last word

Sharing Critical Feedback

Being the bearer of bad news is neither fun nor easy. Successful managers
tend to be direct (although not harsh) early on in the conversation.
By Michael Rosenthal

Q: Our organization has a culture of

kindness, which leads to managers not
sharing difficult feedback with direct
reports. Many fear facing emotional reactions from
support any evaluative statements (e.g.,
“You have been underperforming”) with
objective data (e.g., “You have generated
20 percent less than your peers), and to
be encouraging about his or her ability to
their staff. Any advice?
control the outcome in the future (e.g., “I

A: fun nor easy. While many in this situ-

Being the bearer of bad news is neither
ation default to beating around the bush, or
worse, avoiding the critical feedback altogether,
Michael Rosenthal managers have more success by being direct
is managing partner (although not harsh) very early on.
of Consensus (www. First, take a few minutes to talk about something
consensusgroup. other than work. Research shows that as little as
com), a negotiation a few minutes of upfront conversation unrelated
and conflict resolution to the matter at hand dramatically increases the
level of collaboration going forward.
firm headquartered
Next, ease into the conversation with a gentle
in New York City and
warning that emotionally prepares the listener:
with regional offices
“I have some unfortunate feedback to
in Europe, India, share with you.”
and the Middle East. Proceed by sharing three pieces of infor- Express empathy and solicit their
Consensus provides
Talent Development
mation:
1. Your attitude toward the employee
reaction: “I’m sure this comes as a
services, including 2. The feedback itself shock, and is disappointing. What’s
3. How you feel about the feedback
customized training
and coaching, as For example, “I really value you as a going through your mind?”
well as Consulting member of our team, and would like to
and Peace Building see you grow with the company. Nevertheless, I
cannot promote you at this time. I feel bad, and
services. For more
wish this weren’t the case.”
information, contact
Express empathy and solicit their reaction:
212.391.8100
“I’m sure this comes as a shock, and is disap-
or mrosenthal@ pointing. What’s going through your mind?”
consensusgroup.com. Now comes the hard part. Sit quietly and listen
attentively as the person responds.
When the employee is done speaking, fight the
urge to explain the decision. Instead, summa-
rize everything he or she has expressed—both
the words and the context; confirm with the em-
ployee that you understood him or her correctly
and that you have not missed anything. Doing
this will help the employee feel understood, and,
in turn, should help de-escalate the situation.
There is a good chance the employee’s initial
response might be, “Why?!” So be prepared to
know you have it in you to make it up next year”).
One of the hazards to be wary of in this type of
conversation is the conflation of your relation-
ship with the decision at hand, e.g., “If you really
appreciate me as a worker, you would promote
me.” Should you encounter this, address both
aspects of the assertion independently. First, ad-
dress the relationship component (e.g., you must
not appreciate me as a worker) until the matter
is resolved. For example, “I do appreciate you.
I’m sorry if I haven’t done enough to express
that appreciation. I have tried, though, and will
continue to try. Have there been other times you
haven’t felt appreciated?” Once that has been
addressed, share the reasons behind your feed-
back/decision.
Throughout the conversation, provide an
opportunity to ask questions and to share the
employee’s perspectives (supported by data).
Ensure that he or she understands the feedback
and rationale, since understanding generally
leads to acceptance. Eliciting his or her data
ensures you haven’t overlooked important
information when making your decision.
Close with empathy (“I’m sorry this is how
things played out”), and with a positive outlook
for the future (“Once you master this aspect
of the job, I look forward to promoting you”).
Most important, invite the employee to come
back to you with further questions or thoughts
on the topic. nt

64 | JULY/AUGUST 2018 training www.trainingmag.com