Stress Management: Turning Stress into Super-Health

According to statistics, in the average organization of 10,000 people, 42 die each year,
prematurely and unnecessarily, from diseases related to stress. Stress is a modern fact of life.
And a modern fact of death. Its effects can seriously damage your business as well as seriously
damage your staff. That's why you need to train all of your people not just to handle their stress
and distress, but to achieve fitness and super-health. It could, quite literally, be a life-saver.

Are You Competent in "Stress Management"?

There are a number of key skills that you need to master in order to be competent in stress
management. These include:
· knowing how stress affects our bodies and causes illness
· knowing what the main stressors are
· understanding how most people cope with stress
· knowing how to manage your physical life in a stress-free way
· being able to deal with harmful emotions
· changing strategies based on separateness to strategies based on connecting
· knowing how to relax, meditate, and let go.

managetrainlearn.com/field/stress-management

Stress Management

Using Self-Help Techniques for Dealing with Stress

It may seem like there’s nothing you can do

about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and

your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more

control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life

is the foundation of managing stress. Stress management is all about taking charge: of your

lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. No matter how stressful

your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

Why is it so important to manage stress?

If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress

wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows

your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life.

Effective stress management, on the other hand, helps you break the hold stress has on your

life, so you can be happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced
life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up

under pressure and meet challenges head on. But stress management is not one-size-fits-all.

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That’s why it’s important to experiment and find out what works best for you. The following

stress management tips can help you do that.

Tip 1: Identify the sources of stress in your life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as

straightforward as it sounds. While it’s easy to identify major stressors such as changing

jobs, moving, or a going through a divorce, pinpointing the sources of chronic stress can be

more complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook how your own thoughts, feelings, and

behaviors contribute to your everyday stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re

constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than

the actual job demands, that is causing the stress.

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right

now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?

Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always

crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy,

that’s all”)?

Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely

normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress

level will remain outside your control.

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal

with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily

log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:

What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)

How you felt, both physically and emotionally

How you acted in response

What you did to make yourself feel better

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Tip 2: Practice the 4 A’s of stress management

While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at

predictable times: your commute to work, a meeting with your boss, or family gatherings,

for example. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation

or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it’s

helpful to think of the four A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

The four A’s – Avoid, Alter, Adapt & Accept

Avoid unnecessary stress

It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be

surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

Learn how to say “no.” Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or

professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.

Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking

on too much.

Avoid people who stress you out. If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit

the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.

Take control of your environment. If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the

TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market

is an unpleasant chore do your grocery shopping online.

Pare down your to-do list. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If

you’ve got too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of

the list or eliminate them entirely.

Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way

you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is

bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and

respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home,

say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings,

resentment will build and the stress will increase.

Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to

do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of

finding a happy middle ground.

Create a balanced schedule. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a

balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily

responsibilities and downtime.

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The four A’s – Avoid, Alter, Adapt & Accept

Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and

regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective.

Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup,

listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how

important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth

getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting

yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and

others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”

Practice gratitude. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the

things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This

simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the
death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way

to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the

long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control,

particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the

things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities

for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on

them and learn from your mistakes.

Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make

mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving

and moving on.

Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if

there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make

an appointment with a therapist.

Tip 3: Get moving

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When you’re stressed, the last thing you probably feel like doing is getting up and

exercising. But physical activity is a huge stress reliever—and you don’t have to be an

athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Exercise releases endorphins

that make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily

worries.

While you’ll get the most benefit from regularly exercising for 30 minutes or more, it’s okay

to build up your fitness level gradually. Even very small activities can add up over the

course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are some easy ways to

incorporate exercise into your daily schedule:

Put on some music and dance around

Take your dog for a walk

Walk or cycle to the grocery store

Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator

Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way

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Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you work out

Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

The stress-busting magic of mindful rhythmic exercise

While just about any form of physical activity can help burn away tension and stress,

rhythmic activities are especially effective. Good choices include walking, running,

swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobics. But whatever you choose, make sure it’s

something you enjoy so you’re more likely to stick with it.

While you’re exercising, make a conscious effort to pay attention to your body and the

physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you’re moving. Focus on

coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or

sunlight feels on your skin. Adding this mindfulness element will help you break out of the

cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress.

Tip 4: Connect to others

There is nothing more calming than spending quality time with another human being who

makes you feel safe and understood. In fact, face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of

hormones that counteracts the body’s defensive “fight-or-flight” response. It’s nature’s

natural stress reliever (as an added bonus, it also helps stave off depression and anxiety). So

make it a point to connect regularly—and in person—with family and friends.

Keep in mind that the people you talk to don’t have to be able to fix your stress. They simply

need to be good listeners. And try not to let worries about looking weak or being a burden

keep you from opening up. The people who care about you will be flattered by your trust. It

will only strengthen your bond.

Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel

overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can

improve your resiliency to life’s stressors.

Tips for building relationships

1. Reach out to a colleague at work

2. Help someone else by volunteering

3. Have lunch or coffee with a friend

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4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly

5. Accompany someone to the movies or a concert

6. Call or email an old friend

7. Go for a walk with a workout buddy

8. Schedule a weekly dinner date

9. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club

10. Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Tip 5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by

carving out “me” time. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget

to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. If you

regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s

stressors.

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Set aside leisure time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow

other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and

recharge your batteries.

Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy,

whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of

laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Take up a relaxation practice. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep

breathing activate the body’s relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite

of the fight or flight or mobilization stress response. As you learn and practice these

techniques, your stress levels will decrease and your mind and body will become calm and
centered.

Tip 6: Manage your time better

Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and

running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. Plus, you’ll be tempted to avoid or cut

back on all the healthy things you should be doing to keep stress in check, like socializing

and getting enough sleep. The good news: there are things you can do to achieve a healthier

work-life balance.

Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too

much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take.

Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of

importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant

or stressful to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a

result.

Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-bystep plan. Focus
on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at

once.

Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or

on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire

to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the

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process.

Tip 7: Maintain balance with a healthy lifestyle

In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase

your resistance to stress.

Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be

mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and

your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.

Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end

in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks,
chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.

Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide

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an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at

hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will

increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

Tip 8: Learn to relieve stress in the moment

When you’re frazzled by your morning commute, stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or

fried from another argument with your spouse, you need a way to manage your stress levels

right now. That’s where quick stress relief comes in.

The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses—what you

see, hear, taste, and touch—or through a soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo,

smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or

hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus yourself. Of course, not

everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way. The key to quick stress

relief is to experiment and discover the unique sensory experiences that work best for you.

Recommended video

Tai Chi Video (Mayo Clinic)

Other resources

Lower Stress: How does stress affect the body? Small changes that can make a big

difference to your stress levels. (American Heart Association)

Meditation: A simple, fast way to reduce stress (Mayo Clinic)

Exercise Fuels the Brain’s Stress Buffers – How regular exercise helps reduce and manage

stress. (American Psychological Association)

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Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., and Robert Segal, M.A. Last

updated: June 2019.

Stress: What is it?

Although we all talk about stress, it often isn’t clear what stress is really about. Many people consider
stress to be something that happens to them, an event such as an injury or a

job loss. Others think that stress is what happens to our body, mind, and behavior in

response to an event (E.g. heart pounding, anxiety, or nail biting). While stress does

involve events and our response to then, these are not the most important factors. Our

thoughts about the situations in which we find ourselves are the critical factor.

When something happens to us, we automatically evaluate the situation mentally. We

decide if it is threatening to us, how we need to deal with the situation, and what skills we

can use. If we decide that the demands of the situation outweigh the skills we have, then

we label the situation as “stressful” and react with the classic “stress response.” If we

decide that our coping skills outweigh the demands of the situation, then we don’t see it

as “stressful.”

Stress can come from any situation or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or

anxious. Everyone sees situations differently and has different coping skills. For this reason,

no two people will respond exactly the same way to a given situation.

Additionally, not all situations that are labeled “stressful” are negative. The birth of a child,

being promoted at work, or moving to a new home may not be perceived as threatening.

However, we may feel that situations are “stressful” because we don’t feel fully prepared to

deal with them.

Stress is a normal part of life. In small quantities, stress is good; it can motivate you and

help you become more productive. However, too much stress, or a strong response to

stress can be harmful. How we perceive a stress provoking event and how we react to it

determines its impact on our health. We may be motivated and invigorated by the events

in our lives, or we may see some as “stressful” and respond in a manner that may have a

negative effect on our physical, mental, and social well-being.

If we always respond in a negative way, our health and happiness may suffer. By understanding
ourselves and our reaction to stress-provoking situations, we can learn to handle

stress more effectively. In the most accurate meaning, stress management is not about
learning how to avoid or escape the pressures and turbulence of modern living; it is about

learning to appreciate how the body reacts to these pressures, and about learning how to

develop skills which enhance the body’s adjustment. To learn stress management is to

learn about the mind-body connection and to the degree to which we can control our

health in a positive sense.

Stress & Stress Management 3

Sources of Stress

We can experience stress from four basic sources:

The Environment – the environment can bombard you with intense and competing

demands to adjust. Examples of environmental stressors include weather, noise, crowding,

pollution, traffic, unsafe and substandard housing, and crime.

Social Stressors – we can experience multiple stressors arising from the demands of the

different social roles we occupy, such as parent, spouse, caregiver, and employee. Some

examples of social stressors include deadlines, financial problems, job interviews, presentations,
disagreements, demands for your time and attention, loss of a loved one, divorce,

and co-parenting.

Physiological – Situations and circumstances affecting our body can be experienced as

physiological stressors. Examples of physiological stressors include rapid growth of adolescence,

menopause, illness, aging, giving birth, accidents, lack of exercise, poor nutrition,

and sleep disturbances.

Thoughts – Your brain interprets and perceives situations as stressful, difficult, painful, or

pleasant. Some situations in life are stress provoking, but it is our thoughts that determine

whether they are a problem for us.

Types of Stressors

Situations that are considered stress provoking are known as stressors. Stress is not always

a bad thing. Stress is simply the body’s response to changes that create taxing demands.

Many professionals suggest that there is a difference between what we perceive as positive

stress, and distress, which refers to negative stress. In daily life, we often use the term

“stress” to describe negative situations. This leads many people to believe that all stress is
bad for you, which is not true.

Positive stress has the following characteristics:

• Motivates, focuses energy

• Is short-term

• Is perceived as within our coping abilities

• Feels exciting

• Improves performance

In contrast, negative stress has the following characteristics:

• Causes anxiety or concern

• Can be short or long-term

• Is perceived as outside of our coping abilities

• Feels unpleasant

• Decreases performance

• Can lead to mental and physical problems

Stress & Stress Management 4

It is somewhat hard to categorize stressors into objective lists of those that cause positive

stress and those that cause negative stress, because different people will have different

perceptions and reactions to particular situations. However, by generalizing, we can compile a list of
stressors that are typically experienced as negative or positive to most people,

most of the time.

Examples of negative personal stressors can include:

• The death of a partner

• Filing for divorce

• Losing contact with loved ones

• The death of a family member

• Hospitalization (oneself or a family member)

• Injury or illness (oneself or a family member)

• Being abused or neglected

• Separation from a spouse or committed relationship partner

• Conflict in interpersonal relationships

• Bankruptcy/money problems

• Unemployment

• Sleep problems

• Children’s problems at school

• Legal problems

• Inadequate or substandard housing

• Excessive job demands

• Job insecurity

• Conflicts with team mates and supervisors

• Lack of training necessary to do a job

• Making presentations in front of colleagues or clients

• Unproductive and time-consuming meetings

• Commuting and travel schedules

Examples of positive personal stressors might include:

• Receiving a promotion at work

• Starting a new job

• Marriage or commitment ceremony

• Buying a home

• Having a child

• Moving

• Taking or planning a vacation

• Holiday seasons

• Retiring

• Taking educational classes or learning a new hobby

Stress & Stress Management 5

Internal Sources of Stress and Anxiety

Stressors are not always limited to situations where some external situation is creating a

problem. Internal events such as feelings, thoughts, and habitual behaviors can also cause
negative stress.

Common internal sources of distress include:

• Fears (e.g., fears of flying, heights, public speaking,

chatting with strangers at a party)

• Repetitive thought patterns

• Worrying about future events (e.g., waiting for medical test

results or job restructuring)

• Unrealistic or perfectionist expectations

Habitual behavior patterns that can lead to stress include:

• Over scheduling

• Failing to be assertive

• Failing to set and maintain healthy boundaries

• Procrastination and/or failing to plan ahead

Cognitive Aspects of Stress and Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling that we commonly experience when faced with stressful life events.

Anxiety can be one of the most distressing emotions that people feel. It is sometimes

called “fear or nervousness”. Common reactions to anxiety include:

Physical Symptoms:

• Sweaty palms

• Muscle tension

• Racing heart

• Flushed cheeks

• Light headedness

Behaviors:

• Avoiding situations where experiencing anxiety might occur

• Leaving situations when feelings of anxiety begins to occur

• Trying to do things perfectly or trying to control events to prevent danger

Moods:

• Nervous
• Irritable

• Anxious

• Panicky

Stress & Stress Management 6

Thoughts:

• Overestimation of danger

• Underestimation of your ability to cope

• Underestimation of help available

• Worries and catastrophic thoughts

Stressors can contribute to our feelings of anxiety. Examples of stressors that contribute to

feelings of anxiety might include trauma (being abused, being in an accident, war); illness

or death, things we are taught (“snakes will bite you”); things we observe (an article in the

newspaper about a plane crash); and experiences that seem too much to handle (giving a

speech, job promotion or termination, having a baby).

The thoughts that accompany anxiety involve the perception that we are in danger or that

we are threatened or vulnerable in some way. A threat of danger can be physical, mental,

or social. A physical threat occurs when you believe that you will be physically hurt (e.g.,

a snake bite, a heart attack, being hit). A social threat occurs when you believe you will be

rejected, humiliated, embarrassed, or put down. A mental threat occurs when something

makes you worry that you are going crazy or losing your mind.

The perception of the threats varies from person to person. Some people, because of their

life experiences, may feel threatened very easily and will often feel anxious. Other people

may feel a greater sense of safety or security. Certain life experiences such as growing up

in a chaotic home with volatile surroundings may lead a person to conclude that the world

and other people are dangerous.

The perception of danger and sense of vulnerability may have helped a person survive as a

child. Being able to recognize danger and its early warning signs are critical to one’s emotional and
physical survival. Some may have developed a very fine ability to spot and

respond to dangerous situations.

As an adult, it may become important to evaluate whether or not its possible that one is

over-responding to danger and threat. Perhaps the people in their adult life are not as

threatening as the people in their childhood. One might consider whether or not their

resources and abilities to cope as an adult open new and creative ways of responding to

threat and anxiety.

Stress & Stress Management 7

Anxious Thoughts

Anxious thoughts are future oriented and often predict catastrophe. Anxious thoughts often

begin with, “What if…” and end with a disastrous outcome. Anxious thoughts frequently

include images of danger as well. For example, a man with a fear of public speaking may,

before a talk, think, “What if I stumble over my words? What if I forget my notes? What if

people think I’m a fool and don’t know what I am talking about?” He may have an image

of himself standing frozen in front of the crowd. These thoughts are all about the future

and predict a dire outcome.

Signs and Symptoms of Stress Overload

It is important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are “out of control” or

having an adverse effect. The signs and symptoms of stress overload can be almost anything. Stress
affects the mind, body, and behavior in many ways, and everyone experiences

stress differently.

Three common ways that people respond when they are overwhelmed by stress are:

1. An angry or agitated stress response. You may feel heated, keyed-up, overly

emotional, and unable to sit still.

2. A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out, and show

very little energy or emotion.

3. Both a tens and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and feel like

you can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you may feel

extremely agitated.

The following lists some of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress. The more

signs and symptoms you notice in yourself, the closer you might be to feeling stress overload.
Cognitive Symptoms:

• Memory problems

• Inability or difficulty concentrating

• Poor judgment

• Seeing only the negative

• Anxious, racing, or ruminating thoughts

• Constant worrying

Emotional Symptoms:

• Moodiness

• Irritability or short-tempered

• Agitation, inability to relax

Stress & Stress Management 8

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Sense of loneliness or isolation

• Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Symptoms:

• Aches and pains, muscle tension

• Diarrhea or constipation

• Nausea, dizziness, or butterflies in the stomach

• Chest pain or rapid heartbeat

• Loss of sex drive

• Frequent colds

• Shallow breathing and sweating

Behavioral Symptoms:

• Eating more or less

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Isolating yourself from others

• Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities

• Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax

• Nervous habits (nail biting, pacing)

Keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of stress also can be caused by other psychological and
medical problems. If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs of stress, it’s

important to see a doctor for an evaluation. Your doctor can help you determine whether or

not your symptoms are stress related.

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