Therapist’s Overview

THE LESSON OF SALMON ROCK ...

FIGHTING LEADS TO LONELINESS

GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

1. Verbalize an understanding of how current acting out and aggressive behaviors are associated
with past separations, losses, or abandonment issues.
2. Identify and verbalize feelings associated with past separations, losses, or abandonment issues.
3. Reduce the frequency and severity of acting out and aggressive behaviors.
4. Begin to express anger through appropriate verbalizations and healthy physical outlets.

ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST

USEFUL
• Bullying/Intimidation Perpetrator
• Grief/Loss Unresolved
• Oppositional Defiant

SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

The story, “The Lesson on Salmon Rock . . . Fighting Leads to Loneliness,” is aimed at reaching the
acting out and aggressive child who has experienced separation, loss, or abandonment by a
significant adult in his/her life. In this assignment, the remaining parent or caretaker is asked to read
the story of an Alaskan brown bear, named Barkley, to the child between therapy sessions. It is hoped
that the story will promote a discussion of the child’s feelings surrounding the significant separation
or loss in his/her life, either by allowing the child to spontaneously share his/her feelings during the
story or afterward by asking the client several process questions. The process questions can be asked
of the child during appropriate points in the story or after the entire story has been read. The specific
questions are offered as guides to help the child express his/her feelings. The reader is encouraged to
ask other questions that may be more appropriate for each individual client. It is not necessary for all
the questions to be asked in one sitting. Likewise, the child should not be pressured to answer any
questions that he/she does not feel ready to answer. The story is designed for children approximately
7 to 12 years of age. You also have the option of reading this story in the therapy session, particularly
if the child has been removed from the home.
 EXERCISE III.C

THE LESSON OF SALMON ROCK . . .

FIGHTING LEADS TO LONELINESS
INTRODUCTION AND READER’S INSTRUCTIONS

“The Lesson of Salmon Rock . . . Fighting Leads to Loneliness” is a story about an Alaskan brown
bear, Barkley, who responds to abandonment by his father by becoming very aggressive. Barkley
becomes the Lord of the Bears through his power and aggressiveness, but eventually realizes that he
is all alone. In the end, Barkley realizes that he finds more happiness and power in being a good
friend to other bears.
Storytelling can be an effective way to join with the child who has experienced separation, loss,
or abandonment by a significant adult in his/her life. Before reading the story to the child, try to
create a relaxed atmosphere. Spend a few minutes talking with the child. Feel free to sit on the floor
with the child or have the child stretch on a couch. Familiarize yourself with the story by reading it in
advance. This will help you be more animated or spontaneous in your expressions as you read the
story.
The purpose of sharing this story about Barkley is to help the child understand and recognize
how his/her anger and acting out behaviors are associated with a past separation, loss, or
abandonment. It is hoped that by creating a supportive environment, the child will feel comfortable in
opening up and sharing his/her feelings about the significant separation or loss in his/her life. After
reading the story, you are encouraged to ask the child some questions about his/her past separation or
loss. It may be beneficial with some children to ask him/her some of the questions as you read
through the story. If the child begins to spontaneously share his/her feelings about the past separation
or loss, encourage this. Offer a listening ear and an understanding tone of voice.
Following is a list of questions that you may find helpful in allowing the child to open up and
share his/her feelings. These questions are offered as a guide. Please feel free to ask other questions
that you feel are more appropriate for each individual child. You are encouraged to be flexible in
asking the questions. Do not feel that you need to ask all of the questions. Furthermore, it is very
important that you be sensitive to how the child responds to the story or questions. Do not force or
pressure a child into responding to any questions that he/she may not be ready or willing to answer.
You are encouraged to record any noteworthy remarks that the child may make in the following
spaces.
1. In the story, Barkley is angered and hurt by his father leaving. If you were Barkley, what would
you say to Dugan?
2. If you have experienced loss or separation from your father (or other important adult), what
would you like to say to him/her if you were free to say anything?

3. What feelings did you have when you first experienced the loss of separation from your father
(or other important adult)?

4. What feelings do you have at the present time about the loss or separation?

5. In the story, Barkley reacts with anger and fighting to the separation from his father and his
defeat by Thor. How have you shown your feelings of anger?
6. Nikolai helps Barkley to realize that his fighting has caused him to feel lonely in the end. How
has your fighting or aggressiveness affected your relationships with other family members,
friends, or peers?

7. Identify three ways that you can express your anger that lets others know how you feel, but does
not hurt them or yourself.
A.

B.

C.

8. Nikolai helps Barkley discover the power of sharing and being a friend. Name three ways that
you can share or be a friend to others.
A.

B.
 C.

THE LESSON OF SALMON ROCK . . . FIGHTING LEADS

TO LONELINESS

Alaska, the great northern frontier, is a land like no other. It is a unique place, for nowhere on earth do the
polar bear, Alaskan brown bear, and American black bear all live. These three different bears symbolize
the beauty and power of the Alaskan wilderness.
Barkley, a brown bear, lived in Alaska. Barkley was born in the cold, sleepy winter months to his
mother, Kiana, and father, Dugan. He snuggled close to his mother and father in their mountain cave as
they hibernated during the winter months. He was awakened in the springtime to the sounds of buzzing
insects, and he bounded out of his cave with youthful energy. His parents informed him that they would
leave their winter home in the mountains and travel down to the valley below.
While traveling down the mountainside, Barkley and his family found that many of the best fishing
spots had already been claimed by the largest brown bears. When Dugan finally discovered a perfect
place for his family to catch fish, a large 1,500-pound brown bear suddenly appeared out of the woods.
He gruffly commanded Dugan and his family to leave his place on the river. The large bear became very
angry and lunged at Dugan. Dugan fought bravely, but he was no match for the larger, stronger bear.
Dugan ended up running away in defeat, with Kiana and Barkley following him. He was humiliated and
ashamed in his family’s presence. He did not say anything to them for the rest of the evening.
Barkley rose early the next morning and discovered that his father was missing. Barkley called out to
his father in the wilderness, but received no answer. He explored the meadows and smaller streams
looking for his father, but he could not find him. Barkley waited for his father to return that evening, but
he never did. Barkley continued waiting all the next week. He felt hurt, sad, and confused. He wasn’t sure
whether his father had been hurt or he just left out of shame. Barkley told his mother that he wanted to set
out and search for his father. Kiana could sense the hurt and anger in her son’s voice and agreed to let him
go. So, Barkley set out on his search.
The summer days passed and the busy streams were full of leaping salmon. Barkley was drawn to the
river each day to see how many delicious fish he could catch. The salmon could be seen everywhere
struggling to swim upstream to get to their final destination. Barkley was amazed by the number of fish.
As he traveled upstream with them, he came to a six-foot-high waterfall. At the top of the waterfall,
several small- and medium-sized rocks joined together to form a bridge that led out to a very large rock.
Barkley climbed up the banks to get to the top of the waterfall and followed the path of stones out to the
large rock. He climbed up and stood on top of the rock, ready to snag a leaping fish. A fish shot out of the
water like a cannonball and Barkley was ready to grab it, but all of a sudden, he felt the rock trembling
underneath his feet. Barkley’s thoughts were no longer on the fish, but on the big bear that was before
him. The other bear growled fiercely at Barkley, “What are you doing here on Salmon Rock? I am Thor,
Lord of the Bears. Salmon Rock belongs to me!” Barkley felt both confused and frightened. He replied,
“What’s the problem? This rock seems big enough for both of us to fish on.” Thor shouted back, “Get off
my rock. I don’t ever want to see you on this part of the river again,” and with that, he smacked Barkley
with his tremendous paw. Barkley tumbled into the water and crashed to the bottom of the waterfall. The
weight of the rushing water pushed him downstream with such force that he was unable to come up for
another 50 yards. Barkley struggled to make his way closer to the riverbank. Finally, he grabbed hold of a
fallen tree and was just able to pull himself up on the riverbank.
Barkley shook the water out of his fur and wished that his father was there to stand up for him. Anger
and shame swelled up inside of Barkley, to the point where he vowed to himself that he would never be
treated like that again. He whispered to himself, “I will return next year and become the new Lord of the
Bears. It will be me who stands atop Salmon Rock.”
The fall season passed quickly. Barkley found a comfortable cave for his long winter nap and he laid
down to hibernate. When the winter months passed, he made his way down the hills to the river,
remembering his vow to return to Salmon Rock. As he journeyed to Salmon Rock, Barkley tested his
strength by fighting other bears over their fishing spots. He battled 10 bears. He was the winner each
time, but he did not stay to claim those spots on the river. He still wanted the most prized spot of all,
Salmon Rock. Barkley finally reached Salmon Rock and growled to let Thor know of his presence. Thor
immediately stood up and bellowed, “I thought I had warned you not to come back, and I see that you
have ignored my warning. I will just have to give you more of the same medicine that I gave you last
fall.” Barkley responded, “I am no longer the same bear, which you will soon discover.” Barkley jumped
onto the rock, and a furious battle ensued. This time, Barkley grabbed Thor by his body and thrust him
into the water. Thor was quickly swept downriver by the powerful waters. When he emerged from the
water, Barkley roared, “I am the new Lord of the Bears. I have fulfilled my vow to myself. It is now you
who must leave and never come back!” News of Barkley’s victory spread throughout the nearby
mountains and plains. Newcomers came to challenge Barkley for the title of Lord of the Bears. Each time,
the challengers were defeated, and Barkley only grew more sure of himself.
Barkley left Salmon Rock one day to gather berries. While he was gone, a small, innocent bear,
named Nikolai, climbed onto Salmon Rock to fish. The new Lord of the Bears became very angry when
he saw the small bear on his throne and demanded that Nikolai leave. Barkley was shocked when Nikolai
looked up at him and said, “I think there’s enough room here for the two of us. I don’t see any problem
with me staying.” Just as Thor did to him the previous year, Barkley struck Nikolai with his paw and sent
him flying into the river. Barkley said, “See to it that you never set foot on Salmon Rock again, for I am
Lord of the Bears. Go home to your family and stay put with them.” Nikolai shouted over the sound of
the rushing waters, “I will go home, and when I see the northern lights flashing in the sky tonight, I will
feel happy being with my family, while you will feel lonely on this cold, hard rock with nothing but your
title, Lord of the Bears. I don’t think I’ll need to ever come back.”
That night, Barkley sat on Salmon Rock as the northern lights flashed in the sky. Nikolai’s words
came back to haunt him and he realized that he was truly alone. Barkley tried to ease his feelings of
loneliness by telling himself that he was the most powerful bear around. However, Barkley’s reassurances
to himself did not work. He realized for the first time that he had scared away any possible friends with
his anger and fury. Barkley broke down and wept. He cried over not having his father. He cried over
leaving his mother. He cried over not having any friends and being all alone.
Barkley remained on the rock for 2 more days, barely moving. On the third day, Barkley decided to
leave Salmon Rock and search for food elsewhere. During his travels, he came upon a bear family fishing
in about a foot of water. Barkley was entertained by the youngest bear who was frustrated in his efforts to
catch any fish. Barkley drew closer and was surprised to see that it was Nikolai. Barkley cried out,
“What’s the matter, little one, can’t you catch any fish?” Nikolai then replied, “Oh, leave me alone. I
haven’t gone back to Salmon Rock to bother you anymore, so I don’t need you teasing me here in my
home.”
An unfamiliar feeling came over Barkley. He looked at the young bear and admired his spunk.
Barkley said, “Come with me to a place where you will surely catch fish. Come with me to Salmon Rock.
There is more than enough room for the two of us.” Nikolai hesitated before saying, “I thought you didn’t
let anyone else on your throne. How can I trust that you won’t throw me back into the river?” Barkley
shared, “I found out that what you said was true. I’ve found that Salmon Rock is a lonely place when
you’re the only one who stays there. I would like it if you would come back and fish with me.” Nikolai
reluctantly inquired, “Can I bring my family along with me?” Barkley softly replied, “Sure.”
Barkley led Nikolai and his family back to Salmon Rock. The other neighboring bears were shocked
to see Barkley sharing his space. The day passed and Barkley found more happiness in sharing Salmon
Rock with Nikolai’s family than in being selfish and alone. It felt so good to share. Barkley made sure
from that day on that many other bears got their fair chance to fish from Salmon Rock. In sharing,
Barkley learned the importance of making friends. He was no longer content in being Lord of the Bears.
Rather, Barkley found happiness in knowing that he was a good friend. He also searched out and found
his mother, Kiana. Barkley often invited her to visit him at Salmon Rock.
Barkley lived a good life sharing his place on Salmon Rock with many other bears. And, whenever
the northern lights put on their dazzling display in the evening sky, Barkley made sure that Nikolai was by
his side to enjoy the beauty. Ah, Alaska! There is no other place on earth quite like it.