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1.

ACT 1

There's a curtain on which hangs a large


banner which reads: SOMETHING ROTTEN!
A minstrel strolls onto the stage in
front of the curtain, strums his lute:
MINSTREL
WAR OF THE ROSES, CHAUCER'S TALES
THE BRUTAL FEUDAL SYSTEM
HOLY CRUSADES, BUBONIC PLAGUE
CAN'T SAY THAT WE'VE REALLY MISSED 'EM
SO DARK AND BARBARIC, SO DULL AND MUNDANE
THAT WAS SO MIDDLE AGES
THAT WAS SO CHARLEMAGNE
Curtain opens to reveal...
SCENE 1: A SOUTH LONDON STREET (IN 1595)

Tudor buildings, a theater front and


TOWNSPEOPLE.
MINSTREL
WELCOME TO THE RENAISSANCE
WITH POETS PAINTERS AND BON VIVANTS
AND MERRY MINSTRELS
WHO STROLL THE STREETS OF LONDON
A STRUMMIN' THEIR LUTES
2 MEN
IN PUFFY PANTS AND POINTY LEATHER BOOTS!
The townspeople join in.
MINSTREL (AND TOWNSPEOPLE)
WELCOME TO THE RENAISSANCE
WHERE WE OOH AND AHH YOU WITH AMBIANCE
WE'RE SO PROGRESSIVE
THE LATEST AND THE GREATEST
WE BRING IT TO YOU - WITH MUCH ADO
WELCOME TO THE RENAISSANCE
WHERE EVERYTHING IS NEW
MEN
HERE WE'VE MADE ADVANCES IN THE SCIENCES
They hold up very old scientific;
sextant, telescope, etc.
WOMEN
WE HAVE THE LATEST GADGETS AND APPLIANCES
They hold up a bellows, a cauldron, a
washboard, a pewter mug, etc.