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Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the
DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND
difficult question!"
Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
**********
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Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's
confidential!
**********
Test your Brain
So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still
"with it ." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your
answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and ... Begin. WELL, MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!
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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not
to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
*******
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell " silk." What do cows drink?
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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question.
Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.
It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate
such as Children's World. If you said "water"
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a
pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is
a green house made from?
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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are
you still doing here reading these questions??? ?? If you said "glass,"
Then! Go on to Question 4.
*********
4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany(If you will
recall, Germanyat the time was politically divided into West Germanyand East
Germany.)
Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last
remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the
engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no
man's land" between East Germanyand West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors? East Germanyor West Germanyor in "no man's
land"?
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Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,
You are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash.
Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors",
*********
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Londonto MilfordHaven in
Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and
nine people get on.
In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16
people get on.
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off
and three get on. You then arrive at MilfordHaven. What was the name of the bus driver?
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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
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Now pass this along to all your " smart friends" and hope they do better than you did.
Our friend Paramjeet Singh was traveling for the first time to Delhi from a remote village
in Punjab. He told all the villagers proudly and people started giving him advice. Many
tolsd him that in Delhi lot of cheating takes place and he should be very careful. He can
be lost in the terrific crowd. He promised to be attentive and careful. He boarded the train
and entire village came to the proud son of the village off. He is very excited and some
how managing himself calm. After few hours when the train slowed down near a station
he asked his co-passenger “Bhai saab, Delhi aagaya kya?” . “are sardaarjee, nahi” replied
the neighbour. “Delhi to bahoot door hai.”
Next again after an hour when the train came to a halt he again asked the same co-
passenger “Bhai saab, Delhi aagaya kya?”. Again the passenger said same thing what he
said earlier. This went on for three times . After 2 hours again Paramjeet singh asked him
“Bhai saab, Delhi aagaya kya?”. The neighbour vexed with sardarjee’s anxiety firmly
told him “ Dekho, Sardaarjee, Jab gadi Delhi station pahunchtee hai bahoot shor hota hai,
announcement hota hai. Meherbaani karke mujhe disturb mat karo.” Paramjeet thanked
him and was waiting with tension and excitement. The train stopoped at a station and a
fellow passenger few rows away switched on Radio and the announcement came loud “
Ye delhi station hain”. Immediately sardarjee socha, bhai saab theek bola. Announcement
aya hain. yahi Delhi station hain and he got down the train. He went to taxi stand and
asked a driver to take him to red fort. Driver gave him few stares and refused. Then he
asked another fellow. Driver agreed to
take him but asked for 100/- more than meter. Sardarjee lal quila bahoot door hai, wo
pahad ke peeche hai, isiliye paisa jyaada lagega. Driver ne sardaarjee ko 2 or 3 ghanta
ghumaya aur ek pahhad ke paas legaye. The sun was setting behind the peak and sky was
reddish. Driver told him “sardaarjee, lal quila to is pahad ke peeche hain. Aakash me jo
lal rang dikhrahe hai ye usi ke roshani hai. Mere gadi itni chadayee nahi legi. Aap ye
thodi door paidal jaayiye”.
Sardaar agreed and started climbing the peak. He got there but could not find lal quila. He
started looking for some person so that he can ask for directions. Then he somebody is
climbing the peak from the other side with luggage. He stopped him and enquired with
sad face “ Praji, main yaha do ghante se lal quila dhoondh raha hoon, mila nahin, rasta
zara batavo na”.
The other fellow immediately slapped him and told “ saala jab mujhe ek hafta se kutub
minar nahi mila to tumhe do ghante me hi lal quila kahan se milega?”
santa:oye bante chal chess khelte hain
banta:tu chal mein apna sports shoe phen ke aa raha hooh!!!!!!!! !
Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one
eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where?
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********
Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur
bones.
One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones
are?'
Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.'
'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so
precisely?'
Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started
working here, and that was four and a half years ago.
Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to
know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him
doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on
Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning
it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their
horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind -
Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white.
Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand,
Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up
by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.
Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who was staring in
disbelief at what had happened.
The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Wednesdays and
Saturdays."
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *
There were these two friends and both of them had Sardarji drivers.
They were having an argument about whose driver is more stupid. so one
of the friends called his driver:
"Oye Santa Singh"
Santa Singh replied: "Ji praaJi"
his boss said: "Get this $10 bill, go to Showroom and buy a Mercedes Benz for me"
Santa Singh said: Oh fikar hi na karo ji..mein abhi aaya"
The boss said to his friend in a winning tone.." See how stupid he is.. he went to buy a
Mercedes for only $10"
The
other friend said" Still my driver is more stupid" then he called his
driver Banta Singh and said" Go home and check if I m there"..
BAnta singh said" ji mein abhi aata hoon dekh kar"..
His boss said "see my driver is more stupid..he can't even realize tht how can i be at home
if i m here"
There was a farmer who grew watermelons, and every week he would check on
his crop, and would find that the local kids had got into his field and
eaten as many watermelons as they could.
This went on for some time, and eventually the man got fed up replacing the
missing watermelons.
He made a sign and placed it in the field; the sign read, "Warning! One of
the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide!" He feels
pleased with himself, thinking that will stop the theft of his crop.
A couple of days later, he returns, and the watermelons are all there; but
in the distance, he sees another sign.
He walks over to the sign, and reads, "Now there are two!"
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here
in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall
be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to
discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or
origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet
an American, and nothing but an American...
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!