THE MAINTENANCE AND COURSE OF RELATIONSHIP

LEVINGER: STAGE THEORY MODEL

 Does not deal with compatibility

 More on how you make things work despite the incompatibility.
THE ABC’S OF A RELATIONSHIP
A – ACQUAINTANCE (ATTRACTION)

 IT STARTS WITH BEING MUTUALLY ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER.

 SIMILARITY
 EROTIC AND PASSIONATE FEELING
“Ohh yeah she seems nice”
B - BUILD-UP

 INCREASING AMOUNT OF SELF- DISCLOSURE.

 SHARE BOTH PLEASANT AND UNPLEASANT INFORMATION
“Hmmm she’s interesting”
C – CONTINUATION

 OUR SOCIAL NORMS HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED

 IT DOES NOT INVOLVE INTENSE EMOTIONS.
 MAY START TAKING EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED.
“Pang long-term ba toh?”
D – DETERIORATION

 THERE ARE A VARIETY OF FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE A RELATIONSHIP TO

DETERIORATE.
 COSTS, REWARDS, BARRIERS, COMMUNICATION AND ETC.
“Uhhhh, I don’t know anymore”
E – ENDING

 COSTS INCREASE, AND REWARDS DECREASE.

 ALTERNATIVES SHOWING UP
 MAY REACH THE FINAL STAGE: THE END.
“I’m out. Byeeee”
SITUATION:
You’re About To Eat In One Of The Most Prestige Restaurants In The Country. In Their Menu, They
Have Your All Time Favorite Dish. The Order Arrives. As Soon As You Take The First Bite, You
Realized That The Food.... Tastes Shit
The Dissolution of a Relationship.
Rusbult and Zembrodt’s model of responses to relationship dissatisfaction
They proposed a model that identifies different reactions when the situation becomes troublesome
Active – Take action
Destructive – Responses that weaken or end the relationship
Constructive – Responses intended to repair/ maintain the relationship
Passive -Take no direct action

EXIT (Active + Destructive)

 Leave the relationship

 Response that involves voluntarily getting out of a relationship.
VOICE (Active + Constructive)

 Discuss Problems
 There is an attempt to make the situation better.
 Would literally voice out the concerns to improve the relationship.
NEGLECT (Passive + Destructive)

 Pull back from relationship

 Refuse to deal with the problem. May refuse to talk about problems, spend less time with their
partner, criticise them and let the situation deteriorate based from the lack of effort.
LOYALTY (Passive + Constructive)

 Wait for relationship to improve

 Optimistically waits for the situation to get better.
 Forgive and forget kind of attitude is in this response.
Ultimately, Acknowledging How We React Can Give Us A Glimpse On How We Cope And Manage In
Certain Situations.
Family Legacies -Anything (Beliefs, attitudes, values and etc.) that is being passed down through
generations
Emotional Legacy

 Help children to cope with struggles.

 Give your child a sense of emotional security.
 Create an atmosphere/environment that promotes safety, love, and compassion.
Social Legacy

 Help children learn how to relate with others. (Social Skills)

 Teaching them the do’s and don’ts in a social context (Manners)
 Becoming a role model.
Spiritual Legacy

 Guide children to acquire certain beliefs and behaviors based from spirituality.
 To build a connection to something bigger than us.
 Healthy relationship with oneself (soul)
Why are legacies important?
What legacy are you going to pass down?
Introduction
Finally! Your lifelong dream of having a jowa has come true. That happy crush of yours that
you’ve been making pa – simple by passing by their classroom in Yuch and by always eating lunch
at SJ walk on purpose so that they’ll notice you, is now your lifetime partner. You don’t know
how, but you did it!
Years later, your relationship has been stronger than ever and the both of you are more than
financially stable. You, my friend, are living the dream of your teenage-self because what you
have been wishing for is now a reality. As you enjoy this moment, a sudden realization hits you:
for some apparent reason, you randomly remembered how your awesome PerDev prof. has
discussed the concept of Generativity vs. Stagnation, and you noticed that your situation
completely matches your current stage in life. Given that you are more than familiar with the said
concept, and in no way do you need anyone to explain it to you again, you decide to talk with your
lovey dovey about your plans for each other. With you being compatible, similar in a lot of aspects,
and achieving the perfect triangular symbol of love, the two of you have come to a conclusion to
take things to the next level – to build a family.
After all the epiphanies and contemplation, you tell yourself that you would be the best parent that
your future child will have. The question is, “how will you achieve that?” Parenting and raising a
family may sound common and simple, yet we still need to consider what approaches should be
taken into account so as to ensure that the home that you have will be one that is ideal for your
family. To know all these, we first need to define what family legacies are, what the different types
are, and how are they essential in life.

Family Legacy
These are practices, beliefs, or values that are passed down from parents to children. They also
often involve the traditions, teachings, and other related matters that are carried over to the
succeeding generation within a given family.

Emotional Legacy
The emotional legacy is mainly the secure and nurturing environment provided to the children. Of
course, children need a home where they are not only accepted, but also understood. In turn, they
would be able to learn how to regulate their own emotions later on, and to simply manage life itself
through their learned strategies on how to cope, be resilient, and to take care of their own mental
wellness. Hence, a “safe space” is a must whenever you “pass down” this legacy.

Social Legacy
Social legacies revolve around the way children are taught to relate with other people. More often
than not, many parents tend to focus on the academic achievements of their children to the point
that they forget to give emphasis on their social skills. As social beings, this should not be the case
because we need to learn how to connect with individuals and how to work with them in order to
survive in this world, or the very least, in school and in our workplace.

Spiritual Legacy
Lastly, the spiritual legacy may be considered as quite a controversial aspect because it focuses on
the practices and ideologies shared with children to know more about the meaning of life.
Commonly, the religion of parents becomes the “default belief” of their children. However, there
will come a time when children, during their teenage years, would start questioning their own faith.
This is indeed a normal phenomenon, which is why families should learn how to approach these
types of discussions.

Conclusion
Building a family is indeed something exciting for some people. Then again, it’s still our choice if
we wish to have one, because having children is something that would depend on one’s priorities
and preferences in life. Should we ever decide to raise our own children, we should be aware about
the different legacies and carefully decide what to pass on to them. The family legacies that we
have and choose to fulfill will be the one to help “create” the next generation. With that being said,
it is simply proper that we provide the legacies that supplement the well-being of the children and
optimize their development.