SH1687

Social Graces

According to Lord Chesterfield (Philip Dormer Stanhope, a statesman and a man of letters from
London) "Good breeding is the result of much good sense, some good nature, and a little self-
denial for the sake of others, and with a view to obtain the same indulgence from them." It is true
that all civilized societies are built upon discipline. Since man is gregarious by nature and people
meet each other at all levels whether at home, at work, and in everyday life they desire to comply
with personal needs which at times becomes contrary to others which results in conflict and
tension. Hence, there are certain unwritten guidelines that will maintain the harmony in
relationships basically by adhering to conventional requirements of social behavior.

Social graces is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to
contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. It is what determines
what is cultured, acceptable, and normal hence, deviation from the same rules of etiquette will
label a person as 'barbaric' and uncultured.

Social Graces are a reflection of one's education, values, and sensitivity. The same could be
manifested in several ways according to Samkar (2004, as cited by Magalona & Sadsad, 2016).

A. Smoking Etiquette
1. Use an ashtray.
2. Put out the stub.
3. Do not throw cigarette butts on the floor.
4. Throw cigarette butts in proper places.
5. Don't smoke while walking.
6. Never smoke in public vehicles.
7. Be courteous to those who are sensitive to smoke.

B. Drinking Etiquette
1. Don't create unpleasantness for hosts & companions.
2. Drink in moderation.
3. Drink slowly.
4. Don't mix drinks.
5. When you drink, don't take sleeping drugs.
6. Drink coffee to cure a hangover.
7. Call it a day when you feel you had enough.

C. Dating Etiquette
1. Give a gift.
2. Learn to appreciate.
3. Do not embarrass the other person if you don't really like him/her.
4. Don't stay so late at night.
5. Inform your parents.
6. Don't be tempted by smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex.
7. Control yourself.

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8. Know the difference between being a young person and men and women who are more
emotionally mature and ready.
9. Don't waste money.
10. Plan ahead.

D. Party Etiquette
1. Plan ahead.
2. Make good food.
3. Don't over decorate.
4. Relax.
5. Dress up well.
6. Receive guests personally.
7. Get the conversation going.
8. Play soft music.
9. Arrange party games.
10. Appreciate hospitality.
11. Be on time.
12. Make new friends.
13. Eat moderately.
14. Do not overstay.
15. Thank the host & hostess.

E. Phone Etiquette
1. Greet the one you are calling.
2. The caller should identify himself first.
3. Modulate your voice & be articulate.
4. The caller should end the call.
5. Use good speech habits.
6. Be helpful and accommodating.
7. Avoid negative phrases.
8. Say 'thank you and goodbye'.

Reference:
Magalona, E. & Salting-Sadsad, E. (2016). Personal development: theory & practice. Manila,
Philippines: Mindshapers Co., Inc.
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