Self

 Hackathon  presents  

11  Confidence  MindHacks  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Powered  by  
Patrycja  Slawuta
Sooooo…  

You  would  like  to  be  much  more  confident…

 
This  is  the  right  place  to  start  -­‐  and  I’m  excited  to  share  with  you  the  11  Confidence  
Hacks.  
   
But   before   we   start   let’s   explore   what   confidence   means   to   you.   In   other   words   -­‐  
how  would  your  life  be  different  if  you  were  much  more  confident?  
 
No  censorship  here  -­‐  feel  free  to  write  all  the  crazy  awesome  or  crazy  insane  things  
you  would  do  if  you  had  more  confidence.    
 
If  I  were  much  more  confident  I  would:

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………...……………..………………………
 
So   here   we   go   -­‐   we   will   cover   three   essential   elements   of   healthy   confidence.   In  this  
special  report  we  will  hack  the  following  sources  of  potential  fear/anxieties  and  self-­‐
doubt:  

1.  head  
2.  body  
3.  other  people

 
After  reading  the  report  and  doing  the  exercises  you  will  have  plenty  of  kickass  tools  
to  be  much  more  confident,  more  courageous  and  more  overall  badass.

Ready?

 
Here  we  go!

  2  
*Who  is  Patrycja  Slawuta?

 
 Let  me  just  very  briefly  tell  you  who  I  am.  And  why  do  I  talk  about  confidence  and  
fearlessness.  
 
I  have  been  researching  the  depths  of  the  human  psyche  for  the  last  10  years.  Both  
inside   of   academia   (have   MA   in   psychology   working   on   PhD)   as   well   as  outside   -­‐  
working  with  various  promising  startups,  established  companies  as  well  as  starting  
my  own  businesses.    
 
I   studied   confidence   because   I   lacked   one   myself.   I   was   afraid   of   showing   up,  
speaking   up   and   shining.   I   felt   that   another   description   could   easily   be   shame   -­‐  
because  that’s  what  I  was  carrying  around.  Researching  confidence  was  the  best  and  
the  worst  thing  that  could  happen  to  me  -­‐  it  taught  me  that  confidence  is  not  a  stable  
inborn   trait   like   eye   color.   It’s   a   skill   that   can   be   learned,   developed   and  
cultivated  with  the  right  tools  and  mindset.    

Confidence  is  a  state  of  mind.  It’s  how  you  put  yourself  out  there,  how  you  negotiate,  
how  others  see  you  and  how  you  see  yourself.  Healthy  confidence  is  like  a  healthy  
immune  system  -­‐  it  guards  you  from  all  the  toxic  stuff  the  world  sometimes  throws  
at  you.  It’s  a  must-­‐take  vitamin  for  any  entrepreneur.  
 
And  for  ladies  out  there  -­‐  well…. confidence  is  the  new  black.    
 
It’s  sexy,  sensual  and  extremely  powerful.  
 
Confidence  is  damn  sexy.  Ask  any  man.  
 
Here   you   will   learn   the   art   and   science   of   confidence.   You   will   learn  
how  to  strengthen   and   build   up   your   confidence   muscle.   Even   if   you   are   starting  
form   a   NEGATIVE   level.   Even,   and   especially,   if   confidence   is   not   your   “thing”.  
We  will   custom   tailor   a   confidence   outfit   just   for   you.   For   you   to   wear   it,   own  
it  and  rock  it.  

 
Let’s  get  started!

  3  
-HEAD-
aka  the  big  walnut  

We  will  start  with  the  HEAD.  Because  this  is  where  your  100  billion  neurons  of  your  
brain   lives.   It’s   extremely   complex.   And   that   complexity   can   work   in   your   favor   or  
against  you.    
 
Let   me   explain   -­‐   our   brains   works   all   the   time   and   as   an   effect   they   create…  
THOUGHTS.  Maaaany  of  them.  
 
Research  shows  that  on  average  we  have  70,000  thoughts  -­‐  out  of  which…  95%  
are  THE  SAME!  
 
What  does  that  mean?  

Well  this  mean  that  we  think  the  same  sh*t  over  and  over  again.  Every  single  day.  
Same  self-­‐doubt,  self-­‐lathing,  same  self-­‐critique.  Same  thoughts  about  yourself,  who  
you   are   and   what   you   deserve.   As   well   as   same   thoughts   about   people,   what   their  
nature  is  and  how  they  relate  to  you.

So  some  key  questions  to  consider:    

What  are  you  thinking  about?    

Are  your  thoughts  positive  or  negative?  
Do  they  empower  or  disempower  you?

Ok   so   here   we   come   to   the   topic   of   LIMITING   BELIEFS.   Those   are   the   beliefs   that  
are   actually   disempowering.   Often   abusive,   critical   and   cynical   of   ourselves.   Those  
are   the   words   and   comments   that   our   Inner   Critic   may   say.   And   in   many   cases   it  
actually  does.

Psychological  Mindhack-­‐  hacking  the  limiting  beliefs  

 
Below  is  the  plan  of  attack  on  the  limiting  beliefs:  
 
recognize  
rewrite  &  rewire  
reinforce  
 

So  let’s  do  it.

  4  
Mindhack  #1:  
 
Recognize  -­‐  in  this  phase  you  write  down  all  that  hold  you  BACK,  all  that  the  inner  
critic   says,   and   all   that   you   possibly   believe   that   may   be   TRUE   about   you.   This   is  
where  the  negative  self  talk  goes  to  party.  
 
Write   the   most   crunchy,   juiciest   limiting   beliefs   you   have.   No   censorship   –  
we  all  have  our  own  inner  demons.    
 
As  great  anonymous  quote  goes  -­‐  “It’s  the  same  game,  just  different  levels.  The  same  
hell,  just  different  demons.”  
 
So  what  are  the  demons  that  hold  you  back  from  flying  high  and  really  taking  off  in  
this  one  and  precious  life?  

Limiting  belief  1…………………………………………………………………………………..…………….

 
Limiting  belief  2…………………………………………………………………………………..…………….  
 
Limiting  belief  3…………………………………………………………………………………..…………….  
 
Limiting  belief  4…………………………………………………………………………………..…………….  

Limiting  belief  5…………………………………………………………………………………..…………….  

Done?  Uff  -­‐  amazing  job.    

 
 
The   truth   is   that   we   often   hear   the   inner   critique   but   barely   ever   recognize   it   and  
put  it  down  on  paper.  Now  that  you  have  it  on  paper  we  can  start  REWRITING  those  
beliefs.  That  means  actually  turn  them  into  something  empowering,  motivating  and  
inspiring.    
 
 
 
Mindhack  #2:  
So  now  pick  the  one  limiting  belief  that’s  the  juiciest,  the  most  powerful  and  the  one  
that  holds  you  back  the  most.    
 
Got  it?  Great!  

Now   let’s   have   the   *magic*   begin:   write   a   sentence   that   would   be   the   OPPOSITE  
of  your  limiting  belief.  

  5  
If  this  is  somehow  difficult  for  you  let  me  give  you  an  example  -­‐  if  you  had  a  limiting  
belief   that   says   “nobody   likes   me”   -­‐   the   empowering   belief   would   be   “I’m   a   social  
superstar  and  people  enjoy  my  company”.   (This   is   actually   my  personal   example   from  
3-­‐4  years  ago).

Make   sure   that   whatever   you   write   makes   sense   to   you.   It’s   doesn’t   even   have  
to  super  grammatically  correct  -­‐  just  write  what  speaks  and  makes  sense  to  YOU.  
 
My  new  empowering  belief:…………………………………………………………………………….
 
Now… write  it  again………………………………………………………………………….…………….
 
And  now  say  it  out-­‐loud.  Yes  I  mean  it.  OUT  LOUD.

Mindhack  #3:  
And  now  the  last  and  final  part  -­‐  you  will  say  this  new  empowering  belief  to  yourself  
every  MORNING  after  you  wake  up  and  every  evening  RIGHT  BEFORE  SLEEP  for  the  
next  7  -­‐  10  days.    
 
This   is   an   extremely   powerful   exercise.   We   go   much   more   in   detail   when   it  comes  
to  limiting   beliefs   in   my   Self   Confidence   Hackathon   course   so   go   there   if  you   want  
to  learn  more  and  dive  deeper  into  how  the  mind  works.    
 
For  now  this  is  a  solid  first  step  in  building  up  your  confidence.    

-BODY-
Our   body   has   caused   us   a   lot   of   trouble   throughout   the   ages.   It’s   both   the   source  
of  immense  pleasure,  joy  as  well  as  shame,  guilt  and  fear.    
 
Human   bodies   evolved   to   be   gigantic   communication   antennas   -­‐   we   read  
and  communicate   basic   emotional   states   -­‐   such   as   fear   and   anger   -­‐   much   faster   with  
body  postures  than  with  any  other  form  of  communication.  
 

  6  
Same   goes   for   confidence   -­‐   it   can   be   hacked   by   using   the   body   language  
and  the  biofeedback  loop  that  exists  between  the  mind  and  the  body.  In  other  words  
–  we  can  hack  the  body  so  that  we  change  our  mindset  for  the  feeling  of  confidence.    
 
Now  let’s  focus  on  the  two  major  indicators  of  confidence  -­‐  how  we  stand  and  how  
we  sound.  
 
Let’s  start  with  the  body  posture.  
First  -­‐  a  mental  exercise.  When  you  look  at  a  random  person  -­‐  how   do   you   know/  
how  can  you  tell  that  they  are  confident?  
 
Really  think  about  that…  
 
I  know  a  person  is  confident  when:  

1………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
2………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
3………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  

Pretty   much   in   all   of   animal   and   human   world   one   can   tell   who   the   alpha  
male/female  is  by  looking  at  their  body  language.    
 
 
In   the   human   environment   people   who   are   confident   have   open   body   language,  
stand   tall   and   straight.   They   take   on   something   we   call   in   psychology   -­‐   power  
poses.    
 
Power   poses   are   poses   that   display   power,   confidence.   Those   are   poses   that   take  
space.  It’s  almost  like  claiming  space,  owning  it  and  communicating  to  others  -­‐  this  is  
who  I  am  and  here  is  where  I  stand.  With  confidence.    

Think  of  superman  or  wonder  woman  pose.  A  pose  when  the  chest  is  up,  the  body  
is  upright  so  that  the  body  communicates  confidence  and  being  grounded.  Research  
shows   that   taking   on   a   power   pose   for   just   2   minutes   boosts   your   perceived  
confidence.   Not   only   that   -­‐   others   see   you   more   confidence   as   well.   It   literally  
makes  you  feel  and  seem  more  confident.  Pretty  remarkable,  yes?  
 
And   the   interesting   thing   is   that   not   only   we   FEEL   more   confident   but   also  
physiologically  we  become  more  confident.    
 
Let  me  explain  -­‐  when  putting  on  a  power  pose  we  send  a  biofeedback  loop  to  our  
brain.  Research  shows  that  maintaining  a  power  pose  increases  testosterone  (the  
winners’   hormone)   and   decreases   cortisol   (the   stress   hormone).   This   become  
a  bio-­‐hack  -­‐  literally  -­‐  where  the  body  hacks  the  brain.    

  7  
Mindhack  #4:  
 
So  let’s  do  it  right  now:  
 
Strike  on  a  power  pose  -­‐  it  can  contain  any  of  the  following:  
- hands  up  in  a  victory  sign  
- hands  on  hips,  wonder  woman  style  
- chest  up,  chin  up  and  legs  firmly  grounded

Hold  the  pose  for  2-­‐3  minutes  and  see  what  it  does  to  your  body,  mind  and  feeling  
of  confidence.    
 
I   encourage   you   to   watch   a   great   talk   by   Amy   Cuddy   -­‐   a   fellow   psychologist   from  
Harvard  who  talk  about  this  research  in  detail  here:    
 
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?l
anguage=en  
 
And   here   is   a   little   cheat   sheet   of   what   NOT   TO   DO   it   you   want   to   feel   confident.  
Because   this   will   actually   trigger   lack   of   confidence   by   increasing   the   levels  
of  cortisol  -­‐  the  stress  hormone.    
 
Be   aware   when   you   put   yourself   into   powerless   poses   -­‐   those   are   the   poses  
of  shrinking,   disappearing,   becoming   small   and   contracted,   where   your   chest  
is  collapsed,  head  down  and  the  spine  humped.    
 
This  actually  makes  us  more  anxious,  stress  and  much  less  confident.  

 
Got  that,  Wonder  Woman?

***  

VOICE   -­‐   as   a   quote   goes   -­‐   People  will  forget  what  you  said,  people  will  forget  what  
you  did,  but  people  will  never  forget  how  you  made  them  feel.  (Maya  Angelou).  Well  
actually  I  would  paraphrase  it  and  say  that  you  will  forget  what  you  said  and  did  but  
will  remember  HOW  you  did  it.    
 
And  so  it  goes  for  confidence  –  it’s  really  not  what  you  say,  it’s  about  how  you  do  it.    
 
Psychological   research   shows   that   anxiety   and   fear   (which   are   proxy   for   lack  
of  confidence)  affect  the  vocal  cords:  so  that  we  speak  fast,  the  voice  gets  to  be  with  
high  pitch  and  there  are  barely  any  pauses  between  the  sentences.    

  8  
In   other   words   -­‐   we   try   to   get   the   information   out   of   us   as   quickly   as   possible.  
The  truth   is   that   it’s   hard   to   take   people   seriously   when   they   squeak   sentences  
really  really  fast.    
 
Confidence,  on  the  other  hand  is  conveyed  with  slow,   relaxed,   lower   and  neutral  
tone.   Every   sentence   has   its   gravity.   Every   sentence   is   important   and   the  
importance  is  stressed  by  how  it’s  being  said.    
 
Some   call   it   gravitas.   Others   call   it   badass   public   speaker.   I   call   it   “Listen   up   people,  
I  have  something  important  to  tell  you  so  pay  attention”.  
 
Some   very   cool   recent   research   shows   that   perceived   power   (aka   being   in-­‐
control)   affects   how   we   speak.   If   we   feel   safe   and   in   control   our   voice   naturally  
deepens   and   slows   down.   When   we   feel   somehow   stressed,   out   of   control  
and  lacking   confidence   the   voice   gets   that   famous   high   pitch   and   we   end   up  
speaking  with  the  speed  of  semi-­‐automatic  machine  gun.  

Mindhack  #5:  Slow  down  

Really,   deliberately   speak   2   times   slower   than   you   usually   do.   This   will   first   feel  
weird,  maybe  somehow  awkward  but  this  WORKS.  That  way  you  can  actually  hear  
what  the  hell  you  are  saying  and  others  will  perceive  you  as  much  more  confident.  

Mindhack   #6:   Stop   nodding   your   head   all   the   time  

as  people  talk
This  is  tricky  because  we  want  to  show  others  that  we  are  following  what  they  say  
and   that   we   agree.   However,   this   makes   us   look   like   a   bobble   head.   And  nobody  
takes  bobble  heads  seriously.  So  try  this  -­‐  and  I  have  done  this  many  times  -­‐  don’t  
nod,  just   look,   be   present   and   listen.  And  then  nod  or  say  uh-­‐hum  (or  whatever  
else  you  say)  as  people  finish  their  part.  You  will  see  how  much  more  powerful  this  
is.    

Mindhack  #7:  Get  in  control  

   
Focus   on   something   you   actually   CAN   control   -­‐   such   as   your   breath,   your   hands  
and  legs.   This   is   especially   important   when   we   feel   out   of   control   -­‐   when   others  
are  judging  and  evaluating  us.

  9  
And   here   is   a   BIGGIE   -­‐   many   women   end   sentences   with   a   vocal   inclination  
at  the  end.   As   if   they   were   asking   a   question.   This   way   instead   of   making   a   strong  
statement   or   an   argument   -­‐   they   pose   a   question.   The   effect   is   that   the   sentence  
loses  its  power  and  sharpness.  This  actually  communicates  that  we  are  not  so  sure  
of  what  we  are  saying  and  that  we  may  or  may  not  be  right.  So  we  leave  the  decision  
to  the  listener.    

Mindhack  #8:  
Now,  this  question  thing  can  be  very  tricky.  The  best  way  of  dealing  with  this  mostly  
feminine   problem   I   have   heard   came   from   Barbara   Tannenbaum   -­‐   professor  
at  Brown   university   who   hacked   the   question   issue   by   saying   the  sentence  
as  if  there  was  a  DAMMIT!  at  the  end  of  the  sentence.  
 
This   actually   forces   you   to   lower   the   tone   at   the   end   of   every   sentence   making  
it  stronger,  more  powerful  and  much  more  confident.    
 
Try  it  for  yourself  

-OTHERS-
If   you   have   ever   taken   a   psychology   101   course   in   college   you   probable   read   this  
timeless  course  book  called  Social  Animal  by  Elliot  Aronson.    
 
Because   indeed   we   are   social   animals.   We   are   wired   to   be   social,   to   interact   with  
other  human  beings,  to  feel  like  we  are  accepted  and  that  we  belong.    
 
Some  neuroscientists  even  claim  that  our  big  brain  evolved  to  be  so  big  and  complex  
because  of  all  the  social  interactions  we  had  to  figure  out.    

Just  to  show  you  a  scope  of  this  -­‐  think  for  a  second  what  do  you  think  about  when  
you   don’t   think   about   “anything”.   In   other   words   -­‐   what   do   you   think   about   when  
you  mind  just  wonders.  When  you  freely  daydream.    
 
Well   -­‐   psychologist   looked   at   this   and   found   out   that   when   our   brain   is   “resting”   it’s  
actually   engaging   in   all   types   of   activities   we   call   in   psychology   social   cognition.  
That   is   -­‐   you   think   about   you,   about   other   people   and   you   relation   to  them.  

  10  
This  is  pretty   remarkable   finding   -­‐   showing   us   that   being   and   interacting   with  
others  is  hardwired  into  our  nervous  system.  
 
So  what  does  it  have  to  do  with  our  confidence?  
 
Well  -­‐  the  way  psychology  sees  is  that  others  program  us.    
 
That’s   right   -­‐   others   affect   not   only   how   we   feel   (about   ourselves)   but   also   what  
we  think  and  believe  in.  A  fascinating  research  done  at  MIT  and  Harvard  
(read  a  good  summary  here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/magazine/13contagion-­‐
t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 ) shows   us   that   we   are   the   average   of   5   people  
we  spend  the  most  time  with.  
 
This   has   to   do   with   pretty   much   everything   -­‐   but   the   most   important   part  
for  us  right  now  is  confidence.

The  question  arises:  

Are  you  surrounded  by  people  who  motivate,  encourage  and  empower  you?    
Or  people  who  say  it’s  impossible,  can’t  be  done  and  you  shouldn’t  even  try.    
 
Research  shows  that  for  every  YOU  CAN’T  DO  IT  we  need  5-­‐7  YOU  CAN  DO  IT.  
 
Yes-­‐  this  is  crazy  but  this  is  also  true.  It  shows  us  how  important  support  is  and  how  
others  can  define  for  us  what  is  and  is  not  possible.    
 
Of   course   it   was   be   a   bit   radical   to   break   family   ties   and   move   to   a   different   city  
to  change  the  CAN/CAN’T  ratio  you  hear  from  the  people  around  you.  
 
Books,   authors   and   programs   are   also   programming   you   -­‐   sometimes   we  just  
need   to   read   an   awesome   book,   hear   a   motivational   speech   or   get   inspired   by   our  
role  model.    

Mindhack  #9:  
 
So  here  is  how  to  hack  confidence  via  others  -­‐    
see  who  is  programming  you…  
 
In   other   words   who   are   you   spending   most   of   your   time   with:   are   they   actually  
making  you  or  breaking  you?  
 

  11  
Let’s  do  it  right  now:

The  people  I  spend  most  of  my  time  with  are  (list  5):  
1)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
2)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
3)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
4)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
5)…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
 
And   now   think   -­‐   are   they   inspiring,   empowering   and   supporting   you.   Or   maybe  
somehow  drain  you,  disempower  you  and  limit  you.  
 
You   can   always   find   a   mentor   to   help   you   out,   a   role   model   to   inspire   you  
and  friends  to  tell  you  that  impossible  is  nothing.    
 
How   to   do   it,   and   how   to   deal   with   not-­‐so-­‐motivating   relationships   gets   covered  
in  detail   in   Self   Confidence   Hackathon   so   if   you   want   to   learn   more   on   hacking  
confidence  via  others  that’s  your  place  to  go.  

Mindhack  #10:

Hacking  the  social  confidence  formula  -­‐  the  science  of  little  wins.    
 
Harvard  research  shows  that  it’s  actually  little  wins  are  what  build  big  confidence.    
 
Confidence  does  not  descend  upon  you  like  a  pretty  sparkly  pink  cloud.  Confidence  
gets  built  one  little  baby  victory  added  to  another  baby  victory.  And  CELEBRATED.  
 
Confidence   is   the   willingness   to   take   risks,   to   speak   up   and   speak   our   mind   because  
we  believe  we  have  something  to  add  to  the  conversation.  Because  you  believe  you  
CAN  and  if  not  you  now  then  who  else?  
 
That’s  where  community  and  celebrating  little  wins  because  key.    
 
I  call  it  bragging  -­‐  and  bragging  is  one  of  the  best,  most  fun  and  most  beautiful  ways  
of  building  confidence.    

Bragging  consists  of  you  unapologetically  saying  what  went  well.  And  what  are  you  
proud   of.   Of   course   you   can   do   it   by   yourself   -­‐   by   writing   it   down   every   day  
in  the  evening.    

  12  
Or  -­‐  and  that  can  be  much  more  powerful  and  much  more  scary  too  -­‐  share  it  with  
other  people.    
 
Happiness  shared  is  twice  as  joyful.  
 
Personally,  I  have  two  bragging  groups  where  together  with  3  other  women  we  brag  
what   went   well   that   day.   Sometimes   those   are   huge   victories   such   as  getting  
a  promotion   or   solving   a   big   problem.   Sometimes   it’s   small   things   such   as   going  
to  the  gym  or  seeing  a  beautiful  sunset.    

Bragging  is  sexy,  it’s  awesome  and  it  makes  you  shine.  Big  time.  

So  right  now  write  down  5  things  you  did  today  that  made  YOU  proud  of  YOURSELF:
1  -­‐  I  brag  that  …………………………………………………………………………………………..…….………
2  -­‐  I  brag  that  …………………………………………………………………………………………..…….………  
3  -­‐  I  brag  that  …………………………………………………………………………………………..…….………  
4  -­‐  I  brag  that  …………………………………………………………………………………………..…….………  
5  -­‐  I  brag  that  …………………………………………………………………………………………..….…………  

Mindhack  #11:  
If   you   feel   courageous   then   reach   out   to   2-­‐3   other   people   who   you   trust   and  
who  will  be  your  cheering   squad.  People  who  will  support,  encourage  and  motivate  
you  to  shine  brighter,  bigger  and  power  powerfully.    
 
Because  this  is  what  real  confidence  is  about  -­‐  about  feeling  full,  worthy  and  totally  
OK  with  oneself.    
 
This  is  my  intention  for  you  as  you  read  these  11  Confidence  Mindhacks.    
 
They  are  all  based  on  science,  super  powerful  and  super  effective  if  you  use  them.  
 
Remember  -­‐  confidence  is  a  skill  and  with  the  right  tools  you  can  learn  it  and  rock  it.  
 
As  I  mentioned  before  -­‐  Confidence  is  like  an  outfit,  wear  it,  own  it  and  rock  it.  
 
Given  the  ability  of  our  brain  to  rewire  and  reprogram  itself  -­‐  we  now  know  that  you  
can  be  much  more  confident,  much  braver  and  fearless.    
 

  13  
If  you  want  MORE  mindhacks,  science  of  confidence  and  overall  badassness  (yes,  it’s  
a  word  I  just  made  up)  come  join  me  at  Self  Confidence  Hackathon  -­‐  it’s  where  we  
dive   deep   into   your   psyche,   understand   what   holds   you   back   and  go   step-­‐by-­‐step  
into  the  land  of  confidence,  fearless  and  full-­‐body-­‐aliveness.  
 
I  can’t  wait  to  rock  and  roll  with  you.  
 

Confidently,
Patrycja

  14