ABOUT THE BOOK

Details

 Title - You Can Win

 Author - Shiv Khera

What Kind of Book

 This book is a construction manual for a

success.

 It is a Cook Book

INTRODUCTION

The search for meaning in human existence and the why and how of human

behaviour continues for all of us when interacting with people. Very often

the crux of a successful working environment is successful human

relationships. “Born to Win” endeavours to understand people and help

them modify behaviour/personality problems usually attributed to heredity

and environment. Based on transactional analysis, it gives people a rational

method of analyzing and understanding behaviour while inputs of gestalt

therapy give people a useful method for discovering the fragmented parts of

their personality, integrating them and developing a core of self confidence.

This book can be used as a guide and reference for those interested in

enriching their lives and their interpersonal relations and realize, most

importantly, that — “You were born to win”.

ABOUT AUTHOR

“Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently”

Who is not familiar with Shiv Khera’s ever-inspiring and motivating quote?

Shiv Khera is an educator, business consultant, and a renowned and

sought-after speaker. He endeavors to encourage and inform people,

helping them realize their true potential and has taken his dynamic message

around the world.

Shiv Khera comes from a family of businessmen that used to own coal

mines in Dhanbad in Jharkhand. But due to the nationalization of coal

mines, his grand father lost the business and Shiv left India to start life over.

He landed in the USA and did various things from washing cars to selling

life insurance. His struggling life took a winning direction when he attended

a lecture by Norman Vincent Peale. The motivational teachings of Norman

Vincent changed his life forever and he moved forward on his success path.

With 25 years of extensive research and understanding to his credit Shiv

has helped people on the path of personal growth and achievement. Over

20,000 people have attended and benefited by his three-day dynamic

workshops internationally and around one million people have heard him as

a Keynote Speaker.

Shiv Khera instituted Qualified Learning Systems, an initiative to incorporate

his years of experience as a motivator and to develop a core program

known as the Blueprint for Success (BPS). This program motivates people

to identify their true potential and achieve success both in their personal and
professional spheres of life. He has developed several such programs that

cater to different levels of professional hierarchy. His programs, besides

India, are quite popular in Singapore and the USA.

He has authored several bestsellers that have an enthusiastic reader base

not only in the country but worldwide. His international best seller, “You Can

Win”, was his first book, which came out in 1998 and sold over a million

copies worldwide in 8 languages. His second book “Living with Honor” hit

the stands in August 2003, which again pleased million book lovers across

the world. Then within a period of six months in February 2004, his third

book “Freedom Is Not Free” was on the stands. Though this book plunged

into the controversy of plagiarism, it too turned into a best seller.

His brilliance soon began to be acknowledged worldwide. He has been

recognized as a “Louis Marchesi Fellow” by the Round Table Foundation,

an honor he shares with famous humanitarians like Mother Teresa. Lions

Club International has honored him with a "Lifetime Achievement Award" for

the cause of ‘Humanitarian Service to the Society’. He is also a recipient of

the Rotary Club’s "Centennial Vocational Award for Excellence."

Shiv Khera always strived to help India and its people as well. Inspired by

his attachment to social causes, he fought parliamentary elections but

unfortunately could not make it to the parliament. Then, he founded a trust

called “Country First Foundation” in order to serve his country. The vision of

this trust is “Respect and Dignity for every Indian" and the mission is “to

ensure freedom through education and justice”.

Shiv Khera is trying to establish the pride of our country in international

forums. His objective is to boost the morale of the common Indian and to

eradicate social injustice through education. Every true Indian should come

forward to join his Country First Movement and contribute to the nation’s

development.

MISSION OF THE BOOK

It wants to make you to create an Action Plan for the rest of your life.

Action Plan

 What you want to achieve

 How you expect to achieve it

 When you plan to achieve it

The whole book is divided into 8 chapters. I will describe that briefly as

described in the book.

1. Importance of Attitude

2. Success

3. Motivation

4. Self Esteem

5. Interpersonal skills

6. Subconscious Mind & Habits

7. Goal setting

8. Value and visions

AUTHOR’S PERCEPTIONS

Business owners were asked:

“If there was one thing that you would like to see change, that would make

your organisation more productive, what would it be?”

They all said that

85% of the time a person gets a promotion at work due to ATTITUDE.

15% of the time a person gets a promotion at work due to WHAT THEY.

Winners don’t do different things – they do things differently!

Winning is not everything, it is the only thing!

When a hammer hits glass it shatters, when it hits steel it forges it.”

~Russian saying.

The same implement can cause 2 different reactions.

Are YOU Glass or are YOU Steel?

“Life is a grindstone – either it can polish you up, or it could grind you down

– it depends what you are made of!”

THERE ARE 3 KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

 Those who make things happen

 Those who watch things happen.

 Those who wonder what happened.

What category are YOU in?

Always put in a little bit extra, even when it hurts.

Winners don’t do different things – they do things differently!

Horse racing.

Is the winning horse 10 times faster than the horse that comes 2nd?

Probably NOT!

We don’t have to be 10 times smarter than our competitors.

All we need is the edge.

LOSERS COUNT THE DAYS.

WINNERS MAKE THE DAYS COUNT.

Winners Vs Losers

Winners see an answer for every problem

Losers sees problem for every answer.

Winners say “It may be difficult but it is possible”

Losers say “It may be possible but it is TOO difficult”.

 Winners say, “I must do something”

Losers say, “Something must be done”.

Winners see possibilities

Losers see problems.

Winners see the gain.

Losers see the PAIN.

TOOLS FOR CHANGE

The authors show how T.A. along with experiments derived from gestalt

therapy can be used to develop and extend a person’s “winning streak”

They believe that all have the potential to be a winner — an alive, aware,

real person. Gestalt Means “an organized whole”. Earlier analysts like Dr

Fredrick Perls perceived that many personalities lack “Wholeness” — and

are fragmented. The aim of gestalt therapy is to help people become whole

leading to confidence/self-reliance. Role - playing is part of the therapy

used.

EGO STATES

1. Parent Ego state

2. Adult Ego State

3. Child Ego State

1. PE - Inherited attitudes & behaviour patterns - expressed in prejudicial,

critical and nurturing behaviour messages which influence the Child.

2. AE - Corresponds to current reality - is organized, adaptable, intelligent -

tests reality.

3. C.E. - Contains only impulses that are natural to an infant.

Analyzing Transactions: Transactions can be classified as:

a. Complementary Transactions

b. Crossed Transactions

c. Ulterior Transactions

a. The lines of communication are open and responses are positive and

predictable.

b. Crossed Transactions - Lack of appropriate response.

c. Ulterior Transactions are common among losers.

As a tool TA can be used to ‘discover’ one’s real self, to realize how one

relates to others and be aware of the course one’s life is taking. One

reviews one’s inner discord and can choose options open to one. It serves

as a frame of reference to evaluate old behaviour patterns and determine

desirable changes.

THE NEED FOR POSITIVE STROKES

All of us need to be appreciated and reassured by our fellow beings. A

child’s primary hunger for physical touch and love emerges as a need for

recognition. Effective managers are known to be ‘in touch’ and ‘recognize’

the worth of others.

1. “Positive Stroking” helps the individual maintain his ‘I’m O.K., winner

position’. Listening - lending your ear - is one of the best strokes one can

give the other. It shows acceptance of the other’s point of view.

2. Negative stroking (and discounting): Discounting occurs when an infant’s

feelings and needs are thwarted. These negative strokes give the message

- “you are not O.K.”.

It creates losers - leading to unhappy adult human relationships.

CHANGE is not always easy. However people can LEARN new ways of

transacting.

THE ADULT EGO STATE

This state deals objectively with reality - is influenced by education and

experience. To achieve integration of personality to be able to accept or

reject parental assumptions on the basis of realities and appropriateness,

the Adult must gain knowledge of the child & parent ego states. This is part

of his/her self awareness. When your adult ego state is turned on and tuned

in, it can help you set the course of your life much more intelligently.

THE CHILD EGO STATE

Responses of a child - affection, inquisitiveness play playfulness whining,

manipulation reflect the child ego state. This develops into three discernible

parts:-

a. The natural child

b. The little professor

c. The adapted child

a. This is that part of the child ego state that is the very young, expressive

infant in each person. Self centered and pleasure loving.

b. The unschooled wisdom of the Child. The creative individual depending

on non-verbal messages, playing hunches and depending on intuition.

c. That part of the child ego that modifies the natural child’s inclinations.

Conflicts:

When a person’s Adult and Child states come into conflict, the individual

swings from compliance with parental norms and rebellion.

FEW COMMENTS

 Shiv Khera did not write any new concepts for achieving success.

 He wrote only all the prevalent ideas by many other authors in new,

fresh words writing in simpler language.

 This is for the people who have never read any success book or

foreign author book because if they have the habit of reading

success books they would feel it as a nothing new.

 But Shiv khera have taken all the essential substance from many

author and for the beginners it will be a real treat.

CONCLUSION

 Nobody wants to be a looser. Everybody wants to win. This book tells

you that ’Positive Attitude’ is the key to a successful life.

  Definitely there will be a change in your life after reading this book.

 We don’t have to be 10 times smarter than our competitor.

 All we need is the edge.

WINNERS MAKE THE DAYS COUNT.

LOSERS COUNT THE DAYS THEY.

If you want to look at the practical approach to life and be successful

in every part of your life. You must read this book.