Paragraphs, Sentences, and Style

The final step in the writing process is editing. Good editing requires the document as
if you have never seen it before. Try to arrive at the editing stage with enough time to
put the document down for a day or at least 101 several hours. Then read as if you were
a complete stranger to the document. Use the following suggestions as part of your
editing process.
Paragraphing

Each paragraph should have a topic or a thesis sentence, which generally appears as
the first sentence of the paragraph. The paragraph should be limited to information
about that topic or thesis, and it should fit smoothly and logically between its neighbors.
.

These paragraphing principles are crucial in legal writing. They are more than just
principles of writing style; they are important to the substance of your analysis. Proper
paragraphing will improve the substance of your analysis by helping you flesh out and
order your thoughts, make appropriate decisions about the depth of your analysis for
each point, and think of new points you want to include.
Thesis Sentence vs Topic Sentence
When possible, use a thesis sentence rather than a topic sentence. A topic sentence
identifies the topic the paragraph will discuss, but that is all it does.
A paragraph centered on a topic sentence is better than a paragraph with out either
kind of lead sentence, but it is apt to discuss the topic without ever making a point.

A thesis sentence, however, asserts a position. A paragraph centered on a thesis

sentence will support or explain this position. It will focus on the material that “proves"
the assertion in the thesis sentence.! Often the thesis is the rule itsell, a part of the rule,
or a point about how the rule functions. Compare the following paragraphs.
A paragraph or even several paragraphs can refer to the thesis sentence of the prior
paragraph by using a clear relational word or phrase (for example, "similarly") or when
the context otherwise clearly communicates that the point of the subsequent paragraph
is to provide additional evidence for the prior paragraph's thesis sentence.

An example as to how a plain mere report of a scene as compared with narrative with
analysis differs in conveying the message can be gleamed in the case cited below:

“Cantwell v. Denton dealt with the issue of when a choice is sufficiently

voluntary to constitute assumption of the risk. In that case, the defendant
negligently caused a fire in an apartment building, and a father entered the
burning building to save his child. The court held that the father's action was
not sufficiently voluntary to constitute assumption of the risk.
A choice is not sufficiently voluntary to constitute assumption of the risk if
the defendant's negligence has forced the plaintiff to choose between the
threatened harm and another equal or greater harm. In Cantwell, the
 defendant had negligently caused a fire in an apartment building. A father
had to choose between entering the burning building and standing by while
his child's life was in danger. The court held that standing by while the child
was in danger would have been an equal or greater harm. Under such
circumstances, the court held, the choice to subject one's self to danger is
not "voluntary" in the sense necessary to constitute assumption of the risk.
“

The way how the case was presented above is a perfect way of proving a point using
thesis sentences. It is shows the stand as to why the father of the child did not open
himself from committing voluntary risk. Thus, the discipline of using thesis sentences
leads you to a more thorough and complete analysis because it helps you notice
additional points you had not yet seen.
Certain Points in making coherent paragraph using thesis sentences:
1. Keep the paragraph's content within its thesis.
Limiting the paragraph's content to information about the paragraph's thesis will help
you find the gaps in your reasoning and in the "proof" you have found in the authorities.
If you limit the paragraph to material that supports the thesis, you will notice if you
have little or no support for that thesis. You will know when you need to go back to the
authorities in search of stronger support.
2. Keep your paragraphs moderately short.
Limit paragraphs to one-third to one-half of a double-spaced page. Keeping your
paragraph short will keep you focused on the thesis. A long paragraph often has one of
these two problems: (1) it has wandered from its thesis, or (2) the thesis is too big to be
covered without dividing it into subpoints. A large thesis generally produces a large
paragraph that mixes information about the subpoints more or less randomly. It also
results in a discussion that is not sufficiently fleshed cut. The best way to avoid these
two problems is to keep your paragraph lengths at or below a half-page, double-spaced.
3. Use a transitional word, phrase, or sentence each time you move into a new
point.
Being explicit about the relationships between the theses of suceeding paragraphs will
help you insure that your reasoning.
Below is a list of commonly used transitions:
Addition
also Not only then
furthermore In fact in addition
Sequence
first Next
second Finally
Comparison
Both In Comparison
Likewise
Contrast
but On the other hand despite
while Still nevertheless
instead nothwitstanding however
in contrast even so though
Illustration
for instance for example specifically
to illustrate in particular
Result
accordingly consequently as a result
therfore since thus
because
Summary
Accordingly thus
in summary therefore
Emphasis
above all
more important
chiefly
STRATEGIES FOR USING PARAGRAPHING TO IMPROVE YOUR ANALYSIS
1. Check your thesis sentences and paragraphs.
For each paragraph, first ask yourself what your point is. Identify your thesis sentence,
and underline it on your draft. Then identify the paragraph(s) that support that thesis,
and be sure you know how all of the other material in that paragraph pertains to that
point. Now evaluate the strength of your analysis of that point by evaluating the strength
of the supporting paragraph(s). This kind of point-by-point evaluation of the building
blocks can dramatically improve your analysis. It helps you identify weak spots, leaps
of logic, and misuse of sources.
2.Check your paragraph length.

Use the yardstick of a maximum length of about one half of a double-spaced page. For
those paragraphs that run longer, ask yourself wether your paragraph's thesis has
subpoints you should separate. Often, as you separate these subpoints of the analysis
and treat them in separate paragraphs, you will find that the subpoints deserve more
analysis than you had originally thought. As a matter of fact, sometimes you will find
whole new issues you had overlooked.
3. Check your transitions.
identify each transition to a new point, and ask yourself how the new point is connected
to the former point. Be sure that each transition is clearly communicated.
4.Read all of the underlined thesis sentences in order.
They should provide a logically ordered summary of your reasoning, point by point.
CHOOSE STRONG SUBJECTS AND VERBS
One of the characteristics of good style is the predominance of strong subjects There are
some of the most effective techniques for finding and using stronger subjects and verbs.
Active Voice
Much legal writing is filled with unnecessary passive verb. Learn to spot them, evaluate
whether they serve a purpose not. You can recognize passive verbs by checking Ask
yourself whether the subject performed the action described by the verb. If it did, then
you have used a verb in the active was acted upon, you have found a passive-voiced.
Example
Active Ms. Watson signed a covenant-not-to-compete
Passive A covenant-not-to-compete was signed by Ms. Watson.
Note:The subject of the first sentence is Ms. Watson. Did she do what the verb
describes? Did she "sign"? Yes she did, and therefore you know that the first sentence
uses the active voice. However, the subject of second sentence is the covenant. Did the
covenant sign? Of course not. The covenant was acted upon; the signing happened to
the covenant. Therefore, you second sentence uses the passive voice.
Why are sentences overloaded with passive verbs undesirable?
1.First, writing in the passive voice requires more words. You can see this on a small
scale in the example above, and the effect can compound in a sentence with mom than
one passive verb.
Passive It was insisted by Carrolton that the Covenant had been breached by Ms.
Watson.
Active Carrolton insisted that Ms. Watson had breached the covenant.
Locate the passive verbs in the first sentence, which contains fourteen words. Notice
that the second sentence contains only nine words, a reduction of 36 percent.
2.Second, writing in the passive voice causes lack of clarity. Sentences in the passive
voice often omit altogether the identity of the actor; yet the actor's identity is usually
important. These versions of our earlier examples reflect this problem of ambiguity:
A covenant-not-to-compete was signed. [Who signed?]
It was insisted that the covenant had [Who insisted? Who been breached?]

3. Third, writing in the passive voice is less forceful. A sentence in the active voice drives
forward in a straight line; the subject "does" the action to the object. But a sentence in
the passive voice moves in reverse, backing in stops and starts toward the subject. Like
a car, a sentence driving ahead moves more smoothly and forcefully than a sentence in
reverse.

Although writing in the active voice is generally preferable, an occasional passive-voiced

verb can serve a particular function. For instance, a passive verb can sometimes
eliminate the need for using a masculine noun or pro noun, as section V explains. In
persuasive writing, a number of strategic considerations might call for a passive verb.
Also, sometimes the identity of the actor is not important, and a passive verb can
appropriately focus the attention on the object of the action. In court documents, a
passive verb can allow you to avoid references to yourself or your firm. And sometimes
using a passive verb can allow you to begin the sentence with a smooth transition from
earlier material.

However, most legal writing, including the case law you spend so much time reading,
relies far too much on verbs in the passive voice. Because so much of what you are
reading everyday is infected with passivitis, you will have to struggle against developing
the habit yourself.
Nominalizations
The second technique for focusing on strong subjects and verbs is avoiding
nominalizations.
Nominalizations are nouns that began life as a verb and should have been content with
their lot in life. When such a verb aspires to upward social mobility, it finds that it needs
a crowd around it. Suddenly, your sentence has several more words than it used to.
No nominalization.
The sellers decided to accept the buyer's offer.
One nominalization
The sellers made a decision to accept the buyer's offer.
If your sentence contains several nominalizations, the party ran get really out of hand.
No nominalizations
 The sellers decided to accept the buyer's offer, so they authorized their broker to
announce their decision.
Three nominalizations

The sellers made a decision to accept the buyer's offer, so they issued an
authorization to their broker to make an announcement of their decision.

Wordiness is not the only problem nominalizations. Sentences using nominalizations

are both weaker and less clear than sentences in which the verbs stay where they
belong. Because nominalizations are still verbs at heart, they do a poor job of being
nouns; they are by nature more vague than “real” nouns. Worse yet, when the hole left
by the departed verb is filled, the sub stitute verb is usually weaker than the departed
verb. These consequences combine to weaken the sentence and obscure the meaning.
Throat-Clearing

Another major obstacle to focusing on strong subjects and verbs is the habit of "throat-
clearing" using introductory phrases that communicate little more than "I'm getting
ready to say something here." In judicial opinions and practitioner writing, you will
notice an abundance of throat-clearing. Here are some examples:
It is interesting to note that...
It is important to remember that...
It seems that...