# Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but s

tops your biscuit from going soft.

# Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always rem
ember who laid them!
# An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card

# Boss to a lady during interview: What's the difference between Paperclip and S
crew?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.
# If necessity is the mother of invention, then Frustration is the father of mast
urbation!

# What is the definition of a healthy virgin?

One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !
# While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.

# Define contraceptive pill?

It s the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.
# What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!

# Gabbar: Are o Samba kitni goliyan hai?

Gabbar: Admi 3 aur goliyan 6 bahut nainsafi hai.
Samba: Kahe ki nainsafi sardar 3 admiyon ki 6 goli Hi to hoti hai!
# Importance of UNITY explained at it's best:
One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are Fucked.

# Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been marrie
d to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.
<< Previous ( 13-24 of 380 ) Next >>
# Two prostitutes were talking,
1st: We r in the best business in the world.
2nd: How?
1st: We have it, sell it, and we still have it.

# Tension is when wife is pregnant!

Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
# Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It s only when u leave her a vir
gin!

# Girl: Tumne mujh mein aisa kya dekha jo tumhe mujhse pyar ho gaya?
Boy: Darling! Abhi kuchh dekha kahan hai? Dekne ke liye hi toh pyar kiya hai!
# Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: Wwe repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.

# Similarity between a dick & matchstick?

Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzl
e out after showing valour for 2secs !!!
# A hillarious spelling mistake behind a truck, saying: Put deeper at night!

# In life, never look down on anybody, unless u r getting a lovely view of the c
leavage!
# Russian: Sir we got a huge order from usa for 16 inches condoms. I think it is
to embrass us.
Boss: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE.

# Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity don't screw the opportunity!
# Why is a woman's pubic hair curly?
So that it won't poke a man in the eye!

# Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?

To see if u really mean it!
# Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again.

# Why can't anybody satisfy a Woman Completely?

Because nobody has a Dick made of Gold, Decorated with Diamonds & which Ejaculat
es Cash!
# A just born baby was laughing hard with its tiny fingers closed. The confused
Pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers & found... A Birth Control pill !
# Life is all about Ass; We are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it,
kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one!
# This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan: We stare because we car
e!

# Teacher: Soch or Veham me kya fark hai..? Pappu: Aap ki Beti Sweet & Sexy hai Y
e hamari Soch hai or wo hamare hathon se bach jayegi ye Aap ka Veham hai.
# LESBIAN kisko kehte hain?
2 kamini ladkiyan, jo mard ko khush nahi dekh sakti!

# 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping & the rest is '69'.
# Marwari 2 prostitute: I'll pay double if u let me do it in Marwari style. She
agrees.
After sex, she asks: What's Marwari style?
Marwari payment after 90 days!

# You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like piz
za?!
# Define Rape with the help of one good example?
Rape is a very-very difficult Job, For eg. It is like playing GOLF with a contin
uously moving HOLE!

# Response during sex:

Mistress: Wow ! Darling this is great.
Whore: Come on finish it now.
Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly.
Wife: Ceiling needs painting !
# Height of being Realistic: An actress being fucked by a producer widout using
a condom saying that she has 2 play the role of a Pregnant lady in his next film
!

# Knowledge is like ur underwear... U should have it, but not show it off & most
important, while having sex, keep ur knowledge aside!
# Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha.
2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana padta...

# If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.
# Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When a
boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....

# Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?

Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aati ha
i, usko jimmedari kehte hai.
# Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about Trusting Respect
ing & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying Push it m
ore.

# Lady: What is a good time for Sex?

Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...
# Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her n asked
: What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!

# Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featu
red every month.
# Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.

# Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?

Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.
<< Previous ( 49-60 of 380 ) Next >>
# Why did Shahid and Kareena break up?
Because she wanted to have Saif Sex !

# Why is sex similar to shaving?

Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again
# First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I'm feeling guilty
Second Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.
First Doc: Yeah, but I'm a Veterinary doctor.

# Give an example of Complete business failure due to negligence.

A pregnant prostitute.
# A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my ap
artment. Pick him up in the morning!
# 25 Uuseless things in a Man's body: 20 Nails you can't Hammer, 2 Tits you can'
t Milk, 1 Cock that doesn't Crow, and 2 Balls you can't Throw !!
# A man is a king. A king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches.
Are you a man?"

# Boy to girl in a party: Kitne bhai behen ho!

Girl: Six
Boy: Maa Baap ko aur koi kaam nahi tha kya?
Girl: Tum kitne ho?
Boy: One
Girl: Baap me dam nahi tha kya?
# Monica Lewinsky turned 31. How time flies! It seems like yesteraday when she w
as crawling around the White House on her hands n knees puttin everything in her
mouth!

# What is similarity between sex n shave?

If u don't do it for 4-5 days, it starts showing on d face.
# What's the height of bad luck?
Having sex in dreams and getting AIDS in real life...!

# What's the similarity between women & folding chair?

Both are useless unless until u don't open their legs.
# Stock broker catches wife in bed with other man: What's going on?
Wife: Due to boom in market & ur less investment capacity, honey I've gone for P
UBLIC ISSUE!

# Jack: It's just too hot to wear clothes today, but what would the neighbors th
ink if I mowed the lawn naked?
Wife: That I married u for ur money.
# 90 sal ke Buddhe Ne Viagra kharidi aur medical wale se puchha 'Kaise Leni hai?
'
Dukandar ne upar se niche tak dekha aur kaha: Tulsi Aur Gangajal ke Sath Lo.

# During war, enemy soldier sees 3 nuns. He says I want revenge & remoevd his pa
nts. Young nun requested Plz spare older Nun.
Older nun: Shut up u Bitch, War is War.
# The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced the
m to : Hang Till Death !

# Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?

Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmit
a Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!
# A Survey Report:
Women who sleep on their sides are Sensitive.
Who sleep on their stomach are Competent.
Who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!

# What's a contraceptive pill?

It's the second best thing that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
. Now dont ask wats the first thing!
# Lady: Dr.! How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?
Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!

# Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.

Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never fucked ur mom.
Girl: True, but my father did !
# Sex n shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating
in 15 minutes n women want to go on and on and on and on!

# Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired
of fuckin her!
# How do you define a virgin?
On the Verge but not in!

# MBBS Final Exams, Question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a lady faints, we mus
t 1st check her pu_ s _ . Only few students like me who wrote: Pulse Passed.
# Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose. One of the
female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn t taste sweet?

# It s so common hearing: How r u? What r u doin? How was ur day? Any plans? So I
thought I'll ask sumthing different. Did u scratch ur balls today?
# The saddest part of a Man's body are the Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced th
em to BE HANGED TILL DEATH !

# Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati ko kya ka
rna chahiye?
Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!
# Sex is like your Income... You never disclose what you get, but you always thi
nk others are getting more.
# A Fact: Fuck a woman and she Loves you... Love a woman and she Fucks you.
# Virginity is like a balloon-1 prick & its gone!
Sex is like a pack of chips- Once u start, u can't stop!
Life is like a dick- When it gets hard, it fucks!

# What has fifty teeth & guards a monster?

Your Pant Zip !
# What is virginity?
Virginity is a big issue over a small tissue.

# Why do men get circumcised?

Because women will GRAB anything with 20% off!!
# Church de gate te likhya c: J tusi paap kar k thak gaye o taan meri sharan ch
aajao.
Ik callgirl ne note pad ke usde niche apney mobile number de naal likh dita, J n
ahi thake taan meri sharan ch aa jao!

# Possible slogans for promoting Condoms: You can't go wrong if u shield your di
ng dong.
She won't get sick if u wrap your Dick.
If u go in heat cover ur Meat.
Don't be a Fool Vulcanize ur tool.
Wrap it in Foil before checking her oil.
# Why is Pool called a fool's game?
Coz u hold the stick & put the ball in the hole, instead of holding balls & putt
ing the stick in the hole!

# Tell me the name of the guy who made u pregnant?

Darling: Dear, if u eat fifteen bananas, can u tell which one made u fat.
# What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damm Woman trying to do a Man's job!!

# Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !

# Last night at a party, someone yelled: Married guys, stand next to the person
who's made your life worth living! The bartender was almost crushed!

# He asked: How do you feel about SEX.

She said: Well I like it Infrequently.
HE asked: Is that One word or Two?
# Education is like hiring a prostitute-it needs both money & hard work. Fate is
 like getting raped-if u can't fight it, enjoy. Work is like group sex-10 people
r behind ur ass to take ur place. Success is like masturbation-only ur own hand
can let u achieve it.

# Dear Sexscriber, Ur SEX Balance is Low, Ur Account Will be Put into Virginity
Mode. Pls Refuck as Soon as Possible to Keep Ur Account ACTIVE. Condoms Apply...
# A couple, recently married, were unhappy with the whole thing... He was unhapp
y with the hole and She was unhappy with the thing!

# Two Gays got into a heated argument. Whilst arguing, 1 of them shouted: Kiss M
y Ass!
The other replied: This is not the time 2 b romantic.
# The makers of Viagra have announced that they have developed a pill to increas
e wetness in females. The pill will be called Niagara!

# Recently a London Newspaper has revealed why Lady Diana left Prince Charles. A
fter marriage she found out that all rulers do not have twelve inches.
# The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman te
ll dthe other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.

# Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight.

New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make something super straight...!
# What do politicians and porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

# On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet U!
Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that.
# A white man was on a safari in Africa, he saw a black man bathing in a river,
the black man was very well endowed, in fact it was hanging below the knees, the
white man stared in astonishment. The black man asked in anger: What s the matter
, does not the white man's member shrink in cold water?

# Test ur IQ:
Poisonous BRA: CoBra
Mathemetical BRA: AlgeBra
Striped BRA: ZeBra
Strongest BRA:VerteBra
Sun-sign BRA: LiBra
And u thought u knew all abt BRA!
# Want to see URANUS planet without a telescope ?
Ok, bend ur waist by 90 degrees, then bend ur knees 45 degrees. Hold a mirror be
tween ur legs, now u can see UR-ANUS!
# It s so common hearing How r u? What r u doing? How was ur day? Any plans? So I
thought I ll ask something different. Did u scratch ur balls today?
# Girl: Darling tumne mujhme aisa kya dekha ki tumhe mujhse pyar ho gaya?
Boy: Darling abhi kuch dekha hi kahan hai, dekhne ke liye hi to tumse pyar kar r
aha hu!!!

# Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves U. It s only when U send her virgin.
-Swami Sexanand.