BLOCKS TO COMMUNICATION

 Low self esteem  Being under the influence of drugs and

 Shyness alcohol
 Hearing what we want to hear (‘wishful  Showing of emotion eg. Crying
thinking’)  Offensive language
 Lack of knowledge or information on a  Talking excessively
particular topic  Not getting appropriate feedback
 Preoccupations  Taking feedback personally
 Not paying attention  Clothes / outward appearance
 Bad timing  Making assumptions eg. Stereotyping
 Physical and mental illness and  Closing out minds
disabilities  Lack of trust
 Unresolved conflict  Using jargon or words people don’t
 Cultural factors understand
 Negative body language such as  Tone and volume of voice
distracting behaviour.  Standing too far or too close
 Anger and violence  Touching in appropriately
 Isolation  Lack of eye contact or too much
 Not actively listening  Having prejudices and biases
 Noise  Being emotionally too close or too
 Interruptions distant
 Uncomfortable or unsuitable physical  Verbals and non-verbals not matching.
environment.

AIDS TO COMMUNICATION

 Appropriate eye contact

 Positive body language  Using words that people will
understand (appropriate language)
 Active listening
 Honesty
 Clear and steady voice
 Trust
 Respecting the personal space of others
 Comfortable and safe atmosphere
 Using touch appropriately
 Minimising distractions and interruptions
 Clothes / outward appearances.
 Confidence
 Showing of emotion e.g. crying
 High self esteem
 Being focussed
 Good timing
 Paying attention
 Open feedback
 Matching verbals and non-verbals
 Using feedback constructively
 Using assertive statements such as “ I
think…”, “I feel…”
 Giving clear and specific messages
 Being informed and aware
 Suitable physical environment
 Keeping an open mind
 Not jumping to conclusions
 Check that meaning is accurate.

DECS Mentoring 2008 - Re-printed with permission of Northern Metropolitan Community

Health Service and Shopfront Youth Health and Information Service
True Colours Training Manual: Self esteem Program for Young Women
 COMMUNCIATION KILLERS
(Source: Cornelius & Faire, 1989)
Communication Killer Example
THREATS “If you’re not able to get to work on time we’ll
Produce fear, submission, resentment, hostility have to review your job here.” “Do it or else…”

ORDERS “I’ll see you immediately in my office.”

Using Power over another “Don’t ask me why, just do it because it said so.”

CRITICISM “You don’t work hard enough.” “You’re always

Put Downs complaining.”

NAME CALLING “Only and idiot would say that.” “You stupid
‘Branding” the other person fool.” “What can you expect from a bureaucrat?”

‘SHOULDERING’ OR ‘OUGHTING’ “You should be more responsible.” “You ought to

face facts.” “You shouldn’t be so angry.”

WITHHOLDING RELEVANT “You’ll love this project” (not saying how much
INFORMATION (with a trap at the end) work is involved).

INTERROGATION “How many hours did that take you?”

“How much did this cost?” “Why are you so
late?” “ What are you doing?”

PRAISING TO MANIPULATE “You’re so good at report writing, will you do this

one for me?”

DIAGNOSING MOTIVES “You’re very possessive.” “You’ve always had a

problem with motivation.”

UNTIMELY ADVICE (when the person just “If you’d just straighten up your desk, you would
wants to be heard.) not be in this panic.” “Why didn’t you do it this
way?” “Just ignore them.”

PERSUADING WITH LOGIC “There’s nothing to be upset about. It’s all

perfectly reasonable.”

REFUSING TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE “There’s nothing to discuss. I can’t see any
problems.”

CHANGING THE TOPIC “That’s interesting … I saw a funny movie last

night.”

TOPPING “I had a dreadful car accident last week.” “You

should have seen the one I had.”

REASSURANCE BY NEGATION “Don’t be nervous.” “Don’t worry, it will work

out.” “You’ll be fine.” “You look terrific.”
DECS Mentoring 2008 - Re-printed with permission of Northern Metropolitan Community
Health Service and Shopfront Youth Health and Information Service
True Colours Training Manual: Self esteem Program for Young Women
DECS Mentoring 2008 - Re-printed with permission of Northern Metropolitan Community
Health Service and Shopfront Youth Health and Information Service
True Colours Training Manual: Self esteem Program for Young Women
 SOME WAYS WE BLOCK COMMUNICATION

ORDERING ADVISING RIDICULING SMPATHISING

You must, you have to Why don’t you, it would be best if OK Know-it-all, you spilt brat Don’t worry, you’ll feel better

WARNING LECTURING DIAGNOSING UNDERMINING

You’d better, if you don’t then. Do you realise, the facts are What you need is, You’re nothing but…
What’s wrong with you is

MORALISING JUDGING INTERROGATING

You should, you ought to: You are wrong, you are acting stupidly why…who…how

(Source Unknown: Not an original document)

 BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

1. Criticising
2. Name Calling
3. Diagnosing JUDGING
4. Praising Evaluatively

5. Ordering
6. Threatening
7. Moralising SENDING SOLUTIONS
8. Excessive / Inappropriate Questioning

9. Advising
10.Diverting AVOIDING THE OTHER’S CONCERNS
11.Logical Argument
12.Reassuring
.

(Source: Bolton, 1986)