Introduction:

One of the most alarming issues educators and teachers discuss these days is the decrease of

children’s academic performance and the escalating aggressiveness among them. The scope of

this awful fact has reached a dreadful point: teachers are only ‘pushing’ students from one grade

level to another. In the meantime, electronic devices providing access to movies and video games

full of sexuality and violence—intended for children— are booming. As children’s mental

abilities (still in development) can be shaped by whatever they are exposed to, these digital

devices, used mainly to entertain with movies and games, may have played a role in the wrong

turn of children’s education. In other words, the technological advance, that once was anticipated

to enhance children’s education, has turned out to be rather harmful to their cognitive and social

skills development because technology marketers have set consumption, not education, as a main

goal to electronic innovations. To investigate this matter deeply, I relied on the works

of renowned educationists in an attempt to raise awareness about this subject. Indeed,

understanding how technology may harm precious elements of our society, children, may draw

parents’ and teachers’ attention so that they act to save kids before it’s too late. To apprehend the

topic at hand, I first explained what the basic objectives of children’s education are. Second, I

showed how technology may contribute in teaching and learning. Then, I detailed the harm the

unguided use of computers and other consumption oriented technology tools may cause to

children’s health, behaviours, and education.

A/ Education is the tool by which children acquire literacy and develop cognitive and social

skills

I / Literacy has always been the basic aim of education throughout history.
Literacy, the ability to read and write (and count), has always been the prime concern of

learning. Neil Postman, the greatest cultural critic and the former chair of the Department of

Communication Arts and Sciences at New York University, states, in The disappearance of

Childhood (1994), that the Greeks and the Romans did create schools to teach children how to

read and write. These schools had, indeed, played a notable role of spreading literacy to many

parts of the world. After the fall of the Roman Empire and because of materials’ scarcity, literacy

became of interest to only few people, the wealthy and the Nobles. During the dark Middle Ages

(form the fifth to the fifteen century), people (in Europe) sank deep into a darkness of illiteracy

and ignorance. They were able communicate orally, which is learned naturally by the age of 7

with no need for formal instruction. Moreover, those who can read did it word by word without

knowing the meaning of these words mostly. Some were even saved from death by hang for

crimes they committed just because they were found able to read: “The said Paul reads, to be

branded; the said William does not read, to be hanged” (Postman,1994, p . 32). It was the

invention of the printing press (by the German Johannes Gutenberg around 1440) that spread the

literacy, books, schools, and knowledge. Nowadays, all over the world, literacy and numeracy

are taught in schools, and countries strive to make eradicating illiteracy an ultimate goal to their

schooling programs.

II/ Education aims to develop children’s cognitive abilities.

In this era of technology, individuals are more and more required to gain, through education,

useful technical skills to aspire and contribute to a decent life for all. As I stated above, in the

Middle Ages, in England for example, just being able to read a sentence from the Bible may

confer to a convicted criminal the privilege of being free of charge. In our time, literacy can’t
play this virtuous role, though many criminals may stay beyond the reach of law by other means

of undeclared immunities (wealth, higher status, etc.).Moreover, Literacy alone can’t bring

considerable reward to literate people. According to official statistics, known to almost everyone,

even highly skilled individuals (immigrants everywhere in the world for instance) may lead

miserable lives if they are deprived of the right connections inside our corrupt systems.

Therefore, literacy is not a final objective of education; it is a means to endow children, the

luckiest of them, with specific technical abilities, which may help them fulfill their unrealistic

dreams of being doctors(all of them, all at once).

III/ Education also aims to teach children manners and self-control.

The relationship between education and children sociability is a two way process. First,

according to the fundamental philosophy of childhood, educating includes teaching social skills

too. John Locke(1632-1704) assured that children should be taught manners, shame, and self

restraint as well as literacy (Postman, p 57). Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778), however,

claimed that a child holds inherent talents to be protected from educating to manners (Postman,

1994, p. 57). These two theories were adamantly competing in America in the 19th century. Later,

a view combining the theories of Freud and Dewey prevailed: the individual character and the

curiosity of the child should be nurtured, but self control should be extended(Postman, 1994, p.

63). Second, Postman (1994) insists on the role of the self control in knowledge development.

Acquiring literacy requires a “self-control and delayed gratification” (p.88). He adds: “Manners,

one might say, are asocial analogue to literacy. Both require a submission of the body to the

mind. Both require a fairly long developmental learning process”(p. 88).From another angle,

educational institutions in Canada, for example, have recently been advocating for teaching

civility to students. Ontario ministry of education web site states: Character development is
embedded in teaching and learning in all publicly funded Ontario boards and schools – English,

French and Catholic. It addresses the whole student as an individual, as a learner and as an

engaged citizen, as outlined in Finding Common Ground: Character Development in Ontario

Schools, K-12. Thus, educators agree on the importance of teaching positive behaviors to

children both for their successful learning and their well being in society.

IV/Building environmentally friendly attitudes is another purpose of today’s education.

In addition, education scope is extending beyond literacy, technical, and social skills. For

example, in the light of the striking environmental challenges facing mankind, many educational

programs aim to teach appropriate behaviors to preserve a clean nature and earth resources.

According to the website of the ministry of education of Ontario, “if everyone lived and

consumed like an “average Canadian”, we would need four (or more) planet earths”. A

presentation destined to teachers, “enviroed”, defines education’s purposes in more pragmatic

terms: Education prepares students for "success." But if we consider that our definition of

success means more (more education, competition in the workplace, better paying jobs, more

ability to consume and acquire material goods, growing status, a life of comfort and

convenience) – how does this success mesh with ecological Imperatives? Educational systems

should then respond to ‘ecological imperatives’ as another determining goal to achieve. In the

same presentation, E.O. Wilson, Sociobiologist, adds: "A well informed, educated electorate is

necessary to make the right choices for a sustainable world. Education is undeniably crucial."In

other words, public education should introduce not only technology to schooling, but the natural

dimension too. Children should learn how central is to wisely consume natural resources and

keep our soil and air clean. That’s because the current educational policies in developed

countries (and the rest of the world), explicitly or implicitly, teach to more growth and more
consumption of materials. This situation can only nurture the environmental crisis through more

pollution in the air and soil, more materials shortage, and more water scarcity, which may lead to

wars on these precious resources. Thus, educating to a responsible exploitation of natural

resources is the key to a better and peaceful life.

B/ Computers, as technological instruments, has made valuable contributions to children’s

education:

I/ Computers help student learn in schools.Since their introduction to schools, computers have

helped students tremendously. Through Appropriate online documentaries and movies they

watch in class, children can see how abstract concepts work in real life. That’s because kids

grasp symbolic knowledge with ease when they visualize its real utility in real world. Before a

scientific public exposition at a school where I was teaching, I used some online illustrations, in

addition to concrete material, to explain to students, for the first time, the concept of atoms and

primary chemical reactions. I remember well how a grade five girl was able to understand and

explain to visitors, in simple but scientific terms, the process of separating the water molecule

into hydrogen and oxygen in electrolysis. What is astonishing about this story is that this little

girl was known to get the lowest marks in the class during years, and even her mother expressed

her worry to me regarding this issue. Computers can also play fabulous roles to help mentally

challenged kids learn. Jane M. Healy, an eminent expert in educational psychology, recounts in

her book, Failure to Connect, another touching story where Susan, a six-year-old child with a

mental learning difficulty, used a computer program to learn sounds: on the computer screen. . .

an animated clown presents a game in which Susan must distinguish between simple sounds (in

this case, “Pah” and “bah”). . . .Susan is enjoying her success. . . .Her parents are especially

delighted, because Susan hasn’t been smiling a lot since she started her first grade. (Healy, J.
1998, p. 155)Thus, technology, if used properly, may help students progress in learning and even

bring joy and gladness to many innocent hearts.

1. Does the essay have a title that identifies its key terms and thesis? If yes, explain why you
think it is effective? If no, write down what you think would be an effective title:

Not yet

2. Write down the thesis statement: How technology can be harmful

3. Can you identify any words that you believe are imprecise? Write them down:

Socio-biology [lacks a hyphen]

3. Did you have trouble finding the thesis statement? Explain.

No, typical research statement

4. Does the thesis statement express the main idea in a full, declarative sentence that is not a
question, not a statement of purpose, and not merely a topic?

Yes, may be too long. Except that it is broken down into more than one sentence

5. Does the paper blend quotations into the writing, provide attribution for each quotation and
summarize its purpose.

Yes, although confusing at times

6. Does the paper paraphrase and summarize; use quotations only when the exact words are
essential. Check each quotation.

Yes two paraphrases and three quotations, one that I am unsure if is simply information provided
by Mohammed
7. How many citations does the paper include?

The paper includes 5 citations

8. In your mind, is this an adequate number? Explain.

Yes for the first portion

6. Examine the paper globally:

*begin where you left off during the last draft workshop.

6.1 Underline all of the topic sentences and examine them for strength by identifying how many
words are in the subject of each topic sentence and identifying whether or not the writer is
relying on the active rather than the passive voice and strong verbs rather than weak "to be"
verbs.

Topic Sentence Subject word count Verb (Write down each main
verb of the topic sentence and
evaluate it as being weak or
strong)

Paragraph 1 1 Has to - Weak

Paragraph 2 1 Aims to - Strong

Paragraph 3 2 Aims to - Strong

Paragraph 4 4 Is - Strong

Paragraph 5 1 Help - Strong

 Paragraph 6

Paragraph 7

Paragraph 8

Paragraph 9

6.2 Next, underline all of the topic sentences in the paper and examine them for strength and
clarity holistically. If you feel a topic sentence is weak or missing, mark the topic sentence for
revision.

None are missing, but writer is required to diversify his use of verbs, and avoid overusing the
same one. (using verbs such as exacerbates, pressures or demonstrates are strong verbs which
clarify your argument)

6.3. Next, examining each paragraph, one-by-one, can you spot any sentences that do not relate
to the main topic of the paragraph? Cross them out.

None, although at times author overuses redundant examples, in the 2nd paragraph check review
balloon.

6.4 Are there any single paragraphs with more than one main idea that should be broken down
into two or more paragraphs? Identify the paragraphs and the main points.

No

6.5 Is the writer providing descriptive headings? Mark places and write headings that you believe
would enhance the coherence and readability of the document.

Yes, he broke his essay into sections

6.6 For each paragraph, identify whether or not it is informative or transitional.

Par. I.a - Informative

Par. II.a - Informative

Par. III.a – Informative

Par. IV. a – Informative

Par. I. b - Informative

6.7 Does the reader provide transitions between paragraphs and sections of the paper? Identify
the places where the paper would benefit from having transitional paragraphs or phrases to
connect the flow of logic.

Anywhere in his A section would be useful in order to avoid having to break his topics by
numbers.

7. In what way is the conclusion satisfying? Explain in two complete sentences.

N/A

8. What questions do you have of the writer?

What do you think of Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s philosophies when compared to John Lock’s.

9. What do you want to know more about?

The diversity of education and how non-native cultural centers are influenced by it.

10. What in your opinion is the most interesting aspect of the essay?

His research is very thoroughly done

11.The least interesting?

His own opinion on the topic

12. What is the most pertinent piece of advice that you have for the writer?

Try creating an Essay which can also include the reader