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“My Problem with her Anger,” by Eric Bartels Critique

When people enter into marriage, they expect it to be blissful, joyful, and full of

happiness. Though, they know there will be challenges, they never imagine it to be worse. Eric

Bartels, who works at Portland Tribune in Portland as a writer, narrates how it is to be married to

a woman who is always angry. Through his article “My Problem with her Anger,” Bartels tells

about his marriage which started off well but now has constant angry outbursts and change in

roles. He begins by giving instances where he washes dishes and floors and fixes the sink. Using

this situation, Bartes makes a comparison to his marriage; how it has constant quarrels. He

narrates how before marriage one could do a lot of things yet not cause a lot of fury from their

wives. Moreover, an individual had the freedom to go basketball games and drinking bars with

friends without causing a lot of trouble. However, when they got children, their wives anger

increased. After providing such an excellent introduction, Bartels goes ahead to give instances of

how he angered his wife and ended up being rebuked and tongue lashed. He understands the

significant amount of work her wife does, for example, taking the children to school, cooking

and cleaning the house. However, Bartes also wants her wife to realize that he has foregone some

of his freedoms like drinking beer with friends and playing basketball games. He says that he

works hard and would like to be appreciated for all his work though it may seem little; all the

errands Bartels undertakes to make her wife’s life much easier appear wrong in her eyes. For

example, he came home one day and made dinner for her wife and kids. Instead of the wife
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appreciating, she complains that he should have cooked rice instead of pasta. By giving a

detailed description of the issues in the marriage, Bartels brings into light problems married

people encounter (Bartels 58-60). However, though his article captures the different issues

between a husband and wife, it fails to provide solutions to the problems or even try to explain

the perspective of the wife. The entire narrative is from a husband’s point of view.

Bartels says that his wife has formed a habit of blaming him for every bad thing. Every

time he tries to offer a hand, he is discouraged and told how it may lead to a problem. An

example of such a situation is when Bartes was trying to arrange contents of the armoire by

shifting them to the basement. The wife complained that by seeking to move them, he was going

to create more junk which she was not in a position to clean (Bartels 58). In response, Bartels

raises questions justifying his actions and logic behind his actions. One of the questions was

“why couldn’t they just make another separate project of sorting out the basement later” (Bartels

59). Another example of a situation Bartels provides the compliant but not a proper illustration of

the solution is when the wife protested that he was not helping enough because he was not

getting the kids ready for bed, yet he was busy cleaning up after dinner he had prepared. Bartels

asks why he and the wife could not just discuss their issues rationally (Bartels 59). Bartels

provides a hint of the solution but not a proper course of carrying it out by creating a healthy

environment for discussion. He recognizes that communication is essential, but how to initiate

it's hard because it takes cooperation from the wife for it to work. Furthermore, the scenes given

in the narrative are all from Bartels perspective. Her wife does not get to give her part of the

story.

Additionally, Bartels give his point of view and no answers for the problems. He states

that marriage ought to be blissful. However, when one has sired children, the marriage undergoes
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some challenges. In response, couples need to have an agreement on how to raise their kids,

providing a solution in situations they fail to agree on the type of punishment. Bartels discloses

that the wife scolds the children for small mistakes such as switching on the television or

standing on chairs. He understands that these are the kind of activities boys will always do. He

says that children need to know when the answer are no. However, there are better methods of

doing it. I agree with his perspective that children need to be taught gently. Parents are not

required to fight much, but if they do, they should not do it in front of their children; they should

wait until the children are away or asleep (Bartels 59). While Bartels agrees and knows the need

of other discipline measures, he does not counsel his wife on some of the techniques. He also

does not try to blame himself for some of the manners the children display making their mother

angry. Bartels does a terrible job in trying to explain her wife’s part of the story. He only tells his

wife regularly blames him yet he had foregone most of his leisure activities to assist in house

chores. Bartels narrates how his wife, irrespective of his effort, is not satisfied and constantly

complaints of little things, for example, when he tried to move things from the sentry, he was

told that he will make things worse (Bartels 58). To sum it up, Bartels’s narrative is good and

well written. However, it is done from one point of view and without solutions for the problems.

In conclusion, Bartels does great work in highlighting some of the issues in marriage.

However, he only gives from his point of view. Furthermore, he does not provide solutions for

the problems; for example, he asks questions hinting solutions but not how to carry them out.

After his wife complaints that he would only make a mess of his arrangement, he asks why they

could not move it and then come up with a project of arranging the basement. His questions just

give a hint but not the entire solution. While it is important to highlight some of the issues
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couples face in marriage, it is imperative to provide solutions. Similarly, the point of view of

both couples should be given so to understand the problems and its causes better.