Fuller 1

Kristi Fuller
Professor Rury
ENGL-1301-NT9-19/FA
10/16/2019
ADHD, My Superpower and My Kryptonite

Throughout the course of my life, I have struggled to find my place among

the vast realm of a society inundated with convergent thinkers. I have often felt

restricted by the reality that those around me would rather celebrate the subpar

standards of orthodox conformity, than to admit the inadequacies of a broken

system that refuses to understand and validate the brilliant complexity of

individuals who are divergently wired. As a child, I was often subjected to those

types of biases as a result of being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity

Disorder (ADHD). Regardless of the dark shadows many have attempted to cast

over my future as a result of humanities misinformed predisposition of my

“symptoms” labeled as undesirable consequences of a learning disability, I still

defiantly refuse to accept such an ill-fated existence. I desperately desire to prove

that those of us who “suffer” from ADHD, aren’t “suffering” as a result of a

“disability”; we suffer because of the dismissive classifications inaccurately

branding our greatest strengths, like creativity, spontaneity, and energetic zeal, as

symptoms rather than blessings. For our society to begin reversing the damages

caused by their misguided attempt to “fix” those of us who process reality

differently, they must validate the good with the bad, thus, initiating a more
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universal positive dialog that seeks to validate the strengths of people, rather than

isolate and brand that which we don’t understand.

While I may never be able to fully conceptualize how the socially accepted

can categorize an entire group of people based on how they process information, I

can concur that the full totality of ADHD is so multifaceted, varying case by case,

that it is no wonder outsiders can’t accurately formulate a conclusive synopsis.

One characteristic of having ADHD, that many people are unaware of, is the level

of creativity that we innately possess. From the outside looking in, our creativity

may take the form of perfectionism, or obsessive-compulsive disorder; however,

these are only “symptoms” displayed by many of us with ADHD who have been

damaged by the dismissing trauma society has inadvertently placed on us.

Because our minds wander and drift in and out of different thought patterns, not

separated by the normal facets of time such is the case for more linear thinkers, we

are able to construct different ideas plucked straight out of the bleak obscurity from

un-forged territories, elegantly repurposing thoughts while utilizing our crafty

ingenuity. This quality has been a huge benefit to me for as long as I can

remember, but because of my anxieties relating to failure, exposure, and

inadequacies, many people are completely unaware that I harbor such talents.

Regrettably, for a moment of my life, I allowed the flawed interpretations of

my diagnosis to dictate my behaviors. Impulsivity is generally frowned upon. But

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regardless of how often I would try and force myself to walk in line, narrowly

down the well-constructed, pre-planned path as instructed for “my protection,” I

would somehow innocently find myself chasing that proverbial white rabbit down

an endless blackhole, seeking out an adventure. As I am sure you can guess, I

always would end up at the receiving end of a long-winded lecture demanding to

know, “What were you thinking?” Oddly enough, I could never formulate a

response, because honestly, I hadn’t a clue what I was thinking in that moment;

that “moment” had already passed. From the many times of getting in trouble,

because of my impulsive nature, I finally had determined, like the rest of society,

that impulsivity would subsequently be a detriment to my future. It wasn’t until I

became an adult, that I began to see this characteristic as a benefit to my life. There

are many times in our lives where we are challenged to set aside logic to take

certain risks for the potential of obtaining something great. In situations like these,

I thrive; as opposed to someone who would never accept any kind of offer without

some sort of safety net in place first. While it’s only fair to still admit that

impulsivity has caused my journey to be more tumultuous than most, I still

celebrate it as a blessing, because ultimately it has given me an exceptional ability

to problem-solve, think under pressure and initiate solutions quickly. Now looking

back at the past, seeing that crying little girl being lectured for the thousandth time

for not following the route designated for her, I wish I could hold her face in my
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hands and give her a glimpse of how her once shunned vivacious spontaneity will

evolve over time, casting out all her self-doubt as she sees how eventually the good

will outweigh the bad.

As a child of the late 80’s and early 90’s, my explosive energetic zeal was

unquestionably not revered as a positive attribute; especially during a time when

kids were supposed to be seen and not heard. Well, I didn’t go “unheard,” ever!

Even though this behavior was starkly condemned by all authoritative persons over

me, I have learned to appreciate my high levels of energetic drive. Other people

may view my hyperactivity as a negative trait because of my tendency to over talk

others, or because of my inability to sit still for long periods of time; however the

talents I hold because of hyperactivity that most fail to validate are, my ability to

persevere when others can’t, my capacity to calmly juggle multiple things at one

time in the midst of adversity, and the tenacity to endure moments that may require

a daunting demand for hyper focus! I also feel incredibly fortunate to be blessed

with the ability to handle chaotic situations with an eerie sense of calm; while

others around me may not be able to problem solve in those highly stressful

situations, but for me, that’s technically my “normal” wave length used for data

processing.

Although as a child, I was unfortunately misunderstood and categorized as

an individual with behavioral issues relating to ADHD, I was still able to somehow
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turn off the external dialog that was beginning to warp my own internal discourse

and learned to embrace the good qualities that resided just beneath the surface of a

dismal diagnosis. When I finally was able to release the skewed depictions of my

own reality, I felt an incredible freeing liberation come over me. My hope for

future generations, is that they will learn from the mistakes of the past, and rather

than continuing the negative dialog stigmatizing those who have been diagnosed

with ADHD, they begin embracing the creative individuality, the unrestricted

spontaneous spirits and the energetic drives, of individuals that are different than

the majority.