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Peer Review Response Sheet: Interface & Design Report

Peer Reviewer’s Name: Ana Slater

Original Writer’s Name:

Category Review Comments

Overall Essay Organization and Structure: Evaluate how well-organized the draft is so far as an orderly,
distraction-free copy. What stands out here that is strong with overall structure? Be
Organization specific. What suggestions do you have for the writer to improve structure, arrangement,
and Sentence or organization?
Quality
The organization of this paper is very clear on its intention and the main idea throughout
the paper. Therefore, the part that stands out the most within the structure and
composition is the tool bar emphasis. The reader can interpret this once it read the
headings and how detailed the writing, and ideas are about this specific characteristic of
the app. Although the structure is very well organized, so that the composition flows
intentionally, I understand that it would be better to group the headings by icons of the
toolbar that seems to be the focus of the paper. For example, on the home, organize those
headings that have to do with functions of the application that are only under this icon of
the application, and so on.

Sentence Quality: Copy and paste any sentences or sections that are confusing or out of
place. Describe the weaknesses or confusion in organization that may be present.
And/or, copy and paste sentences or phrases that are especially strong and appealing.

“(1) This feature is especially nice when trying to relay information to multiple users. (3) This
feature, as many others, is very simple but also has more advanced options. (2) The user can
simply send a word message to another user of users and they have the option to reply. (4) The
more advanced options involve the user sending another user’s post into the group chat.”

- These sentences do make sense, but the idea jumps from one point to the next. Instead of
having a continuous and fluid thought process. They were copied as the original document; the
enumeration is to give an idea of an order that would make the thought process more fluid to
the readers.

“The main Mitochondria of the app is the Navigation Toolbar.” Caught my attention and eye
immediately since the term Mitochondria is a word all of us have heard throughout our student
years. Also, it’s a very appealing way to say that the toolbar is the main interaction center
between tabs.

Choppy vs. Readable Sentences: Comment on the writer’s ability to use transitional
words or phrases to promote organization and readability. (Examples: first, in addition
to, finally, for example, and aside from its intuitive design, another reason Instagram is
appealing is …) If you can find a few examples of transitional words or phrases, copy
and paste them here. What suggestions do you have?

Throughout the “Story Feature” topic, we can see how the ideas flow and there’s really
no repetition of transitional words between sentences. This changes in the heading that
follows the “Story Feature” topic. Because we can find plenty of sentences staring with
the same words. So, I would suggest like in the previous response, first, the
reorganization of the ideas within this topic and then adding transitional worlds between
the idea of the multiple user’s idea transitioning into the advance options ideas by using
“besides this feature, as many others….” Or another transitional word that defines the
transition to the next idea.

Essay Format How successfully does the writer follow traditional writing format conventions? Provide
details.

The write follows very successfully the traditional writing format conventions since it
does do anything that dictates odd details within the paper. For instance, the write opted
for centralized headings and kept that formatting for all headings through the paper, no
indentations and followed his standard for the use of indented paragraphs.

Are all paragraphs double-spaced?

Yes, all paragraphs and even the entire document is double-spaced.

Is there a title for this draft? How would you judge the quality of the essay title? Does it
need revised?

This draft in fact, is titled “Functionality and Design Layout of Instagram”. I would judge
the quality of this title as a fair quality. Since it summarizes entirely the paper’s headings
and ideas.

Is each paragraph indented from the left margin by one “Tab” button?

As mentioned in a previous response, the writer chose not to do indentations for each
paragraph. Because of this, no, no paragraph is indented from the left margin by one tab.

Does the writer include generally accepted paragraph units that consist of several
sentences relating to the same topic? Any suggestions?

Throughout the paper we can notice that each heading is followed by the idea under each
topic and the paragraphs do consist of many sentences that carry the idea under each
topic.

MLA Format: Does the author use MLA formatting for the name label on the top, left
margin? Suggestions? See the sample below:
By the previous example, the response would be partially. Since there’s no paragraph
indentation but the format of the heading and margins seem to follow the MLA
formatting.
Technical How successfully does the writer integrate distinct sections of writing in the essay with
section headings? Copy and paste a few here. Are all of the section titles detailed and
Report Goals innovative enough? Which ones are too dull or simple? (“Interface,” or “Instagram”).

Yes, the writer successfully integrates distinct sections of writing throughout the essay
with section headings. For example: Story Feature, Direct Message and Group Messages,
and Appearance. All sections have a title but, I would suggest adding some creativity in
them since the terms and title style is too technical.

Comment on the writer’s ability to provide ample descriptions of the interface and design
elements of the digital space. Where are these descriptions strong? Which areas need
improvement or strengthening?

The writer undoubtedly used the tactic to explain how to use the application to delve into
details that have to do with the design of the platform. The descriptions are strong where
he explains how a user would use the parts of the application. One of the areas that
should be more precise and with a little of the details mentioned throughout the essay
would be the conclusion. Since this only contains two sentences and they are extremely
short instead of summarizing the details investigated.

How successful are the images included to support the technical report goals? Which
ones are used and how suitable are they? What changes or additions do you suggest?

The images included to support the technical report, I do not consider that they were very
helpful. Since the images were not included with the text and the images did not include a
brief description. Which is part of the format of the images in a technical report. Images
such as the platform logo, the toolbar and the visuals once the user interacts with the
search icon, were the images included. They all have to do with parts of the essay, but
nevertheless, I don't consider them to have the correct format or to be noted while the
reader reads the essay. Therefore, I would suggest adding a brief description and a way
within the paragraph to indicate the reader that there’s a visual aid.

Describe the use of specific examples such as profiles, celebrity accounts, specific
products, descriptions of exact photos, images, or graphics found in the digital space, and
so forth. What is strong here? What needs improvement?

For specific examples, I only found one under the heading of "User Feed", where the
writer points out that Instagram monetizes through ads. It is a strong detail since it is
something, we have all interacted with and seen in our accounts. Therefore, this example
helps the reader a lot to keep abreast of what Instagram achieves by putting these ads.

Formal and How is the language sophistication and formality for this draft? What strengths or
improvements are suggested for language? Is language technical enough for this type of
Technical report or are there places where writing is too lax?
Language
This essay contains many sophisticated words and complies with maintaining a technical
vocabulary throughout the paper. The tone is formal and continuous. Which would be
part of the strengths that can be found throughout the trial, but the use of comparisons is
very good. For example, the use of a word like "mitochondria" to compare. Again, the
vocabulary and tone of this essay complies with keeping it technical.

Notes on language:

 Avoid overused or generic words: stuff, thing, things, very, really, big, small,
good, bad, a lot, tons, great.

 Avoid slang words or phrases.

 Avoid popular words that are overused: amazing, awesome, pretty, beautiful.

Write overall keeps a professional and serious tone throughout the paper.

Grammar, Does the writer follow generally accepted grammar rules, spelling, and punctuation
practices? What moments might be improved?
Spelling, and
Punctuation The writing and grammar through the essay point out that the writer was cautious in
choosing certain words and maintaining the correct grammar and rules.

Reminder:

Correct Possessive Apostrophe Use: The girl’s puppy ran away.


Correct Contraction Apostrophe Use: The student doesn’t need extra time for the exam.
Use Capital Letters for every use of the Digital Space (Instagram, Facebook, etc.)

Additional
Suggested Ideas: Follow the recommendations and examples of technical tests to
Comments improve the areas mentioned above.

Please add at least What additional comments and/or suggestions do you have for this writer? Do you like
(2) more the subject matter or technology presented here?
additional
The writer maintains a simple and concise style during the essay and that helps the reader
comments or keep a clear idea.
questions for the
author. Is there a moment that strikes you as surprising, inspiring, or interesting in this draft?

The best thing I liked about this essay again was the use of a word like "mitochondria"
which surprised me at such a comparison.

Is there a moment that’s confusing that will need to be worked out for the final draft?

I do not consider that there were sentences that caused confusion with the ideas presented
but yes, some to correct. After these, perhaps the conclusion because so much
information was very short and summarizes everything very briefly.

Is the writer seriously off-target here and needs major re-working for the Final Copy?

No, I consider that the writer stayed out of his idea and carried it out well.

Any questions to pose for the author?

What inspired you to write about Instagram?

Other comments/questions: N/A.


Peer Review Response Sheet: Interface & Design Report
Peer Reviewer’s Name: Ana Slater

Original Writer’s Name:

Category Review Comments

Overall Essay Organization and Structure: Evaluate how well-organized the draft is so far as an orderly,
distraction-free copy. What stands out here that is strong with overall structure? Be
Organization specific. What suggestions do you have for the writer to improve structure, arrangement,
and Sentence or organization?
Quality
This essay is very organized by using the sequence style as the reader goes through it.
Because of this, what stands out with the overall structure is the step-by-step style of
writing and how in depth the details go about the different tabs and their functionality.

Sentence Quality: Copy and paste any sentences or sections that are confusing or out of
place. Describe the weaknesses or confusion in organization that may be present.
And/or, copy and paste sentences or phrases that are especially strong and appealing.

“The buns of the burger are both a shade of orange with the top bun having what appears
to sesame seeds and a bite taken out of it.” This sentence is part of the introduction,
which personally I would leave out this sentence since it doesn’t contribute to the other
contextual description of the logo used for the app.

“The app does not allow the user to easily compare options and that should be implanted
soon to help users see what options they have easier.” Part of the conclusion paragraph
and one of the strongest and most appealing sentences throughout the paper. This
sentence is easily alerting and capturing the reader. Because it gives some argument and
is leaving the reader with this sense of possibility for future versions of the app.

Choppy vs. Readable Sentences: Comment on the writer’s ability to use transitional
words or phrases to promote organization and readability. (Examples: first, in addition
to, finally, for example, and aside from its intuitive design, another reason Instagram is
appealing is …) If you can find a few examples of transitional words or phrases, copy
and paste them here. What suggestions do you have?

The sentences throughout the paper are readable but there’s truly no use of transitional
words. Instead the writer chose to follow his sentences flow using either verbs or
“the/this” words. Since, this is a possible area of improvement for a more dynamic and
flowing essay. Perhaps not using the same sentence starting words sentence after sentence
would give the reader an indication that the paper is guiding and informing the
user/reader.
Essay Format How successfully does the writer follow traditional writing format conventions? Provide
details.

The writer did excellent job by double spacing, keeping title centered, and starting
paragraphs by making them indented. Also, the font and its size is what the suggested
font is for most essays.

Are all paragraphs double-spaced?

Yes, all paragraphs are double-spaced.

Is is there a title for this draft? How would you judge the quality of the essay title? Does
it need revised?

This draft is titled “Purdue Mobile Menus: Appeal and Spiel”. I would judge quality by
creativity and use of words and even though the title basically is a summary of the entire
paper and ideas. I found this title catchy because of the rhythm between the words
“appeal” and “spiel”. I would say it truly is good as it is.

Is each paragraph indented from the left margin by one “Tab” button?

Each paragraph is indented from the left margin by one “tab”.

Does the writer include generally-accepted paragraph units that consist of several
sentences relating to the same topic? Any suggestions?

The write did keep a good ratio of sentences per paragraph. The paragraphs do relate to
the same topic and they continue to talk about the same idea for each tab. I would maybe
suggest adding a reason why the design is different or unique for the app. Since the paper
only talks about functionalities and design of each tab within the app.

MLA Format: Does the author use MLA formatting for the name label on the top, left
margin? Suggestions? See the sample below:
The writer followed the MLA format very successfully.
Technical How successfully does the writer integrate distinct sections of writing in the essay with
section headings? Copy and paste a few here. Are all of the section titles detailed and
Report Goals innovative enough? Which ones are too dull or simple? (“Interface,” or “Instagram”).

The writer is missing headings for the different paragraphs. But I would say based on
what each paragraph talks about these headings can be very catchy for the reader since
there’s various tabs and functionalities covered throughout the paper.

Comment on the writer’s ability to provide ample descriptions of the interface and design
elements of the digital space. Where are these descriptions strong? Which areas need
improvement or strengthening?

The writer definitely went through every process and documented it in a way the reader
could follow and understand if they were following the steps and processes mentioned in
the paper. Plenty of details on how it works and how it is design superficially. That’s the
reason that makes the descriptions very strong between the second to the fourth
paragraph. Even though the introduction could be improved by taking unnecessary extra
details that don’t really contribute to what is being described.

How successful are the images included to support the technical report goals? Which
ones are used and how suitable are they? What changes or additions do you suggest?

These images are very small and compressed. They are not to clear for the readers since
they are almost non-distinguishable, and they don’t have a brief description of what part
of the paragraph we are looking at. The writer was concise with the pictures showing two
which is a good amount since the paper itself is the main focus and the images are just
serving as visual aid. Strongly suggest to make them a bigger scale for the reader to be
able to really see what the write is showing us and a small description of what are we
looking at.
Describe the use of specific examples such as profiles, celebrity accounts, specific
products, descriptions of exact photos, images, or graphics found in the digital space, and
so forth. What is strong here? What needs improvement?

Throughout the paper the reader can find hat options the app offers the students for
dinning on campus and even the On-The-Go options. Food icons are described and
mentioned in the paper as well as other icons that can be found within the app. Details are
essentially the strongest points of this paper. However, I would suggest including a brief
description of what is served or special from the different dining options.
Formal and How is the language sophistication and formality for this draft? What strengths or
improvements are suggested for language? Is language technical enough for this type of
Technical report or are there places where writing is too lax?
Language
The language used through out the paper is very technical, formal and serious tone.

Notes on language:

 Avoid overused or generic words: stuff, thing, things, very, really, big, small,
good, bad, a lot, tons, great.

 Avoid slang words or phrases.

 Avoid popular words that are overused: amazing, awesome, pretty, beautiful.

This paper doesn’t overuse generic words, slangs or popular words. All words are
technical enough and in academic language.
Grammar, Does the writer follow generally accepted grammar rules, spelling, and punctuation
practices? What moments might be improved?
Spelling, and
Punctuation Since this is a technical paper the writer fully used technical words, and the grammar is
very well suited for the paper style. There are no punctuation or grammatical errors, or at
least not one that immediately catches the reader’s attention.

Reminder:

Correct Possessive Apostrophe Use: The girl’s puppy ran away.


Correct Contraction Apostrophe Use: The student doesn’t need extra time for the exam.
Use Capital Letters for every use of the Digital Space (Instagram, Facebook, etc.)

Additional Suggested Ideas: include description for the images used, implement transitional words
between paragraphs, improve sentences that are not relevant to the content in the
Comments introduction.
Please add at least What additional comments and/or suggestions do you have for this writer? Do you like
(2) more the subject matter or technology presented here?
additional
The writer went all in for this paper, great app to write about since most student interact
comments or with it daily. Also, it contains plenty of information. It does seemed like the writer wrote
questions for the this paper as he discovered the different areas and experienced them.
author.
Is there a moment that strikes you as surprising, inspiring, or interesting in this draft?

A piece of information that was very surprising to discover was the mention of a “call”
option on the menu’s app.

Is there a moment that’s confusing that will need to be worked out for the final draft?

Again, the introduction needs some adjustments on how many details are being described
and contribution.

Is the writer seriously off-target here and needs major re-working for the Final Copy?

No, the paper and amount of details are proof that the writer is knowledgeable of his
chosen digital space.

Any questions to pose for the author? What is special about each dining locations?

Other comments/questions: N/A