NOURISHMENT: Learning to say “I forgive you”

ASPECT: Marriage

Anchor Verse:
“Bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven
you, so must you also do.“ Colossians 3:13

Topic:
“I, (State your name), take you (the name of your spouse), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold,
from this day forward, for better, for worse …”

Each marrying couple so lovingly expresses this vow to one another, with a smile on their lips and fast-beating hearts for
being so much in love, Yet, the sincerity of this vow is tested by realities and challenges that come with married life. No
couple is exempted from conflicts and frustrations.

It would be good to remember that each of us are called to love and forgive just as our Father in Heaven loves and forgives
us. Through the example of Jesus, we realize that there are no conditions to being loved and forgiven. As in our marriage
vows, we declare, ‘for better, or for worse,” this is easier than done.

Forgiveness does not mean that we disregard the wrong that our spouse had done. There are variety of offenses that
happens within the marriage. It can range from small, hurtful words to unfulfilled needs, to as great as having an extra-
marital affair. We take action by correcting them in the most loving way possible. Sometimes, the wrong things they have
done are not easy to forget, but let us be patient with our spouse and ourselves, In situations where our marriage vows
are tested, let us always decide to start anew.

To say “I forgive you” to our spouse is a challenge. PRAYER is our only way to learn how to forgive. A life of unconditional
love and forgiveness is GRACE. Only God can make this possible for us. When we submit to His will, to love one another
as He loves us, we then, experience his grace abounding in us. We become open and quick to saying “I forgive you” to
our spouse. In time, the wounds heal. Even if we remember, we are no longer hurt. We realize that the offense has made
us an even stronger person, making our relationship as husband and wife even stronger, too.

Indeed, married couples do not leave their “I do’s” in the altar but rather commit to a day by day, moment by moment “I
do’s”, in their sacrificial and enduring love for one another.

Key Takeaway:
To say “I forgive you” reveals the generosity and unending mercy of God through our decision and capacity to forgive.
The fact that we keep sinning every day but experience the fullness of His forgiveness should move and remind us to do
the same to others, especially to our closest neighbour – our spouse!

Guide Questions:
Share one experience in the past where you have chosen to forgive your spouse despite mistakes or wrongdoing.
Describe (if applicable) how you expressed forgiveness to him/her.