah and know that you are going to meet
Him" (Al Baqarah : 223). Here the wives are likened to the cultivable
land which are ploughed for sowing and reaping the produce (in the form of
offspring) and not merely for carnal indulgence. The concluding part of the
verse refers to still higher and sublimer ends which tell that even in the height
of carnal pleasures the moral and spiritual responsibilities should not in any way
be lost sight of ; rather one should be more conscious to them when one is
enjoying physical pleasures as these are the moments when the fear of the Lord
and the accountability in the Hereafter is likely to be blurred or effaced from
one's mind.

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Kumpulan Hadis tentang menikah

Peminangan adalah salah satu bentuk menganggungkan Allah. Kita
mengagungkan Allah dengan berusaha menghalalkan karunia kecintaan kepada
lawan jenis melalui ikatan yang di dalam Al- Qurán disebut juga dengan
Mistaqan Ghalizha (perjanjian yang sangat berat). Hanya 3 kali Al-Qurán
menyebutkan Mitsaqan Ghalizha, dan hanya untuk 3 perjanjian Allah menyebut
mitsaqan Ghalizha. Dua perjanjian berkenaan dengan tauhid, yaitu perjanjian
Allah dengan bani Israil yang untuk itu Allah mengangkat bukit Thursina ketika
mengambil sumpah, dengan yang lain adalah perjanjian Allah dengan para nabi
ulul-azmi, Nabi yang paling utama diantara para nabi. Dan pernikahan termasuk
perjanjian yang oleh Allah digolongkan sebagai perjanjian yang berat, karena
Allah menjadi saksi ketika seorang melakukan akad nikah.

Anjuran-anjuran Rasulullah untuk Menikah antara lain:

“Nikah itu sunnahku, barangsiapa yang tidak suka, bukan

golonganku !”(HR. Ibnu Majah, dari Aisyah r.a.)
“Empat macam diantara sunnah-sunnah para Rasul yaitu : berkasih
sayang, memakai wewangian, bersiwak dan menikah” (HR.
Tirmidzi).
“Nikahilah olehmu kaum wanita itu, maka sesungguhnya mereka
akan mendatangkan harta (rezeki) bagi kamu¨ (HR. Hakim dan
Abu Dawud)

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“Kawinkanlah orang-orang yang masih sendirian diantaramu.
Sesungguhnya, Allah akan memperbaiki akhlak, meluaskan rezeki,
dan menambah keluhuran mereka.”

“Wahai generasi muda ! Bila diantaramu sudah mampu menikah

hendaklah ia nikah, karena mata akan lebih terjaga, kemaluan akan
lebih terpelihara.” (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim dari Ibnu Mas’ud).
“Kawinlah dengan wanita yang mencintaimu dan yang mampu
beranak. Sesungguhnya aku akan membanggakan kamu sebagai
umat yang terbanyak” (HR. Abu Dawud).
“Saling menikahlah kamu, saling membuat keturunanlah kamu, dan
perbanyaklah (keturunan). Sesungguhnya aku bangga dengan
banyaknya jumlahmu di tengah umat yang lain” (HR. Abdurrazak
dan Baihaqi).
“Wahai para pemuda, siapa saja diantara kalian yang telah mampu
untuk kawin, maka hendaklah dia menikah. Karena dengan
menikah itu lebih dapat menundukkan pandangan dan lebih
menjaga kemaluan. Dan barang siapa yang belum mampu, maka
hendaklah dia berpuasa, karena sesungguhnya puasa itu bisa
menjadi perisai baginya” (HR. Bukhori-Muslim)
“Jika datang (melamar) kepadamu orang yang engkau senangi agama
dan akhlaknya, maka nikahkanlah ia (dengan putrimu). Jika kamu

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tidak menerima (lamaran)-nya niscaya terjadi malapetaka di bumi
dan kerusakan yang luas” (H.R. At-Turmidzi)
Dari Anas, Rasulullah SAW. pernah bersabda : “Barang siapa mau
bertemu dengan Allah dalam keadaan bersih lagi suci, maka
kawinkanlah dengan perempuan terhormat.” (HR. Ibnu Majah,
dhaif).

Setiap jalan menuju pernikahan atau Mitsaqan Ghalizha dimuliakan

oleh Allah, Islam memberikan penghormatan yang suci kepada ikhtiar untuk
menikah, karena menikah sendiri dinyatakan sebagai suatu hal yang dapat
menyempurnakan separuh agama. Bagaimana tidak, Rasullulah bersabda,
“Shalat 2 rakaat yang diamalkan orang yang sudah berkeluarga lebih
baik, daripada 70 rakaat yang diamalkan oleh jejaka (atau perawan)”
(HR. Ibnu Ady dalam kitab Al Kamil dari Abu Hurairah). Maka
bagaimana seorang yang masih membujang dapat mengejar derajat orang-orang
yang sudah menikah kalau shalat malam yang disertai puasa di siang harinya saja
tak bias disejajarkan dngan derajat shalat dua rakaat mereka yang telah
didampingi istri. Maka, apakah yang bias mengangkat seorang bujangan kepada
kemuliaan di akhirat? “Orang yang paling buruk diantara kalian ialah

yang melajang (membujang) dan seburuk-buruk mayat (diantara)

kalian ialah yang melajang (membujang)” (HR. Imam Ahmad)

Saat menikah, banyak hal yang sebelumnya merupakan dosa kini telah
bernilai ibadah, Rasulullah bersabda, “Barangsiapa menggembirakan hati
seorang wanita (istri), sakan-akan menangis karena takut kepada

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Allah maka Allah mengharamkan tubuhnya dari neraka.” Hanya
menggembirakan hati seorang istri, maka seseorang akan diharamkan tubuhnya
dari api neraka. Masha Allah.

“Sesungguhnya ketika seorang suami memperhatikan istrinya

dan istrinya memperhatikan suaminya, maka Allah memperhatikan
mereka dengan penuh rahmat. Manakala suaminya merengkuh
telapak tangannya (diremas-remas), maka berguguranlah dosa-dosa
suami-istri itu dari sela jari-jemarinya. Apalagi bila suami istri melakukan
jima’(hubungan suami istri), pahala yang didapatkan bias mencapai tingkat
pahala mati terbunuh dalam perang di jalan Allah. “Sesungguhnya seorang
suami yang mencampuri istrinya (jima’) itu dicatat memperoleh
pahala seperti pahala anak lelaki yang berperang di jalan Allah lalu
terbunuh.”

Maka menikahlah, dan bergabunglah dalam barisan para jihadist yang

berhak ditolong oleh Allah sebagaimana hadist berikut, “Tiga golongan yang

berhak ditolong oleh Allah : a. Orang yang berjihad / berperang di

jalan Allah. b. Budak yang menebus dirinya dari tuannya. c. Pemuda
/ i yang menikah karena mau menjauhkan dirinya dari yang haram.”
(HR. Tirmidzi, Ibnu Hibban dan Hakim)

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Wedding Calendar
Checklist
Use the boxes to the left of the items to check off tasks as you
complete them.
P.S : I start to made this journal at the beginning of March in
which means I have approximately 6 months prior to wedding
day.. can’t wait to fill in all this check list! ^ ^

April
5 MONTHS PRIOR TO WEDDING DAY:
☐ Arrange a gathering for you and your parents.

☐ Determine budget and how expenses will be shared.

 Discuss the size, style, location, and scope of the wedding you want.
 Choose a target wedding date and time. (The actual date will depend on
venue availability.)
 Create a binder to store and organize ideas, worksheets, receipts,
brochures, etc.
 Visit and reserve wedding and reception sites.
☐ Start compiling your guest list to estimate head count. Consider budget
when thinking about “must-invites” versus “nice-to-invites.”

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☐ Survey a wedding vendor includes :
o Wedding Caterer
o Wedding Decoration and Florist
o Wedding invitation card
o Wedding gown for bride and suit for groom
o Wedding souvenirs
o Make up
o Photographer and Videographer
o Band
Save the contacts for all wedding vendors you surveyed, compare the
vendors each by each, decides together which one you will hire
determined by price, things they preserve, the service and
performance.

March progress note :

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May
4 MONTHS PRIOR:
 Book the venue by 20 % down payment
☐ Get the guest list fixed
 Estimate the budget for “mahar”
 List what will be as the wedding gift (seserahan) and estimate the budget
 Shop for wedding material (Reception)
 Goes to tailor (Norma Butik)
 Shop for Bridesmaid dresses
 Shop for Family dresses

☐ Start making the DIY project card which consist of:

o Bridesmaid card
o Save-the-date mini calendar
o Share photos card
o Guest book
o Bride’s kimono
o Goodie bag
April progress note :
-
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June
3 MONTHS PRIOR:
☐ Get fixed for the following rest vendors
o Wedding Caterer =. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
(write down the chosen vendor)
o Wedding Decoration and Florist
=. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
o Wedding gown for bride and suit for groom
 Akad =. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
 Reception =
o Make up artist =. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
o Photographer and Videographer
=. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
o Band =. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
☐ Obtain a marriage license.
☐ Meet the caterer to deal with the menus, food test.
☐ Make a concept for the Pre Wedding shoot, theme, costume, and hunt
the location
☐ Schedule a Pre-Wedding photoshoot
☐ Have the Pre-Wedding photoshoot

☐ Shop for the list on Seserahan

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June progress note :
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Augst
1 MONTH PRIOR:
By Augst , the preparation progress presentation should reach above 80%.

☐ Wedding ring must be ready

☐ Fitting for the wedding outfit

 Get the fix for the following wedding vendors (especially for the invitation
card and souvenirs so they can start making)
o Wedding Caterer = Safa Catering
o Wedding invitation card = Rofi Graphic (Sukabumi)
o Wedding souvenirs = Pusat DVD Jakarta
☐ Make Save-the-date card

☐ Spread Save-the-date card

☐ Final payment for all the vendors

Augst progress note :

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September
3 WEEKS PRIOR:

☐ Start spread the invitations. (shipping, mail)

☐ Find a place to wrap Seserahan. And it should be ready by the end of the
week
☐ Final fitting for Wedding outfit

☐ Confirm details with all the vendors

2 WEEKS PRIOR:
☐ Compile a list of all of the wedding vendors and wedding party, with
contact information. Carry this list with you everywhere you go (just in
case)

1 WEEK PRIOR:
 Enclose any fees due on the wedding
day in envelopes for easy distribution.
☐ Appoint someone to act as an
“organizer” to handle any last-minute
problems.
☐ Review final details for those in the
wedding party.
☐ Get final documentation for “siraman”

☐ Get final beauty treatments (manicure,

facial, massage, waxing, brow shaping,
etc.)

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DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING:

 “Siraman”
 Enjoy a relaxing day with family
and friends.
☐ Try to get some rest

WEDDING DAY:
☐ Pray. Pray. Pray and pray

☐ Relax and remain calm.

☐ Remember to eat something.

☐ Allow at least two hours for getting dressed.

☐ ENJOY THIS ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT!

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Wedding Vendor List
Caterer
No Caterer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

Catering For Wedding

No Caterer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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Decoration & Florist

No Decorator Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile/Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

No Decorator Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile/Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

No Decorator Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

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Wedding Dresses
No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Designer Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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Makeup artist
No Makeup artist
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/bbm/line
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website/ instagram

No Makeup artist
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/bbm/line
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website/ instagram

No Makeup artist
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/bbm/line
3. Email

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4. Address
5. Website/ instagram

No Makeup artist
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/bbm/line
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website/ instagram

No Makeup artist
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/bbm/line
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website/ instagram

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Wedding Invitation
No Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile/Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

No Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile/Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

No Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile/Bbm
3. Email
4. Address
5. Instagram

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Wedding Souvenirs
No Workshop Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Workshop Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Workshop Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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Wedding Photo & Videographer

No Photographer
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Photographer
Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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Wedding Band
No Band Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

No Band Detail
1. Contact Name
2. Phone/Mobile
3. Email
4. Address
5. Website

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Wedding Budget
Estimasi Anual
No Decription Vendor
Cost
1. Venue Anton Sujarwo
2. Tempat Akad Mesjid Agung
Wedding
3. Awanis WO
Orgnaizer
4. KUA
Vanezza Fany
5. Makeup
Gown Pengantin,
Ibu Bapak, Pager
6.
Ayu Bagus,
Among Tamu
Sherrly
7. Decoration

8. PassionPhotoworks
9. Catering Safa Catering
10.
Bakso
Ice Cream
Jajanan
Takoyaki
Creps
Martabak
8. Undangan Rofi Graphic
9. Souvenier Pusat Dvd Jakarta
10. MC/ Upacara Adat A Hilman
11. Pemandu Siraman
12. Hiburan Bu desti
PerdanaTex
13. Bahan Kebaya
EllieSab
Jait Norma Butik

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Wedding Venue
Chosen venue : Gedung Anton Sudjarwo
Jln. Bhayangkara

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Wedding Catering
Engagment
Chosen caterer : Mrs. Mutia
Menu :

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Wedding Catering
Wedding
Chosen caterer : Safa Catering
Menu :

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Wedding Decoration & Florist
Chosen vendor : Sherly Griya Pengantin
Theme : International Wedding (Minimalist)
Color Scheme : Grey, Silver, Black,

Wedding Invitation Card

Chosen vendor : Tommi Siswono (Design)
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THE WEDDING
Rofi Grpahic (Printing)
Theme : Simple, Casual.
Type : Art paper + Hard cover for CD + Hologram
Color Scheme : Grey, White,
Final Design

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THE WEDDING

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Bridesmaid card
Chosen vendor : Novalia Rachmah (Design)
Rofi Graphic (Printing)
Color Sceme : Peach + White

Caduy

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THE WEDDING
Bridesmaid card
Chosen vendor : Novalia Rachmah (Design)
Rofi Graphic (Printing)
Color Sceme : Purple + White

Prikitiw

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THE WEDDING

Wedding Souvenirs
Chosen vendor : Tommi Siswono (Design)
Pusat DVD Jakarta (Burning)

Type : CD music
Color Sceme : Grey, Silver, Black + Envelope

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THE WEDDING

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Wedding

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Weekly Schedule
March

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10 11 12

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

27 28 29 30 31

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April

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16

17 18 19 20 21 22 23

24 25 26 27 28 29 30

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May

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

8 9 10 11 12 13 14

15 16 17 18 19 20 21

22 23 24 25 26 27 28

29 30 31

31

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Juni

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2 3 4

5 6 7 8 9 10 11

12 13 14 15 16 17 18

19 20 21 22 23 24 25

26 27 28 29 30

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July

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11 12 13 14 15 16

17 18 19 20 21 22 23

24 25 26 27 28 29 30

31

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Agust

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14 15 16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25 26 27

28 29 30 31

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Weekly Schedule
September

M SN SL RB KM JM ST

1 2 3

4 5 6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13 14 15 16 17

18 19 20 21 22 23 24

29

25 26 27 28 30

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THE WEDDING

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