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Jonathan Retana
Holly Batty
English 101
25 September 2019
wrong. College was something new and something that I had no knowledge of. None of my
family has been to college so they can’t really explain it to me what it really was and every
teacher that tried explaining it to me always summed it up saying it was like an A.P class. Most
Latinx students were in this situation. They were new to the whole idea of college and got lost
when exploring the concept of it. Since their parents didn’t fully understand college they also
didn’t understand how much of a hassle or responsibility it was. They kept putting pressure on
their children to do their best or kept putting a lot of house chores to do while they had a
tremendous amount of homework building up. If this keeps going on in the household some
students can get depressed and start coping habits that can not be safe and might even get
serious to a point where a student feels overwhelmed by everything and might want to take
their life.
To begin with, First-generation college students struggle with making their parents
comprehend that college is a big responsibility. When it comes to Latinx and their parents,
situations can get really complicated. Families can't take into consideration that college is the
main focus of their child’s career goals and other parents don't completely understand that at
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times they start to overwork their child with chores or by putting pressure on not failing in
anything. Lauren falcon states in the article Breaking down barriers that,
While parents of FGCS have a range of personal opinions about college, many low-
income parents view college as a venture for the rich and may look upon their child's desire to
Lauren falcon is implying that parents don't see it as something their child needs to
improve in life. Parents are completely oblivious to how important college can be, even by just
attending 2 years of it a student’s life can greatly improve. We have to find a way to properly
explain to parents how serious further education can be or how it can be a life-changing
Another thing that comes from families is putting a lot of pressure on kids and making
sure they are always getting the best grades they can get no matter how they are mentally
feeling. weather they are exhausted or need to take a break, Latinx parents are always pushing
their child to do their best and making sure they do not fail or let them down. Although it's okay
for your parents to care for your education, it also puts a lot of stress on you because you don't
want to disappoint your parents in any way. In the article, Latino Parents Value College More
The majority of Latino parents are foreign-born, and a large motivation for
immigration is on the opportunities for their children, including academic and financial
success. Latino parents come to the U.S. well aware that schooling is essential,
the author is stating that parents are pushing their child to a limit that might exceed one’s
mental fatigue. This is not fine because there is a point where some parents even stress their
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child out and then their child becomes ill with depression. Latinx families household can be very
difficult but when piled on top of school work, the situation gets out of control and the students
then start to compare themselves to their peers and wonder if they are intelligent enough to be
Although parents pushing their kids can be bad, many times it's okay because their child
might need the encouragement of doing good in college and sometimes might even need to be
reminded how big of an opportunity this is for them. It can also be good because they make
their child take it more seriously instead of wasting their time. Flores states in the article, Latino
Parents Value College More Than Anybody Else, that,” The support has to start early and be
done in an intentional way, not when students are in their senior year and completing high
school. By then it’s too late”. This breaks down that parents just want to ensure that their kid
doesn't get discouraged that they don't want to try anymore in school. That parents just want
what's best for their children and to make sure they do not end up like them in a bad place in
time paying a lot of debt and bills. They just want to push their child to their fullest potential.
This can be well in many ways, but one way it can really backfire is if their child thinks that they
have to be always perfect for their families and surpass all their peers in order for their parents
to be proud of them.
To conclude, we should establish a ground where we explain that students should try
their best at school but also know when to not push themselves to a level of stress that can lead
to depression and self-harm. The school needs to find ways to solve a parent and student
relationship by not get themselves involve a lot into the family so that the student can be
mentally stable and understand its ok to try your best and fail. With this being in effect and the
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school helping, the school can get higher graduation rates of first-generation Latinx.
Topic Selection: The essay focuses on a specific challenge faced by Latinx students.
3/5
2.5/5
Thesis: Essay states ONE specific solution to a challenge faced by Latinx students.
6/20
Development/Support: Ideas are fully developed. Three reliable sources used to support
your thesis.
21/30
Organization: The ideas appear in a logical order; the paragraphs are internally
organized; the paper uses transitions to move from one idea to the next.
15/20
mechanical errors.
7.5/10
MLA Citation: The paper uses MLA style citation for quotes, paraphrases, summaries,
0/5
MLA Formatting: The paper uses MLA formatting, including 12 point Times New Roman
font, double spacing, one-inch margins, etc. (See your handbook for a sample paper.)
4.5/5
Page Length: The paper is 3-4 complete pages long. Papers less than 3 COMPLETE pages
No
Total: 59.5/100
Comments: Jonathan, this is a good start. Your intro needs to state the specific problem.
I can’t tell if you are focusing on Latinx parents caring too much or too little, as you discuss both
in the body. Perhaps one of these should be the counterargument. In either case, you need to
have a thesis in the intro that spells out a specific solution. You rather vaguely hint at a
suggestion in the conclusion, but it’s too little too late by then. If you are focusing on parents
caring too little, for example, then you could discuss what colleges can do (like Puente Noche de
Familia). As a counter, one may argue that Latinx parents care too much, as you have stated. You
need to combine the first three paragraphs, as these are all the pieces of your quote sandwich
that you need to assemble. You have no in-text citations or works cited, which makes you
bordering on plagiarism. Be sure to proofread carefully for capitalization. Overall, this is a good
draft. I’m looking forward to seeing how you revise it for the portfolio!