37

She Wants the

“Killer” in You
Among many other qualities, a woman wants
the “killer” in her man. She is turned off if her
man is afraid and wants her to kill the cockroach
or the mouse while he stands on a chair and
watches. She is turned off if her man wants her to
get out of bed in order to check out the strange
sounds in the house to find out if a burglar
made the noise. Fearlessness, or the capacity to
transcend the fear of death for the sake of love, is a
quintessential form of the ultimate masculine gift.

A lthough your woman doesn’t want you to be a killer, she is turned

on by your capacity to kill. And, she is turned off by your lack of
this capacity. For instance, imagine that a big cockroach crawls into the
living room. You jump on the couch and scream to your woman, “Kill it,
please, kill it!” She would probably not be turned on.
Or, imagine that you are in bed with your woman at night. You hear
some strange noises downstairs in the kitchen. You are afraid. So, you ask
your woman to go down and check it out. She is not going to become
excited by your masculine valiancy.
In both of these cases, your woman will feel your fear. She doesn’t want
you to be a killer, but she does want to feel that you are capable of facing
death, if necessary. In fact, she wants to feel you are capable of killing, if

134 THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN

necessary. If an insane maniac broke into your home and was about to mur-
der your children, your woman would not be particularly happy if you had
the opportunity to do something about it but instead you said, “Well, OK,
Mr. Maniac, whatever you want to do is fine with me.”
The dark masculine energy of the warrior, the one who could face death
and kill when necessary, is an essential part of you. Today’s current fashion
is to suppress both the dark masculine and the dark feminine, so we have
a large population of wimpy men and polite women. But beneath the nice
veneer of most women lies the wrathful goddess who would chop the head
off of every mediocre “new age” man. And beneath the patient smile of
most men lies the warrior of love who would ravish his woman into bliss
rather than listen to her chat in pointless emotional circles.
But the dark masculine energy has been suppressed so thoroughly these
days that the ordinary man would prefer to paste a smile on his bored face,
rather than penetrate his woman’s tension with uncompromising love. And
he’s just as cautious about disrupting his own well-planned life of comfort
and security in order to penetrate his own fear of death.
Although she may resist it at first, your woman, if she has a feminine
sexual essence, wants to feel your fearlessness. She wants to feel your ca-
pacity to face her closure, anger, and tension, without trying to minimize
her feminine force. She wants to feel your persistence in loving, so that
her fury cannot turn you away. She wants to feel your capacity to stand
strong in your own desires and ravish her because you love her, unafraid
of her dark energy.
She wants to feel this dark masculine capacity not simply because she
wants to be ravished, but because it is a sign of your overall capacity to face
and know death, your own and others’. And it is this capacity that makes
you trustable as a man, both as a human warrior and as a spiritual warrior.
The knowledge of death makes you humble and courageous. The knowl-
edge of death strips the armor from your heart and allows the knowledge
of love. This knowledge of death and love is your doorway through your

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 own fears, through your own clinging to security, and into the unknowable
mystery that lies beyond your little cell of self-protected importance.
Your woman’s desire for your dark side, in love, is a gift to you. By
honoring her desire through the cultivation of your dark and fearless
loving, your need for self-protection will decrease, and every moment
will stand more naked, vulnerable, and true, released of your need for
consolation and false self-assurance. Rather than smiling at your present
experience from behind a curtain of safety, minimizing your participa-
tion with the always life-threatening potential of the moment, you will
lovingly surrender your position and ravish the moment, penetrate to its
core, and find yourself identical to it. Feeling through and through and
through is your only freedom.
The “killer” your woman wants is the one who knows that life is a pro-
cess of dying through to that which cannot be lost. Only in this sacrifice
of fear can your heart remain unguarded. Facing the potential burglar at
night is only a sign to your woman that you are willing to lose everything
into love. ¬

136 THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN