Running Head: A JOURNEY TO SELF 1

A Journey to Self: An Examination of Cognitive Development and My Story

Noah Montague

Miami University
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Writing My Story was a rather cathartic experience, and one that was well timed in

regards to my own feelings and experiences up until this point. Much of what I wrote surprised

me after it was written and much of it did not. Looking back on it now, I feel that I have grown

in only the week or so since it was written. When taking into considering the variety of

knowledge that I have gained in the time since I wrote it, I am seeing and thinking on a great

deal of thoughts, theories and ideals as they relate back to my own personal experiences: to my

own story. Through exploring these theories both in and out of class, I have found myself to be

thinking about things that I had not previously, exploring new areas of my own development,

and forging new goals and ideals as they pertain the aforementioned theories centered around

cognitive development. In learning about this area of human development, it has become

possible for me to look deeper at myself and my values in the form of cognitive analysis, which

has allowed me to learn even more about myself and who I am.

In My Story, I came to an understanding by the end of it that a great deal of what I wrote

can be related back my experiences with and without my father. While this was not the story I

set out to write, I have been thinking about why it was in the terms of several theories about

cognitive development, the first of which is Perry’s Theory of Intellectual and Ethical

Development. While I do not feel that I fit into the confines of Perry’s theory perfectly, I do see

a great deal of myself in it and to discount it would be to discount those parts of myself. Firstly,

I am a stickler for words and their meanings, which is something that Perry’s theory and my own

mindset have in common. Perry resonates with in that he “[E]mphasized our need to understand

students in motion and not imprison them in cages” (Knefflekamp, 1990, as cited in Patton, Ren,

Guido, and Quaye, 2016, pp. 316). Though, perhaps, a small portion of his theory and not
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touching on the actual theoretical nature of said theory, the meaning behind it resonates with me

greatly in the area of my story in which I discuss my relationship with my father. In talking

about several other theories, I often found myself wondering what stage I am at, while Perry

emphasizes that it is not about stages and that much of development occurs while moving. This

resonates with me in that my development as it relates to my father is ongoing in that I am still

trying to adjust and grow due to what has happened with him and my mother as well as my

decision to cut him out. The inclusion of this theory and this concept of positions helped me to

see that it is not necessarily about stages and one’s level of development, but rather how one sees

oneself in relation to a variety of things at any given time.

As for a more theoretical examination, I see Perry’s theory relating to my story in the

areas of dualism and multiplicity. In the terms of dualistic thinking, I see My Story relate in

several ways. With dualism being a way of looking at things as only black and white or right

and wrong, there are instances in which I have made meaning along these lines (Perry, 1968, as

cited in Patton et al., 2016). Thinking back to My Story, there were several instances that I

discussed with my father and his use of alcohol as well as his treatment of my mother. These

would be some things that I would view as wrong in a more flat sense, which relates back to

dualism in that I only see these things as wrong. This led me to view alcohol as a negative as

well, and led me to make the decision to no longer speak to him. The same can be said of my

mother raising me on her own, which I see as only right. In these ways, I see dualism in this area

of my thinking in that there are experiences that I have had that I only see as right and wrong.

In this same field, however, I see much of my thinking relating back to Perry’s theory in

the area of moving between positions and multiplicity. In My Story, I discussed a great deal of
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the ongoing difficulties that I had and have in the relationship between myself and my father. I

see much of Perry’s theory here in that I am still attempting to understand my experiences and

discern what is right and wrong in the current place that I am in that much of the difficulties with

that relationship are ongoing. Another area in which see multiplicity in relation to my own

experience is my understanding and relationship with knowledge. This is something that I may

not have explicitly mentioned directly in My Story, but it something that I can see directly

relating to the substance of these theories in how I construct knowledge. The concept of

knowledge and how one comes to know what they do is rather perplexing, and I have found that

much of how I learn is related to listening and hearing many, occasionally conflicting points of

view. This relates to Perry’s theory in the position of multiplicity in that I suppose one could

argue that through listening, I am viewing all the opinions that I hear as true and storing them

within my mind until I find my own truth value (Perry, 1968, as cited in Patton et al., 2016). I

see this idea relating back to the section of My Story in which I spoke on opinions as well, with

my father telling me that I was not to have opinions of my own. I think a large deal my need to

listen is to help myself to attempt to form my own opinions. While this is something I am

attempting to build upon, after reading Perry, I see myself in his position of multiplicity;

something which I know I can continue to grow on due to his emphasis on flow throughout the

different positions of growth (Perry, 1968, as cited in Patton et al., 2016).

This idea of listening as part of my learned experience is something that I am recently

coming to terms with in the area of what I think as I stated in My Story. Like Perry’s theory, I

am able to make a great deal of sense of my own experience as written in My Story through

Belenkey’s theory on Women’s Ways of Knowing. While not relating to the gender identity that
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I hold, the theory itself holds some merit as to my own experiences with silence depending,

though, notably, depending on the situation in which I find myself. Firstly, I look to the five

perspectives that were determined as a result of the study. When thinking about my father telling

me that I was not allowed to have opinions of my own, albeit in relation to religion but

misconstrued by my own understanding of his meaning, the perspective that I had cognitively

was silence (Belenkey, Clinchy, Goldberger, Tarule, 1968, as cited in Patton et al., 2016). I was

unable to see any other way of thinking at the time and found myself blindly accepting what I

was told. Once I was able to see this instance as one of silence, I was able to see what then came

and my internal thought process on the matter, similar to my opinions on alcohol, as received

knowledge in that I believed what I was told or shown to be the truth. I see a lot of this received

knowledge in my experience in classes as well, in that I tend to learn best through hearing others’

thoughts and receiving their knowledge. This is where I disagree with Belenkey as well, in that

this nature of received knowledge is viewed as solely negative (Belenkey et al., 1968, as cited by

Patton et al., 2016). While this may be true for those this study was meant for, my experience

leads me to believe that knowledge I receive from those around me can better lead me on my

journey to self authorship.

In the terms of my continued cognitive development, the nature of the theories that I

identified My Story most with imply a kind of flowing nature of development: that every new

experience or experience shared with me can impact my own cognitive development. While I

know that I have a ways to go, and I identified with several levels in both theories I mentioned

that are in the middle, I hope to continue my growth throughout the experiences I am having,

will have, and have had already.

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References

Patton, L. D., Renn, K. A., Guido, F. M., & Quaye, S. J. (2016). In ​Student Development in

College: Theory, Research, and Practice​ (pp. 314–335). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass,

A Wiley Brand.