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5. Avoid starting sentences with “there is”, “there are’, or “it is”.
Correct: Four officers report to the captain.
Incorrect: There are four officers who report to the captain.
o Vague: The Acme Corporation is developing a new consumer device that allows users to
communicate vocally in real time.
o Specific: The Acme Corporation is developing a new cell phone.
Readers may not immediately understand what the first sentence describes. Is this a brand new
kind of device? Or a device they’ve never heard of? The second sentence, on the other hand, says exactly
what the product is, leaving little room for doubt.
Multiple negatives require your readers to interpret your meaning. Affirmatives, instead, convey concise
meaning that needs no interpretation.
Before: Your audience will not appreciate the details that lack relevance.
After: Your audience will appreciate relevant details.
ONE OF THE CLEAREST SIGN OF THE BAD LEGALWRITER IS THE DOUBLE NEGATIVE.
o "not uncommon"
o "failed to show inability"
o "not insignificant"
o "not uncomplicated"
o "no small part"
o "not incapable"
o "not inappropriate
GOOD WRITERS USE SINGLE POSITIVES
"common"
"showed ability"
"significant"
"complicated"
"large part"
"capable"
"appropriate"
12. Avoid noun strings - noun strings can confuse readers, as they are difficult to understand.
Before: The Acme Corporation continues to work on the cell phone case configuration revision project.
After: The Acme Corporation is developing a redesigned cell phone case.
13. Pay attention to sentence length and emphasis - Use short sentences to emphasize a point; use longer
sentences to connect ideas more elegantly and for better emphasis. Use subordination and coordination to connect
ideas.
This report provides operational information about the electrical equipment the Acme Corporation recently
installed at their headquarters in Los Angeles (long sentence). The equipment will increase energy efficiency by 25%
(short sentence).
occur—occurrence
evaluate—evaluation
execute—execution
BAD LEGAL WRITERS TURN VERBS INTO NOUNS, AND THEN ADD AN EXTRA VERB TO TAKE THE PLACE OF THE ONE
THEY CONVERTED
a) "reached a conclusion"
b) "granted a continuance"
c) "involved in a collision"
d) "take action"
GOOD WRITERS JUST USE THE FIRST VERB
a) "concluded"
b) "continued"
c) "collided"
d) "act"
SPOTTING GUIDE Look for words ending in "ion."
16. FEAR OF CALLING THINGS BY THEIR NAMES.
BAD LEGAL WRITERS ARE AFRAID TO CALL THINGS BY NAME, USING GENERIC TERMS INSTEAD.
The plaintiff
The defendant
The day in question
The scene of the accident
Her place of employment
GOOD WRITERS GIVE THEIR CHARACTERS NAMES.
Susan Jones
Michael Fitzhugh
June 3rd
In the parking lot
Pizza Hut
17.VERBOSITY.
BAD LEGAL WRITERS USE RUN-ON SENTENCES CONTAINING NUMEROUS QUALIFYING PHRASES.
"The court in Chester v. Morris, a case involving a similar traffic accident, held that a person riding a bicycle must
adhere to the same standards as a person driving a car, although it limited its holding to the facts of that case, which
included the fact that the bicyclist was intoxicated."
GOOD WRITERS USE SEVERAL SHORT SENTENCES.
"Chester v. Morris involved a similar traffic accident. The court held that a bicyclist must adhere to the same
standards as a person driving a car. The opinion is limited to situations in which the bicyclist is intoxicated."
18. PHRASES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO MEANING WHATSOEVER.
AND THE CLEAREST SIGN OF THE BAD LEGAL WRITER IS THE USE OF TOTALLY MEANINGLESS (AND
USUALLY POMPOUS) PHRASES.
"I would like to point out that Chester v. Morris was overruled"
"I would argue that Chester v. Morris is not applicable."
"It should be noted that Chester v. Morris was decided before the statute was amended."
What does writing clearly and concisely mean? Writing clearly and concisely means choosing your words
deliberately and precisely, constructing your sentences carefully to eliminate deadwood, and using grammar properly. By
writing clearly and concisely, you will get straight to your point in a way your audience can easily comprehend.
Why should I write clearly and concisely? To succeed in your communication, you need to keep your audience’s
attention, and your audience needs to read through documents effortlessly and with understanding. If your writing is difficult
to follow, your readers may lose interest (and patience).