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Mythological
Creatures
Modern Mythological Creatures
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Modern Mythological Creatures
The
i−ycler
The child of prankster spirits and club
goers. It will appear at parties, bars, or
other events, and display a freely
swinging sexual orientation to get
attention. It pursues this like a sport.
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Modern Mythological Creatures
l hubbycabra ottit
A wandering spirit which seek out Tiny goblins with a natural chameleon-
areas bearing a couch, gaming system, like talent for blending in with ugly
and an Internet connection. Possesses carpets and wallpaper. They have an
the inhabitants or visitors of these innate hatred for bureaucracy and do
areas. The spirit will temporarily turn their best to harass bureaucrats by
them into sessile beings inhabiting the stealing forms and other acts of
couch who will game and surf the mischief. They are the reason HR and
Internet, typing or manipulating the DMV workers are so irritable.
controller with their unnaturally mobile, Unfortunately, they also steal other
yet fat orange stained claws. The people's forms, which forces them to
Chubbycabra will order out for delivery fill out the paperwork all over again.
of pizza or Chinese food and consume Can be placated by harassing
them at a rapid pace, leading to it's bureaucrats.
host growing rotund with prolonged
possession. Observers have
speculated that the Chubbycabra may The rama "lama
suck the food from the respective
delivery boxes, but this rumor is false.
They just eat fast. North America cousin of the noble
Peruvian Llama. The DL is a creature
so perfectly adapted to human
Exorcism may be performed via civilization and company, that it is
exercise or vigorous, hilarious, games rarely sighted (or often sighted but
(dropping 187 with a motherfucking rarely recognized). True to it's llama
NERF gun, for example). Less instincts, it prefers to feed off the
favorably, kicking the host's ass off the ground, and will spit in people's ears to
couch can work. annoy them into throwing drink,
dropping food, or tripping to provide for
itself and it's llamalings. It is
de"uke untrackable by hoof prints, since it
leaves dust everywhere as a defense
mechanism, and leaves no spoor since
An invisible elfin spirit who steals the it uses human toilets (as well as using
temperature from your drinks. If you've all the toilet paper and leaving the
ever taken a sip of coffee and been empty roll.)
disgusted by how cold its gotten, it's
likely that a deLuke got to it. deLukes
also warm up cold drinks and make
chinese food all gummy when you
reheat it.
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Modern Mythological Creatures
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presence for too long - they can be
The 'owlma seen signing on, hanging out for a
second, and then signing off.
Small silhouettes living off excess
electricity just inside your monitor.
They appear as punctuation marks +isantrophee
that are present upon typing and
proofreading, but disappear as soon
as the work is printed or posted. This ghoulish scavenger is made up,
Occasionally a Kowlma will settle next as a jumbled mess of many ghostly
to an actual punctuation mark looking partial body parts, limbs, heads and
like a duplicate, when the duplicate is mouths speaking of good intentions,
erased, it assumes its role, proving to as well as a distinctively large
be missing on the regular document. collection of half asses. It feeds on lost
bits of faith in humanity, hunts unkept
promises and wild assumptions,
unclaimed responsibilities, missed
"iberchaun opportunities and discarded hope.
Because of the high moral fiber
A Liberchaun is a cousin of the content of its diet, it is generally quite
Leprechaun. Liberchauns are also happy and well-balanced. It builds its
diminutive Irish characters who guard nests on high stakes, from where it
fabulous prizes. But they don't live at uses its keen long-term vision to scan
the end of rainbows, they live at the for parts of the bigger picture losing
end of unread books. They prefer their grasp on reality.
books which are very boring, or which
have been purchased but never read. Its mating-call is
In order to find a Liberchaun's UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
treasure, you have to read the entire NG, which is used by the males to
book before it has a chance to move attract and deceive female
out. They also tend to like old Irish misantrophees into believing there is a
novels. The largest Liberchaun family tasty snack to be found. At this sound,
dwells specifically inside works by the female rushes into the situation
James Joyce. with a big leap of faith, and as her
belief becomes unfounded, it takes on
a life of its own and become a new
"irc baby misanthropee.
&airy
$ikodemon
The Narcolepsy Fairy is the Sandman's
not so nice brother. Instead of The Nikodemon is usually inhaled via a
bestowing the weary with some much cigarette. In fact, Nikodemon's lay
needed sleep at night, the Narcolepsy dormant in cigarettes until the fire
Fairy will induce sleep in people at very awakens them. During the initial
inopportune times, such as during an period they are quiet and only make
important class lecture, during a movie their desires known if they go too long
that you really wanted to see, or while without being fed their nicotine dose at
driving. The Narcolepsy Fairy is also the expected time. The sweats given
responsible for oversleeping on an off while trying to quit smoking will
important day. When attempting to morph the Nikodemon into a Greater
make someone oversleep, the Nikodemon, much like what happens
Narcolepsy Fairy will often employ one when you get a Mogwai wet. Even
or more Chronaxe to disable alarms. It though the person may be 100%
is not sure why the Narcolepsy Fairy nicotine free, the Greater Nikodemon
does what he does, as, generally, he's constantly desires more nicotine
a pretty cool guy, but some people infecting their hosts with cigarette
believe that a falling out with his cravings, dreams involving smoking
brother, the Sandman, lead him to and the urge to return to the days
become overly competitive in the field when you could still smoke in bars. He
of sleep inducement. will often accept offerings of nicotine
gum but these individual sacrifices are
never quite enough to tame his
demands for more cigarettes. He lives
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Modern Mythological Creatures
initially in the lungs and during his life phone reception, you can sometimes
slowly migrates to the brain. Once he hear them trying to whisper their
becomes affiliated with someone their message. They are also known for
is no way to ever fully get him out of calling people from an unlisted
the host number and then not saying anything.
They are also behind a lot of "heavy
breathing" phone calls.
$ikobutter
Related to both the Nikodemon and
,hantom -tep
nMYOB. The Nikobutter always lives in
the Anus and causes extreme Phantom Steps live at the bottom of
reactions to any second hand smoke staircases. They are responsible for
experienced by their host. This will making you think that there is one
cause the host to excessively wave more step left until you reach the
their hands in the presence of second bottom of the stairs, resulting in a
hand smoke, raise their voices, hilarious misstep. A greater Phantom
unnoticed to the speaker, when Step can do so in areas familiar to you,
making comments about smoking, and like your own home.
cause the hosts face to maintain an
ugly rigor they will maintain while in
the smoke vicinity. It also increases
the hosts ability to pick up the scent of
any smoke, from hotel rooms to the
clothes worn to a Phish concert, even
if the smoking happened decades ago.
$umron
This is a ghost who lives in cell phone
towers. If you die in a car accident
while texting or talking on the phone,
this may be your fate. Like many
ghosts, Numrons are bound to this
plane by their unfinished business. In
their case, it is a message that was
never delivered. When you get bad
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,hawlsees ,ixyl
Phawlcees are tiny, microscopic Pixels don't die. They are stolen by
creatures that, if allowed in, live in your pixyls, who use each stolen pixel to
brain. They convince you to regard construct there own monitor piece by
other peoples opinions and ideas as piece. They can travel through
truth, even if they are not. Once a false electrical wires, phone or cable lines,
idea is accepted by the host, or even radio/microwaves.
Phawlcees push this idea to the
forefront of your brain and make you
militant about these ideas. If nothing is ,yrrot
done to stop this process, the false
idea becomes ingrained in your brain
so deeply, that you think that you, The Pyrrot (pronounced "pie rit") loves
yourself, thought it up. False ideas music, especially catchy pop anthems
implanted by Phawlcees in this and addictive commercial jingles.
manner are almost impossible to get When it hears a particularly catchy
rid of, even if you are aware that it was tune, it memorizes it. Later, it'll keep
an implanted idea. Phawlcees live off singing one part of that tune over and
of the negative energy that comes over again. Pyrrots live on your
from illogical and combative shoulder, probably because that's
arguments, so the ideas planted are where they hear the best music. They
often religious or secular in nature. have no respect for intellectual
property.
,ill +imic
-ock -meagol
These shape shifters disguise
themselves as pharmaceutical drugs. Everyone has had run-ins with this
After you swallow them, they live inside thieving little demons who hide inside
your stomach, where they feed on dryers and steal socks and other
partially digested food. Once articles of clothing. But sometimes
immersed, pill mimics secrete a mucus they sneak out in the middle of the
which protects them from your night to play, swinging around on
stomach acid, but also has mild clothes hanging in closets, rearranging
psychogenic properties. This altered them, dragging random objects from
state is frequently mistaken for the around your house and putting them
intended effects of the pharmaceutical under sofa cushions and the like. One
for which the pill mimic was mistaken. of their favorite games is to wait until
there's only one pair of socks or boxers
left in your drawer, and then steal
them.
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find beauty in adjoining two relatively
The -omelse ,rob unrelated items, and feel as if they are
making some form of social
These incorporeal creatures hang commentary by doing so (though, if
around the less fortunate. They feed you asked one to explain the meaning,
on compassion and when someone they will just tell you that you wouldn't
more fortunate is considering doing understand). They are responsible for
something compassionate they will that sock stuck to the back of your
leap into their brains and devour the shirt that you don't notice until you're
compassion, causing an averting of out at a social gathering. Particularly
eyes and the idea that someone else malicious, evil aligned Static Clingons
will take care of the less fortunate will attach women's underwear to any
individual in question. Somelse Probs one of your garments when you're on
have discovered ways to travel via your way to your girlfriends, parents or
television and often hitch a ride on grandparents house. Static Clingons
those commercials with the starving are closely related to Sock Smeagols.
African children in them, among
others.
-tidnab Traf
-pliss These nebulous spirits live in deep
hydrothermal vents in the ocean
A tiny goblin that naturally lives feeding on methane. Sometimes these
dormant in corn fields, where it causes vents close off or just run out of food
no harm. Sometimes, however, after forcing the spirits to make a pilgrimage
corn has been processed and to the surface. When people use
consumed, the human digestive track natural gas to heat their homes,
activates the Spliss, where it runs Stidnab Traf are attracted who then
amok causing gas and other steal from your supply. Of course they
discomfort until it eventually dies, is don't stop there, and when hungry
passed along the track, and becomes enough they will also steal your
lodged at the very end of the excretory unfarted flatus.
system. This is why you sometimes
wake up for a morning piss and the
stream for no reason at all sprays off Toekin
in two different directions
T /- ,/,"
They are invisible and there are
unsubstantiated reports they try to
steal all of your ill earned assets. On
the rare occasions they are visible they
can be identified by their smudgy skin
color. Many natives are terrified of
them, but this is due to ignorance.
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0andering ock
A relative of the Lirc, these severed
phalli enjoy traveling through the
internet and popping up occasionally
just to say "Hello!". According to
folklore, these phalli were once
attached to men in the real world, but
got lonely and decided to leave.
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