A Handbook to greater Confidence and Security

Being Happy

(Andrew Matthew /Media Masters/2000/136Pages/$14.95)

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 Being Happy
A Handbook to greater
Confidence and Security
The Big Idea
Every person’s ultimate quest in life is to be happy. But more often than not, people
struggle finding contentment, peace and happiness in life. This highly motivational
book by Andrew Matthews is written to help both young and old to find the path to bliss.

This book entitled Being Happy is about the daily experiences in life and how you can
change your attitude towards these to become happy. This book talks about
forgiveness, confidence, success, humor and many more. This teaches you how to
deal with the daily problems that you face and how you can address them without
spoiling the rest of your day.

More importantly, Being Happy will help you embrace yourself with respect and love that
you deserve. This will help you understand yourself better. And eventually helps you
live life to the fullest.

About the Author

An international speaker, best-selling author and award winning cartoonist, Andrew
Matthews makes complex issues simple.

The author of Being happy!, Follow Your Heard and Being a Happy Teenager, Andrew
Matthews is published in 29 languages in 60 conturies and has Andrew has appeared
on over 3000 radio and television programmes on 4 continents.

Andrew Matthews has presented seminars and keynote speeches across Australia,
Asia, Europe and North America to over 1,000,000 people.He clients include Shell,
Coca-Cola, McDonalds, the Singapore Police Academy, Johnson & Johnson, the Royal
Australian Navy, Toshiba, Kodak and Goodyear.

Drawing lighting-fast cartoons as he speaks, Andrew’s humorous and entertaining

presentations on “attitude” and “being happy” provide audiences with the tools and
inspiration to livehappierlives.

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 Chapter 1: Patterns

Patterns
The human mind can be compared to an iceberg. The tip that is visible is
the conscious part of the brain, while the bigger part that you don’t actually
see is the subconscious. The subconscious is the quiet part of the brain
that records most of your thoughts and also influences your actions. More
often than not, the things that you experience in life, specially the behavior
that keeps on coming back, are caused by the subconscious mind.

The habits that you form, be it positive or negative, are patterns in life that
you got accustomed to doing or experiencing. Some of these patterns that
people get hooked with are:

 Drama Pattern. This is the it-is-not-right-to-be-okay

pattern. When things go smoothly, the subconscious tells you that
this is not right then something dramatic emerges.

 Accident Pattern. Some people simply have a way of getting into any
form of accident whenever there is a chance.

 Sickness Pattern. There are people who have unintentionally

scheduled sickness, like monthly flu or Monday headaches.

 Mess Patterns. Some people just can’t keep anything in order, they are
inclined to being messy all the time.

 Broke Patterns. No matter how much someone makes, there are

those who are just always out of money.

 Job Change Patterns. There are those who just can’t stay in a single
job for a long time.

Life patterns are influenced by the environment that you have been
introduced to. From birth, you already form behavioral patterns—these are

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persistent and tenacious. Your childhood experiences, the relationships
that you form with your parents and the situations in your respective families
that you were exposed to are factors that have influenced and determined
the patterns that you have acquired.

Changing patterns may be difficult. This will always be challenged by

resistance. But it is not impossible. The first step is to recognize this
recurring behavior that you wish to change. Accept it and believe that you are
not stuck with it forever. Simply start talking positively about
yourself. Always reassure yourself that you can do better and can change
your ways. Sooner enough, you will see yourself creating the new
happiness pattern.

Self-Image
Your self-image is the blueprint of your success. It determines how you will
mix with the world and how much you will accomplish in life. You are what
you believe you are. You become what you see yourself becoming.

If you want to see vast favorable results happening in your life, you better
change the way you perceive and talk about yourself. Though changing
your self image is totally difficult, the following are things that you can do to
help yourself start over:

 Accept compliments. Always say thank you or words to that effect.

 Give compliments. One of the easiest ways to feel good about yourself
is to recognize the beauty in others.

 Always speak well of yourself. If you have nothing good to say about
yourself, keep your mouth shut.

 Praise yourself. When you do something right, give yourself a pat in

the back. Acknowledge your value.

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  Separate your behavior from yourself. Realize that your behavior is
not connected to your self worth.

 Treat your body well. It is the only one you got. Exercise and nourish it
well.

 Let people know how you expect to be treated. Don’t allow negative
behavior.

 Get around good people. Choose the people who can influence you
positively.

 Work at having pleasure without guilt. Learn to sincerely enjoy

everything that you do.

 Use affirmations. Talk positively to others and to yourself.

 Nourish your soul. Read books which give you ideas and inspiration.

 Always picture your mind how you want to be and not who you are. You
will then necessarily gravitate toward your dominant thoughts.

Health
It is definitely fascinating how your subconscious mind shapes your
health. Every single thought you have affects your body chemistry in
seconds. Some of the belief systems or your expectations can make you
sick. Every repressed feeling or emotion can definitely affect how well your
bodily function.

As Matthews states it, “Your mind is the architect of your body and your body
is the reflection of thoughts.” So better think of happy thoughts and start
living a healthy and wonderful life.

Pain
While health is something that you can work on about yourself, pain is

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something that you cannot avoid—it is inevitable. You will experience
pain—whether you like it or not. It is not something that you can just run
away from or assign to yourself or others.

When you experience pain, learn to approach it positively. Pain is simply a

hint for you to take a different direction, change your approach to things and
start to see things differently. Don’t keep doing things that keep you getting
hurt. More importantly, don’t allow this experience to destroy the way you
see yourself.

Chapter 2: Living in the Now

Live, Now!
Now is what determines your happiness. The measure of your peace of
mind is determined by how well you can focus and able to live at the present
moment. Regardless of what happened yesterday or what will happen
tomorrow, now is where you are, learn to live it and be content with it. This
is the key to your happiness.

Learning to live in your “now” helps you ward your mind of fear, for fear is the
concern of what might happen next. Always remember, the present
moment is the only time you have so don’t waste it. Live your life at the
present moment and let go of the concerns of the future.

If you are waiting for things, try to do something else. Don’t waste your time
just sitting around and missing the great opportunities just because you are
too hooked up with some results that you are not even certain of. Detach
yourself from the end result. Remember, letting go of the situation
accelerates results.

Happiness
Being happy is a choice you make. It is a decision that yourself makes. As

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Abaraham Lincoln once said, “Most people are about as happy as they make
up their mind to be.”

Some people try to change the world, the environment or the situation that
they are in just to be happy and content. But the key to happiness is on how
you see things, how well you accept them, and how you learn to see the
beauty in them. Sometimes it is not the things around you that you need to
change in order to be happy. Sometimes you just need to change yourself.

Humor
People have said for years that “laughter is the best medicine.” This
timeless adage is biologically and psychology true. When you laugh, your
brain releases endorphins which give you a natural high giving your
respiratory system a workout the same as jogging. Laughter, therefore,
relieves pain.

Learn to laugh at difficulties as soon as they happen. As Matthews puts it,

“Happy people choose to avoid waiting too long to see the funny side of their
disappointments.” Try to put humor in your life and start to take it seriously.

Chapter 3: Your Mind

Toward the Direction of your Dominant Thoughts

Whether you like to accept it or not, the truth about your thinking is that you
gravitate towards the direction of your dominant thoughts. You move
toward what you think. You become what you think you are. Even if you are
thinking of something that you don’t want, you will most likely move towards
getting it. Your mind does not work and will not work on the reverse of an
idea.

Therefore, watch what you think. Think positively and implant in your
subconscious only the things that you like and the things that make you
happy. Visualize yourself already achieving your goals. You will definitely
move towards achieving them.

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The Law of Attraction
Your mind is like a magnet. It attracts whatever you think about, whether
positive or negative. As one of the authors of creative thinking once put it,
“We always attract in our lives whatever we think about the most, believe in
most strongly, expect on the deepest levels, and/or imagine most vividly.”

The same is true with fear. You will certainly attract that fear that usually
occupies your mind. When you fear of losing something, you already put
yourself in the position of actually losing it.

This same law applies to relationships. When you fear of losing that
someone you love, you actually put yourself in jeopardy of losing the one you
love. So the rule is: concentrate and enjoy what you have and don’t dwell
on the possibility of losing what you have.

The Power of Words

As your thoughts affect your circumstances, so do the words that you say.
Simply, what you say is what you get. Therefore it is important that you
practice positive affirmations about yourself, your goals, and the things you
love to have.

For better understanding, Matthews illustrates the vicious triangle: Our

words affect how we think and how we feel. What we think affects what we
say and how we feel. How we feel influences what we say and how we think.

Chapter 4: Goals

Goals
Goals are what keep you going in life. They give you direction, hope and
deeper meaning of existence. Goals are what make you see how well you
progress, or how badly you are behind.

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Goals keep you guided in life, thus it is important to have at least one. It
does not matter how big or simple your goal is, what matters most is that you
have one. It will definitely not hurt if you keep many goals in life. Just be
sure to write them down. This helps you keep on track.

Risk
Naturally, people always take risks. Be it in daily living, careers or
relationships,
there are always risks involved. You also risk something even in achieving
goals.

There is always a risk involved in your every attempt to achieve your goal.
Nature simply puts it that in order for you to gain something, you need to risk
something. So don’t be afraid to take risks. Let down your guard
sometimes
and be ready to welcome new things.

Persistence
In achieving your goals, the name of the game is always
persistence. Persistence is what defines a mediocre from an excellent
person. This defines also the difference between failure and success.

Persistence is the secret to success. Successful people believe it as the

main ingredient to achieving anything. Thus, it is important to learn the art
of persistence. This will take you a long way. Don’t simply quit. Work hard
until you achieve your goals.

Chapter 5: Learning From Nature

The Law of Nature

There are laws and principles that govern the universe which consequently
affect people’s lives. Take for example the law of gravity. When you let go
of a bag of potatoes in your hand, it will naturally drop. There are also the
laws that govern the stars, moons and planets that affect the cycle, tides and
change of seasons.

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We are bound by the same laws that govern the universe. We are all part of
the natural cycle and the changes of the seasons. Thus it is important that
we keep balance as the rest of nature do. We need to take time to grow and
heal, to rest and recuperate just like all the other living things.

 Taking Time. Just as the acorn tree takes its time to be a full grown tree,
so does your confidence building. Things just don’t happen
overnight.

 Cycles. As sure as the winter flows to spring, so must your life flow
from bad times to easy times. Just always remember, the tide always
turn.

 Rest. Don’t think of yourself as indispensable. You need rest just as

much as soils do.

Relax and Let go (go with the flow)

One character that truly defines living in the moment is Winnie the Pooh. He
has this easy, accepting and uncomplicated philosophy in life. He doesn’t
try that hard, he just is.

Hoof writes in his book the “Tao of Pooh”: “When we learn to work with our
own Inner Nature, and with the natural laws operating around us, we reach
the level of Wu Wei. Then we work in the natural order of things and operate
on the principle of minimal effort. Since the natural world follows that
principle, it does not make mistakes. Mistakes are made—or imagined—by
Man, the creature with the overloaded Brain who separates himself from the
supporting network of manual laws by interfering and trying too hard.”

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Learning to let go is your ultimate key to happiness. If you let go of the
results, you free yourself of the burdens and worries of what will be. You then
ultimately learn to savor the “now” and live in your present moment.

Once you learn to let go, you put yourself in a position to greater
power. People who work unattached to the concern of how much they will
make but are just driven by their love for their work turn out to earn bigger
than others. People who are least concerned about making an impression
are usually free of depression.

Once you have done the work, take time to relax and let nature takes its
course. Simply learn to let go and go with the flow. Take time out.

In the same way, it is important to learn the art of releasing. Let go of the
things that you don’t want or the things that do not make you happy. Don’t
hold on tight to the people around you. Accept that people come and
go. Be open to new things. This is how nature does it. Always be ready for
change.

Chapter 6: Today is Important

What you are today is the product of what you have done years ago. And
what you do today will influence what you will experience in the next twenty
years or so. Life just doesn’t happen overnight. It is a building
process. Your effort today will create your tomorrow’s results.

You may go on with being casual and careless for a while today, but this will
surely catch up with you in the future. The decisions that you make today,
the practices that you do, the way you spend your money, and every little
thing will soon affect yourself and the way you live.
The wisdom here: now is always the time to start—regardless of wherever
you are or what you have already done in life. Remember that the effort that
you expend today does make the difference.

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* * *

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