Reversing Gears: How To Find Living

Relatives
by Martin Fischer | Dec 23, 2009

Building your family tree begins with yourself and your parents, and progresses generation-
by-generation into the past. At some point every family history researcher, novice or
experienced, hits a roadblock in that process. When that occurs, one of the best things to do is
to temporarily step away from the usual research effort, take pleasure in what you have
accomplished so far, and look at the information in a new way.

This detour provides an opportunity to reverse the traditional genealogy research process:
Instead of pursuing the past, seek the present. Instead of identifying forebears, look for
previously unknown living relatives. Instead of concentrating on your direct ancestors, start
searching for those ancestors' siblings' descendants.

Some of the same tools of the trade that facilitate traditional genealogy research can assist in
the pursuit of your living distant cousins. Use these resources in a step-by-step process to
build a chain of evidence to link these one-time strangers to your family tree.

Death Notices
Newspaper obituaries and death notices usually include several kinds of information that may
help with your search: names of the deceased's children and grandchildren, place of burial,
church or synagogue membership, professional or volunteer group affiliations. Official
certificates of death often list place of burial and name a "witness" or "contact" who may be
an adult child of the deceased.

Keep in mind when the person's death happened. If they died late in the 19th century or early
in the 20th century, their children and grandchildren listed in the obituary as survivors are
now likely deceased themselves. Look for their obituaries and then try to find their living
survivors or descendants. Call, write or e-mail the cemeteries, funeral homes and monument
companies for more information. The cemetery may be able to provide the name of the person
who purchased the burial plot and should be able to identify the monument company. The
funeral home may have the names of living descendants. The monument company may have a
record of who paid for the grave marker.

Case in point: For years I have been reading old St. Louis Jewish newspapers that are
available on microfilm. In an 1886 edition of the St. Louis Jewish Free Press I found a brief
obituary on one of my great-great-grandfathers. It listed three surviving children who I knew
were living in St. Louis at the time of his death and another who I erroneously thought had
stayed in Germany. Because the obit gave her married name, I was able to use funeral home,
monument company and synagogue records to trace her line to two living brothers who are
my third cousins. (See table below.)

Census Records
The U.S. census offers a wealth of information about nuclear families by listing parents and
children living together at their home addresses. The 1930 census can provide names of
children who may still be alive. When the 1940 census becomes available digitally in 2012, it
will contain more people who are still living who were children when the census was taken.
Older censuses may provide the first link in a chain of evidence leading to living relatives.

The Lost Cousins web site offers a database in which you can list your ancestral information
from the 1880 U.S. census or the 1881 British and Canadian censuses. When someone else
lists the same individuals as you, then Lost Cousins puts you in contact with each other.

Churches and Synagogues

Religious institutions of all kinds maintain membership lists. They publish monthly or weekly
newsletters or bulletins that may help you find your relatives. Sometimes these bulletins--
which may list names of members who have made donations and publicize such events as
engagements, weddings, confirmations and bar and bat mitzvahs--can be found online. A
phone call to the church or synagogue administrator or office secretary can be very
productive. They may tell you how to contact the person you are seeking. If not, they may be
willing to contact them for you and relay your contact information and query to them.
Jewish Records
In addition to the above, synagogues also maintain yahrtzeit lists on the anniversary of
members' relatives' deaths. A few weeks before the anniversary of a death, living family
members receive a notice from the synagogue reminding them that their deceased parent or
grandparent will be mentioned at a coming Sabbath service.

Yad Vashem, the Holocaust memorial in Israel, maintains an online database of pages of
testimony about Holocaust victims. Pages of testimony are forms that were completed by
survivors, living relatives, friends, colleagues and other associates of people who were killed
in the Shoah. They attest to what information was last known about the victims. If the person
who completed a page of testimony was a relative of the deceased, then their relationship is
usually specified. The living relative's home address at the time the forms were filled out is
often included.

Case in point: Early in 2003, before Yad Vashem had posted their online database of pages
of testimony, I wrote them asking for any information about my wife's Landmann family
cousins from Romania who were believed to have died in the Holocaust. The pages of
testimony they sent included the name and address of a distant cousin still living in Israel who
had completed the forms for Yad Vashem. Our daughter happened to be studying in Israel at
the time and was able to meet her. We still correspond.

JewishGen is a comprehensive web site for Jewish genealogy researchers. It includes a

Family Finder database and a family tree database that can be used to contact other people
who are researching the same families as you.

Other Online Sources

Your search for obituaries can be assisted on several different free web sites. Recent obits are
available on http://legacy.com/NS/ where you can search by the deceased's name or by
newspaper. Older obits and death notices can be found through the Google News
Archives site. The ProQuest historical newspaper databases are available at public and
university libraries. Also, the Library of Congress has a free searchable online database of
hundreds of newspapers from 1880 through 1922.

Several online telephone and address directories may provide you with the final set of data
you will need to contact your newly discovered distant cousins. Some directories are limited
to the United States, such as ZabaSearch.com, while others, such as NumberWay.com, have
contact information for people living in foreign countries.

Cases in point: My wife knew that one of her great-grandmothers had a sister who had
married a man named Kamin in Pennsylvania. Using an online phone directory, she found a
cluster of Kamins living in the Pittsburgh area, and we were able to establish contact with
several of them by sending letters by snail mail. Similarly, I knew that I had some distant
cousins with the unusual name of Lubansky who had immigrated to Australia. I found several
of them listed in an online phone directory for Australia and sent them snail-mail letters. I
now regularly correspond by e-mail with my third cousin who is their family historian.
Once you know your new relatives' names, social networking sites such as Facebook.com and
professional networking sites such as LinkedIn.com can help you contact them through their
messaging tools.

Case in point: Years ago I had obtained family tree information from a couple of my elderly
distant cousins in the Duke family who live in various Southern states, but they had stopped
responding to my letters. This branch of my family all had very common names, so online
address directory searches were unproductive because there were way too many people with
the same names. By using Facebook's "find friends" option, I was able to track down several
younger family members and messaged them through Facebook.

Making First Contact

When you decide to reach out to your new distant cousins--whether you contact them by
phone, e-mail or snail mail--be prepared for any questions they may have. They may be
suspicious of your motives. Fears of identity theft and other scams are very common.
Genealogy does not interest or appeal to everyone. Maintain a positive attitude while you
alleviate their concerns.

In your first communication with them explain why you are contacting them, who you are,
how you found them, and how you are related to them. This is where your documented chain
of evidence linking you to them is crucial for building your credibility. Share your family tree,
relevant family photos and interesting family anecdotes.

Ask them to share their family history with you. If they seem to be uninterested or uninvolved
in family history, ask for the names and contact information of others in their family who
might be more interested in genealogy. Most likely someone in their family will be as
enthusiastic about your discovering them as you are.

After achieving success in your pursuit of previously unknown living relatives, you can return
refreshed and rejuvenated to the traditional genealogical hunt for ancestors. Explore the new
online tools that may have become available in the meantime. And when you again feel the
need to take a break from the usual pursuit of the past, just reverse gears again into the
present.

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