The Medical Center

Carindale Rd
Carindale
QLD, 4235

08/08/06

Dr.Vincent Raymond
422 Wickham Tie
Brisbane, 4001

Dear Dr. Raymond,

Re: Dulcie Wood

DOB 15/07/40

Thank you for seeing this 66 year old widow mother of three children who needs cardiac Comment: Incorrect grammar. You
have two choices:
assessment for heart flutter. She also has a family history of myocardial infarction. 1.this 66 year old widowed mother
2. …this 66 year widow with three
children…
Mrs.Wood, first presented to me on 03/07/06 for a medical check up because she had Please refer to the attached grammar
experienced several episodes of heart flutter over the previous few weeks. Her current explanation sheet for advice on difficult
words
medications include a daily dose of Zocor 20 mg and Calcium caltrate one tablet. She
Comment: No comma required here
had a normal examination findings and echocardiogram was normal so I prescribed
Noten 50 mg ½ tablets in morning. A review consultation was scheduled for 2 week later Comment: Incorrect grammar. It is
preferable to say:
and I advised to keep a record of frequency of fibrillation. …she had normal examination findings
Comment: Is this the same as an
Two weeks later she came with the record which showed a less sensations but she had electrocardiogram?
awaked twice at night over the previous 2 weeks. Her examination findings were normal Comment: Use singular form: ½ tablet
Start new sentence therefore I increased the Noten to 50 mg ½ tablets in morning and1/2 Comment: Incorrect vocabulary,
tablet at evening. replace with: ….showed decreased
sensations ..
Comment: Change verb form : awoken
Unfortunately, today she has been feeling upset and very nervous, Start new sentence ( past perfect)
here. She asked me to refer her to you. (why? sister) She has had improvement initially
however over the last 3 days she has had several episodes. Her blood pressure is elevated
to 180/90.

I would very much appreciate your assessment and further management

Yours sincerely,
Dr. Hamoud
Your writing is assessed using the criteria below:

Overall task fulfillment Excellent in terms of word length and letter structure and
paragraphing

Comprehension of Not too bad, however, one important point you didn’t
stimulus mention was details about sister being a patient of Dr
Raymond. Refer to the model letter for an example of how
to do this.
Appropriateness of Excellent as it is meets all requirements in this category
language which include
1. Good organisation
2. Main purpose stated clearly in the introduction
3. Formal style

Control of linguistic This is getting better, but your goal should be to get down
features to only 5/6 mistakes per letter. If you can get to this level,
you will have a good chance of getting a B grade in OET

Control of presentation Excellent

features