"Prevention is better than cure.
" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be
diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
You should write at least 250 words.
It has been argued by some that money should be spent on precautionary measures because
research and treatment are very expensive .Although the expenditure on scientific studies and
treatment is not a waste of valuable resources, I believe that preventive measures are more
beneficial for both individuals and governments.
There are numerous reasons why I think that prevention is better than cure. Firstly,
educational programmes are the key to reducing the risk of various health disorders. People should
be educated about dangers of predisposing factors of chronic diseases such as unhealthy diet, lack of
exercise, smoking , alcohol and obesity. As a result, health awareness will improve fitness levels in
the community and reduces burden on healthcare systems. Secondly, a regular health monitoring
helps to diagnose a disease at an early stage and is cost effective for authorities. For instance, breast
cancer can be detected at an initial stage through mammography nowadays and it is completely
curable at this level. Therefore, an increased funding for diagnosing a disease at an early stage would
decrease its cost in the long-term.
Commented [AB1]: It is unclear what ‘measures’ you are
referring to here.
You need a sentence which gives a context –
‘In today’s world diseases are increasing, but cures are expensive.
Therefore money should be spent on precautionary measures’
Commented [AB2]: ‘the expenditure’ – no ‘the’; ‘expenditure’
is uncountable.
Commented [AB3]: ‘health conditions’ – ‘disorders’ are
connected to mental illnesses.
Commented [AB4]: ‘the dangers of predisposing’ – you need
‘the’ to go with noun + of + noun.
Commented [AB5]: ‘an unhealthy diet’ – use ‘a/an’ with an
adjective and singular noun.
Commented [AB6]: ‘reduces’ ‘will improve and reduce’ –
because you use ‘and’ this verb goes back to ‘will + verb’.
Commented [AB7]: ‘the burden’
Commented [AB8]: ‘preliminary stage’ – another synonym for
‘early’.
 However, despite all the arguments above, research and treatment are vital to

improve the standard of living for people. To illustrate, various infectious diseases ,genetic defects Commented [AB9]: ‘vital to improving’ - "to" is a preposition,
not part of an infinitive.
X is vital.
They are vital to X.
and heriditory disorders can not be prevented by taking precautions. Hence, treatment is the only Commented [AB10]: Spelling – ‘hereditory’
Commented [AB11]: Not really clear – ‘by taking
precautionary/pre-emptive action’
option for the aforementioned debilitating illnesses. Furthermore, the government should give more

money for research because there is no cure for various life- threatening diseases.For example,
advanced- stage malignancies have no treatment available and mortality rates are increasing. Hence,
Commented [AB12]: More formal here would be ‘dedicate /
allocate more money to ….’
Commented [AB13]: ‘are no cures for various life- threatening
diseases’ – you need the plural form of the verb ‘be’ because of
‘diseases’.

the government should invest more in reseach programmes to find life-saving drugs for deadly Commented [AB14]: ‘research’

illnesses.

In conclusion, while the investment on reseach and treatment is necessary, I would argue Commented [AB15]: ‘research’

that more money should be spent on preventive measures to reduce the treatment cost.

Comments:

IELTS Marking Criteria My comments Band score

Task Fulfilment Addresses all parts of the task.

Presents a relevant position
throughout the text with all 8.0
aspects of the clearly defined.
A balanced argument with a
clear conclusion as to what the
author believes. A very clear
and comprehensive answer to
the question.
Cohesion and Coherence Presents, extends and supports
relevant main well. The ideas 7.5
are on the whole well
organised. Paragraphing is clear
and well-organised. Very good
cohesion in your essay. Clear
and effective connections can
be seen.
Lexical resource Uses an excellent; deep and
complex range of vocabulary to
answer the question with highly 8.0
relevant vocabulary but with a
little lack of sophistication
where slightly more formal
words could be chosen.
Grammatical Range Uses a variety short and more 7.5
and accuracy complex sentences. Makes
some errors in grammar but
minor in terms of articles and
gerunds. These do not have a
huge effect on the
understanding of the text.

Overall Score: 7.5. Close to an excellent answer but some small spelling errors and a clear
introduction stopping you get an 8.0.